"Shelby?" Sage asked quietly, coming into my room. "Can I ask toi something?" I sat up on my bed.
"Sure," I sighed, not so enthusiastic; but I was trying not to be so irritable all the time. Sage came in front of the bed, then plopped down on the floor in front of me.
"What's that stuff toi take?" she asked. I furrowed my eyebrows.
"What do toi mean, Sage?"
"You know, that stuff toi take," she said. "Like this." She put her palm to her nose, and inhaled deeply. My cœur, coeur fell into my stomach. I quickly fell down to her height, and grabbed her shoulders.
"Sage. How do toi know about that," I a dit urgently. She frowned at me.
"I saw you," she whined, like she was in trouble; when in reality, I was the one in deep trouble. "What is it?"
"Nothing," I a dit quickly. "You cannot tell anyone about this. Understand?" Despite my urgency, she didn't seem to see what the big deal was.
"Ok, but wh---"
"Sage," I breathed, my voice trembling. "Do not. Say. A word... toi promise?" Sage sighed.
"I guess." She stood up and left. I could only stare after her. What if she told someone? What if she told Paige? ou Blair ou James? I'd be dead. I could only hope that Sage kept her promise and didn't tell anyone. I felt like I was going to be sick. Needing relief, I went and grabbed the bad underneath my oreiller case.
***
I got off the bus, looking around for my friends. I saw Rigby and Jordan over away from the others. I went over to them, smiling.
"Hey guys," I said. "Where's Carissa?" Rigby and Jordan looked at each other, their faces grave.
"Carissa's dead," Jordan a dit in a monotone. "She O.D.'ed last night." It felt like my cœur, coeur just froze over.
"What?" I whispered. "She's... She's dead?" Rigby nodded. My head swirled. I'd talked to Carissa just yesterday. In that amount of time, she'd Lost her life. Rigby sighed.
"Get over it, Shelby," he shook his head. "It happens." It felt like he'd just hit me in the stomach with a baseball bat. How could he say that?! Carissa was one of the most nicest people I'd ever met! And now she was dead?! How could he stand there and say it was no big deal? She'd never grow up now; have a family and kids! She was only thirteen! The cloche, bell rang, and Jordan and Rigby headed off. Jordan patted my shoulder once, a sad smile on his lips.
Needing relief, but feeling a little worried, I took a little bit of cocaine before class. It was nowhere near as much as I used to take; just enough to take the edge off a bit.
I couldn't pay attention in class, even if I wanted to that day. I could only think about Carissa. What would she have done today if she hadn't died? What had happened afterwards? Did her grandmother find her asleep in her room, only to find out her granddaughter was actually dying?
"Students are to remain in their class rooms for the suivant hour," the principal droned over the announcements. "There's a drug chercher being held, and all students are to remain in their classrooms." I felt the blood rush to my face as the teacher explained further; the police were here with the drug sniffing dogs. My drugs were in my locker. Right. Now. I felt like I was going to be sick again. My trembling hand went up.
"I need to go to the bathroom," I whispered, staring at the ground.
"You can't, Shelby. toi can go in an hour," she said, then went on with the précédant lesson. I held my head in my hands, trying to stay conscious.
"I need to go to the nurse," I tried.
"I'm sure you're fine, Shelby," the teacher sighed. "If toi still don't feel well later, toi can go. But for now everyone needs to stay in the classroom." It felt like a hole was being burned into my stomach. If I didn't do something now, I was going to lose it.
Before I was aware what was going on, I found myself in the hallway. I was running. I had no idea how I got there, ou why I was running, but the shouting behind me only confirmed the idea that I should keep running. Then I remembered, and ran to my locker. Maybe I could get back before the police saw me. I fumbled with the lock, dialing in the combination. I pulled up, but I'd screwed up the combination and it remained locked.
"...23...18...5---" I was pulled back, par great force. I looked up in shock to see a police man, and he looked at the cop suivant to him, holding the leash. The other man let the dog sniff my locker, and after only a few seconds, the dog was barking. The cop holding me back looked down at me.
"You're under arrest."
"Sure," I sighed, not so enthusiastic; but I was trying not to be so irritable all the time. Sage came in front of the bed, then plopped down on the floor in front of me.
"What's that stuff toi take?" she asked. I furrowed my eyebrows.
"What do toi mean, Sage?"
"You know, that stuff toi take," she said. "Like this." She put her palm to her nose, and inhaled deeply. My cœur, coeur fell into my stomach. I quickly fell down to her height, and grabbed her shoulders.
"Sage. How do toi know about that," I a dit urgently. She frowned at me.
"I saw you," she whined, like she was in trouble; when in reality, I was the one in deep trouble. "What is it?"
"Nothing," I a dit quickly. "You cannot tell anyone about this. Understand?" Despite my urgency, she didn't seem to see what the big deal was.
"Ok, but wh---"
"Sage," I breathed, my voice trembling. "Do not. Say. A word... toi promise?" Sage sighed.
