écriture Article: Learning to let go ch. one

7

posted by Funnygirl77

Leting go of the ones toi l’amour is like falling out of an airplane with no para shoot

Leting go of the ones you love is like falling out of an airplane with no para shoot

Nothing is harder then losing the one toi love. The One person who understands toi the most, The one who give anything to keep toi sûr, sans danger and happy even if that means losing their own life to save yours. I learned this the hard way, When a an il y a today, I Lost my parents, my brother and my sister, in a house fire.

May 19 2010 Monday 12:01 am
It's been a an since I Lost my family, and it hasn't been any easier. I have nightmares about what happen, ever nightmare is the same. It starts off with me being with my family, Everyone is laughing and having a good time, then out of no where, there faces start to melt off It gets really hot and then I wake up. Of course I wasn't there, I was at my Friends house, but I still fill responsible.

I sat up, then looked at the clock it was 12:12 I laid my head back down on my oreiller and closed my eyes in no time I was back asleep, having that same dream over and over aging. I awoke with a headache My aunt knocked on the door. "Naomi, Honey, are toi awake?" I got out of the lit and opened the door. Aunt Maggie stepped in side "are toi okay sweetie?" I didn't answer I just stood there with my head down. Aunt Maggie stood there for awhile, then turned and left the room.

May 19 2010 Monday 7:00
There was a Knock on the front door, I went down stairs, it was Jane. She looked at me then shook her head. "Are toi ever going to stop were that Damn hoodie?" I looked at her, then grabbed my bag and headed out the door. She followed behind me, I opened the car door took out my I-pod and turned it up. Jane stared the car, Then pulled over, I looked at her. "What are toi doing?!" I asked.

"Naomi I l’amour toi and all but toi got to stop fill sorry for yourself, there's nothing toi can do, it wasn't your fault it's not like toi caused the stupid fire." I looked at her, her words cut like Knifes, she looked back at me. I looked away, "Could toi just drive." Jane unlocked the doors, "Get out." I looked at her "J-" she shook her head, "Get out"

I got out the car, and Jane drove away, I started to walk to school, but then had to stop because the tears wouldn't stop coming. Some one drove past me, then backed up, they rolled down the window. "Get in" he said, it was Alec the only emo kid at my school. I opened the door and go in. I still had my I-pod in and my tears had turned my eyes red. I could fill his eyes on me, so I kept my head down.

May 19 2010 8:01 am Monday
I went to my accueil room class and, put my head down, Jane sat beside me. I see toi made it to school, I turned away I couldn't let her see how much she hurt me. Jane just tsked at me, then turned to talk to other people. I could fill some ones eyes one me, so I looked up to see who it was, it was Alec, our eyes meet, and I felt something. I couldn't stop looking in to his blue eyes, and he didn't stop looking at me. The teacher came in and Alec turned to the front. I sighed and took my ear phones out.

The rest of the school jour went par quicker then I'm use too. The whole time in study hall and at lunch i could fill his eyes on me. I meet Jane par my locker, before the last period of the day, She looked at me. "Naomi, I'm sorry I was just Mad, toi aren't the only one who Lost some one toi l’amour lets not forget toi aunt, and what about me, I was in l’amour with your brother, do toi know what his last words were too me?" I didn't answer her, "He told me he loved me."

The cloche, bell rung, and I walked away, Jane walked beside me. "Look na na I a dit I'm sorry." I looked at her, I nodded, "thanks Jane for what toi said, but I'm just not ready to let go." Jane walked away, then turned around "well when toi do let me know." She went in to her class, I started to walk to my class, Then out of no where the feu alarm rung. Everyone was run out of classes I stopped, I didn't know what to do.

There was shadows all around me, ever thing stared spinning. I sat down, The feu alarm kept getting louder and louder. Some one stood in front of me, They grabbed my shoulder and lifted me up. They crawled me like a baby, then we were out side, I looked up, and Alec was above me. His eyes locked on mine. I couldn't pull away, I got Lost in his eyes aging filling that same filling I felt aging. that same strange filling, Alec helped me sit up.

