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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Welcome to the block. And now for your hosts, Master Sword, and Tom Foolery.

Audience: *Cheering, clapping, and whistling*
Master Sword & Tom Foolery: *Standing in front of a house*
Tom: How is everypony doing today?
Audience: Good.
Master Sword: That word is used too often. Not only does it describe the way you're feeling, but it also describes... Ah, forget it.
Tom: Save the screw ups for the bloopers, okay?
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: We have a special guest on our montrer today, and his name is Nocturnal Mirage.
Audience: *Cheering*
Mirage: *Arrives*
Master Sword: Hey, good to see toi again.
Mirage: Thanks mate. May I?
Tom: Go ahead.
Mirage: Today's crossover parody, Jack Reacher And The Beanstalk.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Tom Cruise climbs up a beanstalk, and kills people.
Audience: *Laughing*

Jack Reacher And The Beanstalk

Starring Nocturnal Mirage as Jack Reacher
Master Sword as the giant
Snow Wonder as Helen Rodin
Cosmic arc en ciel as Alex Rodin

Helen: We got plus reports of the giant attacking our town.
Jack: Are toi sure it's not Godzilla?
Audience: *Light laughter*
Helen: I a dit giant. Not monster.
Jack: Monsters are giants. Ask anyone. *Points at Alex* salut Alex, is a monster a giant?
Alex: Yes.
Helen: No it's not.
Jack: Yeah it is. plus ponies are saying it is, so you're wrong.
Helen: If plus ponies a dit World War 2 never existed, would toi believe them?
Audience: *Laughing*
Jack: I think toi should shut up, and I'm gonna go stop the monster. *Walks away*

Later, Jack got outside, and looked up in the sky.

Jack: If I'm going to stop that monster, I need to get to him. How am I going to do that?

A big seed fell from the sky.

Jack: *Moves out of the way* Predictable. I mean, we are parodying Jack & The Beanstalk.
Audience: *Laughing*

A big beanstalk started growing.

Jack: And now is my cue to climb onto this thing. *Jumps onto a leaf, and begins climbing to the top* I should get there sometime soon.

7 hours later

Audience: *Laughing*
Jack: *Gets to the haut, retour au début of the beanstalk* Okay giant. *Grabs a sniper rifle, and looks around the clouds* Where are you? *Sees a big castle* In there. *Runs to the castle*

9.5 hours later.

Audience: *Laughing*
Jack: Ugh. *Leaning on the door* Why am I so tiny compared to everything else in this world?
Audience: *Laughing*
Jack: *Goes into the castle*
Giant: *Sleeping in front of a TV set*
Jack: Hey, giants aren't supposed to have television!
Audience: *Laughing*
Giant: *Wakes up*
Jack: Maybe I shouldn't have a dit that outloud.
Giant: Fee fi fo fum. I smell.. *Sniffs his hoof* Actually, I don't know what I smell.
Audience: *Laughing*
Jack: *Shoots the giant*
Giant: You're crazy. Miniature bullets won't kill me.
Jack: Then what will?
Giant: Not telling.
Jack: *Runs back to the beanstalk* This is probably going to take another 9, and a half hours!
Audience: *Laughing*
Giant: *Chasing Jack*
Jack: *Losing his balance* Whoa. *Falls through a cloud*
Giant: *Jumps, and chases Jack*
Jack: *Grabs hold of the beanstalk*
Giant: *Grabs the beanstalk, and is below Jack* Wait a minute. Aren't I supposed to be above you?
Jack: Does it matter?
Giant: No.
Jack: Then shut up.
Audience: *Laughing*
Giant: *Loses his footing, and falls*
Jack: Finally. Glad that's over. Can we end this now?

The End

On the suivant part of this episode

Nocturnal Mirage plays Gran Turismo 6.

