Back in the good old days of the early 2000s, skateboarding was a big deal. It was hard to not hear a bunch of kids going around the city blasting Green jour as they were doing ollie over school stairs, which was the style at the time. Nowadays, skateboarding is kind of a dead medium and skateparks have become as ancient as the pyramids of Egypt. I was always amazed par the style of skateboarding ever since I played Tony Hawk. And today’s game… has absolutely nothing to do with any of the Tony Hawk games. No, instead we’re heading to the far off lands to the east. That’s right, a Japanese skateboarding game for the PS2 known as Yanya Caballista: City Skater…. That’s a fucking horrible name. But hey, I like skateboarding and the cover art has a really unique style to it, so maybe we’ll find something fun about this game- No.... This game sucks.
So Yanya Caballista was published par Koei Studios before they merged to form Koei Tecmo and was developed par Cave. The story is your usual skater story. The city gets invaded par a race of aliens called Gawoo but the aliens are able to be defeated when they get excited from tricks par the Caballista, a group of pro skaters…. Obviously. The story is not what toi are coming for. Tony Hawk’s Underground this game is not. Also, I don’t like that we gotta defeat these aliens par exciting them. No thanks to that. Anyway, my problems with the game start from the controls itself. Caballista was designed as a gimmick game for the PS2… so toi know, bad start. To play the game, toi have to hold the PS2 sideways. Here is a photo of what I mean, taken par yours truly.
Yes, this does make me feel like an asshole. toi get three different tricks in the game. A grab, a spin, and a flip. No Christ Airs ou McTwists here. toi can chain the moves together, but not much else. To déplacer forward, toi gotta déplacer both sticks forward, ou to the right. To spin, toi gotta déplacer both control sticks in opposite directions, like you’re turning the controller at a clockwise angle. It is so damn hard to ever pull off a spin with this control scheme. I just end up going into the air. To do a flip ou grab, just click the stick. This game was not designed for people with big hands like me. Thankfully, there is an option to use the controller like a normal person, and instead of flicking the sticks, toi use R1 and L1 to spin. Still janky to use, but at least I’m not destroying my hand with these awkward controls. You’re supposed to use a packaged in skateboard for your PS2 to play the game, but I bought my copy of hte game used, so no controller board. But it looks gaudy as hell and I doubt it would make my want to play the game in the intended way. This is all from the tutorial, par the way. Having to pull off these awkward tricks when I do the button combination and told to do it again really started to get on my nerves. Never have I gotten so frustrated at a game from the tutorial. But now that we’re done prancing on and off our board, let’s actually skate.
Moving onto the main game, toi have a character select screen, with three characters unlocked from the bat. Jet, the main character with the most power, most likely how he takes care of aliens. Max, who’s got all the base stats. And Mei Fa, the girl. She’s also the quickest of the group, which may be useful in some scenarios. Once we actually start the game, it starts to montrer some promise. mot-clé is some. The goal is to do tricks in front of the aliens where they can see you. As long as toi land a trick while they are looking, that will count. toi have to impress them long enough until they explode. Defeat all the aliens in the area before time runs out. Once they are defeated, plus areas of the level will unlock. Continue to do this until toi fight the boss. Beat the boss and déplacer on to the suivant level. That’s pretty much all of Yanya Caballista, aside from a few challenge modes where toi can unlock plus characters, but I’ll be damned if I do that. Any promise that this game may have is ruined par shitty controls. My problem with the game is that it is too floaty. There’s no weight to any of your skaters. When toi pull off a trick, they just hover in the air for a bit. I get that Jet Set Radio did that too, but toi at least had control while toi were falling. That wasn’t exactly realistic, like Caballista, but toi had control. In Yanya Caballista, once toi jump, trying to land on something like a ramp ou a railing is so difficult because only then is there some weight, but only when toi move. Falling is still weightless, but trying to déplacer is nigh impossible in midair. Good luck trying to land a rail in some levels to get up to an alien. It’s like trying to get thread in a needle. Oh, and pulling off tricks on the ramp can sometimes work, but sometimes, you’ll just witness your character slowly fall to the ground before eating asphalt. Sometimes toi land a trick perfectly despite doing it while hitting the ground, and other times, toi wipe out. This game wants to have its cake and fuck it too, it seems. It wants to be wacky and any but be real too. Either be Tony Hawk ou be Jet Set Radio. Don’t try to be both.
