1.If toi know that the guy is a Knicks fan, get front seats to a Knicks game and then prevent him from watching the final. Send him to the refreshments stand to get toi a coca instead, ensuring that he misses seeing that last crucial game-winning basket.

2.Take him to a chick flick marathon. If that isn't annoying enough, quizz him throughout the movie about what he's thinking. Ensure that a big beefy fan of Sleepless in Seattle gets annoyed and sweetly tell him that your boyfriend could wipe the floor with him. Only be comforting after the guy gets a black eye.

3.Let him cook dîner for you- his specialty of roast lamb. Then when he's proudly offering toi the meal he's slaved over all afternoon, toi start sobbing and say that toi wished toi ate meat. Then sing 'Mary Had A Little Lamb' and burst into fresh tears, until he offers to take toi to a vegetarian restaurant, where toi tell everyone within earshot that toi can't eat, because your boyfriend thinks you're fat.

4.Photoshop pictures of yourself together and create a family album. It doesn't matter that you've only just met- create pictures of your wedding and your two children.

5.Redecorate his apartment. Make sure that everything reflects your girly tastes, from the fluffy rose toilet siège cover to the collection of teddy bears.

6.Interrupt his long-awaited poker night. Cough pointedly until the boys put out their cigars. Take away the chips and sodas and offer them healthier snacks. Then tell everyone else what cards he has.

7.Make him excited and think he's going to another Knicks game when toi tell him toi have front siège tickets to something he'll really enjoy. He'll eventually find out that it's a Celine Dion concert.

8.Take him to couples therapy. Accuse him one moment of being gay. The suivant moment, accuse him of hitting on the (female) therapist.