Theme Song: link

Master Sword: Come on Tom, let's go meet the others.
Tom: Right behind you.
Double Scoop: *Standing on rue corner*
Aina: *Runs out of her house*
Sunny: Hey, wait for me. *Flying in the middle of the street*
Saten Twist: *Polishing his chain saw, but stops to go meet the others*
Pleiades: *Arrives at corner*
Mortomis: *Standing suivant to Double Scoop*
Tom: plus ponies!!
Snow Wonder: *Arrives in a brand new Corvette*
Cosmic Rainbow: *Flies from the clouds*
Heartsong: *Climbs out of a manhole*
Annie: *Arrives on a bicycle*
Blaze: *Flies out of a house window, and lands suivant to Tom*
Sophie Shimmer: *Gets off of a slow moving bus*
Astrel Sky: *Appears out of nowhere with magic*
Sean: *Lands behind Astrel Sky with a parachute*
All: We live together on the block!
Audience: *Clapping*
Announcer: Okay, stop the song! We need to keep this thing rolling.
Audience: *Laughing*

Episode 18: None Of Your Business

Nocturnal Mirage was at Sean's house with Tom, Master Sword, Mortomis, Annie, and Heartsong.

Mirage: How many Playstations do toi have?
Sean: Sixteen. That way, when we all play Gran Turismo 6, we can race each other.
Master Sword: No we can't. divisé, split screen mode is for two players only.
Mirage: Are toi always an idiot, ou are toi just having a bad day?
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: What he's talking about, is that we can all play online, using these Playstations.
Master Sword: Oh, I get it. Sixteen Playstations, so that we can all play online in the same room. Smart idea.
Sean: I came up with it, so of course it's a smart idea.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mirage: Okay, that wasn't even funny.
Tom: Hey! Don't insult my show!!!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Sean: Fellas, are we gonna play, ou what?
Mortomis: I'm tired of hearing toi argue all the time. Let's race for crying out loud.
Sean: He's right, we need to race. *Selects his car* I will choose the 1969 Corvette Stingray.
Annie: Regular, ou convertible.
Sean: Regular, it's faster.
Mirage: I'm going to take a Nascar Ford Fusion.
Sean: You, and your Fords. That's all toi choose in this game.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: I'm getting the Maserati.
Heartsong: Which one?
Tom: The only one in the game.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: I'm getting a Toyota Supra race car.
Annie: You, and Nocturnal are the only ones that have race cars so far.
Mortomis: I'm gonna choose the Cadillac CTS.
Annie: My car will be the Corvette as well, but a 2009 ZR1.
Heartsong: And I'm using the BMW M4 Safety car.
Tom: What track are we going to use?
Sean: I think we'll race on Special Stage X.
Master Sword: Don't do that. The track is an oval, and it would be perfect for Mirage.
Mirage: Yes, I do have a Nascar after all.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sean: It wouldn't be perfect for Mirage, because instead of turning left, you'll have to turn right.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mirage: WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!!?
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Special guest stars are not allowed to shout.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sean: Two laps sound okay?
Ponies: Yeah.
Tom: *Looks at the reader* Find out who wins this race in part 5 of this episode. We're gonna start off our skits now, and the first one will be Celebrity Jeopardy, so don't go away.
Audience: *Clapping*

Our cast for this Celebrity Jeopardy skit is

Saten Twist - Alex Trebek (He wears a white wig, a fake white mustache, and his cutie mark has been changed to a game montrer wheel.)
Sean the hedgehog as himself (He's a famous war hero.)
Double Diamond as French Stewart
and special guest star, Nocturnal Mirage as Tom Selleck

Audience: *Clapping*
Alex: Welcome back to Celebrity Jeopardy. Before we begin the double jeopardy round, I'd like to remind our contestants once again, to please refrain from using ethnic slurs.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: That said, let's take a look at the scores. Sean the hedgehog has set a new jeopardy record with negative $230,000.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sean: toi think you're pretty smart, don't toi Trebek? With your dago mustache, and your greasy mane!
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Look! What did I just say about using ethnic slurs?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: From 3rd Rock From The Sun, French Stewart, in seconde place with negative $17,000.
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
French: *Has his eyes closed. He does this everytime he talks* I'm a late bloomer Alex, and in double jeopardy, I'm gonna bloom.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: *Annoyed* Sure toi will. And finally, in his seconde appearance, Tom Selleck in a commanding lead with 14 dollars.
Tom: Hey. *Points to his podium* Hey, check out the podium. Look at this.
Alex: Mr. Selleck has apparently changed his name to Turd Ferguson.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Yeah that's right. Turd Ferguson, it's a funny name.
Alex: *Very annoyed*
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: great. Let's take a look at the final board. And the categories are

