écriture Article: Learning to let go ch. one

7

posted by Funnygirl77

Leting go of the ones toi l’amour is like falling out of an airplane with no para shoot

Leting go of the ones you love is like falling out of an airplane with no para shoot

Nothing is harder then losing the one toi love. The One person who understands toi the most, The one who give anything to keep toi sûr, sans danger and happy even if that means losing their own life to save yours. I learned this the hard way, When a an il y a today, I Lost my parents, my brother and my sister, in a house fire.

May 19 2010 Monday 12:01 am
It's been a an since I Lost my family, and it hasn't been any easier. I have nightmares about what happen, ever nightmare is the same. It starts off with me being with my family, Everyone is laughing and having a good time, then out of no where, there faces start to melt off It gets really hot and then I wake up. Of course I wasn't there, I was at my Friends house, but I still fill responsible.

I sat up, then looked at the clock it was 12:12 I laid my head back down on my oreiller and closed my eyes in no time I was back asleep, having that same dream over and over aging. I awoke with a headache My aunt knocked on the door. "Naomi, Honey, are toi awake?" I got out of the lit and opened the door. Aunt Maggie stepped in side "are toi okay sweetie?" I didn't answer I just stood there with my head down. Aunt Maggie stood there for awhile, then turned and left the room.

May 19 2010 Monday 7:00
There was a Knock on the front door, I went down stairs, it was Jane. She looked at me then shook her head. "Are toi ever going to stop were that Damn hoodie?" I looked at her, then grabbed my bag and headed out the door. She followed behind me, I opened the car door took out my I-pod and turned it up. Jane stared the car, Then pulled over, I looked at her. "What are toi doing?!" I asked.

"Naomi I l’amour toi and all but toi got to stop fill sorry for yourself, there's nothing toi can do, it wasn't your fault it's not like toi caused the stupid fire." I looked at her, her words cut like Knifes, she looked back at me. I looked away, "Could toi just drive." Jane unlocked the doors, "Get out." I looked at her "J-" she shook her head, "Get out"

I got out the car, and Jane drove away, I started to walk to school, but then had to stop because the tears wouldn't stop coming. Some one drove past me, then backed up, they rolled down the window. "Get in" he said, it was Alec the only emo kid at my school. I opened the door and go in. I still had my I-pod in and my tears had turned my eyes red. I could fill his eyes on me, so I kept my head down.

May 19 2010 8:01 am Monday
I went to my accueil room class and, put my head down, Jane sat beside me. I see toi made it to school, I turned away I couldn't let her see how much she hurt me. Jane just tsked at me, then turned to talk to other people. I could fill some ones eyes one me, so I looked up to see who it was, it was Alec, our eyes meet, and I felt something. I couldn't stop looking in to his blue eyes, and he didn't stop looking at me. The teacher came in and Alec turned to the front. I sighed and took my ear phones out.

The rest of the school jour went par quicker then I'm use too. The whole time in study hall and at lunch i could fill his eyes on me. I meet Jane par my locker, before the last period of the day, She looked at me. "Naomi, I'm sorry I was just Mad, toi aren't the only one who Lost some one toi l’amour lets not forget toi aunt, and what about me, I was in l’amour with your brother, do toi know what his last words were too me?" I didn't answer her, "He told me he loved me."

The cloche, bell rung, and I walked away, Jane walked beside me. "Look na na I a dit I'm sorry." I looked at her, I nodded, "thanks Jane for what toi said, but I'm just not ready to let go." Jane walked away, then turned around "well when toi do let me know." She went in to her class, I started to walk to my class, Then out of no where the feu alarm rung. Everyone was run out of classes I stopped, I didn't know what to do.

There was shadows all around me, ever thing stared spinning. I sat down, The feu alarm kept getting louder and louder. Some one stood in front of me, They grabbed my shoulder and lifted me up. They crawled me like a baby, then we were out side, I looked up, and Alec was above me. His eyes locked on mine. I couldn't pull away, I got Lost in his eyes aging filling that same filling I felt aging. that same strange filling, Alec helped me sit up.

Then I pulled away from under his hand, I didn't mean to come off ungrateful I just don't like when people touch me. Alec scooted away, to give me some air, when he thought i was okay, he came over to me to help me stand. Once the school was cleared, everyone went back in. Jane came rushing over to me, when she saw me. she gave me a hug, "Your okay, i didn't see toi come out, so I thought." I pushed away from her, she stopped talking.

Then said, "You know,what Naomi. This is to much, I tried to stay being your friend, but I just can't handle your Behavior, your just to much." She walked away, I could fill his eyes on me I turned around Then looked away quickly.

