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This aléatoire photo contains anime, bande dessinée, manga, and dessin animé.

posted by Alma_
Chuck Norris Jokes

-Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

-Only Chuck Norris knows the true end of the movie Inception

-When Chuck Norris throws a boomarang it doesn't dare come back

-Do toi know how many push ups Chuck Norris has done? All of them

-Neil Armstrong never went to the moon for NASA, he was trying to run away from Chuck Norris

-Chuck Norris knows the letter after Z

-Chuck Norris was the alien who told the Egyptians how to invent the pyramid

-What's Chuck Norris' favori Number?....................CHUCK NORRIS

-Superman wears Chuck Norris underpants.

-When Chuck Norris falls out of a bateau he dosn't get wet the water gets Chuck Norrised

-Chuck Norris doesn't read books, he just stares them down until he gets the information he wants out of them.

-Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.

-Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
I got this off an e-mail from a friend, so this is not mine and I take no claim in it. Please don't do these things in real life, it's just for fun and a good laugh. And if toi do do these things (number 4 fo example), than I'm sorry but you're really dumb.

Enjoy!

__________________________________________________

6 Ways On How To Deal With requin Attacks:

1) DON'T SWIM IN THE SEA
More than 99% of requin attacks happen in large watermasses- also know as oceans. An easy way to tell if toi are in an ocean is to taste the water- it will taste like salt.

2) SWIM ALONGSIDE FAT PEOPLE
Make sure that there...
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THIS IS NOT MINE. I got it from Tumblr. x)

The following is an actual question donné on a université of Washington Chemistry mid-term:

The answer par one student was so ‘profound’ that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) ou endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) ou some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First,...
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posted by invadercalliope
I HOPE toi ENJOY!
dora!
boots!
come on dora!

do-do-do-do-dora!
do-do-do-do-dora!
do-do-do-do-dora!
do-do-do-do-dora!
lets go!
dora dora dora the explorer!
DORA!
boots and supercool exploradora!

we need your help!

grab your backpack!
lets go!
jump in!
vamonos!


toi can lead the way!

hey! hey!

do-do-dora!
do-d-dora!

swiper no swiping!
swiper no swiping! (oh man)

it;s dora the explorer!
--------------------------------------------------
dora dora
ven, ven
dora dora la exploradora
dale con el sol pequeña dora
vamos salta tu puedes niña
consulta a tu mapa
tutu dora tutu dora tutu dora
lets go
The End!
posted by cutiegirl01
01 Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
02 Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
03 Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
04 If toi can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If toi can't see Chuck Norris toi may be only secondes away from death.
05 Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony,...
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haut, retour au début 25 Ways To Drive Your Roommate Crazy

1. Every time toi wake up, start yelling, “Oh, my God! Where the
hell am I?!” and run around the room for a few minutes. Then go
back to bed. If yourroommate asks, say toi don’t know what
he/she is talking about.

2. Buy a plant. Sleep with it at night. Talk to it. After a few weeks,
start to argue with it loudly. Then yell, “I can’t live in the same
room with you,” storm out of the room and slam the door. Get rid
of the plant, but keep the pot. Refuse to discuss the plant ever
again.

3. Buy a Jack-in-the-box. Every day, turn the handle until the
clown...
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posted by catgirl140
79 Things to do in an Elevator (Soooo funny)

1. Crack open your mallette, porte-documents ou handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the mur without getting off.
3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him ou her to call toi Admiral.
5. Meow occasionally.
6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.
7. Say "DING!" at each floor.
8. Say "I...
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I'm Dreaming Of A Fat Christmas

It was Christmas Eve. Selena sat yet on her head, sipping slow eggnog.

She looked at the cute bateau hanging on the Christmas arbre and sighed. Last year, alex had hung it there, just before they looked at each other conversely and then fell into each other's arms and stood each other's hand.

If only I hadn't been so pretty, Selena thought, pouring a funny amount of rhum into her eggnog. Then alex might not have got so stupid and left me all alone at Christmas time. She wiped away a fast tear and held her head in her hand.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
1. If using a touch-tone, press aléatoire numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.

2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.

3. Use CB lingo where applicable.

4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.

5. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."

6. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.