Potent Potables
Sharp Things
films That Start With The Word Jaws
A Petit Dejane

Alex: That category is about french phrases, so we'll just skip that one.
Tom: salut uh, I speak a little french. You're an asswipe, pardon my french.
Audience: *Laughing*
French: *Sad* My name's French.
Tom: Yeah, well who gives a damn?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Moving on.

Animal Sounds
Condiments
And finally, your ass, ou hole in the ground.

Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Mr. Selleck, unfortunately, you're in the lead, so we'll start with you.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Yeah I'll take the uh condom thing for 8,000.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: That's condiments!
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: For 400. This condiment is made from mustard seeds.
French: *Rings in*
Alex: French Stewart?
French: The answer of course is onions. I'll take condiments for 800, thank toi very much.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: That's not the right answer.
Tom: *Rings in*
Alex: Tom Selleck.
Tom: Eh, that's not my name.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Okay, Turd Ferguson.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Yeah, what do toi want?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: toi buzzed in.
Tom: No I didn't.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Yes toi did.
Tom: Yeah, well that's your opinion.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: I hate my job.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: The answer was mustard. Mustard is made from mustard seeds.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Mr. Selleck it's still your board.
Tom: Yeah well ehh. Why don't toi give me ape tit for 200?
Alex: *Angry* It's not ape tit.
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Alex: It's a petit never mind.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Let's just déplacer on to Animal Sounds for 600. This is the sound a doggy makes.
Sean: *Rings in*
Alex: Mr. The Hedgehog?
Sean: Moo.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: No.
Sean: Well that's the sound your grand daughter made last night.
Audience: Ah!! *Laughing*
Sean: *Laughing*
Alex: Okay that's not necessary.
Sean: Ah.
Tom: *Rings in*
Alex: Tom Selleck?
Tom: Who is uh... Scooby Doo?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: No.
Tom: Yeah he was a funny dog Scooby Doo. He drove around in a van, and solved mysteries.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: That is incorrect.
Tom: Nah that's correct.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: I remember. He had a pal, Scrappy Doo.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: No.
French: *Rings in*
Alex: French Stewart, the sound a dog makes.
French: Uh.... Who is John Cafferty And The castor Brown Band? Thank toi very much, I'll take animal sounds for 800.
Alex: NO! Good lord! We would've accepted bow wow, ou ruff.
Sean: Ah, rough. Just the way your grand daughter likes it Trebek.
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Alex: Come on, that is way out of line.
Tom: *Runs backstage*
Alex: Mr. Selleck, what are toi doing?!!?
Tom: *Walks towards Alex, and is wearing a massive ten gallon hat*
Sean: *Laughing at Tom*
Tom: Yeah I found this backstage. Oversized hat, it's funny.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: No it's not.
Tom: Sure it is. It's funny. It's funny, because it's bigger then a normal hat.
Alex: I see that, get back to your podium.
Tom: Haha. *Takes off the hat* Take a look at that.
Alex: Yeah I see that. Get back to your podium, it's not funny.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: *Returns to his podium*
Alex: What's going on? Okay, let's just déplacer on to Final Jeopardy. The category is, toi know what? I'll tell toi what, just write a number. Any number. Any number, and toi win.
Audience: *Laughing*

Final Jeopardy musique started playing.

Alex: We'll accept any number. Any number at all. A 1, ou a 2, ou a 3. ou how about a 4? It's that simple. I know toi can do this.

The cloche, bell rang, and the contestants ran out of time.

