Narrator: Once, in the land of the Great Sea, there was a young, brave, and courageous boy named Link. He was a dumb little shit, and he was kind of an asshole, really, but, he went through many hardships, fought countless monsters, and was a total dick to everyone. He met a young female pirate named Tetra, who he tried to hit on a dozen times, because, like I said, he was a real asshole. However, Spoiler Alert, Link was able to find that tétra was actually the Princess Zelda. But, After this, she was kidnapped par the evil green skinned man, Ganondorf. So, Link used every ounce of his doucheness to defeat Ganondorf and save Tetra, only to hit on her, making her wish she was still imprisoned. And so, since Link's original sidekick died ou something, they both sailed throughout the land, helping anyone in need of it. Not because it was the right thing to do, but Link was, toi guessed it, an asshole and just wanted rewards. So, anyway, lets begin.
Link: So, anyway, where's the first place we should go.
Tetra: Well, if we want to get everything, we should head to your accueil island.
Link: ...... Ah ha ha. Okay, Tetra... I thought I made it perfectly clear that, I would rather drill my scrotum to a mur then return to that piece of shit island, remember.
Tetra: And I told toi that if we want stuff, we gotta help people.
Link: Then toi help them.
Tetra: Are toi serious. I'm not the one who went through multiple dungeons to kill a green skinned guy.
Link: But you're a pirate. They should be experts in fighting.
Tetra: But I am also a princess, and this is a Nintendo game. Incase toi forgot, all Nintendo princess are useless as hell.
Link: ........ Damn, toi got me there. Well, who is the first person we need to help.
Tetra: Well, it's your grandma.
Link: .......... Anyone OTHER then my grandma
Tetra: Link, if toi want a reward, then toi will help her
Link: How do toi know it isn't something useless.
Tetra: How do toi know it isn't something awesome.
Link: Touche.
(Later, on Outset Island)
Link: (In his grandma's house) Grandma.... are you, unfortunately, in here.
Grandma: (Sick) Ugh.... How's there? Is it Death? I'm coming, Henry.
Link: My god, I think the olstimers has finally kicked in.
Tetra: Okay, Link, toi just need to go and get a fairy from the forest.
Link: A fairy? What will that do.
Tetra: All fées are cure in this world. Hell, if we wanted to, we could use them to cure AIDS
Link: Man, the world of video games sure are plus advanced in this kind of shit
(Later, in the forest)
Link: Okay, so, I just need to get to the fairy foun- (See's a destroyed bridge) ..... well, shit, grandma's dead
Tetra: (Off screen) LINK!
Link: Okay, I'll just go around
(Later)
Link: Okay, so, I finally found the foun- (See's boulder blocking fountain) .... Well, grandma's screwed
Tetra: Don't make me come over there... seriously, its like a thiry minutes walk, plus having to fight a few monsters.
Link: Fine (Blows up boulder with bomb, and speaks to the fairy)
Great Fairy: Hello, hero
Link: Dear god. Why do toi have four arms
Great Fairy: Because, shut up. Now, here, take this fairy and piss off
Link: With pleasure. Anything to get away from you, Miss Traumatizing
Great Fairy: What was that?
Link: Nothing
(Later, at Grandma's House)
Link: Here, I got the damn fairy (Uses it on his grandma)
Grandma: (Wakes up) Oh, young radio star, is that yo- Oh, its just toi Link
Link: Yeah, its just me. So, I saved you, so give me a reward
Grandma: Fine, I'll give toi something. Wait right here (Walks out of room)
Tetra: See Link, that wasn't so bad
Grandma: (Walks in with a bottle full of yellow liquid) Here. It's Grandma Soup
Link: Thanks Gra- (Smells it) Grandma, this soupe smells like piss
Grandma: Exactly. Drink it up, bitch
Link: ....................
Tetra: .....................
