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posted by Shelly_McShelly
1. "Do not look into laser with remaining eye." -- On a laser pointer.

2. "Do not use for drying pets." -- In the manual for a microwave oven.

3. "For use on animaux only." -- On an electric cattle prod.

4. "For use par trained personnel only." -- On a can of air freshener.

5. "Keep out of reach of children and teenagers." -- On a can of air freshener.

6. "Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you." -- On a motorcycle helmet-mounted rear-view mirror.

7. "Warning: Riders of personal watercraft may suffer injury due to the forceful injection of water into body cavities either par falling into the water ou while mounting the craft." -- In the manual for a jetski.

8. "Warning: Do not climb inside this bag and zip it up. Doing so will cause injury and death." -- A label inside a protective bag (for fragile objects), which measures 15cm par 15cm par 12cm.

9. "Do not use as ear plugs." -- On a package of silly putty.

10. "Please store in the cold section of the refrigerator." -- On a bag of fresh grapes in Australia.

11. "Warning: knives are sharp!" -- On the packaging of a sharpening stone.

12. "Not for weight control." -- On a pack of Breath Savers.

13. "Twist haut, retour au début off with hands. Throw haut, retour au début away. Do not put haut, retour au début in mouth." -- On the label of a bottled drink.

14. "Theft of this container is a crime." -- On a lait crate.

15. "Do not use intimately." -- On a tube of deodorant.

16. "Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice." -- On a box of rat poison.

17. "Fragile. Do not drop." -- posté on a Boeing 757.

18. "Cannot be made non-poisonous." -- On the back of a can of de-icing windshield fluid.

19. "Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage." -- On a portable stroller.

20. "Excessive dust may be irritating to shin and eyes." -- On a tube of agarose powder, used to make gels.

21. "Look before driving." -- On the dash board of a mail truck.

22. "Do not iron clothes on body." -- On packaging for a Rowenta iron.

23. "Do not drive car ou operate machinery." -- On Boot's children's cough medicine.

24. "For indoor ou outdoor use only." -- On a string of Christmas lights.

25. "Wearing of this vêtement does not enable toi to fly." -- On a child sized Superman costume.

26. "This door is alarmed from 7:00pm - 7:00am." -- On a hospital's outside access door.

27. "Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted." -- On a sign at a railroad station.

28. "Warning: do not use if toi have prostate problems." -- On a box of Midol PMS relief tablets.

29. "Product will be hot after heating." -- On a supermarché dessert box.

30. "Do not turn upside down." -- On the bottom of a supermarché dessert box.
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added by Aimee147
Source: Tumblr
added by MrOrange16
Source: funniest.1000notes.com
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added by TDI_Izzy
Source: Google
added by TDI_Izzy
Source: Google
posted by hetaliaitaly
He came into my life
when I was just a little boy
I was happy and young
And then he changed my world

One night I was in bed
And he came to say goodnight
except he took a little longer
before he turned out the light

He really hurt me that night
And I didn't know what to do
I thought it happened to most
well every little boy and girl

I lay in lit that night
Hurting inside and out
tears streaming down my face
I tried hard not to shout out

I put that tragic night
to the back of my head
playing games at school
there was nothing to be said

A an had passed along
and then it happened again
My mum was out at work
it was...
continue reading...
posted by Flutey_Girl96
Every male human spent the first six to eight weeks in the womb as a female, as the Y chromosome doesn't kick in until then. It is in this time period that breasts begin to develop, which is why men and boys have nipples (I think this may be the same for many mammals, such as dogs).

It took Leonardo da Vinci ten years to perfect Mona Lisa's lips. Also, using x-rays, it was discovered that there are three completely different versions under the Mona Lisa. Another one about this painting: The Mona Lisa has no eyebrows.

There is no or in the Australian "gold" coin.

A cat has 32 muscles in each...
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posted by Thecharliejay
Dear God,

I have a special offer for toi today.

Today's special offer is a used Lady Gaga AND a clean, unused Justin Bieber for the whopping price of only ONE Kurt Cobain! That's right God, trade our 2 *cough* most valued artists for only ONE Kurt Cobain!

But wait!-

If toi bring back Kurt within the next 30 minutes, toi also get a FREE complete and PURE set of the Jonas Brothers with it!

*Payment with Visa, MasterCard and PayPal. Talent not included
posted by karpach_13
Men don't rule the world!!!
Men don't rule the world!!!

If men really ruled the world,

1. Breaking up would be a lot easier.
A claque, smack to the butt and a "Nice hustle, you'll get'em suivant time" would pretty much do it.

2. Birth control would come in ale ou lager.

3. Valentine's jour would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in leap years.

4. On Groundhog Day, if toi saw your shadow, you'd get the jour off to go drinking. Mother's jour too.

5. St. Patrick's Day, however, would remain exactly the same. But it would be celebrated every month.

6. Garbage would take itself out.

7. Regis and Kathy...
continue reading...