Then I pulled away from under his hand, I didn't mean to come off ungrateful I just don't like when people touch me. Alec scooted away, to give me some air, when he thought i was okay, he came over to me to help me stand. Once the school was cleared, everyone went back in. Jane came rushing over to me, when she saw me. she gave me a hug, "Your okay, i didn't see toi come out, so I thought." I pushed away from her, she stopped talking.

Then said, "You know,what Naomi. This is to much, I tried to stay being your friend, but I just can't handle your Behavior, your just to much." She walked away, I could fill his eyes on me I turned around Then looked away quickly.

May 19 2010 3:30 am Monday
Jane left with out me so I stared to walk, It would be 4:30 when I get home. It was about to rain so I put my hoddie on. Then it started to thunder so I took my phone out and was about to Call my aunt, but then Alec pulled up beside me. He opened the door I looked at him, being careful not to met his eyes. Then after a while I got in.

When I got home, I went up stairs and took a douche my aunt wasn't accueil yet my phone rung, it was a text from Jane. Hope toi made it accueil okay, If toi didn't I'm sorry, I need toi to forget my number, don't call me don't text me don't send me and email, because like I a dit before. I'm done with you. I put my phone down and knocked over my raiser blade I picked it up and pressed it to my risk.
May 19 2010 Monday 8:08
I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

sorry it was so long Hope toi liked it commentaire and rate just to let yall know it's not real

Nice-Guy, Rennerocks and 5 others like this

SweetKittyNikki I like it!! u should rite more! :))

rose12345 I loved it!!! I agree with SweetKittyNikki you should write more. :D

NeeNee14 This is really good! Jane's a bitch..she lost her whole family...She only lost her brother and when she gets mad she uses it against her....she acts like she was the only one who suffered..at least her parents are still alive

Jamie38459 Wow, that was so far the longest article I have ever read....

SweetKittyNikki U didnt like it Jamie38459?

