These are supposedly actual answering machine announcements.
1. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to toi as soon as we're finished.
2. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So, leave a message.
3. Hi. This is John: If toi are the phone company, I already sent the money. If toi are my parents, please send money. If toi are my financial aid institution, toi didn't lend me enough money. If toi are my friends, toi owe me money. If toi are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.
4. Hi. Now toi say something.
5. Hi, I'm not accueil right now, but my answering machine is, so toi can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep.
6. Hello. I am David's answering machine. What are you?
7. Hello! If toi leave a message, I'll call toi soon. If toi leave a "sexy" message, I'll call sooner!
8. Hi! John's answering machine is broken This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.
9. Hello, toi are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows ou a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through their office and do not need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.
10. This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your number and your reason for calling, and I'll think about returning your call.
11. Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.
12. Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave a message and then wait par your phone until I call toi back.
13. If toi are a burglar, then we're probably at accueil cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't accueil and it's sûr, sans danger to leave a message.
14. Please leave a message. However, toi have the right to remain silent. Everything toi say will be recorded and will be used par us.
15. Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth we'll get back to you.
1. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to toi as soon as we're finished.
2. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So, leave a message.
3. Hi. This is John: If toi are the phone company, I already sent the money. If toi are my parents, please send money. If toi are my financial aid institution, toi didn't lend me enough money. If toi are my friends, toi owe me money. If toi are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.
4. Hi. Now toi say something.
5. Hi, I'm not accueil right now, but my answering machine is, so toi can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep.
6. Hello. I am David's answering machine. What are you?
7. Hello! If toi leave a message, I'll call toi soon. If toi leave a "sexy" message, I'll call sooner!
8. Hi! John's answering machine is broken This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.
9. Hello, toi are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows ou a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through their office and do not need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.
10. This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your number and your reason for calling, and I'll think about returning your call.
11. Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.
12. Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave a message and then wait par your phone until I call toi back.
13. If toi are a burglar, then we're probably at accueil cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't accueil and it's sûr, sans danger to leave a message.
14. Please leave a message. However, toi have the right to remain silent. Everything toi say will be recorded and will be used par us.
15. Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth we'll get back to you.
There is no peace, there is PEPE
There is no fear, there is Shadilay(Peace be upon him).
There is no death, there is God Emperor.
There is no weakness, there is the MEMES.
I am the cœur, coeur of darkness.
I know no fear.
But rather I instil it in my enemies.
I am the destroyer of worlds.
I know the power of the MEMES.
I am the feu of hate.
All the universe bows before kek.
I pledge myself to kek.
For I have found true life In the death of SocJus.
Peace is a lie, there is only Kek.
Through passion, I gain salt.
Through Shadilay(Peace be upon him), I gain power.
Through power, I gain Lulz.
Through victory, my chains are broken.
The MEMES shall set me free.
Preached par the Enlightened Prophet known as ''The Turbo Syncretist''. The truth has been spoken! Know
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Praise Kek !!!!