la saga Twilight Article: Funny Twilight Quotes! :D

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posted by Renesmee_08

1) I was pale before Twilight made it cool.

2) I drive like a Cullen.

3) Jacob could BEAST f*ck me ANYTIME!!!

4) Looks at Edward...Damn he's hot, Jacob walks up...Edward who?

5) Does someone need a Jasper hug?

6) When Emmett Cullen does pushups, he doesn't push himself up; he pushes the ground down.

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Blondes may have plus fun, but Edward prefers Brunettes.

8) "You're pale white...and ice cold...I know what toi are" "Say it... Out loud." "A SNOWMAN!"

9) Having a pulse? ... So overrated.

10) "Are toi afraid?" "No." "Then let's dance!"

11) Emmett: I have to get accueil for the game. Alice: They lose. Emmett: F*** toi Alice! F*** YOU!

12) This may hurt just a little. *Jane squeezes Bella's wrist.*

13) "And so the hienna fell in l’amour with the pop tart."

14) Edward makes Peeping Toms sexy.

15) Dear Jacob: I win. Sincerely, Edward.

16) Note to everyone: go to Alice's parties ou she will kidnapp toi and force toi to go!

17) Edward can BUST my headboard, BITE my pillows, and BRUISE my body ANYDAY!

18) Do that again, and I will so give toi a papercut in front of Jasper.

19) It’s all fun and games until someone gets a papercut!

20) Give blood- rendez-vous amoureux, date a Cullen.

21) Forks: where sparkly men tell toi that toi smell delicious.

22) It’s thundery, which can only mean one thing. Speed dial my hunting team! We’re searching every field in a five mile radius!

23) If an pomme a jour keeps the doctor away....SCREW APPLES! I WANNA SEE DR.CULLEN!

24) toi don’t like Twilight? That’s okay. It’s ok if I stick your head in a blender as well, right?

25) I’m sorry, did toi say something? It didn’t sound Twilight related, so I wasn’t paying attention.

26) Well they do say diamonds are a girl’s best friend, and chiens are mans’ best friend!

27) My room is Edward-proof. Freshly greased window so it won’t stick, brand new pillows and high central heating. I even have that rocking chair he loves...

28) Who needs a boyfriend? We have Twilight.

29) I so don’t understand this whole ‘Edward ou Jacob. Who’s hotter?’ thing. I mean we all know the real question is Jasper ou Emmett. Who’s colder and sexier?

30) roses are red. Violets are blue. I l’amour Twilight. So should you.

31) Screw Santa, I want Edward Cullen to come down my chimney!

32) Eat->Sleep->Read Twilight->Watch Twilight->Repeat.

33)I wonder if Edward and his family knew when Bella was on her period? Hmm... pretty embarrassing...

34) Some find Edward Cullen romantic. However, if he looked his actual age, would toi think it romantic for an old, haggard, 110 an old man to be sneaking into an 18 an old girl's room to watch her sleep?

35) I can live without food, but I can’t do without my daily dose of Twilight.

36) Who needs a life? I have Twilight.

37) I'm not sleeping till I get a piggy back from Emmett!

38) Loreal Jasper- Because you're worth it

39) When Life Gives toi Lemons, THROW THEM BACK AND DEMAND FOR EDWARD CULLEN!!!

40) If i get sick take me to Dr Cullen

41) Edward Cullen: The Other White Meat

42) Keep Calm and l’amour Twilight

43) Oh Hale No!

44) I didn't get my letter to Hogwarts, so I'm moving to Forks instead.

45) Forget a knight in shining armor, I want a vampire in shiny Volvo!

46) Team Edward, except when Jacob is shirtless...

47) Unconditionally and irrevocably Twilight obsessed.

mr-cullen, BloodyObsession and 1 other like this

Elle-C This was truly hilarious -- thanks for posting!

bella and edwards story (eclipes movie)

posted by hi_i_am_bob

toi think that life is with the one toi l’amour but it's not. life means toi can l’amour plus then one person and still want that one toi truly love.

bella: hi edward whatcha doing?
edward: bella what would toi say if i told toi to stay in the car?
bella:i would say no.

they get out the car and jacob is over on the sidewalk with his mortarcycle.

jacob:she has a right to know.
bella:to know what?
edward:just leave.

bella gets on jacob's bike and they go for a ride to the loup packs house.
The night rolls in and alice is over at charie's house talking to charie about bella staying the night with them out of...

