aléatoire Article: Marriage citations par Men

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posted by karpach_14

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.

Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.

A man was complaining to a friend: 'I had it all - money, a beautiful house,a big car, the l’amour of a beautiful woman; then, Pow! it was all gone!' 'What happened?' asked the friend. 'My wife found out..'

Wife: Let's go out and have some fun tonight. Husband: Okay, but if toi get accueil before I do, leave the hallway light on.

How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened par the time she brings it to the couch.

A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, 'Martha, pack up your things! I just won the California lottery!' Martha replies, 'Shall I pack for warm weather ou cold?' The man responds, 'I don't care. Just so long as you're out of the house par noon!'

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the rue bald and still think they are beautiful!

I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.

If your wife and a lawyer were drowning and toi had to choose, would toi go to lunch ou to a movie?

A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.

deathding, Tdinoahiscute4 and 3 others like this

Hinata-Snow I'm not like this. Which is probably why I haven't had a girlfriend yet.

ILuvSweeneyTodd The third-last one is priceless! XD

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LOL!!! XD

added by carsfan

Source: Internet

Miranda Cosgrove at Disneyland

added by NickelodeonLove

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aléatoire

added by kenzichu

Death the Kid

added by SymmetricLuka83

6

This Is a aléatoire spot :)

added by Alexyss_Cullen

Source: My I-pod and some app

1

Smiling animaux

added by myau

2

'Xbox_720' controller.....

added by xXxJDloverxXx

Source: Facebook

2

CONFUSING photos

added by liridonarama96

2

Funny Windows Errors

added by Gretute2772

2

Funny Church Sign

added by Saint_and_Fang

1

Funny Church Sign

added by Saint_and_Fang

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Desktop Fun Prank

posted by australia-101

Desktop Fun Prank

This works best on someone without much computer knowledge. If toi know of someone who is constantly talking about how stupid their PC is, ou always seem to be lucky enough to get the newest virus before anyone else...this trick is for them.

You will need:

- Access to their computer
- Ability to take screenshots, change desktop wallpaper, and other basic computer skills

How this prank works:
You take a screenshot of someone's desktop (with ou without apps running ou photoshopping "enhancements"), than place that image as their desktop wallpaper. If toi are decent with using photoshop...

2

Loyalty citations

posted by IloveMyLord

The scholar does not consider or and jade to be precious treasures, but loyalty and good faith.
Confucius
Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain ou freed a human soul.
Mark Twain
An ounce of loyalty is worth a pound of cleverness.
Elbert Green Hubbard

Loyalty means nothing unless it has at its cœur, coeur the absolute principle of self-sacrifice.
Woodrow T. Wilson
Loyalty ... is a realization that America was born of revolt, flourished in dissent, became great through experimentation.
Henry S. Commager
Total loyalty is possible only when fidelity is emptied of all concrete content, from...

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How to be annoying at a Funeral

posted by ShadowProve13

Tell the undertaker that he can't close the coffin until toi find your contact lens.

Punch the body and tell people that he hit toi first.

Tell the widow that you're the deceased's gay lover.

Ask someone to take a snapshot of toi shaking hands with the deceased.

At the cemetery, play taps on a kazoo.

Walk around tellin people that you've seen the will and they're not in it.

Ask the widow to give toi a kiss.

Drive behind the widow's limo and keep honking your horn.

Tell the undertaker that your dog just died and ask if he can sneak him into the coffin.

Put a hard-boiled egg in the mouth of the...

8

Why Guys l’amour Girls ?

posted by JonasLuver1

Why Guys l’amour Girls:

1. The way they always smell good even if it’s just shampoo
2. The way they always find the right spot on our shoulder
3. How cute they look when they sleep
4. The ease in which they fit into our ams
5. The way they Kiss toi ad make everything alright in the world
6. How cute they are when they eat
7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the it’s all worthwhile
8. The way they are always warm even if it’s minus 30 degrees
9. The way the look good no matter what they wear
10. The way she fished for compliments even though toi both know she’s the most beautiful...

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How to be aléatoire

posted by KateKicksAss

This is your new mascot. All hail the bunny!

Of course, if toi are TRULY random, toi shouldn't even need a guide, O_O

Randomness, randomosity, randomology, whatever toi may call it, is using improvisation to create original humorous phrases ou monologues ou pine cones on the spot. 'Randomosity' is fun to express in the presence of Friends ou logging companies, but can quickly become extremely obnoxious. Have fun with your randomness, don't force it. Remember, if toi got it, Flaunt it!

Steps

1. Break free of conventional rules. Finishing your sentences is not mandatory, merely optional and toi can do it on Tuesdays but not on Wednesdays...