aléatoire Article: Read some very funny answering machine messages

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Read some very funny answering machine messages

posted by australia-101

These are supposedly actual answering machine announcements.

1. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to toi as soon as we're finished.

2. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So, leave a message.

3. Hi. This is John: If toi are the phone company, I already sent the money. If toi are my parents, please send money. If toi are my financial aid institution, toi didn't lend me enough money. If toi are my friends, toi owe me money. If toi are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.

4. Hi. Now toi say something.

5. Hi, I'm not accueil right now, but my answering machine is, so toi can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep.

6. Hello. I am David's answering machine. What are you?

7. Hello! If toi leave a message, I'll call toi soon. If toi leave a "sexy" message, I'll call sooner!

8. Hi! John's answering machine is broken This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

9. Hello, toi are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows ou a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through their office and do not need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.

10. This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your number and your reason for calling, and I'll think about returning your call.

11. Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.

12. Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave a message and then wait par your phone until I call toi back.

13. If toi are a burglar, then we're probably at accueil cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't accueil and it's sûr, sans danger to leave a message.

14. Please leave a message. However, toi have the right to remain silent. Everything toi say will be recorded and will be used par us.

15. Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth we'll get back to you.

deathding, jordanyeaboi and 7 others like this

JudyRro Picture this: machine learning, with https://gowombat.team/machine-learning expertise, becomes the comedy scriptwriter for your data. It doesn't just analyze; it understands patterns, learns from the data's quirks, and delivers insights with a touch of wit. The result is a symphony of intelligence that transforms raw data into a delightful narrative

annuler Elijah Jones!! Beautiful Insanity!!

posted by Dangerousloves

Elijah Jones "Razilee and Elijah" need fixing

Though displaced par fusion. Elijah Jones and his récent album "Beautiful Insanity" deceives the art of true kindness and blames others for judging while feelings guilty of judgement. Elijah Jones isn't the once thoughtful artist we once knew back in 2017. He has manipulated to trick us in thinking he is kind and nice!! He sucks!! His musique album and his documentaries are horrible and does not teach any valuable lesson as expressed! Why does many favor him and his followers?

Three good reasons...

Beautiful Insanity FAILS to deliver the message behind judgement.

Razilee and Elijah Part 2 doesn't...

Jessie James Decker - I'll Chase the Sky (lyrics)

posted by TimberHumphrey

toi see that weight on your wings?
So i know what you're feeling
Yeah, toi got bigger dreams
So keep on believing

Don't let your colors
bleed into grey
We got each other
and chances to take
Yeah, toi got bigger dreams
So keep on believing

I'll chase the sky with you
I'll chase the night with you
I'll chase the light with you
If toi wanna fly
I'll chase the sky

Whoa oh oh oh
Whoa oh oh oh
Whoa oh oh oh
If toi wanna fly
I'll chase the sky

Anything in your heart
Is plus than worth keeping (Mmm)
I'll shoot for the stars
If that's what toi needed

Just say the word
and baby, i'll run
I'll find a way
to go beyond the sun
I'll...

The Exploitation II: Ten Horror Exploitation Film Reviews

posted by windwakerguy43

Well, it’s that time of the an again. Halloween, the mois of scares, despite the fact that the an 2020 has been a fucking nightmare plus than anything Halloween could do. Last an I looked at five exploitation horror films. Some were good. Some were absolute trash. But I wanted to do that again. And this time, I wanted to up the ante. I wanted to take it a step further. Not with graphic content. God no. Nothing will ever make me sick like Nekromantik, I think. But in scale. Instead of five films, I decided to check out ten this year. Ones of differentiating quality. Will there be diamonds...

Weirdest Chair de poule Endings

posted by Canada24

#1: CAMP NIGHTMARE:
The camp is actually a hoax set up par the boy’s parents.. Okay, that would of been fine wait there.. But being Goosebumps, for some reason, it's so the boy can be prepared for an exploratory mission to a place called 'Earth'.. So they're aliens appearently.. Okay.. But WHY?

#2: THE BARKING GHOST:
The chiens turn out to be humans that have been transformed into dogs, so they transform Cooper and Fergie into chiens and take over their identities, then Cooper and Fergie transform them back but they accidently get transformed into squirrels ou something like that, I don't know. Stine...

1

Seattle "SIFF" To Feature "Razilee and Elijah: Part 2" Online

posted by seattlelivin

Razilee and Elijah Part 2 2020 Poster

Razilee and Elijah: Part 2 will be viewed at "SIFF" Seattle event on "August 28, 2020" through an online scope for it's Pacific Northwest reveal. Also toi can view the films behind the scene slots a week before premiere of the film. Razilee and Elijah: Part 2 will become available to watch in the Pacific Northwest of Oregon and Washington starting 9:00PM August 28, 2020. A family montrer will be available on August 7, 2020. The film will be released to the world on September 4, 2020. Its global release.

