Here are my liste of corny jokes. Now i'm just gonna let toi know now i got alot of these from the Youtube channel, vlogbrothers. So check them out too. Prepare to laugh.
(Make sure your not drinking anything ou eating anything toi might spit it ou something.)
#1 How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank coffee before it was cool.
#2 Why are celsius and farenheit friends?
Because they're fair-in-height. (I came up with that one :)
#3 Why was the balai, genêt à balais late to work?
It overswept!
#4 Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the baie they'd be bagels.
#5 What's Michelle Obama's favori vegetable?
Barackoli (broccoli)
#6 Why does the champignon have so many friends?
Because he's a fungi! (Fun guy)
#7 What do toi call a fake noodle?
An impasta! (Imposter)
#8 How often do i make chemistry jokes?
Periodically.
#9 What do toi call a pencil without lead?
Pointless!
#10 How do toi make an octopus giggle ten times?
toi give him ten-tickles (tenticles)
#11 How do toi make lady gaga cry?
Poker face!
#12 What did Beethoven become when he died?
A decomposer!
#13 What's a chicken's favori composer?
Bach!
#14 What did one eye say to the other eye?
"Between toi and me man, something smells." (Your nose)
#15 What did the stamp say to the envelope?
"Stick with me man, we'll go places."
#16 What did the hat say to the hatrack?
"Stay here, I'll go on a-head."
#17 Why can't toi hear a pteradactyl use the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent (the letter p in the name is silent)
#18 Why did the little boy eat his homework?
The teacher a dit it was a piece of cake.
#19 Why did the tomate blush?
It saw the salade dressing.
#20 What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
"Ruff!" (Rough)
#21 Why did the man send his phone to school?
He wanted a smartphone (i came up with that one too :)
#22 How do crazy people go through a forest?
They take the psycho path.
#23 How do toi know if it's raining chats and dogs?
toi step in a poodle (puddle)
#24 How do toi know if a clock is wise?
It goes clockwise (i thought of that)
#25 How do toi get Pikachu on a bus?
toi Pokémon (pok 'em on)
#26 Why can't toi dress with Pikachu in the room?
He'll Pikachu (peek at you)
#27 What do toi call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese (so old right?)
#28 How do get holy water?
toi boil the hell out of it!
#29 What starts with "E" ends with "E" but only has one letter in it?
An envelope, duh xD
#30 Why didn't the skeleton traverser, croix the road?
He didn't have the guts to.
#31 What did the ghost say to scare the bees?
"BOOOOBEEES!" XD (please don't yell that if your parents are home)
#32 What does an angry pepper do?
It gets jalepeño face! (All up in yo face)
#33 What do toi call an alligator in a vest?
An in- vest-igator investigator
#34 What's rose and fluffy?
rose fluff
#34.5 what's blue and fluffy? (Think about it)
rose fluff holding it's breath.
#35 What happens when toi drink 7 coca colas?
toi burp 7up
#36 Why can't your nose ever be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot.
#37 why does snoop dog carry an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle!
#38 Why was the police man in bed?
He was undercover.
#39 what did one light bulb say to another light bulb?
"Watts up?" (You know li,e the watts that are in a light bulb?)
#40 what did the poisson say when he hit a concrete wall?
"Dam!"
LAST ONE!
#41 Why can't toi trust lions?
They be lion to you! (Lying)
Alright so those are my corny jokes. Hope toi liked them. Make sure toi check out vlogbrothers they're really cool. Ciao! And rememeber...
(Make sure your not drinking anything ou eating anything toi might spit it ou something.)
#1 How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank coffee before it was cool.
#2 Why are celsius and farenheit friends?
Because they're fair-in-height. (I came up with that one :)
#3 Why was the balai, genêt à balais late to work?
It overswept!
#4 Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the baie they'd be bagels.
#5 What's Michelle Obama's favori vegetable?
Barackoli (broccoli)
#6 Why does the champignon have so many friends?
Because he's a fungi! (Fun guy)
#7 What do toi call a fake noodle?
An impasta! (Imposter)
#8 How often do i make chemistry jokes?
Periodically.
#9 What do toi call a pencil without lead?
Pointless!
#10 How do toi make an octopus giggle ten times?
toi give him ten-tickles (tenticles)
#11 How do toi make lady gaga cry?
Poker face!
#12 What did Beethoven become when he died?
A decomposer!
#13 What's a chicken's favori composer?
Bach!
#14 What did one eye say to the other eye?
"Between toi and me man, something smells." (Your nose)
#15 What did the stamp say to the envelope?
