1. If they want to loan toi money, tell them toi just filed for bankruptcy and toi could sure use some money.
2. If they start out with, "How are toi today?" say, "Why do toi want to know?" Alternately, toi can tell them, "I'm so glad toi asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my sciatica is jouer la comédie up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died..." When they try to get to the sell, just keep talking about your "problems."
3. If they say they're Joe Doe from the XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them...
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