#1:
Vanilla Ice: So what’s it like?
Girl: What’s what like?
Ice: toi know, having.. Parents.. Brothers.. All that, stuff.. Y’know?
Jon (dressed as alien): I am simple asking a normal human question, out of, curiousity, and not for my, deta, HUMAAAAAN!!!
#2:
Jon (singing Whitney Houston): AND IIIIIIIIIIII (HOLY SHIT!!) WILL ALWAYS l’amour YOU, I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’D DO THIS TO ME! GOD DAMMIT, HOW CAN toi DO THIS TO ME!!!
#3:
Ben: That's a fake. That's not my sister.
Jenny: Ben I know those people.
Jon: PROOFF!!!
#4:
Nito (gets disturbingly close to the girls)
Debbie: We're...
Macie: Just leaving:
Jon: Oh hi, Just Leaving, I'm *blows whistle* RAPE!!!
#5:
Jon (singing): BLOOOOOOOOOD DICE! BLOOOOOOOOOD DICE! D&D WILL! GIVE YOU! AAAAAAAIDS! THEN YOU'LL GO TO HELL WITH ALL THE CATHOLICS AND JEWS AND PLAY MAGIC THE GATHERING WITH SATAAAAAAAAAN!!!
#6:
Nitro: ARE toi READY TO RPG?!
Jon (taking out an RPG-7): Oh, motherfucker, I was born ready!
Nitro: Then let's get ready to RPG!!!
Party: RPG! RPG! RPG!
Jon: Well if toi say so!
(Fires a rocket at Marcie and Debbie)
(Cue a shout of "ALLAHU AKBAR!!!" followed par a building exploding)
#7:
Jon (singing): PLAAAYIN' GAMES WITH AN EVIL WITCH WOMAN "WHO'S DEFINITELY COLLEGE AGE", WAIT, WHY DID THAT GUY JUST BLOW SMOKE OUT OF HIS FACE?! THAT'S WEIRD... When toi die in the game, toi die in real life, except ya don't, toi go back to your dorm and play some GTA V!!
#8:
Debbie: RPG's aren't that bad.
Debbie's Teacher: Spells, poison, battles, maiming, killing?
Debbie: Yeah, but it's all imagination
Debbie's Teacher: IS IT?!
Jon: Is it, Debbie? Well I suggest toi read a totally real book that has absolutely no poisoning, maiming ou killing and it called the Holy Bible an- (pauses, staring blankly as he raises up the Bible).. Oh no... that book-that book done got that...
#9:
Woman: (Holds up an egg) This is your brain.
Jon: No it's not.
Woman: (Holds up a frying pan) And this is heroin.
Jon: No it's not. It's an egg and a pan.
Woman: This is what happens to your brain. (Smashes the egg with the frying pan)
Jon: No, that's what happens when toi smash a-a egg with a pan.
#10:
Woman: I didn't go around calling myself a farter.
Jon: Well that's probably a good thing, I don't know if toi wanna go around doing that, calling yourself that.
Woman: In my head, I was a social farter.
Jon: (Puzzled look)
Woman: I only farted occasionally.
Jon: I'm getting uncomfortable, I don't really like this, can we turn this one off?
Woman: And my boyfriend called me out on it.
Jon: And good on him. He's taking it right where it matters.
#11:
Jon: Whoa, shit dude, that alien just a volé, étole that dude's chicck!!
#12:
Dad character: My real name, is Hacket.. James Anthony Hackett, Jimmy.
Jon: Jimbo, Jim-Jar, sometimes down at the pub they'd call me Dan, but my name isn't "Dan". I was once visited par an alien species. They referred to me as [cue incomprehensible distortion]. I've never been able to unhear ou unsee that.
#13:
Phil Swift: Flex Tape, the super strong waterproof tape. (slaps it on fontaine hole, stopping the water from getting though) that could easily patch, bond, sheel, and repair.
(close up of Phil slapping the tape on the hole, to "Ghost l’amour Score")
Tour ette's guy: OHHHH, SHIT!!
#14:
L.O.G.: In line with Banjo tradition, your challenge will consist of collecting as many pointless objects as possible.
(Record Needle Scratch)
Jon: WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! toi JUST HOLD ON A SECOND!
(cut to a fat Banjo running and picking up coins at a horrendously slow pace)
Jon: HAHAHAHA GET IT? BECAUSE BANJO-KAZOOIE WAS TOTALLY "THIS" TEDIOUS! (cut to black) (Jon's voice far away) HOLY SHIT!
#15:
Jon: We get it, Rareware! toi used to be cool! Can-can toi get on with it? STOP!.. STOP IT!.. STOP TAUNTING ME!
#16: Jon: I mean, what if after Super Mario World, Nintendo came out with a teaser trailer for Super Mario 64, but upon release day, toi were greeted with MARIO CITY SIMULATOR?! AND THEN toi TURNED ON THE GAME AND SHIGERU MIYAMOTO'S GHOST COMES OUT AND IS LIKE "UHHH FUCKIN' WHO LIKES THE OLD MARIO GAMES AMIRITE? BRB, MAKIN' LEGEND OF ZELDA MODERN WARFARE!!!"
