someone mentioned your name today. It wafted over to me like the smell of spicy perfume - pleasant at first, but one that stings in the long run. My subconscious picked it up, without me noticing and, I must admit, it took me a few tenths of a seconde to dig up your file in my brain. I seemed to forget who toi were for that short amount of time. For that brief, innocent period, I was unaware. The name could have been from years and years ago, it could have been a name I had donné to a chiot many years back, the name of a plush toy, the name carved in a bus stop bench. A name that I had known, but never had I connected with a human being ou a face.
An abrupt twist brought me back around, down to Earth, back to reality. The brain has a tendency for remembering crimes and pain. To make things clear, I am not me. If my name got caught in your ears, you'd think of a shadow. You'd remember a person, now gone. You'd think of her, but it wouldn't be me. The same name. But not me at all. And toi should know, I hate myself right now. There is a chemical eating me up from the inside. The chemical not being guilt. Having a similar aspect to it, but being much deeper, much plus complicated. But nevertheless, I do tell the truth. I hate myself like a child from a divorced family hates one of their parents. The feeling of betrayal. Me betraying myself. Turning out unexpectedly and incorrectly. Doing the wrong things, taking wrong turns.
I was on the right track for a while. I truly was. And I imagined the rest of my life running smoothly. I thanked for every day. I was grateful. I was happy. I was determined. The future looked right. I had things to look vers l'avant, vers l’avant to. Not you. Things other than you. Much deeper, much plus complicated. I was a girl on the right track. The girl, ticking off her To-Do lists, was aware of what needed to be done. She was proud. She walked with her head raised. I am not her. I have already ruined almost half of what I worked so fucking hard for. I know what you're thinking, sweetie. "You can still get back." toi can still find the road toi were on and keep pedaling. This is just a rock. A bump on the road to hold toi back. But not to stop toi completely. And I pray that you're right. That toi know what you're saying. Because it's toi we're talking about.
An abrupt twist brought me back around, down to Earth, back to reality. The brain has a tendency for remembering crimes and pain. To make things clear, I am not me. If my name got caught in your ears, you'd think of a shadow. You'd remember a person, now gone. You'd think of her, but it wouldn't be me. The same name. But not me at all. And toi should know, I hate myself right now. There is a chemical eating me up from the inside. The chemical not being guilt. Having a similar aspect to it, but being much deeper, much plus complicated. But nevertheless, I do tell the truth. I hate myself like a child from a divorced family hates one of their parents. The feeling of betrayal. Me betraying myself. Turning out unexpectedly and incorrectly. Doing the wrong things, taking wrong turns.
I was on the right track for a while. I truly was. And I imagined the rest of my life running smoothly. I thanked for every day. I was grateful. I was happy. I was determined. The future looked right. I had things to look vers l'avant, vers l’avant to. Not you. Things other than you. Much deeper, much plus complicated. I was a girl on the right track. The girl, ticking off her To-Do lists, was aware of what needed to be done. She was proud. She walked with her head raised. I am not her. I have already ruined almost half of what I worked so fucking hard for. I know what you're thinking, sweetie. "You can still get back." toi can still find the road toi were on and keep pedaling. This is just a rock. A bump on the road to hold toi back. But not to stop toi completely. And I pray that you're right. That toi know what you're saying. Because it's toi we're talking about.
I had saved Bruno's life. He knew it was too dangerous to be on a mounain, he teleported to the Apache Junction. Unknowing where we were, we camped out. We heard someone walking outside and when we walked out, it was Apache Indians. They started talking, they were speaking Indian so we couldn't tell what they were saying. Bruno threw red circles at their necks, and when they landed, they started speaking english. One of them a dit " Why are toi here? This is the Junction! Get Out!" Me and Bruno looked at each other. We ran as fast as we could, but, I wasn't fast enough. They grabbed me par the hair and pulled me away. Luckily, Bruno put his hand in the bon-fire and threw the feu at the indians. The ran away with so much fear, they fell off a cliff. Bruno grabbed my hand until the reached a forest, there was a small waterfall par the forest.
Everyone has a red glass window.It's called your heart.People's windows differ from others,some windows are shaded out and don't let any light come in and than there are some windows that are open to whatever goes pass their them.
Is your window open ou closed out?
Would toi let the air in if toi had the chance?
My window has been open for quite some time and the same gush of wind keeps coming in and I've grown to l’amour and need that one breath that air gives me.But that gush of wind I've grown to l’amour sometimes easily breaks my window with it's power.But yet can easily fix my window up again with it's strength.It is a constant fight between letting that gush of wind in because I'm afraid of the wind breaking my window once more.But that same gush of wind I'm so scared of but yet l’amour so much,loves me as well but that wind can spread far.Far enough to other people's windows as well.
Always an constant fight between the wind and the window!
Is your window open ou closed out?
Would toi let the air in if toi had the chance?
My window has been open for quite some time and the same gush of wind keeps coming in and I've grown to l’amour and need that one breath that air gives me.But that gush of wind I've grown to l’amour sometimes easily breaks my window with it's power.But yet can easily fix my window up again with it's strength.It is a constant fight between letting that gush of wind in because I'm afraid of the wind breaking my window once more.But that same gush of wind I'm so scared of but yet l’amour so much,loves me as well but that wind can spread far.Far enough to other people's windows as well.
Always an constant fight between the wind and the window!
aléatoire Song ou Poem ou Something
So um enjoy. Idk wot this is but whatev :)
I'll Break this Spell
I’ve lived my life in shadows
Walking at your pace
I couldn’t see that toi were so shallow
I was too mesmerized par your face
Now I can see
All that you’ve done to me
I’ll break this spell
That you’ve put on me
Ever so easily
I won’t treat toi well
After all it’s me
That you’ve messed up completely
I’ll make toi pay hell
If that’s what will set me free
If it’ll set me free
So um enjoy. Idk wot this is but whatev :)
I'll Break this Spell
I’ve lived my life in shadows
Walking at your pace
I couldn’t see that toi were so shallow
I was too mesmerized par your face
Now I can see
All that you’ve done to me
I’ll break this spell
That you’ve put on me
Ever so easily
I won’t treat toi well
After all it’s me
That you’ve messed up completely
I’ll make toi pay hell
If that’s what will set me free
If it’ll set me free
I feel like I have always known you
We’ve always been so close but
toi look away
toi tell me that toi l’amour me
But your eyes say something else
It shouldn’t be so difficult for me
To turn away
Chorus:
Every time we talk at night
Every time toi make me feel alright
When toi say goodbye
toi say you’ll think of me all the time
I know it’s a lie
And I’m slowly breaking
I’m slowly breaking
Somehow toi just cannot see
The way I smile when toi look at me
Are toi completely blind?
Cuz’ I’ve donné toi all the signs
That I l’amour toi
Chorus:
And now I’m falling apart
You’ve gone from my life
I can’t take it anymore
My new best friend is a knife
What toi were to me
Made me complete