“Yes, I am,” I a dit calmly. I felt sick to my stomach even as I a dit it.
“Why?” asked Grey as if it were not obvious.
“I l’amour him,” I said.
“I thought toi loved me,” she said, tears in her eyes. Although I saw tears, I also saw hate and fire.
“You were mistaken,” I said, it was cruel, but true. I loved Alexander plus than her.
“Why don’t toi l’amour me?” she asked.
“You raped me, and I married toi only because the baby,” I said. “Then I stayed with you, because I thought toi would get your dad to tell the psychiatric board I wasn’t ready for the job.”
“Wait…What baby?” Grey asked her brow furrowed.
“The baby…You got pregnant the night toi raped me. toi had a miscarriage, remember?” she had to remember, right? Maybe she had repressed it, but it wasn’t like her to repress things. That was plus my style.
“Oh my God,” Grey laughed, and shook her head. “You really fell for that?”
“Fell for what?”
“I lied to you. I was never pregnant. I told toi a lie, and I knew toi would marry me. toi would never let a child suffer,” a dit Grey. Something inside me broke. It was one thing to lie, but it was another thing to lie about a child.
“How dare you…You’re such a bitch, a selfish, hateful bitch,” I spat. I tried organizing words in my mind. It wasn’t working.
“I didn’t know any other way,” she a dit coolly.
“Why did toi want me anyway? Was it not obvious enough that I was gay? You’ve kept me in misery for years,” I said.
“I wanted you, because toi were sexy. We would be all the rage, and I wanted that. I knew toi were gay, but I thought I could turn you…I was wrong,” she a dit her head down.
“Yes, toi were wrong; because of toi I have been stressed. All I’ve wanted was Alexander, but no, I couldn’t have him. I was with you, and toi kept me on such a tight leash Grey,” I said, furious. “I was ready to commit suicide, and it was all your fault.”
“Damien, I’m sorry,” Grey said, but it was not sincere.
“No toi aren’t,” I walked up the stairs she trailed behind me.
“Damn it Damien, you’re such a bastard! How do toi know what I feel? Why do toi do blame me? It’s your own fault! I never a dit that toi couldn’t leave me,” she said.
“You implied it. The way toi would talk about me, how toi treated me. I am your toy! That’s it, and if I would’ve left, my career would be over,” I said. Grey had a look on her face, she knew I was right.
“Leave, now,” she a dit sternly.
“I will,” I took my suitcase out of the closet and walked out of the house. I was furious I had to calm down. I would never go back…Never…
“Why?” asked Grey as if it were not obvious.
“I l’amour him,” I said.
“I thought toi loved me,” she said, tears in her eyes. Although I saw tears, I also saw hate and fire.
“You were mistaken,” I said, it was cruel, but true. I loved Alexander plus than her.
“Why don’t toi l’amour me?” she asked.
“You raped me, and I married toi only because the baby,” I said. “Then I stayed with you, because I thought toi would get your dad to tell the psychiatric board I wasn’t ready for the job.”
“Wait…What baby?” Grey asked her brow furrowed.
“The baby…You got pregnant the night toi raped me. toi had a miscarriage, remember?” she had to remember, right? Maybe she had repressed it, but it wasn’t like her to repress things. That was plus my style.
“Oh my God,” Grey laughed, and shook her head. “You really fell for that?”
“Fell for what?”
“I lied to you. I was never pregnant. I told toi a lie, and I knew toi would marry me. toi would never let a child suffer,” a dit Grey. Something inside me broke. It was one thing to lie, but it was another thing to lie about a child.
“How dare you…You’re such a bitch, a selfish, hateful bitch,” I spat. I tried organizing words in my mind. It wasn’t working.
“I didn’t know any other way,” she a dit coolly.
“Why did toi want me anyway? Was it not obvious enough that I was gay? You’ve kept me in misery for years,” I said.
“I wanted you, because toi were sexy. We would be all the rage, and I wanted that. I knew toi were gay, but I thought I could turn you…I was wrong,” she a dit her head down.