Now the aliens in this game aren’t that much of a threat. If toi eat shit on a trick, they’ll just laugh. No, your enemy is the goddamn time limit. It’s normal for extreme sports game to give toi a limited amount of time to pull off tricks, but Yanya Caballista is harsh with it. First two levels, nothing too bad. But Level 3 stops fucking around and pulls the rug out from under you. toi will have very little time to pull off tricks and in a game where toi need to be precise with your moves, this just adds plus stress onto you. It doesn’t help that levels are riddled with bombs and pitfalls. If toi hit a bomb ou fall off the map, the game takes time away from you, and toi need that time. And of course, while you’re picking yourself back up, the clock is still ticking down. Couldn’t me being knocked down be punishment enough? Do toi really gotta take off ten to thirty secondes off the clock. toi can pick up coins to get more, but toi can spend so much time on a single high level alien that takes so much combos to defeat that toi could have three hundred secondes and be left with fifty. And once the bosses come in, just fuck it. The third level boss was the biggest pain in the cul, ass of them all. I collected as many coins as I could and memorized the entire map before I got to the fight and had three hundred secondes to beat the boss. Not too bad. But the boss would just run back and forth around the level, dropping bombs at random. He would stop for a seconde so I could do a kickflip and lower his health, but nine times out of ten, it was a trap. He would just set up bombs and blow me up. Before I knew it, my three hundred secondes were fucking gone. And I was doing tricks perfectly and yet still wiping out in front of him, doing no damage and wasting plus time. Oh, and if toi fail a trick while he’s dropping bombs, have mercy. You’re losing time from repeated bombs dropping. I was stun locked in this and ended up losing sixty secondes because I couldn’t move. Before I knew it, I failed and had to start the entire level all over again. Needless to say, I was ready to throw the game in the fucking trash.
The game isn’t all bad, of course. For instance, the style of this game is amazing. All of these characters have this 2000s animé style to them. Characters look so bizarre but charming in so many ways. Sure, they look better in art than in real game visuals some times, but they are all still very unique designs. The world map is also interesting, having all sorts of bizarre levels in the city that give it an urban vibe. Some people find city settings in fantaisie worlds lame, but I always l’amour crazy events happening in urban settings that are not unlike the ones we go in every day. My favori detail is in the instructions booklet where each character has their own skateboard designs, and they all look really cool. If I saw this art on a skateboard, I’d be impressed. I’d really like to see these characters and this world come back in a comic book, ou a manga, ou something. My only problem is that I hate everything about this game from a gameplay perspective. I’d like to see plus of these characters and yet I never want to play this game ever again. I wish I knew who the artist for this game was, and I do hope he ou she was well compensated for his ou her work and hope they are still doing some work today.
Wow, what a great start to this little series. Will this one thrive ou will I get bored of it and kill it off in a few months? I dunno. But Yanya Caballista. What a frustrating game that deserved to be forgotten. So let’s give this game it’s reward. I give this game the Style Over Substance reward. It’s got a cool look to it and the attention to detail to each skaters board is great, but the game only has style going for it. Everything else is a frustrating mess and not a fun time for anyone. If toi want a good skateboarding game, go and play Tony Hawk. And if toi want an extreme sports game with style, play Jet Set Radio. And if toi want a stylish skating game, then give Ollie King a try (In Japon only, sadly). Please stay tuned when I talk about something much better…. I promise.
