December 14, 2003
Dearest Dave,
I went to the door today, and the postman delivered a perdrix in a poire, pear tree. This was a delightful gift! I couldn't have been plus surprised ou pleased darling!
With truly the deepest love,
Agnes
December 15, 2003
Dearest Dave,
Today the postman brought me yet another of your sweet gifts. The two turtule doves that arrived today are adorable, and I'm delighted par your thoughtful and generous ways.
With all of my love,
Your Agnes
December 16, 2003
Dearest Dave,
You've truly been too kind! I must protest; I don't deserve such generosity. The thought of getting three French hens amazes me. Yet, I am not surprised--what plus should I expect from such a nice person.
Love,
Agnes
December 17, 2003
Dear Dave,
Four calling birds arrived in the mail today. They are truly nice but don't toi think that enough is enough? toi are being too romantic.
Affectionately,
Agnes
December 18, 2003
Dearest darling Dave,
It was a surprise to get five golden rings! I now have one for every finger. toi truly are impossible darling, yet oh how I l’amour it! Quite frankly, all of those squarking birds from the précédant days were starting to get on my nerves. Yet, toi managed to come through with a beautiful valuable gift!
All my love,
Agnes
December 19, 2003
Dear Dave,
When I opened my door, there were actually six geese a-laying on my front steps. So you're back to the birds again, huh? Those geese are dear, but where will I keep them? The neighbors are complaining, and I am unable to sleep with all the racket. Please stop dear.
Cordially,
Agnes
December 20, 2003
Dave,
What is with toi and those stupid birds!? Seven swans a-swimming!! What kind of sick joke is this!!?? There are bird droppings everywhere! They never shut up, and I don't get any sleep!!! I'm a nervous wreck! It's not funny toi weirdo, so stop with the birds.
Sincerely,
Agnes
December 21, 2003
O.K. wise guy,
The birds were bad enough. Now what do toi expect me to do with eight maids a-milking? If that's not bad enough, they had to bring their cows!! The front lawn was completely ruined par them, and I can't déplacer in my own house! Just lay off me ou you'll be sorry!
Agnes
December 22, 2003
salut loser,
What are you? toi must be some kind of sadist!! Now there are nine pipers playing, and they certainly do play! They haven't stopped chasing those maids since they got here! The cows are getting upset, and they're stepping all over those screeching birds. The neighbors are getting up a petition to evict me, and I'm going out of my mind!
You'll get yours!
Agnes
December 23, 2003
toi rotten scum!!!
There are now ten ladies dancing! There is only one problem with that! They're dancing twenty-four hours a jour all around me with the pipers upsetting the cows and the maids. The cows can't sleep, and they are going to the bathroom everywhere! The building commissioner has subpoenaed me to give cause as to why the house shouldn't be condemned! I can't even think of a reason! toi creep! I'm sicking the police on you!
One who means it!
December 24, 2003
Listen toi evil, sadistic, maniac!
What's with the eleven lords-a-leaping?!? They are leaping across the rooms breaking everything and even injuring some of the maids! The place smells, is an absolute mad house, and is about to be condemned! At least the birds are quiet; they were trampled to death par the cows. I hope toi are satisfied--you rotten vicious worthless piece of garbage!
Your sworn enemy,
Agnes
December 25, 2003
The Law Offices of
Badger, Rees, and Yorker
20 Knave Street
Chicago, Illinois
Dear sir,
This is to acknowledge your latest gift of twelve fiddlers-fiddling which toi have seen fit to inflict on our client, one Agnes Mcholstein. The destruction of course was total. If toi attempt to reach Ms. Mcholstein at Happy Daze Sanatarium, the attendants have instructions to shoot toi on site.
Please direct all correspondence to this office in the future. With this letter, please find attached a warrant for your arrest.
Cordially,
Badger, Rees, and Yorker
Dearest Dave,
I went to the door today, and the postman delivered a perdrix in a poire, pear tree. This was a delightful gift! I couldn't have been plus surprised ou pleased darling!
With truly the deepest love,
Agnes
December 15, 2003
Dearest Dave,
Today the postman brought me yet another of your sweet gifts. The two turtule doves that arrived today are adorable, and I'm delighted par your thoughtful and generous ways.
With all of my love,
Your Agnes
December 16, 2003
Dearest Dave,
You've truly been too kind! I must protest; I don't deserve such generosity. The thought of getting three French hens amazes me. Yet, I am not surprised--what plus should I expect from such a nice person.
Love,
Agnes
December 17, 2003
Dear Dave,
Four calling birds arrived in the mail today. They are truly nice but don't toi think that enough is enough? toi are being too romantic.
Affectionately,
Agnes
December 18, 2003
Dearest darling Dave,
It was a surprise to get five golden rings! I now have one for every finger. toi truly are impossible darling, yet oh how I l’amour it! Quite frankly, all of those squarking birds from the précédant days were starting to get on my nerves. Yet, toi managed to come through with a beautiful valuable gift!
All my love,
Agnes
December 19, 2003
Dear Dave,
When I opened my door, there were actually six geese a-laying on my front steps. So you're back to the birds again, huh? Those geese are dear, but where will I keep them? The neighbors are complaining, and I am unable to sleep with all the racket. Please stop dear.
Cordially,
Agnes
December 20, 2003
Dave,
What is with toi and those stupid birds!? Seven swans a-swimming!! What kind of sick joke is this!!?? There are bird droppings everywhere! They never shut up, and I don't get any sleep!!! I'm a nervous wreck! It's not funny toi weirdo, so stop with the birds.