Razilee and Elijah Part 2 2020 Poster

4

Celestial Shadow

posted by Ranty-cat

Chapter-1
Year 1920. Mir Jack. Mir is a detective. But, he doesn’t investigate cheating wives ou crooked business partners. He investigates things that go bump in the night . When a beautiful blonde strolls into his office and says someone is trying to kill her, he smells danger. Too bad he needs the money.

How he got started with paranormal investigations is a long story. Something took his wife from him. Jane was his whole world. Now she's gone. He has been running down leads ever since.

It's an arduous task, prying into the dark and creeping things. Plenty of people won't even acknowledge...

Satan Vs. Phallus - Graffiti Kingdom (PS2 Cents)

posted by windwakerguy43

Ever since I was young, I’ve always enjoyed graffiti. I’ve never done graffiti in my life, ou have any artistic skills at all, but I enjoy it. Maybe it was due to a combination of playing a lot of Jet Set Radio as a kid as well as seeing them when I was living around urban areas as a kid. Now do I condone the act of vandalism for the sake of graffiti….. Mmmmm legally can’t say. Basically, I l’amour the free spirited nature of it and any game that can replicate graffiti is fine par me. And today we’ll be talking about Graffiti Kingdom… this game has absolutely nothing to do with graffiti....

The Legend Of Zelda: I Can't CDI

posted by Seanthehedgehog

Link: *At the castle* Gee. It sure is boring around here.
King: Mah boi. This peace is what all true warriors strive for.
Link: I just wonder what Ganon is up to.
Gwonam: *Arrives on a flying carpet* Your majesty, Ganon, and his minions have ceased the island of Koridai.
King: Hmm. How can we help?
Gwonam: It is written, only Link can defeat Ganon.
Link: Great. I'll grab my stuff.
Gwonam: There is no time. Your sword is all your need.
Link: Great. I'll grab my stuff.
Gwonam: *Face palm* Please tell me that someone can defeat Ganon besides this retard.
Link: *Using a sword to pick his nose* I think I...

1

The Best and Worst of the Decade: films

posted by windwakerguy43

Well this was a little late, but better late than not at all, right? The 2010s were a big year, probably for a lot of us. We all had that point in our lives in that decade where things were changing, some small, others massive. But who cares about all that person stuff. Let's talk about material things that we just like. Movies, video games, animation, all that great stuff. This will be a five part article series, so look vers l'avant, vers l’avant to plus articles coming afterward. Let's start off with something simple, movies. Talking about my favori film of each year, as well as my least favori from that...

My Favourite Songs Of Past Decade

posted by CokeTheUmbreon

Hello... It's me!

I'm back from writer's block (again) to bring toi another article.

EDM and I have had a long run in the past decade.

Please note: Some of these songs have not been invented in the decade. I just found them in this decade.

I bring you... My Favourite Songs of Last Decade.

Here goes!

1. 'Watch Out' par Eptic
2. 'Baillorum' par BAILO & Bellorum
3. 'Back In Time (R3hab Remix)' par Pitbull
4. 'TH2C (Dyro Remix)' par Krewella
5. 'RAMPAGE' par GRAVEDGR
6. 'Rampage' par Myro & Barely Alive & Virtual Riot & PhaseOne
7. 'Get Lemon' par Disciple Recs, a supercollab
8. 'We Don't Play'...

Merry Freakin' Christmas - jour 21: Amy (360)

posted by windwakerguy43

So I have a vague memory of this game. I remember seeing this game in a Game Informer magazine (Yeah, remember fucking gaming magazines) when I was in elementary school. Alongside games like Resident Evil Revelations, ou I think, I don’t remember the exact issue, I saw this game on the side and how the reviewer thought it was the most boring game imaginable. So I avoided it for years up until now… and who boy, gaming journalism may be a joke now, but that guy was totally right. The game as developed par Vectorcell, known best for Jésus Christ Superstar on the IOS. I feel like I’m gonna...

Merry Freakin' Christmas - jour 20: Batman: Dark Tomorrow

posted by windwakerguy43

I don’t think I need to give a lesson on who Batman is. Everyone and their grandparents know who he is. Batman, the Dark Knight, the Caped Crusader. Having tons of comics, films and video games. Some being some of the greatest games of all time and others being… the complete opposite. And that’s what we are looking at, the complete opposite. Developed par the Japanese studio, Kemco Software, best known for their work on the haut, retour au début Gear franchise and their mobile games, they are still around today. Nothing was hurt par this game, DC Comics is still making bank and Batman is still a cherished...

