Theme song: link
Seanthehedgehog presents
Ponies On The Rails
Starring
Peirce Hawkins "Hawkeye" From Seanthehedgehog
Red Rose From Chibiemmy
Coffee Creme From KarinaBrony
Snowflake & Orion From Alinah09
Metal Gloss From DragonAura15
Stylo From Jimmythedragon
Gordon, Percy, Jeff, Wilson, and Pete from Seanthehedgehog
Episode 33
The British Mexican
January 16, 1954
It was a nice, sunny day. The snow was melting, getting rid of one problem for everypony on the Union Pacific, but Gordon was causing another problem.
Gordon: I can't believe I was sent to work on the Norfoalk & Western. Why are they the only railroad in Equestria to not have any diesels?!
Hawkeye: Didn't one of the ponies working there tell you? It's from all that coal they have to transport.
Gordon: Yeah, well I can't stand that! *Pulls door off hinges* I won't rest until that railroad gets at least one diesel! *Throws door onto train tracks* I HATE STEAM!
Hawkeye: Yeah... We've noticed.
At the train yard, Pete went to check on the ponies working there, but he saw what Gordon was up to.
Pete: Oh boy.
Red Rose: Sir, what's the matter?
Pete: I'll give toi a hint. What's orange, fat, and hates steam trains?
Red Rose: Gordon.
Pete: *walks down to train station*
Gordon: *sees Pete walking from train yard* oh no. Run away!! *Runs into train station*
Pete: *Runs to train station*
Hawkeye: Go Pete. Don't let him get away.
Pete: *Runs into station*
Gordon: *Hiding behind Pete's office door*
Pete: Hmm. If I can't find Gordon, I guess I'll have to feu him.
Gordon: *Comes out of hiding* Sir! I'm sorry for what I did, please don't feu me!
Pete: Oh don't worry. I'm going to get toi therapy.
Gordon: Okay, feu me.
Pete: Relax, this poney is the best. Have toi ever heard of The British Mexican?
Gordon: What?
Pete: It's the nickname for Louis Bodine. He's one of the greatest therapists ever. He had british, and mexican relatives in his family, and that's why every poney calls him The British Mexican.
Gordon: That's stupid.
Pete: To toi it is. *Sees picture of Louis, and sighs* If only I knew where he was. Oh, and that door is coming out of your paycheck.
Gordon: I still would've preferred being fired.
Pete: And then where would toi go? Nopony else would want to hire, a pissed off overweight unicorn like you.
Gordon: Why don't toi give me some admiration instead of insults?
Pete: Good question.
Meanwhile, on the Duluth Missabe & Iron Range railroad.
Louis: What has been bothering toi my friend?
Worker: Our yellowstones are very powerful locomotives. However, our boss wants to scrap them all, and have diesels replace them.
Louis: That's a shame, but toi know it has to be done.
Worker: I don't want it to happen though! I understand that the pollution is bad, but that's the only problem with that locomotive.
The phone rings.
Louis: Wait here, *goes to phone, and picks up* Hello, this is The British Mexican. How may I help you?
Pete: Louis? It's Pete.
Louis: Hello Pete. What can I help toi with?
Pete: Can toi come down into Cheyenne, and help me out? One of my workers is very angry.
Louis: Why is he angry?
Pete: toi don't wanna know.
Louis: Okay, I'll be there in a jour ou two. *Hangs up*
Worker: Who was that?
Louis: I got a call from a very good friend of mine. He's the boss for a section of Union Pacific going through Cheyenne. Now, what else would toi like to talk about?
Worker: Nothing really. Thanks for coming down here Louis. toi made me feel better.
Louis: That's good to hear. I better get going, because I have to go all the way into Cheyenne Wyoming.
Worker: What for? On seconde thought, don't tell me.
Louis: Okay. *Leaves*
A jour ou two later
Louis: *Knocking on Pete's office door*
Pete: Come in.
Louis: *Walks in*
Pete: Good to see toi again.
Louis: Same here. Where's the poney that's very angry?
Gordon: Pete, Stylo called me a loser- *Sees Louis* Who the fuck are you?
Louis: Never heard of me? I'm The British Mexican, a therapist.
Gordon: Oh no. *runs away*
Louis: Gordon, get back here. You're not in any trouble!
Gordon: *Stops running* Whatever. I'm too tired to run anyway.
Louis: I heard from your boss that aren't too happy here.
Gordon: You're right.
Louis: Why aren't toi happy here?
Gordon: I just got back from working on another railroad.
Louis: Where was this railroad, and how long have toi worked there?