bri-marie [i]Nothing is harder then losing the one you love. The One person who understands you the most, The one who give anything to keep you safe and happy even if that means losing their own life to save yours. I learned this the hard way, When a year ago today, I lost my parents, my brother and my sister, in a house fire.[/i] This is a little confusing. You (she) goes from talking about loosing "one person" to talking about loosing her whole family (well, not literally her whole family. You know what I mean). Was she only close to one person in her family? [i]I didn't answer I just stood there with my head down. Aunt Maggie stood there for awhile, then turned and left the room.[/i] Aunt Maggie doesn't really seem to care about what Naomi is going through. [i]May 19 2010 Monday 7:00[/i] You've already told us what the date was. You don't have to [i]keep[/i] telling us; especially when it's only a few 'hours' after the last time. [i]it was Jane.[/i] And Jane is . . . ? [i]"Are you ever going to stop were that Damn hoodie?"[/i] What hoodie? What does it look like? Does she not wash it; is that why Jane is upset about it? [i]Jane stared the car, Then pulled over,[/i] When did they start driving? [i]"Naomi I love you and all but you got to stop fill sorry for yourself, there's nothing you can do, it wasn't your fault it's not like you caused the stupid fire."[/i] Were you going for making Jane the biggest bitch in history? [i]May 19 2010 8:01 am Monday[/i] Yes, we know. You told us this three paragraphs ago. Why don't you just not put in the date? You don't even really need the time, since only an 'hour' or so passes until you tell us again. [i]I felt something.[/i] Butterflies? Her stomach somersaulting? Hiccups? Nausea? Hunger? What? [i]The rest of the school day went by quicker then I'm use too.[/i] How/in what way? [i]The whole time in study hall and at lunch i could fill his eyes on me.[/i] I'm assuming that she and Alec are friends? Other wise, why would she accept a ride from him and not be creeped out by him staring constantly? [i]do you know what his last words were too me?" I didn't answer her, "He told me he loved me."[/i] She makes it seem like a bad thing. If that isn't what you were going for (or maybe it is, since Jane is nasty) it really needs re-wording. [i]"Look na na[/i] 'Na na' is a very odd nickname for 'Naomi.' It reminds me of what I used to call my great-grandmother, which probably isn't the visual you want for your teenage protagonist. Did it spring up from some private joke between the two of them or does everyone call her 'na na'? Why is this the only time in the entire chapter that it's used? [i]I stopped, I didn't know what to do.[/i] Is she stupid? Schools all over have fire-drills at an alarming rate (my high school has about eleven throughout the entire year). Plus, common sense would tell her to follow everyone out of the building. She can't smell smoke, feel heat, or see the fire so there really isn't a reason for her to freeze up like this. On a side-note, there really isn't a reason for students to be running around without teachers supervising. It's [i]why[/i] they have fire-drills - so the students and teachers know what to do when the fire-alarm goes off unplanned (or there's a legitimate fire). [i]There was shadows all around me, ever thing stared spinning. I sat down,[/i] Why? [i]I got lost in his eyes aging filling that same filling I felt aging. that same strange filling, Alec helped me sit up.[/i] What? I have no idea what you're (she's) trying to say here. [i]I just don't like when people touch me.[/i] She didn't seem to care when he picked her up and carried her away. [i]May 19 2010 3:30 am Monday[/i] Still not needed. [i]I put my hoddie on.[/i] She was wearing it when Jane picked her up that morning. When did she take it off? Unless you meant she put the hood up? [i]my aunt wasn't home yet[/i] Then why was she going to call her? [i]Hope you made it home okay, If you didn't I'm sorry, I need you to forget my number, don't call me don't text me don't send me and email, because like I said before. I'm done with you.[/i] Jane is bipolar. . [i]May 19 2010 Monday 8:08[/i] Still not needed. [i]I closed my eyes and fell asleep.[/i] Standing up in the bathroom? Over all, it's very confusing. You're seriously lacking in the spelling, sentence patterns and punctuation and, in many cases, it becomes hard to decipher what you're trying to say. You have almost no descriptions of anything. What do Jane, Alec, Aunt Maggie, and Naomi look like? What does the school look/sound/feel like? Telling us the date and time doesn't really serve a purpose. Nothing major is happening and there only hours apart. I'm not sure whether or not you meant to make Jane to be a bipolar bitch or not. She doesn't seem to know what she thinks about Naomi, nor does she seem to care that her parents were killed. The fact that she isn't even trying to help Naomi or sympathize with her tells the readers that she isn't a very good friend. Alec seems creepy; he only says two words this entire chapter, but he's always around to give Naomi a ride and stare at her (which, it's weird that Naomi doesn't seem to think anything of Alec, whom she hardly has any contact with, is doing this). It also seems to cliché that, for no reason, Naomi is having “feelings” about Alec for no reason. I think you have a good idea, but it just needs a lot of work.

3

The first 3 chapters of my book- Flame Boy

posted by coolie

Jason: blonde spiky hair, green eyes, wearing his favori guitare chemise for almost three days straight, and he’s a teenager, but a rather short one. He has orange braces that are spotted easily when he smiles. Jason has an arm that can oddly twist all the way around in a
perfect circle. One of the strangest things about him is a black thing in the shape of a flame on his left leg. People think it’s a poorly drawn drawing, but he was born with it, and as he got older it grew with him.

Jason was sitting par the fireplace watching the flames blow from side to side. His eyes liked to find themselves,...

