50 Fun things to do in a Grocery Store
1. Ask the produce manager if he happens to have any fresh Oompah Loompah fruit.
2. While holding a cantaloupe directly in front of your chest, squeeze it and smile dreamily.
3. Every time toi turn the corner with your shopping cart, shout “Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!”
4. Go up to the manager and tell him ou her that you’ve Lost your mommy.
5. While waiting in line at the checkout, juggle some lemons.
6. Tiptoe stealthily up and down the aisles – and around corners – with a magnifying glass.
7. While scratching frantically, ask the manager if he ou she has anything for body lice.
8. After visiting the bakery section, go up and down the aisles exclaiming, “My buns are squishy!”
9. While arguing with an invisible friend, toi proceed to play tug-of-war over an item.
10. Hold your nose while standing in line at the meat department.
11. Ask the deli clerk how much potato salade it would take for two people to comfortably wrestle in.
12. Fake cell phone conversation: “Doctor, I couldn’t possibly have malaria. That was weeks ago!”
13. Start doing a river dance in front of the corned beef.
14. Tell the checkout cashier that toi have to hurry, ou your spaceship will leave without you.
15. Tell the checkout bagger that toi knew him in a former life, and ask why he left without a note.
16. Ask someone if they saw your picture in the post office and remark that it was one of your best.
17. On a hot summer day, ask the manager if someone can help toi clean the snow from your car.
18. Tell a customer that you’re from the future and have just zapped back for an historic vacation.
19. Walk around holding a copy of the Scarlet Letter while sporting a big red “A”.
20. Ask a clerk if toi can test several types of deodorant before making a decision to buy one.
21. Using a stethoscope, listen intently to several coconuts in the produce aisle.
22. Tell one of the lobsters that you’ve brought the potion to turn him back into a man.
23. Run up to the fresh vegetables in the produce aisle and yell, “Boo!”
24. Play peek-a-boo with a little old lady while waiting in the checkout line.
25. When the clerk in the deli asks for your order, mime it.
26. Walk around smoking an invisible cigarette – and get great satisfaction from it.
27. Pretend to cook a meal using the pots and pans in the housewares aisle.
28. Bring a concealed whoopie cushion with toi and activate it every couple of minutes.
29. Ask if anyone has seen your pet snake – he was just in your pocket a minute ago.
30. While waiting in the deli line, pretend to read an invisible book – be sure to turn the pages.
31. Hold up a can of bug spray and ask someone what type of biscuit salé, craquelin would go best with it.
32. Shout out, “OK, who squeezed my melons?!”
33. If toi see someone offering samples, keep circling like a requin and snatch snacks at each pass.
34. Invite other customers to rejoindre toi in a game of limbo using a pepperoni stick.
35. Go up to a dead poisson on ice, sob and say, “We were supposed to be married on Saturday!”
36. In the middle of one of the aisles, scream, “Food fight!”
37. Stand in front of the ice cream freezer, look intently at it, and scream intermittently.
38. Squirm around a lot and shout, “Quick – where’s the hemorrhoid cream?”
39. Pick up bananas at random; act as though you’re on the phone and say, “Sorry, wrong number!”
40. Point accusingly at one of the cucumbers and say, “I thought I told toi to wait in the car!”
41. Holding a flea collar, ask a clerk how toi get the flea to hold still so that toi can put it on him.
42. Look for someone holding a jar of honey, and then explain that this is actually bee vomit.
43. Every time toi pass a particular type of meat, imitate the sound of the animal.
44. Walk down the aisles like a turkey, while opening your eyes as wide as physically possible.
45. As toi pass the lettuce, turn toward it, fold your arms and say, “You’re out of your head!”
46. Pick up a jar of pickled pig’s feet and – in a distraught voice – say, “Oh, no! It’s Babe!”
47. As toi pass people in the aisles, look startled and run in the opposite direction.
48. Bring a ventriloquist dummy and argue about what to buy for dîner as toi go through the store.
49. Tell the produce clerk that the bananas are fighting again, and that they’re all getting bruised.
50. Tell the manager to call for a clean-up in the laxative aisle.
1. Ask the produce manager if he happens to have any fresh Oompah Loompah fruit.
2. While holding a cantaloupe directly in front of your chest, squeeze it and smile dreamily.
3. Every time toi turn the corner with your shopping cart, shout “Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!”