Gordon: The Norfoalk & Western, and I only had to work there for one day, last week.
Louis: Did something there happen to make toi mad?
Gordon: Yeah. I was just minding my own business, when Pete shows up, and sends me to work on the N&W.
Louis: What didn't toi like about it?
Gordon: *Mumbles* steam.
Louis: What?
Gordon: *Hits wall* STEEEEEEAM! All the engines on that railroad are steam engines, and not diesels! They have to fix that right away, ou I'll go crazy!
Louis: *grabs watch, and swings it around*
Gordon: *Watching watch*
Louis: toi are getting very sleepy. toi have forgotten why toi hate steam locomotives, and will sleep when I count to three. One, two, three.
Gordon: *falls asleep*
Pete: Very good.
Louis: And now, you'll wake up when I stomp my hooves on the floor. *Stomps hooves on floor*
Gordon: *Wakes up* What happened?
Louis: Nothing. toi may go now.
Gordon: Thank you.
Then, the sound of a broken window could be heard.
Gordon: What the? *Goes outside* My car!!
Orion: That's right. I destroyed it so I could get fired! Now, this will definitely work!
Gordon: *Goes to Louis* toi gotta take care of Orion, he's nuts.
Louis: Orion?
Louis soon saw Orion walk into the office.
Louis: salut you. Are toi Orion?
Orion: Yeah, what do toi want?
Louis: I want to talk to you.
Orion: About what?
Louis: What toi just did.
Orion: Oh boy! Am I going to get fired?! Please feu me!
Louis: I don't work for the Union Pacific, so I can't feu you.
Orion: Oh, well then I'm outta here. *Leaves*
Louis: Orion!
Orion: *Running, jumps off platform, and flies*
Louis: *Flies after Orion*
Orion: *Going high*
Louis: Oh jeez.
Orion: *Flying very fast at very high altitude* Haha!
Louis: I'm not that good at flying.
Orion: Now, which city am I currently flying over? *Looks down*
But all Orion could see was the Pacific Ocean
Orion: Oh no. I went too fast, and now I'm flying over an ocean! *Turns around* I don't see any land! *Flies down* Where did I- *Sees land* Aha! Land. *flies to it*
Back at Cheyenne
Louis: He just flew off, and now he's gone.
Pete: It's too bad toi got that disease which won't let toi fly as high as Orion.
Louis: I know, but we'll find him.
Stylo: *Arrives* salut Pete, have toi seen Orion? He's supposed to drive the seconde locomotive for our double header.
Louis: I have.
Stylo: No way. It's The British Mexican! What an honor to see you.
Louis: The honor is all mine.
Stylo: That's great. That really. So what are toi doing down here?
Louis: I was helping Gordon with something, and then he told me to help Orion.
Stylo: Oh yeah, those two need plus help than anypony else on this railroad.
Louis: Well, let's get some ponies to look for him.
A chercher party of pegasi were sent. They found Orion 40 minutes later, and brought him back.
Orion: *waiting on platform*
Pete: Now that you're back here, why would toi go off, and pull a dumb stunt like that?
Orion: He seemed like a stranger to me, and I didn't want to get hurt par him.
Pete: A stranger huh? Do toi even know who that poney was toi ran away from?
Orion: No.
Pete: It was The British Mexican.
Orion: Oh, I knew that.
Pete: Sure toi did.
Louis: Orion, why do tried to get fired on purpose?
Orion: My jobs keep getting switched too often.
Louis: Can't toi just quit?
Orion: Quit? And then what? Have Pete, ou somepony else shoot my brains out? No thank you.
Louis: They wouldn't do that.
Orion: toi don't know that.
Louis: Yes I do. I've been very good Friends with Pete, and I know him so well, that I know he wouldn't kill one of his own employees for quitting. What about Bartholomew Perfect? He quit, and nopony killed him.
Orion: The taxi driver could've killed him after they left.
Louis: No Orion. I can assure you, that Bartholomew Perfect is still alive. par now, he's probably so famous that he'll have his own TV show. Just wait, and see.
Orion: Okay.
Louis: Right, well I guess my work here is done. Adios. *Leaves*
Pete: *Waving goodbye* Adios.
Gordon: *Arrives* Is that therapist gone?
Pete: Yeah.
Gordon: Good, because he was right about one thing.
Orion: What might that be?
Gordon: I don't hate steam trains. I really, really despise them!