"Stick with me man, we'll go places."
#16 What did the hat say to the hatrack?
"Stay here, I'll go on a-head."
#17 Why can't toi hear a pteradactyl use the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent (the letter p in the name is silent)
#18 Why did the little boy eat his homework?
The teacher a dit it was a piece of cake.
#19 Why did the tomate blush?
It saw the salade dressing.
#20 What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
"Ruff!" (Rough)
#21 Why did the man send his phone to school?
He wanted a smartphone (i came up with that one too :)
#22 How do crazy people go through a forest?
They take the psycho path.
#23 How do toi know if it's raining chats and dogs?
toi step in a poodle (puddle)
#24 How do toi know if a clock is wise?
It goes clockwise (i thought of that)
#25 How do toi get Pikachu on a bus?
toi Pokémon (pok 'em on)
#26 Why can't toi dress with Pikachu in the room?
He'll Pikachu (peek at you)
#27 What do toi call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese (so old right?)
#28 How do get holy water?
toi boil the hell out of it!
#29 What starts with "E" ends with "E" but only has one letter in it?
An envelope, duh xD
#30 Why didn't the skeleton traverser, croix the road?
He didn't have the guts to.
#31 What did the ghost say to scare the bees?
"BOOOOBEEES!" XD (please don't yell that if your parents are home)
#32 What does an angry pepper do?
It gets jalepeño face! (All up in yo face)
#33 What do toi call an alligator in a vest?
An in- vest-igator investigator
#34 What's rose and fluffy?
rose fluff
#34.5 what's blue and fluffy? (Think about it)
rose fluff holding it's breath.
#35 What happens when toi drink 7 coca colas?
toi burp 7up
#36 Why can't your nose ever be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot.
#37 why does snoop dog carry an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle!
#38 Why was the police man in bed?
He was undercover.
#39 what did one light bulb say to another light bulb?
"Watts up?" (You know li,e the watts that are in a light bulb?)
#40 what did the poisson say when he hit a concrete wall?
"Dam!"
LAST ONE!
#41 Why can't toi trust lions?
They be lion to you! (Lying)
Alright so those are my corny jokes. Hope toi liked them. Make sure toi check out vlogbrothers they're really cool. Ciao! And rememeber...
10. Sing “Bad Touch” par the Bloodhound Gang in your head whenever he is near.
9.Ask him if he thinks Robert Pattinson is hot. When he says no, tell him he has low self esteem issues
8. Tell him the relationship he is having with Bella is practically paedophilia and he could be sent to jail for it.
7.End every argument with “Bite me, Edward.”
6. Whenever he complains ou argues, reply with “What are toi gonna do Edward? Go to Italy?”
5.Ask him to be a gangsta with toi for Halloween
4. montrer him the twilight trailer. Ask him if he thinks that he looks like a pedophile ou if it's just you.
3. Tell him his hair isn’t bronze, it’s ginger, and he should stop denying himself – he’s a ranga.
2. Whenever he leaves a room ou says goodbye, get down on your knees and beg him not to go, not again.
1. Take his silver cell phone and change the ringtone to “Like a Virgin” par Madonna.
9.Ask him if he thinks Robert Pattinson is hot. When he says no, tell him he has low self esteem issues
8. Tell him the relationship he is having with Bella is practically paedophilia and he could be sent to jail for it.
7.End every argument with “Bite me, Edward.”
6. Whenever he complains ou argues, reply with “What are toi gonna do Edward? Go to Italy?”
5.Ask him to be a gangsta with toi for Halloween
4. montrer him the twilight trailer. Ask him if he thinks that he looks like a pedophile ou if it's just you.
3. Tell him his hair isn’t bronze, it’s ginger, and he should stop denying himself – he’s a ranga.
2. Whenever he leaves a room ou says goodbye, get down on your knees and beg him not to go, not again.
1. Take his silver cell phone and change the ringtone to “Like a Virgin” par Madonna.
There is a topless photo of Sel going around, but it’s FAKE!O_O
Sources connected to Gomez told website TMZ that Selena and company ‘are furious that her reputation is being sullied par some perverts with Photoshop.’
"The alleged photo of Selena Gomez is absolutely not her. Selena’s family is pursuing all available remedies to deal with the offender.” a dit her reps.
Now they are going to go after the people responsible.
Awful, isn’t it, some of the weird things people do on the Internet!?
UGGHHHH...
source: TMZ
-Well these stuff don't happen only to famous people,But they also happen to normal fellows and This results in big problems which have no limits!
Sources connected to Gomez told website TMZ that Selena and company ‘are furious that her reputation is being sullied par some perverts with Photoshop.’