Alex: Let's start with French Stewart who is grinning like an idiot.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: toi look pretty sure of yourself. toi think toi got the right answer?
French: Yes, I'm pretty sure of it Alex.
Alex: Well, all toi had to do was write a number, and toi wrote, threeve.
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Alex: A combination of three, and five. Very stunning.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: And toi wagered, Texas with a dollar sign in front of it.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: I'm speechless.
French: No I did not get the answer from anyone else, it all came from Mr. Stewart's noggin.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: That's beautiful.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Mr. Selleck-
Tom: Yeah don't bother, I didn't write anything.
Alex: Good work.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: And finally, Sean the hedgehog. The category was numbers, and toi wrote... A letter V.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Well I'll toi what my friend..
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: V is a roman numeral, so despite your best efforts, toi were able to answer correctly.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Let's see what toi wagered. Suck it Trebek.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sean: *Laughing*
Alex: That's all the time we have. Thank toi very much. I-
Tom: *Goes to Alex, and puts the oversized ten gallon hat on him*
Alex: would toi GET THAT OFF ME?!!!?
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*

Coming up suivant is The Story Of Corporal Agarn

The Story of Corporal Agarn

Theme song

Though he goes on a rage from time to time
He is a very good friend of mine
And in Fort Courage he is well known as
Corporal Agarn

Starring Master Sword as Corporal Agarn
Tom Foolery as Captain Parmenter
Saten Twist as Sargent O' Rourke
Mortomis as Dobbs, the bugler
Snow Wonder as Wrangler Jane
Cosmic arc en ciel as Corporal Vanderbilt
Blaze as Corporal Duffy
Sean as Chief Wild Eagle
and Sonic as Crazy Cat

Captain Parmenter had all of his troops lined up for a meeting.

Captain Parmenter: Now, as all of toi might know, there will be a colonel coming here to inspect the fort. We want everything to look nice.
Corporal Agarn: Should we salute the colonel with the cannon?
Captain Parmenter: Good question, I don't know. Why don't toi two practice your salute, while I look at the calender to make sure I have the rendez-vous amoureux, date right for the colonel's arrival.
Corporal Agarn: Alright Dobbs, Duffy, toi know what to do.
Corporal Duffy: *Puts cannonball into cannon*
Corporal Dobbs: *Lights fuse*

When the fuse got to the bottom, the canon, cannon didn't go off.

Corporal Agarn: *Gets angry, and kicks the cannon. The left wheel falls off, and then it shoots the cannonball at Vanderbilt's tower*
Corporal Vanderbilt: *Jumps out of tower*
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Agarn: This isn't good. We can't have that during the colonel's visit. Can we?!
Corporal Dobbs: uhh... I think so, and if he doesn't like it, I could play my bugle.
Corporal Agarn: OH NO toi DON'T!!!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Agarn: If we don't give a good salute to the colonel, I'm going to go... *Getting angry* On!
Corporal Dobbs: Uh oh, this can't be good.
Corporal Agarn: *His face turns red, and smoke comes out of his ears* A!
Corporal Duffy: We never had this problem on the Alamo.
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Agarn: *Surrounded par flames because of his anger* RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE!!!!!! *Turns back to normal* Okay, what were we doing?
Audience: *Laughing*

To be continued in another episode.

Ponies: *Singing* Though he goes on a rage from time to time, he is a very good friend of mine. And in Fort Courage he is well known as, Corporal Agarn.
Dobbs: *Playing the clairon, bugle poorly*
Corporal Agarn: I'm warning toi Dobbs!
Audience: *Laughing*

Up next, Tom Foolery, and Friends continue with their race on Gran Turismo 6.

Nocturnal Mirage, Sean, Tom, Master Sword, Mortomis, Annie, and Heartsong were playing Gran Turismo 6. They were all at Sean's house.

The race was going good so far. Heartsong was in the lead with her BMW M4 safety car.

