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posted by invadercalliope
CCAALLIIOOPPEE
CCHHAANNEELL!
HIA EVERYBODY!
I'm your host InvaderCalliope!
Well i'm going to sing! *sings*
WELL AS toi KNOW I GET TONS AND TONS OF fan LETTERS! NOW I WILL READ ONE TO YOU!
The Letter reads:Big hello to InvaderCalliope on this montrer i allways see a new guest étoile, star so i was wondering how do toi do it?
toi WANNA KNOW BECAUSE ITS AN HONOR TO BE ON THIS montrer BEING ON THIS montrer AS ME AS THE HOST!
Well todays guest étoile, star is..............KEEF!
Keef:HI EVERYONE I HOPE ZIM AND DIB ARE WATCHING THERE MY BEST FRIENDS!
InvaderCalliope:You know your Friends are going to think your pathetic.
Keef:WHAT!
InvaderCalliope:You herd me if toi make them know your there whole world there going to use you!
OH NO WERE OUTTA TIME!
WELL BYE!
BUT FIRST PLZ ENJOY TODAYS SPECAIL PICTURE!
BYE ME!
To Deadly Quit

Emily and Katlyn were celebrating a pretty Valentine's jour together. Emily had cooked a stupid dîner and they ate on a log par candlelight.

"My darling," Katlyn said, stroking Emily's booty, "I have something for you." She gave a box to Emily. "It is but a quick token of my lesbian love."

Emily opened the box. Inside was a speedy snake! She gazed at it dreadfully. Then she gazed at Katlyn dreadfully. "It's iggnorant," Emily said. "Come here and let me quit you."

Just then, a dumb crone sprang out of hiding and cackled like a smile that stretches ear to ear. "Your happiness will not...
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I know some questions about canada that non-canadians ask about Canada, i'm going to tell toi the réponses


first, toi can NOT see polar bears in the rue and we don't ride the them either we use CARS.


second, we live in houses, not igloos we would probably freeze after awhile


Thats all i know but know toi won't think canadians live in igloos and if Miley cyrus is lire this and did say canada sucks,WELL IT DOESEN'T SUCK!!!!
IT ROCKS!!! i'm proud to live in Canada.

:)
"My name is Melody Willgrove and I am a werewolf."
"Now I never found myself pretty ou anything I am just a normal girl(well as normal as a werewolf girl can be any way).''I am just a normal girl .Though every guy in the pack thinks I am sexy, but I have know idea why .''I mean what so good looking about me I have deep red hair (which has a mind of it own ),I am too skinny (blow away in the wind to skinny ),I am a shorty (5 foot ) ,and I am pale (burn a lot ).''The only two things I like about myself is my grey eyes(their like my dad's ) and my b-cups ,hey if I am going to be skinny I derserve...
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posted by Emoshinell
RUSH
---------
They say it's good to take your time
But it can be hard to do so
So I find myself asking the same questions
Over and over again

Whenever I rush into something
I'm told to slow down ou else I'll get burned
But who knows
Maybe it's good sometimes
To rush into things
'Cause I know toi know it's right So I say

(Chorus)
Let's rush
I know there's nothing wrong we can do
If we follow our hearts
Whether we rush
ou we take our time
So let's rush

I want toi to know this
That I'll never leave your side
We may rush ou we may not
I want toi to know this
I want toi to know this
So I say

(Chorus X2)

Let's rush
Let's rush
posted by AlxanderRfan
I don’t know what makes toi so dumb but it really works.

Anybody who told toi to be yourself simply couldn’t have donné toi worse advice…

Hi there, I’m a human being! What are you?

Shouldn’t toi have a license for being that ugly?

Don’t let toi mind wander – it’s far too small to be let out on its own.

Are toi always this stupid ou are toi making a special effort today?

Sure, I’ve seen people like toi before – but I had to pay an admission.

If toi took an IQ test, the results would be negative.

Sure, I’d l’amour to help toi out…now, which way did toi come in?

Brains aren’t everything....
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posted by zanesaaomgfan
1. Ask him why did he marry a woman like your mom

2. Tell him toi met a guy in school

3. Sing a song he hates

4(reply to number 3) When he plays a song he likes, ask: "What awful music. How do toi listen to that crap?"