"The alleged photo of Selena Gomez is absolutely not her. Selena’s family is pursuing all available remedies to deal with the offender.” a dit her reps.
Now they are going to go after the people responsible.
Awful, isn’t it, some of the weird things people do on the Internet!?
UGGHHHH...
source: TMZ
-Well these stuff don't happen only to famous people,But they also happen to normal fellows and This results in big problems which have no limits!
If toi think toi lire all the books, seeing all the movies, and buying all the stuff makes for a real fan Twilight fan, wait until toi read this news.v
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It turns out that there is a woman named Cathy Ward, 49, who is a mega fan of the series. She has her entire back tattooed with the characters from the series and plans to cover her whole body... WoW!
Cathy discovered the series a few years il y a when a friend gave her the first movie and since then she has been l’amour with all the mythology and characters.
Source: objetivofamosos
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It turns out that there is a woman named Cathy Ward, 49, who is a mega fan of the series. She has her entire back tattooed with the characters from the series and plans to cover her whole body... WoW!
Cathy discovered the series a few years il y a when a friend gave her the first movie and since then she has been l’amour with all the mythology and characters.
Source: objetivofamosos
Chuck Norris can make onions cry.
Chuck Norris can supprimer the Recycling Bin.
Ghosts are actually caused par Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.
Chuck Norris can strangle toi with a cordless phone.
Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.
Chuck Norris once had a cœur, coeur attack; his cœur, coeur lost.
Chuck Norris doesn't turn the light on; he turns the dark off.
The last digit of pi is Chuck Norris. He is the end of all things.
Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror, the mirror shatters; not even a mirror is stupid enough to get between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris's tears can cure aids, too bad he never cries. (silvaze9)
Salati is a leopard that was adopted par the Brooker family in South Africa. The family helps to rehabilitate animaux that are injured. Salati came to the Brooker family when it was just a cub, and instantly became Friends with Tommy, a golden retriever. Tommy was also a chiot at the time.
toi would think that a friendship between this unlikely pair would be impossible. But no. The two animaux connected from the first moment. Now the two animaux are fully grown and they are still friends. They spend time together running, playing, sleeping, whatever!
They have left behind the stereotype of cat and dog and found friendship instead.
Kat: toi spin my head right 'round, right 'round-
Zapnis: DONCHA WISH YO GIRLFRIEND WAS HOT LIKE ME-
Kat: I'D LIKE TO MAKE MYSELF BELIEVE-
Zapnis: I KISSED A GIRL-
Doofenshmirtz: SHUT UP ALREADY! I'M TRYING TO WORK ON MY TOASTINATOR!
*Zim comes in*
Zim: SURRENDER NOW HUMANS!
Kat: Uhh, Zap and I aren't humans, and toi know us-
Zim: Shut up, girl!
Gir: AH LIKE TACOS!
*Mermaidman comes in*
Kat: I WANT YO l’amour AND I WANT YO REVENGE-
Mermaidman: EEEVIL!
*Bloo from Foster's walks in*
Bloo: AH AM PIERRE'S COUSIN! I HAVE ZE EAR ON ZE SAHD OF MAH FECE!
Kat: AH AM PIERRE'S GIRLFRIEND!
All: ◎_◎
Kat: WHAT!?
Doof: Leave now everyone! Kat, toi stay since toi live here.
*everyone leaves*
Doof: I'm going back to bed.
Kat: Me too.
Zapnis: DONCHA WISH YO GIRLFRIEND WAS HOT LIKE ME-
Kat: I'D LIKE TO MAKE MYSELF BELIEVE-
Zapnis: I KISSED A GIRL-
Doofenshmirtz: SHUT UP ALREADY! I'M TRYING TO WORK ON MY TOASTINATOR!
*Zim comes in*
Zim: SURRENDER NOW HUMANS!
Kat: Uhh, Zap and I aren't humans, and toi know us-
Zim: Shut up, girl!
Gir: AH LIKE TACOS!
*Mermaidman comes in*
Kat: I WANT YO l’amour AND I WANT YO REVENGE-
Mermaidman: EEEVIL!
*Bloo from Foster's walks in*
Bloo: AH AM PIERRE'S COUSIN! I HAVE ZE EAR ON ZE SAHD OF MAH FECE!
Kat: AH AM PIERRE'S GIRLFRIEND!
All: ◎_◎
Kat: WHAT!?
Doof: Leave now everyone! Kat, toi stay since toi live here.
*everyone leaves*
Doof: I'm going back to bed.
Kat: Me too.