Sean: toi know it's not really a safety car if toi keep crashing into us.
Audience: *Laughing*
Heartsong: I have to win, that's the whole point of this game.
Mortomis: But toi don't need to crash into us. toi f**ked up my Cadillac for no reason.
Heartsong: *Looks at Mortomis' car which has a big dent at the back* What are toi talking about? Your car is just fine.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mirage: I'm close to getting first place.
Sean: Stay out of this toi Ford loving bastard!
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: How are toi able to keep up with Heartsong? She has a haut, retour au début speed that's much higher then the one on your car.
Sean: She keeps spinning out of control on the turns.
Annie: *Passes Sean*
Sean: Okay, I'm in third now. *Sees Mirage, and Mortomis pass him* Really toi two? I swear if one plus person passes me-
Master Sword: *Passes Sean* Sorry.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sean: Now it's time to act like Heartsong.
Mirage: Shit, that can't be good!
Master Sword: Of course it can't be good. She's in first place!
Audience: *Laughing*
Sean: *Rams Master Sword's car*
Master Sword: Ah!! *Spins out, and hits Mortomis' car*
Mortomis: F**K! *Spins out, and hits Mirage's car*
Mirage: Ah! *Hits the wall*
Sean: *Passes Master Sword, Mortomis, and Mirage* Pleasure doing business with you.
Audience: *Laughing*
Annie: toi can't catch up to me.
Sean: Maybe not, but I did get to 3rd place.
Heartsong: This is the final lap, right?
Sean: Yeah, that's why it says lap 2/2.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sean: We're on the 2nd, and final lap.
Annie: toi have one plus turn to make before crossing that finish line.
Heartsong: That's what I was afraid of.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sean: If toi hit the wall-
Heartsong: *Spins out* No, not again!
Audience: *Laughing*
Heartsong: *Hits the wall* Shit.
Annie: *Laughs* I knew that was gonna happen. First place is mine.
Sean: And thanks to toi Heartsong, I am now in 2nd place.
Heartsong: *Backing her car up so she can continue racing*
Mirage: Look out!! *Crashes into Heartsong's car*

The others crashed into Heartsong's car, and they caused a pile up.

Annie: First place is mine.
Sean: *Gets second*
Tom: Well, this was almost enjoyable. It would have been better if Heartsong wasn't being retarded.
Audience: *Laughing*

Tom: What's up everypony? toi know what time it is, right?
Audience: 4:35 PM.
Tom: Wrong. Well, actually, that's right, but-
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: What I meant was, it's time for bloopers we created during the filming of this episode. Enjoy.

Blooper song: link

Mirage: How many Playstations do toi have?
Sean: Over 9,000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Director: Cut.
Sean: I have every single Playstation in the world!
Audience: *Laughing*

---

Sean: I think we'll race on Special Stage X.
Master Sword: Don't do that. The track is an oval, and it would be perfect for Mirage.
Mirage: Yes, I do have a Nascar after all.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sean: It wouldn't be perfect for Mirage, because instead of turning left, you'll have to turn right.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mirage: WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!!?
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Special guest stars are not allout, loosjgoijd!
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: I can't speak today. I don't know what's going on.

---

Alex: From 3rd Rock From The Sun, French Stewart, in seconde place with negative $17,000.
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
French: *Has his eyes closed. He does this everytime he talks* Alex, I wanna take toi from behind.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sean: *Cringes* Maybe we oughta give him a better line.

---

French: Uh.... Who is John C- I forgot my line!

Take 2

French: Uh.... Who is John Cowswitch And The castor Brown Band? Thank toi very much, I'll take animal sounds for 800.
Director: Cafferty!
French: Uh oh. *Opens his eyes*
Director: Keep them closed!!
Audience: *Laughing*

---

Corporal Agarn: Alright Dobbs, Duffy, toi know what to do.
Corporal Duffy: *Puts cannonball into cannon*
Corporal Dobbs: *Lights fuse*

When the fuse got to the bottom, the canon, cannon didn't go off.