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Carlisle and Rosalie

posted by basketballstar

This short story is about Carlisle's worry for Rosalie. He sees her getting angrier as Edward falls plus and plus in l’amour with Bella. Once again, the story is told from Edward's point of view. It is mainly based on Twilight, and what I have read from Midnight Sun. I suppose there is a bit of Eclipse in there as well. When écriture it, I was easily able to imagine Rosalie's horrified expression, and I hope toi can too! Please commentaire and tell me what toi think!!
*****************

I was always considered Carlisle’s first son, as such. I had been with him the longest. I knew his moods as well...

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Changed Plans (Bella's Pov) Chapter 9

posted by rubytuesday101

2 Days later:
Edward and everyone has gone hunting,i have to stay with charlie all jour incase Victoria comes again.Edward didnt want to go but i made him because his eyes were pitch black,he a dit he was fine but i told him if he doesnt go hunting he would end up hurting me and that would hurt Renesmee,that made him agree to go.Charlie was filling out some papers and i was just sitting there then my phone started ringing.I took my phone out and looked at the caller ID it was mum.
"Hello"i a dit to her wondering why she is calling me.
"Oh bella where are you?"she asked worried.
"I am at the ploice...

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Eclipse Movie: MandaPanda's Review

posted by mandapanda

Today is a landmark for Twilight fans because Eclipse, the third installment of the Twilight Series, has finally hit theatres.

I have had the opportunity to see it twice and counting. I have to agree with the critics when I say, “Eclipse was the best ‘Twilight’ yet.” It definitely was. Not only did the cinematography add to the film’s richness, but the elements from the book were captured on film. This film brought the book it was based on to life. This film was the only movie that was successful in that aspect.

All in all, I loved the movie! I thought it stuck very close to the book,...

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emmett cullen l’amour story chapter 12

posted by karpach_13

toi started pacing and Alice just watched you. toi heard a car door slam. toi ran to the door and saw the guys with the little girl. She was smiling at you. toi saw Jaspers worry face. toi looked at Edward and thought.
You: Why is Jasper looking worried?
Edward: Human.
You nodded and the little girl jumped from Emmett's arms and ran to you. She hugged your legs and toi smiled to yourself. toi felt so protective of this girl. toi picked her up and she kissed your cheek.
Girl: toi are my new mommy?
You looked at Emmett and he nodded.
You: Yes. What is your name dear?
Girl: Sabrina
You: Well how old are...

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breaking dawn book 2 edwards pov chapter 10

posted by xroylex

bella slept all that night she looked so fragile if it wernt for the fact that her breathing was so heavy i would be sure she was dead. that thought hurt plus then the thought of her leaving me and that was really bad.
but life it seams was allways going to be like this me putting bella in danger she on the verg of dieing.
but this was par far the worst.

i heard jacob comming in "jocobs outside he is just resting.
`ill go meet him i could use some air toi say with bella edward i am getting a little worried` carlisle sighed.
"im just going to meet jacob and talk to him for a while" he sighed...

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New Moon - Chapter 2 - Stitches (pages 49-52)

posted by 2468244

*by Stephenie Meyer*

NEW MOON - chapter 2 - STITCHES

“How does your arm feel?”
“Just fine.” Actually, it was starting to blaze under the bandage. I wanted ice. I would have settled for his hand, but that would have donné me away.
“I’ll get toi some Tylenol.”
“I don’t need anything,” I protested, but he slid me off his lap and headed for the door.
“Charlie,” I hissed. Charlie wasn’t exactly aware that Edward stayed over. In fact, he would have a stroke if the fact were brought to his attention. But I didn’t feel too guilty for deceiving him. It wasn’t as if we were...

