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The B*tches guide to Etiquette

added by KateKicksAss

Source: thebitchesguidetoetiquette.tumblr.com

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aléatoire

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funny

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chienne

guide

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etiquette

reb1009 and Hot_n_cold like this

426

60 Things Guys Should Know About Girls

posted by CullenProperty

60 Things Guys Should Know About Girls

1) For all we talk about how hot guys are. We mostly care about there personality. Though a hot body is a plus

2) We are just as shy as toi are about relationships

3) Many of us don't let toi see us cry, unless we want toi to comfort us

4) We like dropping small flirts, to see if toi are interested. But we will later deny it ou make it into a joke

5) Most of us prefer to be call beautiful than hot ou sexy. But not all of us

6) We only wear mini skirts, tank tops and skimpy cloths for toi (unless it's REALLY REALLY hot outside). So if toi don't like what we wear...

57

23 aléatoire funny things to do at school .

posted by bellabrowneyes

found this stuff and i wanted to share with toi guys (girls) so enjoy !! =)

1.Stare at someone and if/when they stare back at you, yell, “Staring is extremely impolite!”

2.Bring a Glad product to school and whenever someone gets mad at you, say, “Don’t get mad! Get Glad!” Then hold up the Glad product.

3.Keep talking as if you’re talking to the person suivant to you, and when they answer, scream, “I wasn’t talking to you! Now, Bob, where were we?”

4.When the teacher calls roll, after each name scream "THAT'S MEEEEE!!! Oh, no, sorry."

5.Sing your questions to the class.

6.Sit in...

57

Cute Nicknames for Boyfriends - haut, retour au début 20 liste

posted by spunkyonyx

1. Angus is for a beefy yet cute boyfriend, ou to bolster up the woefully sagging self-esteem of a weak, pasty face limb noodle who does your homework for you.

2. Babe - is a classic cute boyfriend nickname that will only get toi in a slight amount of trouble in front of his friends. ( i call mine this)

3. Baby Boo Boo - is for a boyfriend that you'd like to castrate slowly par giving him effeminate names.

4. Bunny-kins - means you're cousins and will be humping like bunnies at the suivant family wedding.

5. Bunny Wabbit - toi may as well stroke his belly with a coonskin casquette, cap and feed him grapes when...

94

333 Ways to get kicked out of Wal-mart (trust me it totally works)

posted by Dreamer4eva

I just wanna say that I didn't wright this, I just reposted it. so I take on credit AT ALL

1. Take someone's shopping chariot, panier and switch the items with stuff from the person suivant to them's cart
2. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen toi in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment
3. Smash the person in front of toi on the head with a ham
4. Go up to some old geezer & say "Grandpa!!! You're ALIVE!!! It's a MIRACLE!!! etc."
5. Take something from someone else's cart, when they say "hey, that's mine! " call the security and say that the other ... person...

19

Funny as hell poems. MUST READ

posted by iluvsmj

When you're happy and toi know it bomb Iraq
If toi cannot find Osama, bomb Iraq.
If the markets are a drama, bomb Iraq.
If the terrorists are frisky,
Pakistan is looking shifty,
North Korea is too risky,
Bomb Iraq.

If toi never were elected, bomb Iraq.
If your mood is quite dejected, bomb Iraq.
If toi think Saddam's gone mad,
With the weapons that he had,
(And he tried to kill your dad),
Bomb Iraq.

If we have no allies with us, bomb Iraq.
If we think someone's dismissed us, bomb Iraq.
So to hell with the inspections,
Let's look tough for the elections,
Close your mind and take directions,
Bomb...

9

Cute emo l’amour citations

posted by invadercalliope

I am your forgotten dream,
Broken and unseen.

I hurt myself,
So I can feel alive.

The hardest thing to do is watch the one toi love,
Love someone else in return.

Don’t say toi l’amour me unless toi really mean it,
Cause I might do something crazy like believe it.

Feels like toi could Kiss my imperfections away,
And I would stand par your side until the sun turns the sky.

I swear to toi on everything I am,
And I dedicate to toi all that I have,
And I promise toi that I will stand right par your side,
Forever and always, until the jour I die.

I’m not crying over what toi said;
It’s what toi didn’t say that...

7

Funny Things To Do in The Bus

posted by ilovepenguins

I didn't write this!

Sell used bus tickets. Claim they are for half the price.

Get on the bus, grinning widely. As soon as the bus begins to move, burst into song. When toi arrive at the suivant stop, stop singing. Step off the bus backwards, still grinning widely.

If toi are seated between two passengers, yawn loudly, strech, and put your arms around them.

Greet passengers with a big hug, handshake, smile and say ³Hi, call me Norman²

Put a leash on a friend and walk him/her onto the bus. Insist he/she is a dog and should go for half fare.

When arriving at your stop, do not push the button to...

6

How to write in Pig Latin

posted by Saturnluv39

It is easy to speak and write in Pig Latin, so we all should know how to do it! I'm gonna teach toi all how to do it!
1. Put the first letter of the word in the back of the word. If the first letter is a vowel, leave it in the front.