4. Go up to the manager and tell him ou her that you’ve Lost your mommy.
5. While waiting in line at the checkout, juggle some lemons.
6. Tiptoe stealthily up and down the aisles – and around corners – with a magnifying glass.
7. While scratching frantically, ask the manager if he ou she has anything for body lice.
8. After visiting the bakery section, go up and down the aisles exclaiming, “My buns are squishy!”
9. While arguing with an invisible friend, toi proceed to play tug-of-war over an item.
10. Hold your nose while standing in line at the meat department.
11. Ask the deli clerk how much potato salade it would take for two people to comfortably wrestle in.
12. Fake cell phone conversation: “Doctor, I couldn’t possibly have malaria. That was weeks ago!”
13. Start doing a river dance in front of the corned beef.
14. Tell the checkout cashier that toi have to hurry, ou your spaceship will leave without you.
15. Tell the checkout bagger that toi knew him in a former life, and ask why he left without a note.
16. Ask someone if they saw your picture in the post office and remark that it was one of your best.
17. On a hot summer day, ask the manager if someone can help toi clean the snow from your car.
18. Tell a customer that you’re from the future and have just zapped back for an historic vacation.
19. Walk around holding a copy of the Scarlet Letter while sporting a big red “A”.
20. Ask a clerk if toi can test several types of deodorant before making a decision to buy one.
21. Using a stethoscope, listen intently to several coconuts in the produce aisle.
22. Tell one of the lobsters that you’ve brought the potion to turn him back into a man.
23. Run up to the fresh vegetables in the produce aisle and yell, “Boo!”
24. Play peek-a-boo with a little old lady while waiting in the checkout line.
25. When the clerk in the deli asks for your order, mime it.
26. Walk around smoking an invisible cigarette – and get great satisfaction from it.
27. Pretend to cook a meal using the pots and pans in the housewares aisle.
28. Bring a concealed whoopie cushion with toi and activate it every couple of minutes.
29. Ask if anyone has seen your pet snake – he was just in your pocket a minute ago.
30. While waiting in the deli line, pretend to read an invisible book – be sure to turn the pages.
31. Hold up a can of bug spray and ask someone what type of biscuit salé, craquelin would go best with it.
32. Shout out, “OK, who squeezed my melons?!”
33. If toi see someone offering samples, keep circling like a requin and snatch snacks at each pass.
34. Invite other customers to rejoindre toi in a game of limbo using a pepperoni stick.
35. Go up to a dead poisson on ice, sob and say, “We were supposed to be married on Saturday!”
36. In the middle of one of the aisles, scream, “Food fight!”
37. Stand in front of the ice cream freezer, look intently at it, and scream intermittently.
38. Squirm around a lot and shout, “Quick – where’s the hemorrhoid cream?”
39. Pick up bananas at random; act as though you’re on the phone and say, “Sorry, wrong number!”
40. Point accusingly at one of the cucumbers and say, “I thought I told toi to wait in the car!”
41. Holding a flea collar, ask a clerk how toi get the flea to hold still so that toi can put it on him.
42. Look for someone holding a jar of honey, and then explain that this is actually bee vomit.
43. Every time toi pass a particular type of meat, imitate the sound of the animal.
44. Walk down the aisles like a turkey, while opening your eyes as wide as physically possible.
45. As toi pass the lettuce, turn toward it, fold your arms and say, “You’re out of your head!”
46. Pick up a jar of pickled pig’s feet and – in a distraught voice – say, “Oh, no! It’s Babe!”
47. As toi pass people in the aisles, look startled and run in the opposite direction.
48. Bring a ventriloquist dummy and argue about what to buy for dîner as toi go through the store.
49. Tell the produce clerk that the bananas are fighting again, and that they’re all getting bruised.
50. Tell the manager to call for a clean-up in the laxative aisle.
1. Your lire my article.
2. You're wondering why you're even lire this.
4. toi didn't notice that I misspelled you're on #1
5. And you're checking back now
6. Nor did toi notice I skipped number three.
7. toi don't even feel like checking back this time. You'll take my word for it..