Sincerely,
Agnes
December 21, 2003
O.K. wise guy,
The birds were bad enough. Now what do toi expect me to do with eight maids a-milking? If that's not bad enough, they had to bring their cows!! The front lawn was completely ruined par them, and I can't déplacer in my own house! Just lay off me ou you'll be sorry!
Agnes
December 22, 2003
salut loser,
What are you? toi must be some kind of sadist!! Now there are nine pipers playing, and they certainly do play! They haven't stopped chasing those maids since they got here! The cows are getting upset, and they're stepping all over those screeching birds. The neighbors are getting up a petition to evict me, and I'm going out of my mind!
You'll get yours!
Agnes
December 23, 2003
toi rotten scum!!!
There are now ten ladies dancing! There is only one problem with that! They're dancing twenty-four hours a jour all around me with the pipers upsetting the cows and the maids. The cows can't sleep, and they are going to the bathroom everywhere! The building commissioner has subpoenaed me to give cause as to why the house shouldn't be condemned! I can't even think of a reason! toi creep! I'm sicking the police on you!
One who means it!
December 24, 2003
Listen toi evil, sadistic, maniac!
What's with the eleven lords-a-leaping?!? They are leaping across the rooms breaking everything and even injuring some of the maids! The place smells, is an absolute mad house, and is about to be condemned! At least the birds are quiet; they were trampled to death par the cows. I hope toi are satisfied--you rotten vicious worthless piece of garbage!
Your sworn enemy,
Agnes
December 25, 2003
The Law Offices of
Badger, Rees, and Yorker
20 Knave Street
Chicago, Illinois
Dear sir,
This is to acknowledge your latest gift of twelve fiddlers-fiddling which toi have seen fit to inflict on our client, one Agnes Mcholstein. The destruction of course was total. If toi attempt to reach Ms. Mcholstein at Happy Daze Sanatarium, the attendants have instructions to shoot toi on site.
Please direct all correspondence to this office in the future. With this letter, please find attached a warrant for your arrest.
Cordially,
Badger, Rees, and Yorker
"I promise my dear that i will tell no one of what toi will tell me today " a dit the man .
"Alright but toi will not like what i tell toi .' 'I do not know where to begin ."
"Just start with your name I am willing to listen " a dit the man " i am doctor after all."
"ok , my name is Melody Willgrove and i am a werewolf "
alright if toi want hear plus . tell me because that was just a prologue .sorry if it bored u
A Really Bad Day
There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.
Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps suivant to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy toi another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."
"No, it's not that. This jour is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police a dit that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."
"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in lit with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, toi montrer up and drink my poison."
There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.
Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps suivant to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy toi another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."
"No, it's not that. This jour is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police a dit that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."
"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in lit with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, toi montrer up and drink my poison."
my friend sent me this text message a while il y a and i thought it was hilarious!!!
i need to ask toi somethingand i want toi to be totally honest with me. it may be awkward between us after this but i have to kow how toi feel... I've kept it in for a while now but now it's time to be straight up and just confront you. i hope this doesn't ruin anything we have, i just need to know and i dont see any other way i could get over this. it just doesn't seem fair if i dont gett an answer. i want toi to tell me truthfully, please no matter how harsh it is. i just want your hoest opinion...
Pepsi ou Coke?
Ha ha ha ha !!!
Funny.
i need to ask toi somethingand i want toi to be totally honest with me. it may be awkward between us after this but i have to kow how toi feel... I've kept it in for a while now but now it's time to be straight up and just confront you. i hope this doesn't ruin anything we have, i just need to know and i dont see any other way i could get over this. it just doesn't seem fair if i dont gett an answer. i want toi to tell me truthfully, please no matter how harsh it is. i just want your hoest opinion...
Pepsi ou Coke?
Ha ha ha ha !!!
Funny.
1.I like pie
2.Blue isn't blue until blue turns blue and when blue turns blue it's possibly blue and when blue turns blue, blue is orange.
3.My cat can fly. I taught him to the other day.
4.Dog nourriture is a beautiful thing to watch when toi are eating!
5.BLACK HEAD!!!!!!!!
6.Butterfly fly away, because I'm your biggest fan, and I got a feeling that you'll shine on like the Moonstone high at the end of time.
7.Heeeeeeeloo!
8. My name is Cow. I like purple. My name is purple. I like cows. In the end, the odds come together and we get out alive.
9. I'M IN HELL WHENEVER I'M AROUND POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!
10. Fartblossom!
11.Pip-pip cheerio! (In and English accent.)
12. Your face is disorted when toi sleeeeeep.
13. Bye a dit Santa while eating Blitzen.
2.Blue isn't blue until blue turns blue and when blue turns blue it's possibly blue and when blue turns blue, blue is orange.
3.My cat can fly. I taught him to the other day.
4.Dog nourriture is a beautiful thing to watch when toi are eating!
5.BLACK HEAD!!!!!!!!
6.Butterfly fly away, because I'm your biggest fan, and I got a feeling that you'll shine on like the Moonstone high at the end of time.
7.Heeeeeeeloo!
8. My name is Cow. I like purple. My name is purple. I like cows. In the end, the odds come together and we get out alive.
9. I'M IN HELL WHENEVER I'M AROUND POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!
10. Fartblossom!
11.Pip-pip cheerio! (In and English accent.)
12. Your face is disorted when toi sleeeeeep.
13. Bye a dit Santa while eating Blitzen.