The End
On The suivant Episode of Ponies On The Rails
Everypony gets interviewed
SeanTheHedgehog Productions. Copyright, 2014
Seanthehedgehog presents
Ponies On The Rails
Starring
Peirce Hawkins "Hawkeye" From Seanthehedgehog
Red Rose From Chibiemmy
Coffee Creme From KarinaBrony
Snowflake & Orion From Alinah09
Metal Gloss From DragonAura15
Stylo From Jimmythedragon
Gordon, Percy, Jeff, Wilson, and Pete from Seanthehedgehog
Episode 33
The British Mexican
January 16, 1954
It was a nice, sunny day. The snow was melting, getting rid of one problem for everypony on the Union Pacific, but Gordon was causing another problem.
Gordon: I can't believe I was sent to work on the Norfoalk & Western. Why are they the only railroad in Equestria to not have any diesels?!
Hawkeye: Didn't one of the ponies working there tell you? It's from all that coal they have to transport.
Gordon: Yeah, well I can't stand that! *Pulls door off hinges* I won't rest until that railroad gets at least one diesel! *Throws door onto train tracks* I HATE STEAM!
Hawkeye: Yeah... We've noticed.
At the train yard, Pete went to check on the ponies working there, but he saw what Gordon was up to.
Pete: Oh boy.
Red Rose: Sir, what's the matter?
Pete: I'll give toi a hint. What's orange, fat, and hates steam trains?
Red Rose: Gordon.
Pete: *walks down to train station*
Gordon: *sees Pete walking from train yard* oh no. Run away!! *Runs into train station*
Pete: *Runs to train station*
Hawkeye: Go Pete. Don't let him get away.
Pete: *Runs into station*
Gordon: *Hiding behind Pete's office door*
Pete: Hmm. If I can't find Gordon, I guess I'll have to feu him.
Gordon: *Comes out of hiding* Sir! I'm sorry for what I did, please don't feu me!
Pete: Oh don't worry. I'm going to get toi therapy.
Gordon: Okay, feu me.
Pete: Relax, this poney is the best. Have toi ever heard of The British Mexican?
Gordon: What?
Pete: It's the nickname for Louis Bodine. He's one of the greatest therapists ever. He had british, and mexican relatives in his family, and that's why every poney calls him The British Mexican.
Gordon: That's stupid.
Pete: To toi it is. *Sees picture of Louis, and sighs* If only I knew where he was. Oh, and that door is coming out of your paycheck.
Gordon: I still would've preferred being fired.
Pete: And then where would toi go? Nopony else would want to hire, a pissed off overweight unicorn like you.
Gordon: Why don't toi give me some admiration instead of insults?
Pete: Good question.
Meanwhile, on the Duluth Missabe & Iron Range railroad.
Louis: What has been bothering toi my friend?
Worker: Our yellowstones are very powerful locomotives. However, our boss wants to scrap them all, and have diesels replace them.
Louis: That's a shame, but toi know it has to be done.
Worker: I don't want it to happen though! I understand that the pollution is bad, but that's the only problem with that locomotive.
The phone rings.
Louis: Wait here, *goes to phone, and picks up* Hello, this is The British Mexican. How may I help you?
Pete: Louis? It's Pete.
Louis: Hello Pete. What can I help toi with?
Pete: Can toi come down into Cheyenne, and help me out? One of my workers is very angry.
Louis: Why is he angry?
Pete: toi don't wanna know.
Louis: Okay, I'll be there in a jour ou two. *Hangs up*
Worker: Who was that?
Louis: I got a call from a very good friend of mine. He's the boss for a section of Union Pacific going through Cheyenne. Now, what else would toi like to talk about?
Worker: Nothing really. Thanks for coming down here Louis. toi made me feel better.
Louis: That's good to hear. I better get going, because I have to go all the way into Cheyenne Wyoming.
Worker: What for? On seconde thought, don't tell me.
Louis: Okay. *Leaves*
A jour ou two later
Louis: *Knocking on Pete's office door*
Pete: Come in.
Louis: *Walks in*
Pete: Good to see toi again.
Louis: Same here. Where's the poney that's very angry?
Gordon: Pete, Stylo called me a loser- *Sees Louis* Who the fuck are you?
Louis: Never heard of me? I'm The British Mexican, a therapist.
Gordon: Oh no. *runs away*
Louis: Gordon, get back here. You're not in any trouble!
Gordon: *Stops running* Whatever. I'm too tired to run anyway.
Louis: I heard from your boss that aren't too happy here.
Gordon: You're right.
Louis: Why aren't toi happy here?
Gordon: I just got back from working on another railroad.
Louis: Where was this railroad, and how long have toi worked there?