May 19 2010 3:30 am Monday
Jane left with out me so I stared to walk, It would be 4:30 when I get home. It was about to rain so I put my hoddie on. Then it started to thunder so I took my phone out and was about to Call my aunt, but then Alec pulled up beside me. He opened the door I looked at him, being careful not to met his eyes. Then after a while I got in.

When I got home, I went up stairs and took a douche my aunt wasn't accueil yet my phone rung, it was a text from Jane. Hope toi made it accueil okay, If toi didn't I'm sorry, I need toi to forget my number, don't call me don't text me don't send me and email, because like I a dit before. I'm done with you. I put my phone down and knocked over my raiser blade I picked it up and pressed it to my risk.
May 19 2010 Monday 8:08
I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

sorry it was so long Hope toi liked it commentaire and rate just to let yall know it's not real

Nice-Guy, Rennerocks and 5 others like this

SweetKittyNikki I like it!! u should rite more! :))

rose12345 I loved it!!! I agree with SweetKittyNikki you should write more. :D

NeeNee14 This is really good! Jane's a bitch..she lost her whole family...She only lost her brother and when she gets mad she uses it against her....she acts like she was the only one who suffered..at least her parents are still alive

Jamie38459 Wow, that was so far the longest article I have ever read....

SweetKittyNikki U didnt like it Jamie38459?

bri-marie [i]Nothing is harder then losing the one you love. The One person who understands you the most, The one who give anything to keep you safe and happy even if that means losing their own life to save yours. I learned this the hard way, When a year ago today, I lost my parents, my brother and my sister, in a house fire.[/i] This is a little confusing. You (she) goes from talking about loosing "one person" to talking about loosing her whole family (well, not literally her whole family. You know what I mean). Was she only close to one person in her family? [i]I didn't answer I just stood there with my head down. Aunt Maggie stood there for awhile, then turned and left the room.[/i] Aunt Maggie doesn't really seem to care about what Naomi is going through. [i]May 19 2010 Monday 7:00[/i] You've already told us what the date was. You don't have to [i]keep[/i] telling us; especially when it's only a few 'hours' after the last time. [i]it was Jane.[/i] And Jane is . . . ? [i]"Are you ever going to stop were that Damn hoodie?"[/i] What hoodie? What does it look like? Does she not wash it; is that why Jane is upset about it? [i]Jane stared the car, Then pulled over,[/i] When did they start driving? [i]"Naomi I love you and all but you got to stop fill sorry for yourself, there's nothing you can do, it wasn't your fault it's not like you caused the stupid fire."[/i] Were you going for making Jane the biggest bitch in history? [i]May 19 2010 8:01 am Monday[/i] Yes, we know. You told us this three paragraphs ago. Why don't you just not put in the date? You don't even really need the time, since only an 'hour' or so passes until you tell us again. [i]I felt something.[/i] Butterflies? Her stomach somersaulting? Hiccups? Nausea? Hunger? What? [i]The rest of the school day went by quicker then I'm use too.[/i] How/in what way? [i]The whole time in study hall and at lunch i could fill his eyes on me.[/i] I'm assuming that she and Alec are friends? Other wise, why would she accept a ride from him and not be creeped out by him staring constantly? [i]do you know what his last words were too me?" I didn't answer her, "He told me he loved me."[/i] She makes it seem like a bad thing. If that isn't what you were going for (or maybe it is, since Jane is nasty) it really needs re-wording. [i]"Look na na[/i] 'Na na' is a very odd nickname for 'Naomi.' It reminds me of what I used to call my great-grandmother, which probably isn't the visual you want for your teenage protagonist. Did it spring up from some private joke between the two of them or does everyone call her 'na na'? Why is this the only time in the entire chapter that it's used? [i]I stopped, I didn't know what to do.[/i] Is she stupid? Schools all over have fire-drills at an alarming rate (my high school has about eleven throughout the entire year). Plus, common sense would tell her to follow everyone out of the building. She can't smell smoke, feel heat, or see the fire so there really isn't a reason for her to freeze up like this. On a side-note, there really isn't a reason for students to be running around without teachers supervising. It's [i]why[/i] they have fire-drills - so the students and teachers know what to do when the fire-alarm goes off unplanned (or there's a legitimate fire). [i]There was shadows all around me, ever thing stared spinning. I sat down,[/i] Why? [i]I got lost in his eyes aging filling that same filling I felt aging. that same strange filling, Alec helped me sit up.[/i] What? I have no idea what you're (she's) trying to say here. [i]I just don't like when people touch me.[/i] She didn't seem to care when he picked her up and carried her away. [i]May 19 2010 3:30 am Monday[/i] Still not needed. [i]I put my hoddie on.[/i] She was wearing it when Jane picked her up that morning. When did she take it off? Unless you meant she put the hood up? [i]my aunt wasn't home yet[/i] Then why was she going to call her? [i]Hope you made it home okay, If you didn't I'm sorry, I need you to forget my number, don't call me don't text me don't send me and email, because like I said before. I'm done with you.[/i] Jane is bipolar. . [i]May 19 2010 Monday 8:08[/i] Still not needed. [i]I closed my eyes and fell asleep.[/i] Standing up in the bathroom? Over all, it's very confusing. You're seriously lacking in the spelling, sentence patterns and punctuation and, in many cases, it becomes hard to decipher what you're trying to say. You have almost no descriptions of anything. What do Jane, Alec, Aunt Maggie, and Naomi look like? What does the school look/sound/feel like? Telling us the date and time doesn't really serve a purpose. Nothing major is happening and there only hours apart. I'm not sure whether or not you meant to make Jane to be a bipolar bitch or not. She doesn't seem to know what she thinks about Naomi, nor does she seem to care that her parents were killed. The fact that she isn't even trying to help Naomi or sympathize with her tells the readers that she isn't a very good friend. Alec seems creepy; he only says two words this entire chapter, but he's always around to give Naomi a ride and stare at her (which, it's weird that Naomi doesn't seem to think anything of Alec, whom she hardly has any contact with, is doing this). It also seems to cliché that, for no reason, Naomi is having “feelings” about Alec for no reason. I think you have a good idea, but it just needs a lot of work.