“Yes, toi were wrong; because of toi I have been stressed. All I’ve wanted was Alexander, but no, I couldn’t have him. I was with you, and toi kept me on such a tight leash Grey,” I said, furious. “I was ready to commit suicide, and it was all your fault.”
“Damien, I’m sorry,” Grey said, but it was not sincere.
“No toi aren’t,” I walked up the stairs she trailed behind me.
“Damn it Damien, you’re such a bastard! How do toi know what I feel? Why do toi do blame me? It’s your own fault! I never a dit that toi couldn’t leave me,” she said.
“You implied it. The way toi would talk about me, how toi treated me. I am your toy! That’s it, and if I would’ve left, my career would be over,” I said. Grey had a look on her face, she knew I was right.
“Leave, now,” she a dit sternly.
“I will,” I took my suitcase out of the closet and walked out of the house. I was furious I had to calm down. I would never go back…Never…
The pain toi caused isn't what scarred me
The burning tears toi left me to shed isn't what burned me
Your last words aren't what hindered me
It was the Legend.
That endless struggle to win
To fight back
To not toss and turn in my bed
That secure feeling I had before you
To feel as a sharp as a pencil lead
Now that loneliness I feel without you
A constant reminder
Feeling my cœur, coeur beat again
Done with the breathtaking moments
And the heart-skipping kisses
To breathe again
Over and Done with
It wasn't those tears
It wasn't those words
It wasn't all that pain toi left me to bare.
It wasn't the legend toi were when toi were here
But the legacy in my cœur, coeur that toi left!
The burning tears toi left me to shed isn't what burned me
Your last words aren't what hindered me
It was the Legend.
That endless struggle to win
To fight back
To not toss and turn in my bed
That secure feeling I had before you
To feel as a sharp as a pencil lead
Now that loneliness I feel without you
A constant reminder
Feeling my cœur, coeur beat again
Done with the breathtaking moments
And the heart-skipping kisses
To breathe again
Over and Done with
It wasn't those tears
It wasn't those words
It wasn't all that pain toi left me to bare.
It wasn't the legend toi were when toi were here
But the legacy in my cœur, coeur that toi left!
There I was. *sigh* Just sitting there, waiting for him. Who? toi ask? My crush, Patrick Wellsiben, he was the one for me. Let alone, him being THE most populaire boy in school, I was known as a loser. I was the omega of the loup pack. What am I talking about? Nevermind. My conscience says "Ask him out!", but my guts say "Don't do it you! He's gonna say no!" I don't know what to do! He comes near me and says "Hey." I stand there like a scarecrow smiling. "I feel stupid." "So stupid." Why shouldn't I get the attention from populars? I have short, thick black hair, I wear tank tops all the time, regular jeans and converse. So much for fitting in.
It's Funny, I Use To Be Popular. At First Some People Loved Me And Others Hated Me. Now Everyone Hates Me. Even My Old Best Friends. toi See, I Always Found A Flaw In Everyone And Used It To Hurt Them. Not Physicly Hurt. I Made Them Feel Horrible About Them Selves. I Was The Reason toi Cried On The Way Home. The Reason toi Fake Sicked. Of Course Karma Came And Hit Me Like A Ton Of Bricks. I Try Hard To Be Nice, But No One At School Pays Attention To Me. Except Teachers. I Even Tried Sitting With My Old Friends.
"Hey, Guys!" I Said
"What Are toi Doing Here?" a dit Lexi Illing
"I Just Wanted To Sit With You."
"Well, Their's No Room"
"Yeah, Right There." I a dit Pointing To The Empty Chair At The End.
"Well," a dit Victoria Khan Placing Her livres On The Seat. "Now It's Taken."
Everyone Laughed. Except Me Of Course. I Just Walked Away. Wishing, I Had Never Been So Cruel.
"Hey, Guys!" I Said
"What Are toi Doing Here?" a dit Lexi Illing
"I Just Wanted To Sit With You."
"Well, Their's No Room"
"Yeah, Right There." I a dit Pointing To The Empty Chair At The End.
"Well," a dit Victoria Khan Placing Her livres On The Seat. "Now It's Taken."
Everyone Laughed. Except Me Of Course. I Just Walked Away. Wishing, I Had Never Been So Cruel.