Gordon: The Norfoalk & Western, and I only had to work there for one day, last week.
Louis: Did something there happen to make toi mad?
Gordon: Yeah. I was just minding my own business, when Pete shows up, and sends me to work on the N&W.
Louis: What didn't toi like about it?
Gordon: *Mumbles* steam.
Louis: What?
Gordon: *Hits wall* STEEEEEEAM! All the engines on that railroad are steam engines, and not diesels! They have to fix that right away, ou I'll go crazy!
Louis: *grabs watch, and swings it around*
Gordon: *Watching watch*
Louis: toi are getting very sleepy. toi have forgotten why toi hate steam locomotives, and will sleep when I count to three. One, two, three.
Gordon: *falls asleep*
Pete: Very good.
Louis: And now, you'll wake up when I stomp my hooves on the floor. *Stomps hooves on floor*
Gordon: *Wakes up* What happened?
Louis: Nothing. toi may go now.
Gordon: Thank you.
Then, the sound of a broken window could be heard.
Gordon: What the? *Goes outside* My car!!
Orion: That's right. I destroyed it so I could get fired! Now, this will definitely work!
Gordon: *Goes to Louis* toi gotta take care of Orion, he's nuts.
Louis: Orion?
Louis soon saw Orion walk into the office.
Louis: salut you. Are toi Orion?
Orion: Yeah, what do toi want?
Louis: I want to talk to you.
Orion: About what?
Louis: What toi just did.
Orion: Oh boy! Am I going to get fired?! Please feu me!
Louis: I don't work for the Union Pacific, so I can't feu you.
Orion: Oh, well then I'm outta here. *Leaves*
Louis: Orion!
Orion: *Running, jumps off platform, and flies*
Louis: *Flies after Orion*
Orion: *Going high*
Louis: Oh jeez.
Orion: *Flying very fast at very high altitude* Haha!
Louis: I'm not that good at flying.
Orion: Now, which city am I currently flying over? *Looks down*
But all Orion could see was the Pacific Ocean
Orion: Oh no. I went too fast, and now I'm flying over an ocean! *Turns around* I don't see any land! *Flies down* Where did I- *Sees land* Aha! Land. *flies to it*
Back at Cheyenne
Louis: He just flew off, and now he's gone.
Pete: It's too bad toi got that disease which won't let toi fly as high as Orion.
Louis: I know, but we'll find him.
Stylo: *Arrives* salut Pete, have toi seen Orion? He's supposed to drive the seconde locomotive for our double header.
Louis: I have.
Stylo: No way. It's The British Mexican! What an honor to see you.
Louis: The honor is all mine.
Stylo: That's great. That really. So what are toi doing down here?
Louis: I was helping Gordon with something, and then he told me to help Orion.
Stylo: Oh yeah, those two need plus help than anypony else on this railroad.
Louis: Well, let's get some ponies to look for him.
A chercher party of pegasi were sent. They found Orion 40 minutes later, and brought him back.
Orion: *waiting on platform*
Pete: Now that you're back here, why would toi go off, and pull a dumb stunt like that?
Orion: He seemed like a stranger to me, and I didn't want to get hurt par him.
Pete: A stranger huh? Do toi even know who that poney was toi ran away from?
Orion: No.
Pete: It was The British Mexican.
Orion: Oh, I knew that.
Pete: Sure toi did.
Louis: Orion, why do tried to get fired on purpose?
Orion: My jobs keep getting switched too often.
Louis: Can't toi just quit?
Orion: Quit? And then what? Have Pete, ou somepony else shoot my brains out? No thank you.
Louis: They wouldn't do that.
Orion: toi don't know that.
Louis: Yes I do. I've been very good Friends with Pete, and I know him so well, that I know he wouldn't kill one of his own employees for quitting. What about Bartholomew Perfect? He quit, and nopony killed him.
Orion: The taxi driver could've killed him after they left.
Louis: No Orion. I can assure you, that Bartholomew Perfect is still alive. par now, he's probably so famous that he'll have his own TV show. Just wait, and see.
Orion: Okay.
Louis: Right, well I guess my work here is done. Adios. *Leaves*
Pete: *Waving goodbye* Adios.
Gordon: *Arrives* Is that therapist gone?
Pete: Yeah.
Gordon: Good, because he was right about one thing.
Orion: What might that be?
Gordon: I don't hate steam trains. I really, really despise them!
The End
On The suivant Episode of Ponies On The Rails
Everypony gets interviewed
SeanTheHedgehog Productions. Copyright, 2014