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posted by akatsuki_lover9
The death combo
chapter 1

It was just a normal jour for Scourge. Taking care of Bloodclan. “i think I'll go hunt” mewed scourge. He walked in twolegplace, searching for something edible. When he was about to give up he saw it, a plump écureuil on an empty thunderpath. He stalked it slowly. Right before he could pounce the a shadow fell on the écureuil and it ran away. Scourge turned over to the one who cast the shadow. 'hey you, I was about to catch that!” but when scourge saw the one who did it he froze. It was no cat who scared off his prey. It was a strange creature. A cat sized green ours who walked on two legs and wore an army hat and jacket. He also held a couteau in his hand.


His yellow eyes gazed into scourge's. Scourge knew he had to fight. He leaped at the ours and cut his cheek. The ours yelled and swiped his couteau at scourge. Pain seared in scourge's flank. Scourge growled and swiped at the bears face. He sliced his nose. The ours ran at scourge, yelling furiously. Scourge ran, knowing he couldn't beat it head on. The ours was gaining on him. Scourge ran faster until his legs ached. Scourge felt the couteau cut the tip of his tail. Pain shot through his body. He was convinced that the ours would kill him but he kept running. He leaped over a bucket of water. He heard a splashing sound a moment later. He glanced back. The ours had tripped into the bucket and he stopped chasing him. The ours looked confused now. He also looked like his face had changed. Then scourge realized that it did. His eyes were normal and he didn't have sharp teeth. His couteau was gone too.
“what happened?” the ours asked. Fury shot through scourge. “you tried to kill me toi souris brain! How can toi not remember that!?” the ours looked startled. “i tried to kill you?” scourge glared at the bear. It was a lot plus souris brained than he thought. “yes, toi tried to kill me! toi almost succeeded, how do toi not know when toi try to murder someone?!” the ours put his hands on his face and looked down. “I'm sorry, I really am. I swear I didn't mean it.” part of scourge wanted to rake his eyes out but another part of him believed the bear. He knew nobody could look that sorry and innocent without meaning it. Plus, this guy would make an outstanding member. Scourge decided he would give him a chance. “i believe you.” scourge said. “you look too weak and helpless to be a killer.” the ours looked up. “who are toi calling helpless?” humor sparked his gaze. “what's your name?” scourge asked. The ours stood up before he answered. “I'm flippy.” scourges whiskers twitched. “that sounds like a kittypet name!” he laughed. “kittypet? What's that?”flippy asked. Scourge sighed. Flippy really was a souris brain. “a kittypet is a cat who lives with twolegs.” scourge answered. “twolegs?” flippy echoed. Scourge rolled his eyes. “the hairless rose things that walk on two paws.” flippy suddenly seemed to understand. “oh those things? I call them people.” the word “people” sounded weird but scourge didn't question him. “what's your name?” flippy asked. “my name's scourge.” scourge answered him. “impressive name. Especially for a tiny fuzzball with a high pitched mew.” scourge crouched, pretending to be mad. “who are toi calling a fuzzball? I once drove off a huge dog single pawed, and I was just a kit!” flippy nodded. “fine you're not a fuzzball, you're a handful!” scourge and flippy laughed. Then a thought struck him. “what if one of my warriors sees me talking to this bear? I'll look like a fool!” flippy was staring at him now. “what’s wrong?” he asked. Scourge sighed. “there are two people toi need to meet before we can have a friendship, follow me.” scourge was leading him to an alley. He was going to meet brick and bone.
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added by 050801090907
In case toi needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual labels on consumer goods:


On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.(that's the only time I have to work on my hair)

On a bag of Fritos! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)

On some Swanson La Reine des Neiges dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's just a suggestion).

On Tesco's tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh,...
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