So Yanya Caballista was published par Koei Studios before they merged to form Koei Tecmo and was developed par Cave. The story is your usual skater story. The city gets invaded par a race of aliens called Gawoo but the aliens are able to be defeated when they get excited from tricks par the Caballista, a group of pro skaters…. Obviously. The story is not what toi are coming for. Tony Hawk’s Underground this game is not. Also, I don’t like that we gotta defeat these aliens par exciting them. No thanks to that. Anyway, my problems with the game start from the controls itself. Caballista was designed as a gimmick game for the PS2… so toi know, bad start. To play the game, toi have to hold the PS2 sideways. Here is a photo of what I mean, taken par yours truly.
Yes, this does make me feel like an asshole. toi get three different tricks in the game. A grab, a spin, and a flip. No Christ Airs ou McTwists here. toi can chain the moves together, but not much else. To déplacer forward, toi gotta déplacer both sticks forward, ou to the right. To spin, toi gotta déplacer both control sticks in opposite directions, like you’re turning the controller at a clockwise angle. It is so damn hard to ever pull off a spin with this control scheme. I just end up going into the air. To do a flip ou grab, just click the stick. This game was not designed for people with big hands like me. Thankfully, there is an option to use the controller like a normal person, and instead of flicking the sticks, toi use R1 and L1 to spin. Still janky to use, but at least I’m not destroying my hand with these awkward controls. You’re supposed to use a packaged in skateboard for your PS2 to play the game, but I bought my copy of hte game used, so no controller board. But it looks gaudy as hell and I doubt it would make my want to play the game in the intended way. This is all from the tutorial, par the way. Having to pull off these awkward tricks when I do the button combination and told to do it again really started to get on my nerves. Never have I gotten so frustrated at a game from the tutorial. But now that we’re done prancing on and off our board, let’s actually skate.
Moving onto the main game, toi have a character select screen, with three characters unlocked from the bat. Jet, the main character with the most power, most likely how he takes care of aliens. Max, who’s got all the base stats. And Mei Fa, the girl. She’s also the quickest of the group, which may be useful in some scenarios. Once we actually start the game, it starts to montrer some promise. mot-clé is some. The goal is to do tricks in front of the aliens where they can see you. As long as toi land a trick while they are looking, that will count. toi have to impress them long enough until they explode. Defeat all the aliens in the area before time runs out. Once they are defeated, plus areas of the level will unlock. Continue to do this until toi fight the boss. Beat the boss and déplacer on to the suivant level. That’s pretty much all of Yanya Caballista, aside from a few challenge modes where toi can unlock plus characters, but I’ll be damned if I do that. Any promise that this game may have is ruined par shitty controls. My problem with the game is that it is too floaty. There’s no weight to any of your skaters. When toi pull off a trick, they just hover in the air for a bit. I get that Jet Set Radio did that too, but toi at least had control while toi were falling. That wasn’t exactly realistic, like Caballista, but toi had control. In Yanya Caballista, once toi jump, trying to land on something like a ramp ou a railing is so difficult because only then is there some weight, but only when toi move. Falling is still weightless, but trying to déplacer is nigh impossible in midair. Good luck trying to land a rail in some levels to get up to an alien. It’s like trying to get thread in a needle. Oh, and pulling off tricks on the ramp can sometimes work, but sometimes, you’ll just witness your character slowly fall to the ground before eating asphalt. Sometimes toi land a trick perfectly despite doing it while hitting the ground, and other times, toi wipe out. This game wants to have its cake and fuck it too, it seems. It wants to be wacky and any but be real too. Either be Tony Hawk ou be Jet Set Radio. Don’t try to be both.
