These are our rules! Please note ... these are
all numbered '1' ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put
it down. We need it up, toi need it down. toi don't hear us
complaining about toi leaving it down.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of
it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what toi want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints
do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable réponses to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if toi want help solving it.
That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we a dit 6 months il y a is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all commentaires become null and void after 7 days.

1. If toi won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect
us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If toi think you're fat, toi probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we a dit can be interpreted two ways, and one of the
ways makes toi sad ou angry, we meant the other one.

1. toi can either ask us to do something ou tell us how toi want it
done. Not both. If toi already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever toi have to say
during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach,
for example, is a fruit, not a color. citrouille is also a fruit. We have
no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and toi say "nothing," we will act
like nothing's wrong. We know toi are lying, but it is just not worth
the hassle.

1. If toi ask a question toi don't want an answer to, expect an
answer toi don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything toi wear is fine.
Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless toi are prepared
to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, ou monster
trucks.

1. toi have enough clothes.

1. toi have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank toi for lire this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the
canapé tonight, but did toi know men really don't mind that, it's like
camping.