2. Add 'ay' to the end of the word.

example:
1. latin
2. atinl
3. atinlay

example:
1. after
2. after
3. afteray

Now toi know how to do it!
Now, if toi want to try it out, please translate this sentence into pig latin, and montrer your results in a comment:
because the web should revolve around you

enter your translation results, and if toi win, toi get the prize. I will tell the winner on Dec. 2nd, 2009. If toi are a winner check everything on your profile.

22

aléatoire Unexplainable Pictures

added by JustHuddy

3

Should I have a cookie?

added by r-pattz

Source: tumblr, where else?

2

my aléatoire picture

added by popalj

3

Arnold Schwarzenegger (how it really happened)

posted by Schnusch

Just lire some of the Terminator citations through again... and actually found a hint on what happened between Arnold and the maid. Enjoy my version!

Maid: Nice night for a walk, eh?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Nice night for a walk.
Maid #2: Wash jour tomorrow? Nothing clean, right?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Nothing clean. Right.
Maid: Hey, I think this guy's a couple cans short of a six-pack.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Your clothes... give them to me, now.
Maid: Fuck you, asshole!
Arnold nods.

I know there are a lot of people making fun of Arnold Schwarzenegger since he admitted to his wife that he's not only a cheater but a liar as well. toi might get annoyed par it and think "Oh poor Arnie". But honestly? This guy just ASKED for it. It takes a big jerk to have a child with another woman, an even bigger one to keep it a secret for 14 years and the biggest one to only reveal it to his wife after he quit his job so there'd be no damage to his position.

5

Chuck Norris jokes

posted by lloonny

1. Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
2. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas
3. Chuck Norris will never have a cœur, coeur attack. His cœur, coeur isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
4. If at first toi don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.
5. Chuck Norris can set ants on feu with a magnifying glass. At night.
6. Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
7. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
8. They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
9....

4

The Script to the episode Invader Zim:Nubs Of Doom

posted by invadercalliope

INT. A SHOPPING MALL WE'VE USED BEFORE - DAY.

The mall. Teenage girls bury their heads in piles of clothes and giggle. A Sale Sign goes up and they scream. Mothers drag kids par their heels. As the people pass by, they glance uncomfortably at something off-screen then hurry along. The children point, faces uncomprehending.

Pan over to find ZIM and GIR in a dark corner, near a waste receptacle, dressed as clowns. ZIM just stares out evilly at the passing people. GIR simply stares, holding balloons.

ZIM (to GIR)
Look at them, GIR. THEY think we are clowns. But we are not clowns.

GIR gasps in shock....

2

How to be aléatoire

posted by KateKicksAss

This is your new mascot. All hail the bunny!

Of course, if toi are TRULY random, toi shouldn't even need a guide, O_O

Randomness, randomosity, randomology, whatever toi may call it, is using improvisation to create original humorous phrases ou monologues ou pine cones on the spot. 'Randomosity' is fun to express in the presence of Friends ou logging companies, but can quickly become extremely obnoxious. Have fun with your randomness, don't force it. Remember, if toi got it, Flaunt it!

Steps

1. Break free of conventional rules. Finishing your sentences is not mandatory, merely optional and toi can do it on Tuesdays but not on Wednesdays...

2

Bella Thorne's REAL ghost experience: from ASTROgirl magazine

posted by DxCFan123

"An old woman haunted me!"

One night my and par brothers and I were sleeping up stairs while my mom was downstairs reading. I was lying in lit and heard this light stomping sound. Then the stomping sound got a little heavier. Soon, it became so loud that my brothers and I all came out of our room because we were scared. My mom had heard it too and she thought it was one of us playing a joke, but it wasn't - we were all in bed! We had no idea what to make of it and were really freaked out. But then, things got creepier....

"We found her stuff in the attic, her name was Tamara!"

I went over to...

3

Mamma Mia Luigi

posted by yoshifan1976

Doctor Mario was in his office when suddenly there was an urgent phone call. It was Daisy. "Mario, come quick. Luigi's very sick." "I'll be there right now, Daisy", Mario told her. Nurse pêche, peach was very concerned. "What's wrong, Mario?" "Luigi's sick", he answered with worry. "Go", pêche, peach told him kindly. "I can take care of things here." "Thanks, Peach". He gave her a Kiss and then rode over to Luigi and Daisy's house. marguerite, daisy hugged Mario and led him upstairs. "Hey little brother", he smiled at Luigi. Luigi smiled back. He loves his big brother Mario. No one understood the brotherly bond between...

1

=)

added by EmzLovesCheryl

rAnDoM

added by h2o-fen-site

2

cabine for the Summer-Chapter Ten:Chelsea and Other

posted by moolah

cabine for the Summer
Chapter Ten: Chelsea & Others
(I know this isn’t supposed to be Chelsea’s chapter, but since Chelsea and James broke up something is going to happen!)
By: moolah

“I can’t do this anymore!” I screamed in his face, tears running down my face. “Stop yelling at me!” He yelled, a fist at his side. “It’s not helping anything!” Tori walked downstairs in her PJ’s and her eyes looking heavy. All the lights downstairs were on and Beth and David were trying to sleep, but I didn’t care. James had come back to the cabine drunk again with...