Corporal Agarn: *Gets angry, and kicks the cannon, but it hurts his hoof* OOWWWW!!!!
Audience: *Laughing*

---

Mirage: I'm close to getting first place.
Sean: Stay out of this toi Ford loving bastard!
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: How are toi able to keep up with Heartsong? She has a- wait a second. *Looks at his controller* My controller is dead.
Director: Plug it in.
Tom: *Plugs controller into playstation* Let's do this again from the top.

The End

STH/AM6663 Entertainment. Copyright, 2015
 Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see.
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see.
1. I l’amour the way we finish each other’s sentences.

2. I l’amour the way I know you’ll never give up on me.

3. I l’amour the fact that I wouldn’t ever give up on you.

4. I l’amour the way toi look at me.

5. I l’amour how beautiful your eyes are.

6. I l’amour the way I can’t imagine a jour without toi in my life.

7. I l’amour the way if we were ever separated I wouldn’t know how to go on.

8. I l’amour the way we cuddle and watch sunsets together.

9. I l’amour the way we sometimes stay up all night and just talk, then watch the sunrise together.

10. I l’amour how I know you’ll always be there when I need toi to be.

11....
continue reading...
1- eye contact , if toi notice him staring a lot at toi ..like plus than 5 times in the same jour .(unless toi got a stain on your shirt)
2- if toi and him were in the same area , he would be with toi in every where toi walk to ( like a party ou a concert ..etc)
3- he would sit suivant to toi in your class ( unless hes too shy )
4- he would scream ou laugh out loud to get your attention .
5- he would kill to be your lab partner at school .
6 - if he says to toi hi and hes all too sweaty , make sure hes nervous and that means he likes you.
7-if toi drop something , he would be the first to get it for...
continue reading...
posted by simpleplan
1. When the teacher says to “take a seat”, toi answer “take it where”.
2. When the teacher calls your name at roll call, toi answer “Absent”.
3. When she calls roll, toi answer “yo mama”.
4. When the teacher says something, toi say “is that so?”
5. If toi so happened to not turn in your homework say, your class pet ate it.
6. Tell your teacher you’ll turn in your homework, as soon as your parents finish doing it.
7. Tell your teacher toi did not turn in your homework because toi were watching TV.
8. Fold your homework into a cootie-catcher.
9. Fold your homework into a paper...
continue reading...
posted by smileypop9
1.When toi walk into the room, run up to the teacher and stare her in the eyes. nothing more. just keep a straight face and stare. they get quite scared.

2.Before your science class starts, put a glacière that has "Human Head" written on top, on the front table. On the board write: "Class, we will be disecting a human head tommorrow, the sign up liste is on my bureau for the part toi would like to dissect" Actually put a sign up liste on her desk.

3.bring a cactus to school. Raise your hand. When called upon say the cactus has a question. look at the cactus and wait for it to say something. when it...
continue reading...
1)"Why, do toi find me irresistible?"

2)"No, I just dress better than you"

3)"You're a double gay. No returnsies!"

4)"I l’amour the seconde grade insults, *insert name here*. Honestly, isn't it strange how "gay" has come to replace "stupid"? And so what if I was gay? Insulting my sexual orientation is pointless.

NOW...if a girl says you're gay, and toi actually are, I find the best burn is: "At least I can get a boyfriend."

5)Look them in the face with a deadpan expression. Simply say, "Yes. I'm gay," and walk away. Take their thunder away. It's such a juvenile thing to say in the first place.
Or...
continue reading...
1. Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.

2. He was as tall as a 6′3″ tree.

3. Her face was a perfect oval, like a cercle that had its two sides gently compressed par a Thigh Master.

4. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

5. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

6. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

7. The ballerina...
continue reading...
1. We aren’t mind readers!
2. We are not to be used as pawns in trying to make your girlfriends jealous.
3. When toi sleep over never boss me around in lit unless it is during sex.
4. Smoking is the biggest turn off.
5. It never hurts to work out.
6. If toi don’t want to hear the truth, don’t ask the question.
7. “Fine” ou “whatever” is not an appropriate ending to a conversation.
8. If toi want sex, just ask. (In case toi didn’t already know.)
9. Don’t expect guys to say as many sweet things as they do in the movies. (It takes a lot of guys and their wives to come up with those...
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1. Guys hate sluts even though they have sex with them! (oh yeah..you're not "popular" if you've slept with plus than 5 guys..you're a HOE)

2. "Hey, are toi busy?" ou "Are toi doing something?" ~ two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering on the phone.