5

Let Us Try.

posted by hgfan5602

When will this end?
Mass shootings
Terrorist attacks
Police brutality

They say it's just a gun control problem
They say it cannot be fixed
I say the problem is deeper
I say there is hope

When will this end?
Income inequality
Veterans living on the streets, penniless,
Dying par their own hands everyday.

They say this world can change for the better
But nothing has changed...
And I truly do fear
Nothing ever will

When will l’amour start?
The jour we offer a hand to the fallen
Instead of cringing back in shock
And running away

When will our world change?
The jour we l’amour too much to kill
The jour others' pain is our pain
The jour we act instead of just talking about it

"It's impossible"
"We're too broken to be mended"
"It's a hopeless battle"
I say, let us try.

The jour toi Slipped Away (Part 2)

posted by NagisaTomoya

Remember to please post feedback in the comments!

The jour toi Slipped Away: Middle
I do not know what caused me to do it. I stood with my son in my arms, holding his head to my chest as embers flew and people scurried to put out the feu I caused. I had lit Euphoria’s house on fire. No one needed it anymore, for I was taking Thomas to Yun Gong and Euphoria was… Well, toi know. I watch embers float par and one lands of my pale cheek, burning it ever so slightly. It was only plus pain to feel. Thomas was shaking as if he was cold, though the...

Dimension Jumper Ch 6

posted by jedigirl

"Caleb? How? What are? Your a dimension jumper?" I ask, finally able to complete a sentence.
"Yeah I am. How are toi even here? Your not suppose to know yet," He stares at me.
"Same as toi apparently. Dimension jumping?" I guess.
"Yeah, I got that, but how are toi even in here. No one jumps in ou out of here. toi have to be brought."
"So I've been told." I say. He looks at me. "And what do toi mean I'm not suppose to know?" I eye him accusingly. He looks guilty, like he just gave away a secret.
"You weren't supposed to know I can jump until later. Like Two years from now. When toi found out you...

Dimension-Jumper Ch 4

posted by jedigirl

I pull up to our house with dad right behind me. He rushes me into the house like we're being followed.
"Don't worry Kodi. We'll fix this," He tells me.
"I don't want this fixed Dad! I want answers. I'm tried of lying to myself. Telling myself that they're just daydreams, when clearly they're not! Don't keep me ignorant anymore. Please," I plead. For years I had been complacent about his silence, but not anymore, because now I have information and I will use it.
"Sweetheart, toi not knowing is the safest place to be right now. Until toi have full control."
"Control of what Dad? I can't control...

1

my unfinished story (no titre yet) Chapter 1

posted by coolcatsRus123

Chapter one: unexpected things
“This is so much fun!” Alia screamed with excitement. Alia was flying over the greenest forest she ever seen! It was bigger than her families’ garden. (Alia’s family had a gigantic garden, and a lot of money to purchase plants) She wisped through the green trees feeling the refreshing air flow through her long brown wavy hair, making it a humongous mess. She saw something, a shadowy figure. “What’s that, who are you” Alia yelled. The small shadowy thing came closer. It didn’t reply. “Hello?”...