8. This is so stupid that toi silently chuckle to yourself.
9. Then toi realize that six isn't true because that doesn't make sense and that this is a rip off.
10. But toi remember that a fact is something that can be proven right ou wrong, so technically it was a fact.
11. toi wish toi never began to read this stupid stuff now but its still hard to stop.
13. I didn't catch toi with the missing number this time. ou did I?
14. toi wonder why I'm being such a smart butt.
15. But then again, my mind lire powers amaze you.
16. toi totally forgot I was only supposed to tell toi ten facts.
2. You're wondering why you're even lire this.
4. toi didn't notice that I misspelled you're on #1
5. And you're checking back now
6. Nor did toi notice I skipped number three.
7. toi don't even feel like checking back this time. You'll take my word for it..
8. This is so stupid that toi silently chuckle to yourself.
9. Then toi realize that six isn't true because that doesn't make sense and that this is a rip off.
10. But toi remember that a fact is something that can be proven right ou wrong, so technically it was a fact.
11. toi wish toi never began to read this stupid stuff now but its still hard to stop.
13. I didn't catch toi with the missing number this time. ou did I?
14. toi wonder why I'm being such a smart butt.
15. But then again, my mind lire powers amaze you.
16. toi totally forgot I was only supposed to tell toi ten facts.
Ring a Ring a Rosies,
a pocket full of posies
ATISHOO ATISHOO, we all fall down
Known to be a song about a ring of roses, little children chant in a row, then toi sneeze and toi fall down. Did toi ever play that game as a young child? Hold hands and dance in a circle?
Now for the reality.
This nursery rhyme is about the Black Plague.
Ring a ring a rosies - toi used to have large pinky red circles on your skin, this is how toi knew toi had the plague.
A pocket full of posies - People used to hold posies up to their nose to keep the smell of death away. They also believed that it would keep the plague away. (didn't work)
Atishoo Atishoo we all fall down - toi know what THAT means? if not that, people would sneeze and cough and you'd know that OHMYGOD WERE DYING! And you'd all fall down (basically, you've popped your clogs)
Some people think it is a very, haunting, creepy song if sung in a certain way other than the cheerful way.
Randomness lol.
a pocket full of posies
ATISHOO ATISHOO, we all fall down
Known to be a song about a ring of roses, little children chant in a row, then toi sneeze and toi fall down. Did toi ever play that game as a young child? Hold hands and dance in a circle?
Now for the reality.
This nursery rhyme is about the Black Plague.
Ring a ring a rosies - toi used to have large pinky red circles on your skin, this is how toi knew toi had the plague.
A pocket full of posies - People used to hold posies up to their nose to keep the smell of death away. They also believed that it would keep the plague away. (didn't work)
Atishoo Atishoo we all fall down - toi know what THAT means? if not that, people would sneeze and cough and you'd know that OHMYGOD WERE DYING! And you'd all fall down (basically, you've popped your clogs)
Some people think it is a very, haunting, creepy song if sung in a certain way other than the cheerful way.
Randomness lol.
ajl's user icon
I NOT HAS A PMS!!!!! - k.
Giggle Giggle went the lad’s,
For they were doing something bad,
What they were holding in their hands,
Oh, it was not the building plans!
Leaders of the building team,
Oh - so - sensible they seemed,
But what nobody else did see,
Was making them chuckle with glee!
One of them looked over his shoulder,
One of the men, the picture holder,
Just to make absolutely sure,
No one thought them immature.
When he saw the coast was clear,
Once plus at the picture did he peer,
And I’m sure par now you’re aware,
Exactly what that man saw there!