3... Guys may be flirting around all jour but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

4. Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they're gonna say so there aren't awkward pauses, but once he's on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as he goes.

5. Guys go crazy over a girl's...
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I got bored, so here toi go.


1. BlueEyedDemon

2. SuicidalSlut

3. MaliciousIntent

4. GloomyTears

5. Blacklight

6. DarkSunshine

7. FallenIsolation

8. DrowningInTears

9. DismalAngel

10. FallenSolitude

11. HopingInSolitude

12. SilentCall

13. CountingOnRain

14. CalledForMishap

15. RuefulDestiny

16. FallenAngel

17. KilledByAnAngel (I know for a fact it's taken on here par my twin sis but I made it up)

18. FlamingCore

19. Darkenin(g)InRegret (The G could be taken off if there is a 15 character like on Fanpop)

20.Itrieditathome

21. RunWithScissors

22. PlaydateWithFire (Over 15 characters but... I like it)

23. RejectedStar...
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1.In the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes. I'll have twenty.
2.Sometimes toi make me so mad i wanna throw toi in the middle of on-going traffic; but then i realize i would probably kill myself trying to save you.
3.im the type of girl who would burst out laughing in the middle of silence because of something that happened... yesterday.
4.so ill walk the plank & jump with a smile if im going down ill do it in style toi wont hear me surrender.
5.the truth hurts so we lie
6.silence is golden, duct tape is silver
7.i know your probably thinking oh no she didnt but i just so totally...
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posted by iluvsmj
I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse!

Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what the hell happen to you?

Right now I'm sitting here looking at toi trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.

A pretty girl can Kiss a guy* a bird can Kiss a butterfly* the rising sun can Kiss the grass* but toi my friend!! yes you!! toi CAN Kiss MY ASS*******

If toi didn't have feet toi wouldn't wear shoes.....then why do toi wear a bra??!

mirrors don't talk but lucky for toi %n they don't laugh

Poof be gone, your breath is too strong, I...
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44 Ways to Make a Girl Happy

Ladies, this will make toi tear up :)

Fellas, read all of it:)

1-Touch her waist.

2-Talk to her.

3-Share secrets.

4-Give her your jacket.

5-Kiss her slowly.

Are toi remembering this?

6-Hug her.

7-Hold her.

8-Laugh with her.

9-Invite her somewhere.

10-Let her be with toi when you're with your friends.

Keep reading...

11-Smile with her.

12-Take pics with her.

13-Pull her onto your lap.

14-When she says she loves toi more, deny it. fight back.

15-When her Friends say i l’amour her plus than you, deny it; fight back and hug her tight so she can't get...
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I never thought I would be doing a liste like this because when I do lists based on looks it's on women. As a straight guy, it's easier for me to rank women than men. However, when I put my mind to something I try my best to come through. I had already done this liste with women and I remember being asked if I would ever do it with men, so here it is. Keep in mind this is all just my personal opinion as a straight guy and it wasn't easy to figure out AT ALL! Please commentaire but be polite. Also, always commentaire because I worked HARD on this and during a time I had just had laser eye surgery and...
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42 Things That Will Make Your Parents Go Crazy.

1. Follow them around the house everywhere...

2. Moo when they say your name...

3. Run into walls...

4. Say that wearing clothes is against your religion...

5. Stand over them at four in the morning with a huge grin on your face and say, good morning sunshine...

6. Pluck someone's hair out and yell, "DNA"...

7. Wear a sticker that says, "I'm a retard"...

8. Have 20 imaginary Friends that toi talk to all the time...

9. In public yell, "No Mom/Dad, I will not make out with you!!"...

10. Do what they actually tell you...

11. Jump off the roof, trying...
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posted by CoaxochYJ
My suicide note that I threw away cuz of my awesome Friends and life I wanted to keep.

