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if your life sucks
here's how to reprogram your mind
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posted by AlxanderRfan
I don’t know what makes toi so dumb but it really works.

Anybody who told toi to be yourself simply couldn’t have donné toi worse advice…

Hi there, I’m a human being! What are you?

Shouldn’t toi have a license for being that ugly?

Don’t let toi mind wander – it’s far too small to be let out on its own.

Are toi always this stupid ou are toi making a special effort today?

Sure, I’ve seen people like toi before – but I had to pay an admission.

If toi took an IQ test, the results would be negative.

Sure, I’d l’amour to help toi out…now, which way did toi come in?

Brains aren’t everything....
continue reading...
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Source: Google
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Source: markiplier
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added by edwardcarlisle
Source: listal
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added by RoohWinchester
I was born on a cacahuète, arachide plantation 62 secondes before my dad blinked for the kajillionth time. The turkeys played an orchestra piece called "Eat my shorts", par Bart Simpson. Homer was right there, eating a donut, when Marge walked in with a turkey baster. Immediately, the orchestra fled to Treasure Island to retrieve a '92 Toyota Corona. Then Sir Francis canard, drake showed up to ask me if I could cut his hair. He said, "I needeth a cuteth of my hair to impress Medusa." So I hopped on my hovercraft and grabbed my scissors. He gave me a pice of chocolat truquer, fudge cake as a reward. I suddenly needed my diaper changed, so I went to my mommy and said, "Mom, I made a cow pie. Either give me a new diaper, ou eat my patty." She patted my head and changed me. And that's all about the jour I was born.
added by ladycountry
added by GoldnSnitch_96
1.Stand at the counter and ask for everything that they give out free (including smiles)
2.Keep walking back and forth suspiciously and taking straws, 10 at a time
3.Put “out of order” signs on all their cashes
4.Change your mind whenever your total is donné to you
5.Take a chair and sit at the counter to eat
6.Only ask for ketchup. Do this at least 10 times.
7.Make an “important” phone call while you’re ordering. If they ask toi any questions tell them to be quiet.
8.Demand to get the smallest super-size meal they have
9.Throw ketchup packets at them from a distance. If they kick toi out...
continue reading...
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added by ace2000
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added by Jason_Voorhees