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True Lies,Teen Girls(Chapter Nine)

posted by moolah

Alice’s P.O.V:
I was lying on the hard ground suivant to Edward who was punching the ground suivant to him. He tried to say through a rope that he hated me and I just sat their.
He knew he had to think of something quick. Bella had gotten a phone call from Victoria and was going to die soon. He also knew that it was easy to blame it all on me. He finally bit through the rope and started yelling at me-and punching my back from his tied hands. I wouldn’t admit it to anyone but it actually hurt. Inside and Out. My brother hurting me didn’t feel so hot.
Victoria came in and walked around the room...

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Changed Plans (Bella's Pov) Chapter 6

posted by rubytuesday101

1 mois later:

I have 3 months to go untill Renesmee is born,i look like i am 7 months pregnant but i dont mind.I have been spending nearly everyday with jacob we have become even closer than before but i dont see him plus than a friend i think he knows that.Today is Friday and it is the end of school today is graduation,alice got me something to wear and i went to my graduation.The ceremony only took about and heure and a half then it was over i went to a restraunte with charlie then alice brought me up to her house because she a dit she had stuff for me and renesmee.We drove up there and went...

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Borrowed lives XX

posted by Tatti

The reaction was instant - strict and cooperating Volturi guards became ferocious and unthinking hunters. Snarling, growling, hissing and sharp sounds of body parts being ripped... I knew that my plan was working and they were distracted from everything else except their prey. And that was me.
"I can't believe you've done this" Nessie frowned and took the couteau from me. I realized that she was too close to me and in case any vampire will reach us she might get hurt too.
"It's not safe" I whispered and tried to ignore pain that flooded me every time I took a breath. "Go home"
"What? No, don't...

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Changed Plans (Bella's Pov) Chapter 5

posted by rubytuesday101

Today is Saturday edward and the cullens are going hunting so i guess edward is goin to tell everyone what happened i bet alice will be over later.I got up and got dressed i ate breakfast and started watching tv.I was trying to think what i could do today,i havent seen Jacob in a while not since he told me he was a werewolf edward a dit it was dangerous.But he cant tell me what to do,so i got up and called jacob.
"Hello?"it was jacob it was good to hear his husky voice.
"Hi jake it's bella"i a dit to him.
"Bella!,hi how are ya!"he a dit now sounding really happy i chuckled a bit.
"Im fine how are...

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Kayla's Visions, Chapter 38

posted by twilight-7

Kayla’s POV

“What’s the sex?” Alice squealed as Carlisle moved the probe over my belly. She was gazing adoringly at the image of my baby on the screen. Knowing we were looking, the baby gave a little nudge. It was harder than I was used to but not painful.
“Did toi see the baby kick?” Alice asked me, her eyes not leaving the screen.
“I felt it, Alice,” I said, smiling at her.
Edward’s eyes were flitting between me and the screen. He had been watching me carefully the past few days and it had been quite annoying. I made sure he heard that in my thoughts.
“I will only say if...

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Borrowed lifes XIV

posted by Tatti

When I regained consciousness I didn't open my eyes. I tried to listen what's happening around.
"Maybe toi should Kiss her? Your one glance made her faint, maybe a Kiss will wake her up?" Jacob teased someone who, I guess, was Embry.
"Shut up" Embry's voice was anxious.
"Is she all right?" Bella was concerned about me.
"I think she's fine but maybe I should scan her head. Remember how she fainted last time? It might indicate a problem" Carlisle was going to scan me? It would be clever to admit that my faintness has nothing to do with my brain, but then I should mention the fact that it might be...

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Renesmee's POV 4 years later

posted by LexisFaith

Sorry to jump like that, but this is going to start a new story. Kind of. Just read and I hope toi guys like it :)
__________________________________________________

Four years goes par faster than you'd think it would.
Sarah has grown so much. I see plus and plus Jacob in her everyday. Certin things she says, faces she makes. She's not a baby anymore.