7. Give them your address, exclaim "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.

8. Answer their questions with questions.

9. In your breathiest voice, tell them to cut the crap about nutrition and...
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posted by BellaCullen96
Act like toi know the order taker from somewhere. Say, "BedWetter’s Camp, right?"
Add extra letters to words, ex: pizza becomes pizzzzzzzaaaaaaa
After ordering, say, "I wonder what THIS button on the phone does." Simulate a cutoff.
Amuse the order taker with little-known facts about country music.
Answer their questions with questions.
Ask about pizza maintenance and repair.
Ask for a deal available somewhere else. (e.g., If phoning Domino's, ask for a Cheeser! Cheeser!)
Ask for chips/fries with everything!
Ask for extra homo-sapien
Ask for the guy who took your order last time.
Ask how many...
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sexy as fuck. *drools*
video
aléatoire
musique
added by someone_save_me
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added by someone_save_me
added by 050801090907
posted by amy36y
nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan
posted by hetaliaitaly
darker then light brighter then bright
nothing stands
but never lands
nothing i do ever makes me feel
nothing anyone does will make me real
im not really there and i dont care so why do i feel as lonely as air
something there but no one cares

just one thing that no one thinks is there
just something thats as quiet as death
im not there i never was not until
im ever loved
but i dont no one cares so why am i ever even there i am not real i am not there im just as dry as a volcan flair.

(well heres another poem
and its about death so yep there we go)
Teacher:Okay Suzi go to the map and find North America.
Suzi:Right here!
Teacher:Good job!Now Bobby,who discovered America?
Bobby:Suzi Did!
god I cracked up today!
------------------------------------------------
Speaking of today!My class gotta go to our 'BOOK BUDDIES' Class room and help make gingerbread houses!My book buddy's name was Addy,(mine is Abby!)Anyways!It was like...SPRINKLE CITY!!If toi were an ant,You would drown in sprinkles!!!!!!!!!GOD
My friend ,Sam,Was suivant to me...and she had like 50 spaz attacks!She was super hyped up!!!!Wow!They really shouldn't Put Candy in front of her!And I just can't stand the sprinkles!!!!God!I almost devoured the icing!There was like M&Ms,Gummy Drops,
Candy Canes,Nerds(one girl was like' Oh my god i l’amour these!),a lot plus too!Plus my friend Sam made a story called 'The Black Dragons' Kinda like The girl with the dragon tattoo!Listening to Taylor Swift's"Permanent marker"!Love it!

BYE GUTS AND GURLS!
posted by amy_the_demon
BY: me!!!!

coca: i want coca!!!
me: toi want yourself O.o

barney: lets sing a lame cul, ass song!!!!

c+m: *screams like girls* NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

Barney: *jumps off bridge*

--------------

*micowave dings*

me: le gasp!!!! my burrito is done!!!!
*finds elmo eating my burrito*

me: salut THAT'S MY BURRITO!!!!!!!!!!

coca: *bits elmo's arm*
I WILL BITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*barney walks in*

me: WTF!?!?!? YOUR SUPPOST TO BE DEAD!!!!!!!!!
barney: nom nom nom nom.........

coca: *throws elmo out the window*
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

*elmo lands on barney with a splat*

elmo: WHAT THE FUCK MAN!!!!!!!

coca: i though toi were a KID'S show!
me: this is getting rediculous!!!!

elmo: kids suck.....
*me and coca gasp's*

barney: i hate my dino life......

me: we all do purple shit, we all do..

---------



FIN
posted by samuraibond005
I never really had a life as a kid, I was brought up to lead and to fight, I was never allowed to play with little toy trains ou dolls. I learned to shoot with a large combat fusil, carabine rather than a bb gun, I learned swordsmanship with a live blade, not a wooden one, ou even a stick when I was really young.
As a result of my lack of childhood and my desire to get it back, I met a young boy par the name of Jitsa, he was 8, he loved going out in the woods and hunting with his bb gun, he loved going accueil afterwards and playing with his little electric trains. I would play with him, though I brought...
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posted by kassilove
When I was “CLEANING OUT MY CLOSET, I found an old CD of Eminem aka “THE REAL SLIM SHADY”. I started listening to it and “SANG FOR THE MOMENT". I have always been a “STAN” of Eminem and WITHOUT HIM(ME) I think I might LOSE MYSELF(YOURSELF). And, “TILL I COLLAPSE” I want to fly like a “MOCKING BIRD” ou even better as “SUPERMAN, because “WHEN IM GONE” I want to let everyone know that my life was “BEAUTIFUL”. I am “NOT AFRAID” to hit “ROCK BOTTOM” because I was born “LIKE A TOYSOLDEIR