"I guess." She stood up and left. I could only stare after her. What if she told someone? What if she told Paige? ou Blair ou James? I'd be dead. I could only hope that Sage kept her promise and didn't tell anyone. I felt like I was going to be sick. Needing relief, I went and grabbed the bad underneath my oreiller case.
***
I got off the bus, looking around for my friends. I saw Rigby and Jordan over away from the others. I went over to them, smiling.
"Hey guys," I said. "Where's Carissa?" Rigby and Jordan looked at each other, their faces grave.
"Carissa's dead," Jordan a dit in a monotone. "She O.D.'ed last night." It felt like my cœur, coeur just froze over.
"What?" I whispered. "She's... She's dead?" Rigby nodded. My head swirled. I'd talked to Carissa just yesterday. In that amount of time, she'd Lost her life. Rigby sighed.
"Get over it, Shelby," he shook his head. "It happens." It felt like he'd just hit me in the stomach with a baseball bat. How could he say that?! Carissa was one of the most nicest people I'd ever met! And now she was dead?! How could he stand there and say it was no big deal? She'd never grow up now; have a family and kids! She was only thirteen! The cloche, bell rang, and Jordan and Rigby headed off. Jordan patted my shoulder once, a sad smile on his lips.
Needing relief, but feeling a little worried, I took a little bit of cocaine before class. It was nowhere near as much as I used to take; just enough to take the edge off a bit.
I couldn't pay attention in class, even if I wanted to that day. I could only think about Carissa. What would she have done today if she hadn't died? What had happened afterwards? Did her grandmother find her asleep in her room, only to find out her granddaughter was actually dying?
"Students are to remain in their class rooms for the suivant hour," the principal droned over the announcements. "There's a drug chercher being held, and all students are to remain in their classrooms." I felt the blood rush to my face as the teacher explained further; the police were here with the drug sniffing dogs. My drugs were in my locker. Right. Now. I felt like I was going to be sick again. My trembling hand went up.
"I need to go to the bathroom," I whispered, staring at the ground.
"You can't, Shelby. toi can go in an hour," she said, then went on with the précédant lesson. I held my head in my hands, trying to stay conscious.
"I need to go to the nurse," I tried.
"I'm sure you're fine, Shelby," the teacher sighed. "If toi still don't feel well later, toi can go. But for now everyone needs to stay in the classroom." It felt like a hole was being burned into my stomach. If I didn't do something now, I was going to lose it.
Before I was aware what was going on, I found myself in the hallway. I was running. I had no idea how I got there, ou why I was running, but the shouting behind me only confirmed the idea that I should keep running. Then I remembered, and ran to my locker. Maybe I could get back before the police saw me. I fumbled with the lock, dialing in the combination. I pulled up, but I'd screwed up the combination and it remained locked.
"...23...18...5---" I was pulled back, par great force. I looked up in shock to see a police man, and he looked at the cop suivant to him, holding the leash. The other man let the dog sniff my locker, and after only a few seconds, the dog was barking. The cop holding me back looked down at me.
"You're under arrest."
I need you
from the first moment i saw you
I need you
because you're the air i breathe
I need you
because you're the water i drink
I need you
because just the thought of seeing toi makes me want to get out of bed
I need you
because toi can with just one smile make my whole world starts to turning again
I need you
because toi make me wake up from my the most horrible nightmare without fear
I need you
because toi can give me hope when i don't have one
I need you
because even if I'm at the bottom,you're always there to help me stand up
I need you
because in this cruel world toi keep me alive
I need you
because i know that you'll never give up from me
I need you
because when no one believed in me toi were there to stand up for me
I need you
because you're everything for me
But the most important thing why i need toi is
because I'll always l’amour you!
This was in my head so i just thought to write it
from the first moment i saw you
I need you
because you're the air i breathe
I need you
because you're the water i drink
I need you
because just the thought of seeing toi makes me want to get out of bed
I need you
because toi can with just one smile make my whole world starts to turning again
I need you
because toi make me wake up from my the most horrible nightmare without fear
I need you
because toi can give me hope when i don't have one
I need you
because even if I'm at the bottom,you're always there to help me stand up
I need you
because in this cruel world toi keep me alive
I need you
because i know that you'll never give up from me
I need you
because when no one believed in me toi were there to stand up for me
I need you
because you're everything for me
But the most important thing why i need toi is
because I'll always l’amour you!
This was in my head so i just thought to write it
priceless and important,
gives toi the roads
and leaves toi choices
of which your luck depends on.
This is your life
and toi live it
wrapped par sadness
ou happiness.
Who cares?
This is your life,
invisible for others.
toi pick the road
and pray that the choice
is right,
but life loves toi not,
that's toi who l’amour
the joy of life.
Life,
priceless and important,
gives toi choices,
unpredictable events,
grays and hope,
and life is all yours.
But, the question is
will toi remain sane
even though your life
is cruel to your dreams,
will toi remain sane
even when your life
is dying in your eyes.