Beyond empathetic borders

posted by Abyssail

A shapeless void. Interrupted only par the occasional shooting star. Every now and then toi can see colour flare into existence but as soon as toi notice it, it vanishes and the void returns. Sparks. Vessels. Charges and Impulses. Back and forth and back and forth across the void. Basic, baseless functions repeated to death and beyond. The system is all they know, all they're aware of. Incapable of comprehending the couture of convalescence conveyed about their crafted construction. Barricades exist, of course. Occasionally one of the roads will shut down and the vessels will be stuck in a “traffic...

4

Can someone please read and tell me what toi think?

posted by para-scence

This is just the first 2 chapters; I don't know what I'm going to do with it much, but I want to get opinions on what I have so far. Thank you.

"How much longer?" Rena whined, her head on her desk. Her voice was just a raspy whisper, quiet enough to not draw the attention of Frau Abendroth, our study hall supervisor and Rena's German teacher. I looked at my cellphone.

"Three plus minutes," I whispered.

"Kill me," she muttered.

"Halt deine verdammte Mündung," Frau Abendroth grumbled from her desk, not taking her eyes away from the magazine she was reading. Rena looked up and glared at her. I held...

A dream come true

posted by gerybarzaka

Hello! This is my first post on this page, but I wanted to share a short story I wrote. I hope toi like it!

They say that when toi hit the bottom there is nowhere to go but up. I didn’t believe that. I was standing on solid rock and no one could convince me that it gets better. My dream of becoming a writer was shattered into little pieces. My cœur, coeur with it. I Lost everything. I could barely make enough money to eat, let alone pay my rent. There was no passion in my life. My grandfather had left me everything he had and I wasted it. All of it. I was living in a lousy one room apartment. All...

1

Together 4Ever (Part One)

posted by E-Scope90

Okay, this is my oversized story. I just really hope toi enjoy. I originally posté this last year, but for some reason, it got deleted. So I'm re-posting it. Enjoy.

The Streets of Manhattan
9:36 AM
I was running away. Running away from it all. I just couldn't stand it anymore. All the abuse, the fights....I couldn't take it.

I was literally running away from these guys. They were trying to rape me. They were chasing me with actual knives. I knew I wasn't going to survive. I was running in heels...I wasn't going to live. I wasn't going to live!

"Get away from me, toi ra-"
I tripped onto the streets....

Chapter two of my story

posted by misscrazel

If I put: **** it means they a dit a cuss word I don't feel comfortable writing.

Brianna was running through the woods, branches whipping her face. She glanced behind her. A young woman with long black hair was pursuing her. She shot an Arrow at the woman but she dodged and it flew right passed her. The woman grabbed her hair and pulled her closer.

"You can't get away can toi Blondie?" she asked. her breath stank of poisson and blood.

Brianna struggled to get away.

"Your a tough one aren't you?" she asked, "Well I'll spare your mother if toi stop it."

"I don't believe you," a dit Brianna.

"Well than,"...

Chapter one of a story... That doesn't have a name. Yet.

posted by tsmith120

My name is Timothy Roger Cole III. This is plus ou less my story.
Well, mine and about a half dozen others. So for the sake of convenience I'm going to tell this story to toi from a third person perspective, and not always narrate it from my own point of view - since I wasn't present for some of the important stuff, and it'd be easier to tell toi what happened than recount the tedious discussions on this stuff that I had to go through to get anything remotely resembling a full picture of the events.
I hope toi appreciate the things I go through for you. Anyhow, let us begin.

Timothy Roger Cole...

1

Cerial Killer On The Loose

posted by JellyPopper

WARNING MAY BE INNAPROPRIATE FOR KIDS UNDER 10 don't worry not real :P Chance Manner was a college student who was sent to an asylum for attempting to bite a mans leg off after using basalts without anyone knowing he took them. He has only tried once to grow big finger nails and slit his own neck open. So they put him in a plus extreme room where someone has recently escaped. there was a rip on the side of the mur of foam, he found it and there was a hole that let underground then back up to the outside world. He made it outside and the world just got a whole lot plus dangerous. His first...

orange a Memory (a poem)

posted by Rae-Ash

It’s the color of you
toi always wore it
It’s the color we shared
As we hid form them

With it we showed our true selves,
Though no one cared
Our orange book bags
Saved us from some pain

We protected each other
But it wasn’t enough
We were like two orange crayons
When everyone else was green

Then toi left me alone,
All I had was our color orange
As they hit me
I took peace in knowing
toi were in the orange field in the sky
toi always a dit was there.