Now the aliens in this game aren’t that much of a threat. If toi eat shit on a trick, they’ll just laugh. No, your enemy is the goddamn time limit. It’s normal for extreme sports game to give toi a limited amount of time to pull off tricks, but Yanya Caballista is harsh with it. First two levels, nothing too bad. But Level 3 stops fucking around and pulls the rug out from under you. toi will have very little time to pull off tricks and in a game where toi need to be precise with your moves, this just adds plus stress onto you. It doesn’t help that levels are riddled with bombs and pitfalls. If toi hit a bomb ou fall off the map, the game takes time away from you, and toi need that time. And of course, while you’re picking yourself back up, the clock is still ticking down. Couldn’t me being knocked down be punishment enough? Do toi really gotta take off ten to thirty secondes off the clock. toi can pick up coins to get more, but toi can spend so much time on a single high level alien that takes so much combos to defeat that toi could have three hundred secondes and be left with fifty. And once the bosses come in, just fuck it. The third level boss was the biggest pain in the cul, ass of them all. I collected as many coins as I could and memorized the entire map before I got to the fight and had three hundred secondes to beat the boss. Not too bad. But the boss would just run back and forth around the level, dropping bombs at random. He would stop for a seconde so I could do a kickflip and lower his health, but nine times out of ten, it was a trap. He would just set up bombs and blow me up. Before I knew it, my three hundred secondes were fucking gone. And I was doing tricks perfectly and yet still wiping out in front of him, doing no damage and wasting plus time. Oh, and if toi fail a trick while he’s dropping bombs, have mercy. You’re losing time from repeated bombs dropping. I was stun locked in this and ended up losing sixty secondes because I couldn’t move. Before I knew it, I failed and had to start the entire level all over again. Needless to say, I was ready to throw the game in the fucking trash.
The game isn’t all bad, of course. For instance, the style of this game is amazing. All of these characters have this 2000s animé style to them. Characters look so bizarre but charming in so many ways. Sure, they look better in art than in real game visuals some times, but they are all still very unique designs. The world map is also interesting, having all sorts of bizarre levels in the city that give it an urban vibe. Some people find city settings in fantaisie worlds lame, but I always l’amour crazy events happening in urban settings that are not unlike the ones we go in every day. My favori detail is in the instructions booklet where each character has their own skateboard designs, and they all look really cool. If I saw this art on a skateboard, I’d be impressed. I’d really like to see these characters and this world come back in a comic book, ou a manga, ou something. My only problem is that I hate everything about this game from a gameplay perspective. I’d like to see plus of these characters and yet I never want to play this game ever again. I wish I knew who the artist for this game was, and I do hope he ou she was well compensated for his ou her work and hope they are still doing some work today.
Wow, what a great start to this little series. Will this one thrive ou will I get bored of it and kill it off in a few months? I dunno. But Yanya Caballista. What a frustrating game that deserved to be forgotten. So let’s give this game it’s reward. I give this game the Style Over Substance reward. It’s got a cool look to it and the attention to detail to each skaters board is great, but the game only has style going for it. Everything else is a frustrating mess and not a fun time for anyone. If toi want a good skateboarding game, go and play Tony Hawk. And if toi want an extreme sports game with style, play Jet Set Radio. And if toi want a stylish skating game, then give Ollie King a try (In Japon only, sadly). Please stay tuned when I talk about something much better…. I promise.
salut everybody there''s a contest on here that the kings of parodies The Nyackers are doing it's about that song All about that basse, bass par Meghan Trainor. If u do this they will make a fan club about u and make the article their own. But their are rules no copying their articles, no insulting people like someone else did and It needs to be Original. so if u have funny lyrics to this song then par all means come par take in this contest but hurry up it ends Halloween eve. ou U can make a spoof about it either way if u par take in this u MUST start It Immediately to have a chance to win so work fast if ur in. I was first so U have to try and haut, retour au début me.
1. Your grandpa's horse's dandruff is in the shower.
2. The raisins on the counter are crunchy.
3. toi can stuff a oreiller with the rat fourrure on the canapé alone.
4. Your nightstand is jammed with garbage from middle school.
5. Clay dust from your old arts-and-crafts project is in your AC.
6. There are a hundred roach-sized headstones littering your cabinets.
7. Your cleaning supplies are only in your closet for show.
8. People hit the gas every time they drive down your street.
9. There's a dust bunny colony in your sheet.
10. toi don't even have much of a sheet anymore.