Stardom - Chapter 1 - Letters From accueil

posted by Vampiyaa

"IDIOT!" the King screeched. Toyo flinched as if the King had struck him.
"DO toi KNOW WHAT YOU'VE DONE?" he continued to yell angrily.
"The Vampire Society figured out that Aiko was at X Aacademy," Toyo a dit quietly. "So I sent her away."
"Without the protection of other vampires," the King hissed. "Suppose they find out where she is now. Who will protect her? She's as good as dead now!" The King sighed irritably and strode towards the door.
"Inform the Society that I will not be available for the suivant year," he a dit coldly. "And this time, don't mess it up." The King strode out of the...

Hells Outlaw -- Chapter 16

posted by HouseMindFreak

Chapter 16

A loud noise woke Bone from his sleep. Becoming plus alert he felt a sharp pain in his neck from laying his head over after falling asleep on his boutique couch.
Opening one dry eye he could see Jax rustling around the boutique benches and he appeared to have his shotgun strapped to his back and somehow he got some old work boots over his injured foot.
He looked like he was prepared for battle.
“The hell toi doin’ preparin’ for war?” he said.
“No, goin’ huntin’. Koda hunting”
Bone was wide awake now.
“You are not going to kill my nephew,” he a dit forcefully stopping Jax in...

1

Takaya Dreams chapter 1

posted by Skitty_Love

"Takaya's grades have been decreasing, there is a chance she may not make high school suivant year.." Ms. Mitsuba says calmly to my mother. "Takaya! Is this true? Why didn't toi tell me toi were failing school?" She snaps at me, who was sitting suivant to her on the cushioned chairs placed across the marble desk. I silently shrug, looking down at the patterned carpet. "Tell me!" She continues to order. "I just-" "Your father is gonna be furious!" My mom cuts me off of my sentence. Thats when I had snapped. "Quit talking! Let go of my now!" I cry, my voice thundering. Ms. Mitsuba grabs my wrist,...

Unforgivable Ch. 6

posted by para-scence

When I woke up, all the windows were covered in snow, surrounding me, isolating me from others. My stomach growled, but I didn't want to leave. I feared if I didn't get a job, I'd lose everything. I got out of the car, still wearing my clothes from yesterday, which was nothing but jeans, converse, and a black tortue neck. Not wanting to waste valuable gas, I walked around town. My stomach growled again, and the thing inside me kicked a series of blows for a couple seconds.

The buildings here were tall, and far away I could see the new, fancy skyscrapers. But here, the buildings were old and...

Just something I tweaked at for a little while....criticism please!

posted by dramarama

Masquerade

Brightly colored masks
Lined up on the wall.
Waiting to take part
In the mascarade ball.
Smoothly shaped plastic
Fitted to flesh,
Each of their disguises
Much like the rest.
Hiding the scars,
Unsightly disfigurements,
Ways they are marred,
Ways they are different.
Each of them has one,
Hiding the truth,
Things that are ugly,
Battles of youth.
Smothering plastic
Hinders my breath,
Tightly laced ribbon
Cuts into my head.
"Just take it off"
The insistent voice says.
"Then toi could breath.
You'd be free again.
Remember the days
When life was so simple.
The whole world was good,
And yours soft and simple.
Those...

Psychoanalysis: Chapter 3

posted by Insight357

    Grey pulled away from the house. I sat inside on the couch. Our house had deep brown walls, and light brown hard-wood floors. There were knick-knacks everywhere. Pictures of Grey’s family hung on the walls. None of mine, though, I prefer to keep mine in my suitcase.
    It may seem odd, but I keep all my belongings in my suitcase. I’m afraid if I unpack something bad will happen.
    The brown canapé I sat on, and musty smell of the house grew old on me. I walked outside to the front porch. It was one of the nice, white, wrap-around...

3

Unforgivable Ch. 1

posted by para-scence

My whole body was trembling. I sat up in my bed, the covers everywhere and messed up. My cœur, coeur was pounding and there was a ringing noise in my ears. I scanned the room for him, and even when I saw he wasn't here, I still couldn't release my fears.

I had been raped.

