So let's say you're talking to your Friends and gesturing wildly, and because you're not paying attention, toi manage to honk some part of a passing stranger's anatomy that is traditionally covered par underpants; spinning around to apologize, toi instead topple down a staircase and faceplant into a wedding cake, whereupon toi realize that your pants are unbuttoned. Would this be
a.) the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to toi ou
b.) a Tuesday?

Everyone's awkward from time to time, but until now it's been impossible to determine, numerically, just how awkward toi are.

Well, this Awkwardness Test is as numerical as they get, because it has numbers, and it's hard to mess up, even if toi are still covered in wedding cake. All toi need to do is add a point if one of these situations has happened to toi in the past month.


•You start to tell a joke ("So this canard walks into a library..."). It turns out to be terribly inappropriate. ("Hey, my brother's in the hospital because of ducks!")

•Impossibly, someone toi have a crush on sits down to say hello to toi at lunch. toi have just crammed an entire petit gâteau, cupcake in your mouth.

•Walking down the street, toi gradually become aware that toi have no idea how to balançoire, swing your arms.

•You gleefully shoulder your way into a whispered conversation, expecting it to be about juicy gossip. It is about a dead grandma.

•Nobody is laughing at your hilarious story. toi panic and keep embellishing until it has killer bees in it.

•You spend far too much time on a text ou email exactly flirty and suggestive enough to send to your new SO. toi promptly mis-send it to your mom.

•You rush around a blind corner and plow directly into someone cute. Sobbing is involved. Someone requires stitches.

•You text someone with the kind of casual joke-insults toi typically use with close friends. Your message is taken too sincerely.


•Attempting to be fun, toi grievously wound someone; e.g. your no-look behind-the-back pass breaks your best friend's glasses ou face. Add an additional point if your pass misses your friend and ricochets off a baby.

•"Hi, (Firstname!)" some good friend says to you. toi respond: "Oh, hey, ...uh...." secondes pass. Oh my goodness, toi think to yourself. Caitlin? Carl? Captain Crunch? I have absolutely no idea what this person's name is. (Add an additional point if all the possible réponses collapse
together in your head and come out as something that could not possibly be a name, e.g. "Hi... Clourtleen?")



Tally up your points, one per situation.

0: Impossibly slick. Wow, toi are the smoothest person we know! AT LYING, PROBABLY.

1-2: Cool and composed. toi are the equivalent of putting on sunglasses and walking away in slow motion.

3-7: Ordinary. You're no plus ou less awkward than the suivant person, assuming the suivant person is not Michael Cera.

8-10: Michael Cera. You're awkward enough that it has become endearing. Consider a film career.

11-12: Michael Cera tripping into a waiter carrying tray of pies. toi are the essence of bumbling awkwardness. Purchase good insurance immediately.

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