(Later, on the ship)
Link: It was fucking worth it, huh
Tetra: Okay, so, I was wrong. I'm sorry
Link: Oh, your sorry. I was holding my granny's piss in a bottle. Sorry doesn't fucking cut it
Tetra: Well, look on the bright side. Can it get worse
Narrator. rejoindre us suivant time when Link does plus chores for lazy cul, ass people.
Link: Wait... I got to do plus of this shit
Narrator: Yep
Link: ..... You... Mother... FU-
TO BE CONTINUED
Link: So, anyway, where's the first place we should go.
Tetra: Well, if we want to get everything, we should head to your accueil island.
Link: ...... Ah ha ha. Okay, Tetra... I thought I made it perfectly clear that, I would rather drill my scrotum to a mur then return to that piece of shit island, remember.
Tetra: And I told toi that if we want stuff, we gotta help people.
Link: Then toi help them.
Tetra: Are toi serious. I'm not the one who went through multiple dungeons to kill a green skinned guy.
Link: But you're a pirate. They should be experts in fighting.
Tetra: But I am also a princess, and this is a Nintendo game. Incase toi forgot, all Nintendo princess are useless as hell.
Link: ........ Damn, toi got me there. Well, who is the first person we need to help.
Tetra: Well, it's your grandma.
Link: .......... Anyone OTHER then my grandma
Tetra: Link, if toi want a reward, then toi will help her
Link: How do toi know it isn't something useless.
Tetra: How do toi know it isn't something awesome.
Link: Touche.
(Later, on Outset Island)
Link: (In his grandma's house) Grandma.... are you, unfortunately, in here.
Grandma: (Sick) Ugh.... How's there? Is it Death? I'm coming, Henry.
Link: My god, I think the olstimers has finally kicked in.
Tetra: Okay, Link, toi just need to go and get a fairy from the forest.
Link: A fairy? What will that do.
Tetra: All fées are cure in this world. Hell, if we wanted to, we could use them to cure AIDS
Link: Man, the world of video games sure are plus advanced in this kind of shit
(Later, in the forest)
Link: Okay, so, I just need to get to the fairy foun- (See's a destroyed bridge) ..... well, shit, grandma's dead
Tetra: (Off screen) LINK!
Link: Okay, I'll just go around
(Later)
Link: Okay, so, I finally found the foun- (See's boulder blocking fountain) .... Well, grandma's screwed
Tetra: Don't make me come over there... seriously, its like a thiry minutes walk, plus having to fight a few monsters.
Link: Fine (Blows up boulder with bomb, and speaks to the fairy)
Great Fairy: Hello, hero
Link: Dear god. Why do toi have four arms
Great Fairy: Because, shut up. Now, here, take this fairy and piss off
Link: With pleasure. Anything to get away from you, Miss Traumatizing
Great Fairy: What was that?
Link: Nothing
(Later, at Grandma's House)
Link: Here, I got the damn fairy (Uses it on his grandma)
Grandma: (Wakes up) Oh, young radio star, is that yo- Oh, its just toi Link
Link: Yeah, its just me. So, I saved you, so give me a reward
Grandma: Fine, I'll give toi something. Wait right here (Walks out of room)
Tetra: See Link, that wasn't so bad
Grandma: (Walks in with a bottle full of yellow liquid) Here. It's Grandma Soup
Link: Thanks Gra- (Smells it) Grandma, this soupe smells like piss
Grandma: Exactly. Drink it up, bitch
Link: ....................
Tetra: .....................
(Later, on the ship)
Link: It was fucking worth it, huh
Tetra: Okay, so, I was wrong. I'm sorry
Link: Oh, your sorry. I was holding my granny's piss in a bottle. Sorry doesn't fucking cut it
Tetra: Well, look on the bright side. Can it get worse
Narrator. rejoindre us suivant time when Link does plus chores for lazy cul, ass people.
Link: Wait... I got to do plus of this shit
Narrator: Yep
Link: ..... You... Mother... FU-
TO BE CONTINUED
What in the name of god. They are already ready remaking Grand Theft Auto 5.