I picked her up from daycare that jour and she was coloring on the cuisine table.
"Mommy?" She asked never looking up from her picture.
"Yes sweetie?" I wiped my hands off on the towel and sat suivant her.
"How come I don't have a daddy like Emma?" She put...

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True Lies,Teen Girls(Chapter Seven)

posted by moolah

Bella crys about Rosalie to Carlisle.

Bella’s P.O.V:
“Rosalie?” Carlisle asked, confused. “I thought toi guys were best friends.” “Yeah, so did me.” I sounded pathetic, complaining about Rosalie.
“Honey, leave it is-you know Rosalie.” He said. “I know. But she a dit she could…well…” He sighed, “Bella spit it out.” I fell to the floor crying, “Dazzle him. She a dit she could dazzle him and seduce him.” He ran over to me and scooped me up in his arms against his chest, “Oh, Bella.” He set me down in the chair. “Bella, nobody other than toi can ‘dazzle’ my son.” I sniffled and nodded.
Then...

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Didyme

posted by countrygirl2008

Have toi ever wondered about MArcus 's wife?i have ,so i decided to do a little digging and here is what i pulled up:

Once upon a time, a fairly young vampire (he had only been a vampire for a decade and a half) named Aro changed his young sister Didyme, who had just reached adulthood, into a vampire in order to add her to his growing coven. Aro always wanted power, and because he himself had a potent mind-reading gift, he hoped his biological sister would also be gifted in a way that would help him rise in the vampire world. It turned out that Didyme did have a gift; she carried with her an...

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Changed Plans (Bella's Pov) Chapter 1

posted by rubytuesday101

Two weeks il y a it was my 18th birthday Edwards family threw a surprise party for me,but it went horrible wrong.I cut my fingure and Jasper tried to kill me,edward flung me back but i cut myself on glass.Carlisle fixed me but i knew edward was very upset.He hated himself he a dit it was his fault but its not,he a dit a normal boyfriend could stay with me if i was bleading.I didint say anything to him i just let him get his anger out he needed to.That night Charlie got called out and had to go then edward changed he started s’embrasser me and didnt stop.We made l’amour that night the best night of my life.I...

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Is This Really Happening? (Bella's pov)Chapter 5

posted by rubytuesday101

The night went fast now it is time to go to schoo,i got my bag and my swimming stuff and got in my car and drove to school.I got there and alice came over to me jasper was with her.
"Good morning"she a dit in a happy voice.
"Good morning to toi too"i a dit to her.
"So are toi a good swimmer?"she asked.
"Well i like going swimming"i a dit to her.
"Edward is a really good swimmer"she a dit getting excited.
"I can beat him"i a dit smiling a bit.
"Maybe toi two could have a race"she a dit excited noe about a race.
"I dont think so"i a dit thinking about the last time me and edward went swimming.
We went into the...

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Renesmee (#3)

posted by LexisFaith

3 months later...

"Come on." I whispered as i listened to Jacob's phone ring on the other end. "Pick up."
I whiped down the cuisine counters to give myself something to do. "Pick up, pick up, pick up."
"Hey it's Jake. Leave a message." His voicemail picked up.
I rolled my eyes. "Jake. What good does it do to have a phone if toi never answer. I could be dying!" I huffed and hung up.
I set the house phone back on the hook and went into our room. I made the lit and grabbed the dirty towels from our bathroom. I pick up Jake's jeans and his cell phone fell out of his back pocket. "Ugh." I groaned...

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True Lies,Teen Girls(Chapter Four)

posted by moolah

While Rose ditched the girls...

Rosalie’s P.O.V:
Riding in silence I heard Bella open her cell phone in the back and type in numbers. “Who are toi calling?” I asked looking at the back montrer mirror. “You don’t need to know.” She snapped back like a rubber band. I snorted, “You know you’re an ungrateful snobby bitch.” She gaped at me, “Oh yeah, well at least I don’t have to stuff toilet paper down my shirt. I have real ones.” I screamed madly, “Oh please, if toi had real ones toi would have had sex with Edward already.” “At least I have a shot at having a kid, ass.” That’s where I got mad...