#17:
Jon: BAD!! BAD SNAKE!! BAD!!
#18:
Jerry: Aw man, toi and your dumb hobbies.
Jon [voiceover]: Yea, fuck toi for being interested in things, toi stupid bitch!
#19:
Jon: Oh megistic. Yeah all that's missing is a sign saying "Defiently not haunted"
#20:
Jon: Can we get to the romantic subplot already? Please?!
[Cut to a dit subplot]
Rod (boring voice): I work at a starter company called MCT Software. Got the stock option. Hopefully, if the company makes it big by-
Jon: NEVER MIND, I TAKE IT BACK!!
#21:
Jon: Wait, it's just a legend? It's just a silly old legend? I thought it was a real thing, like a real bateau with people on it that sank and they died. I s'pose that means my girlfriend's not real then. I guess there were some signs along the way. [flashback starts] When we were at that restaurant, the waiter, he said, "Why did toi order two meals and not eat one of them? toi just left it there to get cold." and I said, "Curb your tongue! That's my lady, and soon she will be departing on the great steam liner known as the Titanic that is definitely a real ship in the real world." and he said, "...Wait, what?"
#22:
Jon: She's sinking! The plot is sinking! Quick, hire the emergency writers! (tosses a bunch of script pages out the window)
Vanilla Ice: So what’s it like?
Girl: What’s what like?
Ice: toi know, having.. Parents.. Brothers.. All that, stuff.. Y’know?
Jon (dressed as alien): I am simple asking a normal human question, out of, curiousity, and not for my, deta, HUMAAAAAN!!!
#2:
Jon (singing Whitney Houston): AND IIIIIIIIIIII (HOLY SHIT!!) WILL ALWAYS l’amour YOU, I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’D DO THIS TO ME! GOD DAMMIT, HOW CAN toi DO THIS TO ME!!!
#3:
Ben: That's a fake. That's not my sister.
Jenny: Ben I know those people.
Jon: PROOFF!!!
#4:
Nito (gets disturbingly close to the girls)
Debbie: We're...
Macie: Just leaving:
Jon: Oh hi, Just Leaving, I'm *blows whistle* RAPE!!!
#5:
Jon (singing): BLOOOOOOOOOD DICE! BLOOOOOOOOOD DICE! D&D WILL! GIVE YOU! AAAAAAAIDS! THEN YOU'LL GO TO HELL WITH ALL THE CATHOLICS AND JEWS AND PLAY MAGIC THE GATHERING WITH SATAAAAAAAAAN!!!
#6:
Nitro: ARE toi READY TO RPG?!
Jon (taking out an RPG-7): Oh, motherfucker, I was born ready!
Nitro: Then let's get ready to RPG!!!
Party: RPG! RPG! RPG!
Jon: Well if toi say so!
(Fires a rocket at Marcie and Debbie)
(Cue a shout of "ALLAHU AKBAR!!!" followed par a building exploding)
#7:
Jon (singing): PLAAAYIN' GAMES WITH AN EVIL WITCH WOMAN "WHO'S DEFINITELY COLLEGE AGE", WAIT, WHY DID THAT GUY JUST BLOW SMOKE OUT OF HIS FACE?! THAT'S WEIRD... When toi die in the game, toi die in real life, except ya don't, toi go back to your dorm and play some GTA V!!
#8:
Debbie: RPG's aren't that bad.
Debbie's Teacher: Spells, poison, battles, maiming, killing?
Debbie: Yeah, but it's all imagination
Debbie's Teacher: IS IT?!
Jon: Is it, Debbie? Well I suggest toi read a totally real book that has absolutely no poisoning, maiming ou killing and it called the Holy Bible an- (pauses, staring blankly as he raises up the Bible).. Oh no... that book-that book done got that...
#9:
Woman: (Holds up an egg) This is your brain.
Jon: No it's not.
Woman: (Holds up a frying pan) And this is heroin.
Jon: No it's not. It's an egg and a pan.
Woman: This is what happens to your brain. (Smashes the egg with the frying pan)
Jon: No, that's what happens when toi smash a-a egg with a pan.
#10:
Woman: I didn't go around calling myself a farter.
Jon: Well that's probably a good thing, I don't know if toi wanna go around doing that, calling yourself that.
Woman: In my head, I was a social farter.
Jon: (Puzzled look)
Woman: I only farted occasionally.
Jon: I'm getting uncomfortable, I don't really like this, can we turn this one off?
Woman: And my boyfriend called me out on it.
Jon: And good on him. He's taking it right where it matters.
#11:
Jon: Whoa, shit dude, that alien just a volé, étole that dude's chicck!!
#12:
Dad character: My real name, is Hacket.. James Anthony Hackett, Jimmy.