(At least five of these are from personal experience. Pictures would be appalling here.)
2. The raisins on the counter are crunchy.
3. toi can stuff a oreiller with the rat fourrure on the canapé alone.
4. Your nightstand is jammed with garbage from middle school.
5. Clay dust from your old arts-and-crafts project is in your AC.
6. There are a hundred roach-sized headstones littering your cabinets.
7. Your cleaning supplies are only in your closet for show.
8. People hit the gas every time they drive down your street.
9. There's a dust bunny colony in your sheet.
10. toi don't even have much of a sheet anymore.
(At least five of these are from personal experience. Pictures would be appalling here.)
~ barium tetraiodomercurate
~ barium hexafluorosilicate
~ beryllium acetylacetonate
~ barium pyrovanadate
~ dichlorodifluoromethanefreon
~ trichloromethanemethyl trichloride
~ dimethylsulfoniopropionate
~ tetrahydrocannabinol
~ nitridotriphosphorous hexafluoride
~ pentafluorosulfanyldifluoroamine
~ aluminium-gallium-indium phosphide
~bismuth nitrate pentahydrate
~ tetrafluoroethylene
~ bromoisobutyric acid
~ cyclopentadienyl anion
~ acetylbutyric acid
~ butyl glyoxylate
~ hydroxypropyl acrylate
~ propyl pyruvate
~ decaprenoastaxanthin
~ barium hexafluorosilicate
~ beryllium acetylacetonate
~ barium pyrovanadate
~ dichlorodifluoromethanefreon
~ trichloromethanemethyl trichloride
~ dimethylsulfoniopropionate
~ tetrahydrocannabinol
~ nitridotriphosphorous hexafluoride
~ pentafluorosulfanyldifluoroamine
~ aluminium-gallium-indium phosphide
~bismuth nitrate pentahydrate
~ tetrafluoroethylene
~ bromoisobutyric acid
~ cyclopentadienyl anion
~ acetylbutyric acid
~ butyl glyoxylate
~ hydroxypropyl acrylate
~ propyl pyruvate
~ decaprenoastaxanthin
I'm back again! I'm reviewing Godzilla 2014!
Plot: Godzilla must defeat the evil MUTO, with the help of scientists and soldiers.
This movie...is one of the most films of 2014! The effects were beautiful, the fights were amazing, and everything was just awesome!
Score: 5/5
Music: The score was amazing...the Shakuhachi made the atmosphere feel great!
Score: 5/5
Characters(Heroes): While I will admit that Godzilla doesn't appear til' about 45 minutes in. And the human characters are alright. Ken Watanabe plays probably the most awesome scientist ever!
Score: 4/5
Characters(Villains): The MUTOs are both amazing! Its a great display of Sexual Dimorpisim (The Male MUTO can fly, and the Female MUTO has eight legs).
Score: 4/5
Final Thoughts: If toi want to start watching Godzilla movies, put this on the list!
Final Score: 18/20
Would I recommend it? YES
Plot: Godzilla must defeat the evil MUTO, with the help of scientists and soldiers.
This movie...is one of the most films of 2014! The effects were beautiful, the fights were amazing, and everything was just awesome!
Score: 5/5
Music: The score was amazing...the Shakuhachi made the atmosphere feel great!
Score: 5/5
Characters(Heroes): While I will admit that Godzilla doesn't appear til' about 45 minutes in. And the human characters are alright. Ken Watanabe plays probably the most awesome scientist ever!
Score: 4/5
Characters(Villains): The MUTOs are both amazing! Its a great display of Sexual Dimorpisim (The Male MUTO can fly, and the Female MUTO has eight legs).
Score: 4/5
Final Thoughts: If toi want to start watching Godzilla movies, put this on the list!
Final Score: 18/20
Would I recommend it? YES
Hi I'm back! And today I shall be reviewing Maleficent!
Plot: The evil Maleficent returns in this modern re-telling of Sleeping Beauty!
This movie should not have been called a "Re-Telling", it's completely different! Why did they make Maleficent the hero?! And the ending made no sense!