To the friends, I call my family,

By the time toi read this letter, I will be only a faded memory.

A corpse on the cold bathroom floor.

It is too late for me now, and I know it.

Even as I write this letter I can feel the life draining out of me.

But I feel it, so that's something, right?

I have been dead for a while now, though toi may not have noticed.

I died the night I couldn't l’amour you, my love.

I loved toi with everything.

My heart, my body and soul.

I am sorry I wasn't good enough for you.

At least you're happy....
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posted by Bubblekat
1. Go around stores, pick up items and yell out really loudly "Who buys this CRAP anyway?!"

2. Get a cart, get on the bar below the bar toi grip, and push it down the isle, extra points for running into something ou someone

3. Go up to a aléatoire person and say "you have pretty eyes, may I have your eyes?!" and hear to see what they say

4. Laugh randomly

5. If someones talking on a cellphone Go closer to them and start maki aléatoire noises to disturb them, extra points if they hang up

6. If your near a fontaine run to it and start splashing in it

7. If your mom starts nagging to toi in public about the...
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I'm a girl pervert!I say guys are crazy cuz they think I touch their butts!I blame it on their hormones even though I touched their butts alot!

1.Be a real pervert

2.You don't have to look like one but just act like one

3.Always when you're walking behind a guy always look at their butt!And say"say veiw" then touch it nice and gently! :)

4.They look back and ask toi say'what?no way especially not your flat ass!!!!"when they turn around find another butt to look at!

5.Look at their muscles when they're wearing chemise sleeve shirts and they're doing heavy lifting

6.Take pictures as well

7.Always comment...
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No, I'm not racist I just found it on youtube.

If toi want to check it out link

59. Goldstein
58. Burgenblatt
57. Burgenstein
56. Birumbaum
55. Farbstein
54. Grepslach
53. Steinbergavinski
52. Schnitzler
51. Pupikatvitz
50. Schnitzelmacher
49. Schpoilgekatz
48. Manashevitz
47. Platzenfinkle
46. Yankelovitz
45.Shteinshtein
44. Oyvayski
43. Shmoigerberg
42. Choppedleiberman
41.Zilbershpitzanhimelfarbenfleishebien
40.Gefiltafarb
39. Gefiltashlep
38. B'Bergberg
37. Yidihevitz
36. Synagogavitz
35. Parkenfien
34. LOL they forgot this one... :D
33. Kinkenberg
32. Menachemchem
31. Rechtum
30. Along with this one
29. Docotrlawyerstein...
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posted by Lady10358
Found this on Google
1. If you're lucky enough and find someone with the shirt: FREE HUGS ou If toi find a chemise store selling it, hug the shirt/person and if they/someone notices you, say "It says free hugs!"
2. go to the nourriture court and go to a fast nourriture place and take tons of straws and put as many possible in your mouth and stand on a table, tableau chant elmo's world theme.
3. Go to one of those toddler toy/clothing stores and hold up a baby outfit/toy and yell as loud as toi can "I l’amour THIS TOY! I'D PLAY WITH IT jour AND NIGHT!"
4. Go to the bathroom and hide in a stall until toi see an old lady/guy...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
my friend sent me this text message a while il y a and i thought it was hilarious!!!




i need to ask toi somethingand i want toi to be totally honest with me. it may be awkward between us after this but i have to kow how toi feel... I've kept it in for a while now but now it's time to be straight up and just confront you. i hope this doesn't ruin anything we have, i just need to know and i dont see any other way i could get over this. it just doesn't seem fair if i dont gett an answer. i want toi to tell me truthfully, please no matter how harsh it is. i just want your hoest opinion...

Pepsi ou Coke?



Ha ha ha ha !!!
Funny.