Trying to keep calm, I grabbed my clothes off the floor, my chemise had a rip in it, so I grabbed another chemise from my closet. I ran a brush through my hair, getting out all the knots. Then I decided I couldn't live with myself this way and decided to take a shower. I turned the water on to blistering hot, and I scrubbed my entire...

1

Hells Outlaw - Chapter 14

posted by HouseMindFreak

Chapter 14

The loup did not déplacer but Koda was already on the attack. His teeth grew into their long and dangerous bite, the claws tore through his fingers and black fourrure sprouted from his arms to his hands.
Before Iah knew it, Koda was on him but he was well prepared for the young Skinwalker.

Why do are they always go for a fight first? He thought to himself biting into Koda’s neck careful not puncture his skin.
Iah was much plus powerful than Koda expected as the loup easily threw him and pinned him to the ground.
Koda growled and bit at him but Iah lunged for his neck and locking his jaws around...

l’amour is Wild: Chapter 24

posted by sawfan13

Lilith, still La Reine des Neiges from the question her beloved Howl had asked her. She so badly wanted to unleash an answer, but couldn't.

I really wanted to tell him. Yeah, I want to marry him, but I cannot speak at all. I started to breathe deeply and my voice was dry, so he could barely hear me when I said,"Yes. I will be happy to marry you." Howl and Debbie couldn't understand me, as tears started to roll down my face. Odd, whenever I get emotional ou excited, ou both like in this situation right here, my throat dries up like Beatrix Kiddo's did after digging herself up after being buried alive par Bill's...

1

"i will not marry toi " introduction

posted by peaceanddisney

this is my first story that i made on here i'm still decideing if i want to make plus of this book ou not i am still decideing on a tittle name.please do not hesitate to criticize i need it.thank toi <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 I Taylor Ann Smith was not happy.I was very mad.How dare them! i thought angrily to myself.how dare them decide who i marry!.this all happened when i came down for breakfast."Good morning mother,good morning farther."i a dit happily.Mother was cooking eggs and pain grillé while father was waiting."Hello darling"said Mother cheerfully as she sat a plate of eggs and pain grillé in front of me."good morning taylor" farther answered. his plate."what's happening today?"i asked still eating."well.. mom started looked unconfertable...we decided who toi were to marry"."What!" i cried almost chocking on my food.

1

Life Goes On Part 5

posted by MissMuffin38

Marissa opened her eyes, half asleep, half awake. It was 8 o’clock in the morning and she felt hungry. She clambered out of bed, rubbing her eyes so she could focus on things properly. Olivia was already out of her bed, and it seemed like she was downstairs. Marissa walked down the stairs to find her, rubbing her eyes once again. As she entered the kitchen, she saw Olivia sitting on one of the wooden chairs, placed around the table. As she walked over, Olivia looked up, and gave her a weak smile. Marissa could tell something was wrong. “Where’s everyone else?” Marissa asked, puzzled....

The tragedy of Sumiko Yamakawa

posted by samuraibond005

Young Sumiko Yamakawa, a modern samurai in training, and no plus than 15 years of age. Like most samurai in training she carries around a wooden sword, a bokken, and a dagger, a Tanto. Sumiko’s older brother, Itsuki, was a samurai, one who had recently graduated from the Shinto Ryu School of swordsmanship; not only was he trained to use a sword but a short 4 foot staff as well.
It was the jour Itsuki was to be promoted to the rank of a samurai, the only thing he ever wanted, naturally his sister Sumiko was able to attend. Sumiko was the youngest of her family, Takashi...

Pretender

posted by Insight357

Glance the other way
Rip your cœur, coeur out
I just don't care anymore

You're useless
And uncaring
toi know nothing!
Yet toi pretend toi do
You're a pretender

A pretender is just a liar in disguise
A pretender is a faker
A pretender hides
A pretender is a maker
Of the dark abyss

toi told me once
I told toi twice
Now what?
Do we forget the past?
Live for the future?
ou remember and continue on our path?