Now, don't get me wrong. I l’amour Grand Theft Auto 5. I think it is one of the funnest games I have played in 2013. But, seriously, it's only one an old, and already they are remaking it for Playstation 4 and XBox One. Seriously, toi should at least give a game some time to age before toi remake it. Look at Ocarina of Time, a game which people a dit is the greatest game ever, which was made back in 1999. The remake for the 3DS wasn't made until 2012, which is years later. Honestly, they are already remaking GTA 5. Sure, the graphics are better, but the thing is that the graphics were amazing to begin with. Why are toi remaking this game so early, Rockstar. But, hey, that's only my opinion. What's Your Take
Now, don't get me wrong. I l’amour Grand Theft Auto 5. I think it is one of the funnest games I have played in 2013. But, seriously, it's only one an old, and already they are remaking it for Playstation 4 and XBox One. Seriously, toi should at least give a game some time to age before toi remake it. Look at Ocarina of Time, a game which people a dit is the greatest game ever, which was made back in 1999. The remake for the 3DS wasn't made until 2012, which is years later. Honestly, they are already remaking GTA 5. Sure, the graphics are better, but the thing is that the graphics were amazing to begin with. Why are toi remaking this game so early, Rockstar. But, hey, that's only my opinion. What's Your Take
*ding dong*
???: what is it?
Henry: hello Simon
Simon: Henry! toi still wearing that tux?
Henry: every chance I get
Simon: heh... oh... toi brought soldiers
Dex: why does everyone think i'm a soldier?
Marcus: no idea...
Henry: toi seem calmer since the last time a saw you...
Simon: I take pills... anyway, why are toi here?
Henry: we need toi back
Simon: no way! i'm NOT going back to Klintsy!
Henry: we are close to taking down Harper and Dominic.
Simon: why don't fight your own war!
Henry: toi are the only one that knows Harper and his tactics.
Simon: ok then, come inside so I can teach toi
Henry: toi and I both know that he still has some sanity left...
Simon: ... *sigh* lets go...
???: what is it?
Henry: hello Simon
Simon: Henry! toi still wearing that tux?
Henry: every chance I get
Simon: heh... oh... toi brought soldiers
Dex: why does everyone think i'm a soldier?
Marcus: no idea...
Henry: toi seem calmer since the last time a saw you...
Simon: I take pills... anyway, why are toi here?
Henry: we need toi back
Simon: no way! i'm NOT going back to Klintsy!
Henry: we are close to taking down Harper and Dominic.
Simon: why don't fight your own war!
Henry: toi are the only one that knows Harper and his tactics.
Simon: ok then, come inside so I can teach toi
Henry: toi and I both know that he still has some sanity left...
Simon: ... *sigh* lets go...
???: get in the car Dex
Dex: *gets in car* this is what the hell toi do!
???: yep *starts driving*
Dex: I almost got killed 3 times!
*BANG BANG BANG BANG*
Both: holy shi*!
Dex: make that 4 times!
???: hold on!
*ERRRCH*
Dex: why the hell did toi bring me along!?
???: toi figured out!
Dex: that does not mean that toi have to bring me with you!
???: in the films people usually want to tag
along!
Dex: why would toi think I would want to tag along on a dangerous mission!?
???: I thought it would be a quick diplomat thing!
Dex: there are 10 guys chasing after us in sport cars!
???: WELCOME TO MY WORLD!
Dex: *gets in car* this is what the hell toi do!
???: yep *starts driving*
Dex: I almost got killed 3 times!
*BANG BANG BANG BANG*
Both: holy shi*!
Dex: make that 4 times!
???: hold on!
*ERRRCH*
Dex: why the hell did toi bring me along!?
???: toi figured out!
Dex: that does not mean that toi have to bring me with you!
???: in the films people usually want to tag
along!
Dex: why would toi think I would want to tag along on a dangerous mission!?
???: I thought it would be a quick diplomat thing!
Dex: there are 10 guys chasing after us in sport cars!
???: WELCOME TO MY WORLD!