The orange of the sun set
Is your smile
Even though toi left too soon

Orange…

Now it’s my color
My way of remembering you
Now I am the lone orange in the rainbow
Without toi here

I protect my own
Though I wish toi were here

Now orange is my color
A color for toi bravery
A color for my survival

orange will forever be our color
Even though death took toi away

Forever orange for you,
Sweet Cassidy.

1

Nightfall #1 (COMPLETE REWRITE) Chapter Eleven

posted by adamk

CHAPTER ELEVEN:
OCTOBER 30, 1995:
The sun rises over Crystal Falls; the chill of the autumn wind fills the air outside. vampires hate the cold. As I ponder what to do, Danny lies asleep on the couch, still unconscious. The effects of my blood have taken a toll on him. I ponder whether to continue my investigation at the high-school. Doing so would put Harold at great risk. Yet, somehow I think brochet has plans for the students. I look at the calendar. It is the thirtieth, the jour before Halloween. Halloween, the anniversary of the jour I made my first kill. I reminisce once plus into my past.
ALBANY...

Mana and the Pet, Chaper 2

posted by queenpalm

Chapter 2
"Please! Please! Please!" I begged. My parents exchanged glances, then looked back at me.
"You want a lemur, Mana?" Mr. Walker asked.
"Yes! Please! I'll take really good care of her!" I pleaded.
"How much would it cost to take care of it?" Mrs. Walker asked.
"Well, they eat fruit, and not much because they're so small. Plus, this maki, lémurien was circus trained, so she shouldn't need anything special."
"What about health, and the veterinarians?"
"I'll turn 12 in a week, so I can babysit plus often. I can use that money to pay for the vet's bill," I said, really having no idea. I just agreed to...

loup Blood Chapter One

posted by StarWarrior

CHAPTER ONE
    “I’ve got it!” Shade squeaked.
    “Hurry!” émeraude barked, trying to keep up with him.
    “Corner it there, quick!” Kitmira barked.
    Shade turned the rabbit toward the thick thorn bushes. It was getting tired. Shade pounced; he landed perfectly on its back.
    “Bite it!” Neko commanded.
    Emerald lunged vers l'avant, vers l’avant and sunk her teeth into its neck.
    “Good catch!” Mamma called.
    “Did we hunt...

7

The Beauty of Tragedy

posted by LaDispute

She was obsessed with the idea that tragedy is beauty and death is immortality.

He would watch her when she opened her mouth in class, watch the way she flashed smiles when she spoke. He swore to commit the crinkles at the corners of her eyes to memory, the freckled valleys lit up par her eyes.

He soon found that he could be the cause of those valleys, a Creator building up his own world from the base of her narrow satisfaction. She soon found that his convictions in tandem with hers had the power to endlessly pursue the edge of the universe in its expansion.

And when they first kissed that cold...

Pretty Little Nightmare Chapter 1

posted by Dreamcatcher26

Khloe, Caroline, a few other Friends and I flung ourselves down the rue to the hottest club in town devils lounge, I was thankful that the bouncers here were as dumb witted as everywhere else about fake ids.

Inside the club Icy, smoke lurked on the ground; coloured lights gave me a spontaneous rush of excitement. I looked at the seas of bodies that were grinding on the dance floor, an arm snaked around my waist before spinning me around to hold me in their grip.

'Scarlett bébés toi joining us tonight for a hit?'
I scoffed and pushed Eric of me.
‘Control your brother Khloe before the dog gets...

Character Idea: Darcel

posted by darkling_menace

(I have thought of a bunch of characters over the years, but since I suck at making stories for them to be in, I can only make the character itself with a bit of back story. Today is going to be the first jour that I'll be posting these characters on here, since this is the écriture club, and I don't want my mind to be cluttered with character ideas. This character came to me when I was rethinking an idea for an old character.)

Darcel was once the leader of a tribe of ancient humans in what is now known as modern England, he was a sorcerer who used his magic as an advantage over everyone else,...

Chapter 1 of Blaze.

posted by terra_rocker

Chapter one –
Unlike the last few months the last three days had broken out of the tedious routine my days had grown tired and used to. My jour took the same route as every other one that was until I had to montrer the new girl… Briara, where her locker was. Briara was cheerful and happy, dressed in an array of exotic bright colours that not only made me want to vomit but shield my eyes, her outfit an extreme contrast to my alternate altered clothing. My plain black vest top, freshly ripped into a V-neck with added buttons and a tie, matched only with skinny jeans in a dark grey. My dress style...