...Decisions...Decisions...
Left ou right?
Up ou down?
Wrong ou right?
Please give me the answer
For I do not know
Right and wrong any longer

1

Blind: Chapter 1

posted by Insight357

Yes, it was happening (again). Seventeen an old Wyatt Thomas was being chased par a pair of vampyres. Great. He was going to be late to school for the fourth time that week. He was sure his best friend Elizabeth would cover for him, as she'd done the other four times this week.
He spun around with inhuman speed. Blue flames leapt out of his fingers toward the vampyres. When the flames made contact the vamps flew back into the wall. Wyatt quickly ran out of the ally, and all the way to school.
Wyatt, suprisingly, got to school on time, early in fact. Even Elizabeth wasn't there yet. So, he...

4

l’amour is Wild:Chapter 7

posted by sawfan13

I couldn't sleep very well, even if I was cuddled suivant to Howl. I couldn't help think of the following questions: Is this wrong? Is it bad to l’amour someone that is so much kinder and a better person than your fiance, yet your parents are still forcing toi to marry the horrible fiance? Is it wrong for a woman raised with people and society to fall in l’amour with someone raised par animaux and swings on vines. I kept thinking of Adam. Grrr! I can't stand him anymore. I remember the last thing he a dit to me,"You won't survive there without me! I'm your everything! toi can't hide from me weakling!"...

2

l’amour is Wild: Chapter 6

posted by sawfan13

Howl leaned down, his lips almost touching mine, when suddenly we heard screaming. He jumped off of the elephant, leaving me behind while I'm struggling to get off. It wasn't a human scream. plus like a baby monkey ou something. I got off of Tahji, and landed on my butt, and walked towards the bushes and leaves to where Howl went to. I see him talking to a baby monkey. It looked like the same type of monkey on "Friends". I looked at Howl and said,"Hey look! Ross has a monkey! Ha! I always wanted to say that! Hahahaha!" Howl looks at me confused, and said,"Where?" I thought of what I a dit was...

The Old Circus Chapter One

posted by avatarsbigstfan

Hi, AnnabethKatara here!( Old account temporarily suspended because I'm eleven:() Anyway I've been working pretty hard on this and I don't trust Fanfiction.net enough for some good critisism, I l’amour fanpop anyway... Hope toi enjoy!!! :)
Chapter One
Demyan
“Just wait until toi see the auditorium, Demyan.” my fourteen an old sister Anya blabbed,” It’s amazing how much it looks like the Globe theater.”
“ Mmmhmmm…..” I said, trying to drown out her annoying speech par flipping open the windows and slamming them back down.
It was bad enough our mom had forced me to spend half my...

Hell's Outlaw Chapter 6

posted by HouseMindFreak

1st chapter: link

2nd chapter: link

3rd chapter: link

4th chapter: link

5th chapter: link

Chapter 6

“What?”

Twice in one jour he’s had people saying strange things to him; Jax and his drunken dream and now a loup skin wearin’ hobo talking about a creator.
Something just wasn’t right.

“Ever wondered why your family has treated toi as an outcast? Why toi weren’t regarded as normal?” the stranger asked.

How did this guy know about how I was treated? Koda wondered.

“Yeah but it’s because I’m, oh I don’t know, a pain in the ass?”

Even at a time like this he always had to give his two...

My Unamed Story.

posted by boomboombunni

This was the jour Andrew's parents dumped him at a hotel with one million dollars. The hotel would be his new home. His new room was rumored to be haunted, which excited him, but it was going to be lonely without any children. When he walked in, he could tell it was a themed hotel. Everyone was dressed in 18th century clothes. He had two dumpy little bags of period clothes, and his money was in his pocket. He paid a man to take his things to his room, then he went exploring. Mainly, it was just hallways with older people, but, he saw a girl who looked about his age. When she turned to look...