Merry Freakin' Christmas - jour 19: Charlie's anges (Gamecube)

posted by windwakerguy43

I never watched the original Charlie’s Angels. I remember I watched the movie, Full Throttle, which probably explains my deep seeded hatred for the series. And hey, with a new movie out that toi wouldn’t know was out unless I told toi (And no, toi didn’t watch. If toi tell me otherwise, you’re lying), now is a great time to play Charlie’s anges on the Gamecube. Published par the kings of aléatoire publishing, Ubisoft, Charlie’s anges is considered to be the worst license game out there, nothing else compared. I don’t have much say in the matter before I play it, but… yeah, I can...

Merry Freakin' Christmas - jour 16: Gravity Games Bike: Street, Vert, Dirt

posted by windwakerguy43

Good lord, Midway is at it again with another one of the worst games of all time, god save me. This time, we got ourselves a bike game, Gravity Games Bike: Street, Vert, Dirt… That’s a fucking horrible title. So this is an extreme sports game where toi play on a bike and try to rank up the high score. I like extreme sports games. Tony Hawk’s Underground is one of my favori video games ever. Yet Gravity Games Bike is a runner up for one of the worst video games of all time, so that’s going to be real fun to play. So let’s see if this game can hang with the biggest names of extreme...

Merry Freakin' Christmas - jour 10: Mucha Lucha: Mascaritas of the Lost Code

posted by windwakerguy43

Holy shit, this one is a bit of a nostalgia trip. I remember watching Mucha Lucha when I was a kid and loved it so much. It was probably where my interest in masked wrestlers came from, that and wwe of course. Now is the montrer good? Eh, debatable. You’d have to have a nostalgic l’amour for it to appreciate it, but hey, I watched all episodes of The Nutshack. I have zero shame. So yeah, here’s the Mucha Lucha game on Gameboy, Mascaritas of the Lost Code. Another published game par Ubisoft, but developed par Digital Eclipse Software, who worked on all sorts of ports of old arcade games. You’ve...

Merry Freakin' Christmas - jour 9: Legends of Wrestling II (Gameboy Advance)

posted by windwakerguy43

wwe was one of my favori things as a child. There was just something about watching big oiled up men in their underwear grabbing at each other and slamming their bodies into the ground- Is it any wonder I came out as a bisexual? Seriously, I do enjoy wrestling to an extent. I haven’t watched anything recently, I kinda stopped around the whole John Cena craze of the late 2000s and early 2010s. But with anything that is marketable to young kids like me, toi gotta have video games of them, and there was no short supply of wrestling games. Today, we’ll be talking about Legends of Wrestling...

NikPiks - Clerks: plus Than Just a Comedy

posted by windwakerguy43

Well, here it is. It’s time for the moment you’ve all been waiting for. While I have been busy with a ton of other things like work and the underlying threat of every phone call being a scam artist ou something to leave me bankrupt, this article has always been in the back of my mind. And I’m finally gonna talk about it. Today. That’s right. It’s time we finally get to talking about the classic comedy film. Clerks… 2!. Nah, I’m kidding. Fuck that movie. It’s Clerks, the original, 1994 film

I: From Humble Beginnings

Clerks is the best comedy film I have ever seen. Of...

Canada24 reviews JOKER (spoiler warning))

posted by Canada24

Well I talked about the issues about things non-related to the film itself. And now I finally saw the movie itself.. Not gonna lie, it was fucking awesome.. So lets see if I can make a good review of it. I'm no WindWaker430, but I do my best..

So I saw this film with my sister and her boyfriend (PS: She’s younger par at least a year).

So lets start with the first thing.. The laugh.. This movie takes a very unexpected approach. It addresses the infamish joker laugh as a ongoing condition, rather than the usual evil laugh cliche. It's something Arthur Fleck cannot control. There's always a certain...

haut, retour au début 5 CALL OF DUTY CHARACTERS:

posted by Canada24

#1: SGT FRANK WOODS:
Of coarse he's number 1. The guy who joined the Vietnam war because "it was fun". About everything he does is badass.. And I will give spoilers. So not only does he and Kra- (can't spell it) survive that gernade. But it's implied Woods escapes being P.O.W all par himself.. Though he than gets recaptured par Raul Menendez in Angola, and the first mission involves finding and rescuing him. The circumstances of Woods' capture - being tortured, having his men killed right in front of him, and locked in a shipping container with his dead comrades and left to die of starvation and...

The Joker Movie Controversy

posted by Canada24

This is a movie I had no interest in seeing. I was worried having an entire film about Joker will kinda ruin the character.. But the fact the film is rated R does imply I'm probably wrong.

But after I saw Chris Stuckmann's spoiler review. There is a interesting thing he spoke about, that I want throw in my own 2 cents about.

Before this film was even released. There were 2 things that people were worried about. Sympathizing with Joker. And the violence on screen.

Firstly, Chris says this isn't even the most violent film he's seen. He actually states Deadpool is plus violent than this movie. But...