5. When he is driving you(anywhere), constantly ask "where are we going?"

6. Call him par his name[Not so risky, always done it as a kid!]

7. When he lectures you, after he finishes it, ask him: "Ever heard of breath mint?"

8. Tell him that Justin Bieber is your favori guy[If toi hate Bieber, go with Cody Simpson ou some who toi like ALLOT!]

9. Come accueil saying toi found your true...
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added by Rodz
Source: desktopnexus
posted by x-menobsessed26
There used to be a rue named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives

Every time Chuck Norris looks into a mirror it breaks. Even glass is not stupid enough to get between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can strangle toi with a cordless phone.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.

Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.

Brett Farve can throw a football 50 yds. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Farve even farther.

Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris...
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posted by karpach_14
A single drop of sweat from Chuck Norris was found to quench the thirst of an entire african village for 23 straight days. Subsequently, an olympic athlete from that village was disqualified from his event for testing positive for performance enhancing drugs.

Chuck Norris can read lady Gaga's poker face.

Chuck Norris says the alphabet faster backwards then toi can say it fowards.

When Chuck Norris goes to sleep, he doesn't dream he lives it.

In an alternate universe, Chuck Norris is just a myth. However, he pwns people there anyways.

When Chuck Norris drinks beer, the bière gets drunk.

Ninjas want...
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posted by d3ath_3at3r
In a pub quizz the other jour I Lost par one point. The question was, "where do women mostly have curly hair?" Apparently, it's Africa.


One of the other questions was to name two things commonly found in cells.
It appears that Nigerians and Jamaicans is not the correct answer.


I've heard that pomme has scrapped their plans for the new children's iPod, after realizing that iTouch Kids is not a good product name.


There's a new Muslim clothing boutique that opened in Toronto but I've been banned from it, after asking to look at some bombardier jackets.


You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles,...
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posted by RulerL0rd
Ghetto Names

Mostly populaire with the poorer sections of the communities in the United States, ghetto names are becoming plus common.
These are some ghetto names sent to us par our readers:

Aalissah , Aarionda , AbbyYoYo , Abcd , Abrianna , Adaizala , Aereana , Ajavalon , Akeebu , Akwante , Alamarion , Alashawndre , Alashema , Alezeisha , Aliciandra , Alveonta , Amabufu , Amanisha , Ambrisha , Amereazanisha , Amiracle , Amonteosha , Ananchalant , Anfernee , Angenique , Annestonisha , Antonyishia , Antwanae , Antwanique , Antwonisha , Anukware , Aquamaquisha , Aquanasia , Aquanetta , Aquaniqua ,...
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Found this on Google. Hope it makes ya laugh.

1. Set all the alarm clocks to go off in 10-minute intervals

2. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, “Code 3 in housewares,…”and see what happens.

3. Go to the Service bureau and ask to put a bag of M&M’s on lay away.

4. Find one of the workers who is making a pyramid ou a display of something and as soon as they are finished with it, ask for the thing that’s on the bottom and have a panic attack until they give it to you.

5. Get on the loud speaker and declare a “Going Out of Business Sale, All Items 99% Off”

6....
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added by youknowit101
Source: trollposts@tumblr
added by KateKicksAss
added by Rodz
Source: google.com
added by ladolcevita
Source: Hmmm... Um,well EW.com, Everglow, Mugglenet, me!, forgot the last
The montrer SpongeBob linked to attention problems and learning


The montrer SpongeBob SquarePants is pointed par a study which indicates that the viewing for only nine minutes of the montrer may cause short-term attention problems and learning in children four years.

Such problems have been observed in a study of 60 randomly selected children to watch SpongeBob ou Caillou, in which images change plus slowly, ou to draw in nine minutes.

Immediately after this activity, children were tested for mental function. And those who watched SpongeBob scored lower than others.

Previous studies had already established...
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previously on the Evil Teddy Bear: Jenni Peter and Tina were thinking of a way to find out who was trying to wreck their house then all of a sudden there was a noise and it was coming from Tina's room. Tina got mad cause she doesnt let ANYONE besides Peter and Jenni and herself in her room. she was about to stomp over to her room but Jenni stepped in front of her and tried to calm Tina down Peter helped out with trying to calm Tina down as well. Tina sighed calming down after that they all went to Tina's room when they opened the door they were all shocked Tina's cd's were all broken her paintings...
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I'm putting two funny articles together in one, hope toi enjoy it!

Some fun rules
1. I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.
2. I l’amour deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
3. Am I getting smart with you? How would toi know?
4. I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
5. Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.
6. There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
7. Tell me what toi need, and I'll tell you...
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