Score: 2/5
Music: Now I'll admit it, I thought the musique was so-so. I liked "Once Upon a Dream" was pretty good.
Score: 3/5
Characters(Heroes): I thought that Elle Fanning was adorable as Aurora. And Brenton Thwaites was a pretty good Prince Phillip. The 3 Fairy Godparents were annoying.
Score: 3/5
Characters(Villains): I thought it was an odd choice picking Angelina Jolie to play Maleficent. The odd thing was I never felt sorry for her. She curses an infant for Godzilla's sake!
Score: 1/5
Final Thoughts: If toi are into villains being shown as heroes, this movie is for you. For anyone else, no.
Final Score: 9/20
Would I recommend it? NO
Plot: The evil Maleficent returns in this modern re-telling of Sleeping Beauty!
This movie should not have been called a "Re-Telling", it's completely different! Why did they make Maleficent the hero?! And the ending made no sense!
Score: 2/5
Music: Now I'll admit it, I thought the musique was so-so. I liked "Once Upon a Dream" was pretty good.
Score: 3/5
Characters(Heroes): I thought that Elle Fanning was adorable as Aurora. And Brenton Thwaites was a pretty good Prince Phillip. The 3 Fairy Godparents were annoying.
Score: 3/5
Characters(Villains): I thought it was an odd choice picking Angelina Jolie to play Maleficent. The odd thing was I never felt sorry for her. She curses an infant for Godzilla's sake!
Score: 1/5
Final Thoughts: If toi are into villains being shown as heroes, this movie is for you. For anyone else, no.
Final Score: 9/20
Would I recommend it? NO
Rant 2: Geewuners!
I'm baaack!
Here's something that annoys me: Geewuners!
If you're new to the concept, Geewuners are people who are fans of Transformers G1 and think that everything is crap! Not all G1 fans are Geewuners, as I like G1 myself. But the difference between me and Geewuners is that I like Armada, Beast Wars, Beast Wars 2, Beast Wars Neo, Beast Machines, Robots in Disguise, Cybertron, Energon, Bayformers, Prime, and Go!
I know that they want to keep their "Nostalgia", but come on, it's not just for you. Just ask the millions of people who watch and buy Micheal Bay's Transformers.
On a different note, people should open their minds to the Transformers 4 Dinobots. I know they're not G1 Dinobots, but their not supposed to be!
I just think that Geewuners should open their minds to other series.
I'm baaack!
Here's something that annoys me: Geewuners!
If you're new to the concept, Geewuners are people who are fans of Transformers G1 and think that everything is crap! Not all G1 fans are Geewuners, as I like G1 myself. But the difference between me and Geewuners is that I like Armada, Beast Wars, Beast Wars 2, Beast Wars Neo, Beast Machines, Robots in Disguise, Cybertron, Energon, Bayformers, Prime, and Go!
I know that they want to keep their "Nostalgia", but come on, it's not just for you. Just ask the millions of people who watch and buy Micheal Bay's Transformers.
On a different note, people should open their minds to the Transformers 4 Dinobots. I know they're not G1 Dinobots, but their not supposed to be!
I just think that Geewuners should open their minds to other series.
Again Disney has wrapped its magical fairy hands around this tale making it two movies, when in reality this tale is quite short.
There is a young girl, who is working out in the fields. Her sandale, sandal falls off and a eagle (or hawk) then picks up the shoe. She chases after it leaving her family just for the shoe, which the bird drops on the kings lap. The king orders her beheaded but sees her beauty and declares her his wife, also ending in forced child birth of several sons.
(Have yet to find how she dies.)
There is a young girl, who is working out in the fields. Her sandale, sandal falls off and a eagle (or hawk) then picks up the shoe. She chases after it leaving her family just for the shoe, which the bird drops on the kings lap. The king orders her beheaded but sees her beauty and declares her his wife, also ending in forced child birth of several sons.
(Have yet to find how she dies.)