Jon: Jimbo, Jim-Jar, sometimes down at the pub they'd call me Dan, but my name isn't "Dan". I was once visited par an alien species. They referred to me as [cue incomprehensible distortion]. I've never been able to unhear ou unsee that.
#13:
Phil Swift: Flex Tape, the super strong waterproof tape. (slaps it on fontaine hole, stopping the water from getting though) that could easily patch, bond, sheel, and repair.
(close up of Phil slapping the tape on the hole, to "Ghost l’amour Score")
Tour ette's guy: OHHHH, SHIT!!
#14:
L.O.G.: In line with Banjo tradition, your challenge will consist of collecting as many pointless objects as possible.
(Record Needle Scratch)
Jon: WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! toi JUST HOLD ON A SECOND!
(cut to a fat Banjo running and picking up coins at a horrendously slow pace)
Jon: HAHAHAHA GET IT? BECAUSE BANJO-KAZOOIE WAS TOTALLY "THIS" TEDIOUS! (cut to black) (Jon's voice far away) HOLY SHIT!
#15:
Jon: We get it, Rareware! toi used to be cool! Can-can toi get on with it? STOP!.. STOP IT!.. STOP TAUNTING ME!
#16: Jon: I mean, what if after Super Mario World, Nintendo came out with a teaser trailer for Super Mario 64, but upon release day, toi were greeted with MARIO CITY SIMULATOR?! AND THEN toi TURNED ON THE GAME AND SHIGERU MIYAMOTO'S GHOST COMES OUT AND IS LIKE "UHHH FUCKIN' WHO LIKES THE OLD MARIO GAMES AMIRITE? BRB, MAKIN' LEGEND OF ZELDA MODERN WARFARE!!!"
#17:
Jon: BAD!! BAD SNAKE!! BAD!!
#18:
Jerry: Aw man, toi and your dumb hobbies.
Jon [voiceover]: Yea, fuck toi for being interested in things, toi stupid bitch!
#19:
Jon: Oh megistic. Yeah all that's missing is a sign saying "Defiently not haunted"
#20:
Jon: Can we get to the romantic subplot already? Please?!
[Cut to a dit subplot]
Rod (boring voice): I work at a starter company called MCT Software. Got the stock option. Hopefully, if the company makes it big by-
Jon: NEVER MIND, I TAKE IT BACK!!
#21:
Jon: Wait, it's just a legend? It's just a silly old legend? I thought it was a real thing, like a real bateau with people on it that sank and they died. I s'pose that means my girlfriend's not real then. I guess there were some signs along the way. [flashback starts] When we were at that restaurant, the waiter, he said, "Why did toi order two meals and not eat one of them? toi just left it there to get cold." and I said, "Curb your tongue! That's my lady, and soon she will be departing on the great steam liner known as the Titanic that is definitely a real ship in the real world." and he said, "...Wait, what?"
#22:
Jon: She's sinking! The plot is sinking! Quick, hire the emergency writers! (tosses a bunch of script pages out the window)
THE NIKO/JOHNNY SERIES:
"The requested sequel to THE TREVOR PHILLIPS SERIES... With all the swearing, violence, and immature comedy toi guys enjoyed even plus then I "thought" toi people would..."
SEQUEL TO WALKING DEAD SPOOF:
"Don't read this stupid story unless toi like stupid comedies par an stupid Canadian writer who has no stupid life outside this stupid fan fiction site... :)"
ALPHA AND OMEGA REVIEWS:
"Warning: I swear a lot now. Along with giving, annoying brony references"
CRASHED PARTY:
"Roman makes the mistake of bringing Niko to Maisonette 9".
"The requested sequel to THE TREVOR PHILLIPS SERIES... With all the swearing, violence, and immature comedy toi guys enjoyed even plus then I "thought" toi people would..."
SEQUEL TO WALKING DEAD SPOOF:
"Don't read this stupid story unless toi like stupid comedies par an stupid Canadian writer who has no stupid life outside this stupid fan fiction site... :)"
ALPHA AND OMEGA REVIEWS:
"Warning: I swear a lot now. Along with giving, annoying brony references"
CRASHED PARTY:
"Roman makes the mistake of bringing Niko to Maisonette 9".
Anyone who's seen my Avatar photo, can clearly guess who my favori Hellsing character is.
And in honor of this, I decided to review a story par him.
And despite there being all these great stories of.
I am unfortunately reviewing a NOT SO GREAT one.
The story is parody themed.
And even has Maxwell naked in a scene (what the fuck!?).
Anyway.
As for the story itself.
The titre is clearly taken from a movie titled, just added "anderson" in it.
The story itself.
Well.. I have nothing to say.
But trust me.
It's bad..
And in honor of this, I decided to review a story par him.
And despite there being all these great stories of.
I am unfortunately reviewing a NOT SO GREAT one.
The story is parody themed.
And even has Maxwell naked in a scene (what the fuck!?).
Anyway.
As for the story itself.
The titre is clearly taken from a movie titled, just added "anderson" in it.
The story itself.
Well.. I have nothing to say.
But trust me.
It's bad..