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This aléatoire fond d’écran might contain monterey cyprès, macrocarpa cupressus, monterey, cyprès, cupressus, macrocarpa, and cupressus macrocarpa.

added by TitanicLeoKate
Source: tumblr
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Source: ilol
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Source: icanrelate
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Source: tumblr
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posted by BlackSunshine
Something I got in an e-mail. Still pretty funny. Especially since I've done a few...

1. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, and then act embarrassed when they open par themselves.

2. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call toi Admiral.

3. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until toi hear the penny toi dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.

4. Do Tai Chi exercises.

5. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"

6. Meow occasionally....
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"We need" means "I want"

"It's your decision" means "The correct decision should be obvious par now"

"Do what toi want "means" You'll pay for this later

"We need to talk" means "I need to complain


"Sure...go ahead" means"I don't want toi to.

"I'm not upset"means "Of course I'm upset, toi moron."

"You're...so manly "means" toi need a shave and toi sweat a lot."

"You're certainly attentive tonight." means     "Is sex all toi ever think about?"

"I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting!" means     "I'm on my period."

"Be romantic, turn out the lights" means     "I...
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added by Ranty-cat
Source: Twitter
added by Riku114
added by iamjune
added by SilentForce
added by DeiJambastion
Source: Dei
added by tanyya
posted by Nick16
Why did I get divorced????

Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do toi mind if I goin to the bedroom for a minute?" "Okay," I said. She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling,"SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa... naked.
added by Mollymolata
added by shaneoohmac13
I l’amour skirts and dresses. They are so pretty. Every woman walks down looking good in them no matter who they are. I could wear any of those dresses and skirts that anyone from kim Kardashian wears to the jupe that older women wear across the street. I would wear one on a daily basis but there is a problem I'm a man.

Men can only wear trousers and shorts, if anyone sees a man in a jupe ou a dress it is considered wierd ou stupid. But is it? A vote i took on this club of 20 people, 75% a dit yes to say that men should wear womens clothes and still be men and I am one of them.

Most people would...
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