Here's some of my fave "I wasnt that drunk" jokes hope toi like :)
"I wasn't that drunk"
"You saw a ginger girl eating blueberries and screamed 'No Foxface! Not the berries!'"
"You ran into Walmart and when toi heard someone talking on the intercom, toi fell to your knees and said, 'God has spoken!'"
"You grabbed my parakeet, threw it at my sisters piggy bank and yelled, 'ANGRY BIRDS!!!!!'"
"You told me to give toi a ride accueil and the part was at your house"
"You asked your girlfriend if she was single"
"You gave a midget a champignon and yelled 'GROW MARIO GROW!!!'"
"You were cutting open pineapples and yelling, " SPONGEBOB I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!!!!!'"
"You were screaming into my closet "WHERE IS NARNIA?!?'"
"You walked up to a semi- truck and whispered 'I know your secret..... Optimus Prime'"
"You were splashing around in the sink screaming "Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming'"
"You were in my pool screaming "WHERE IS NEMO?!?!'"
"You saw a midget, and tried to give him a sock. When he ran away toi screamed "DOBBY!! STOP! I AM YOUR SAVIOR!!' and ran after him"
"You picked up my hamster and a dit "I choose you! Go pikachu!'"
"You were trying to swim in mud and a dit 'IM IN WILLY WONKAS chocolat RIVER!!!'"
"You spent 2 hours trying to drown my goldfish"
"You kept shouting 'NEVER!!' at my sisters Justin Beiber posters"
"You asked my mom is she was a virgin"
"You pushed your girlfriend into my pool and shouted "BE FREE ARIEL!!!'"
"You tried to throw a écureuil in my pool and shouted "BIKINI BOTTOM NEEDS toi SANDY!!'"
"You kept asking my cat why he killed Mufasa"
"You ran into a brick mur screaming "HOGWARTS HERE I COME!!'"
"You grabbed a sponge from my cuisine and begged it to tell toi the krabby patty secret formula"
"It was raining and toi fell in a puddle and screamed "HELP IM DROWNING!!'"
"You held my cat in the air saying 'Simba!!'"
"You hugged an old man and a dit "Dumbledore! You're alive!'"
"When I drove toi accueil last night toi were in the back siège pretending to steer with a paper plate"
"At a point I convinced toi to bite your own nose and toi spent an heure rolling around on the floor screaming 'IT'S GETTING AWAY!!!'"
"You ran up to a arbre and a dit "LOOK HOW BIG THIS PIECE OF BROCOLI IS!!!'"
"You took out a cuisine couteau had Kelley throw fruit at toi and yelled 'I AM THE ULTIMATE fruit NINJA!!'"
"You took my cat put it in a oreiller and started chant 'IT'S A oreiller IT'S A PET ITS A oreiller PET!!!'"
"You preached at a Barbie poupées wedding"
"You congratulated a potato for getting a part in Toy Story"
"You were telling yo' mama jokes to orphans"
"You were arguing with yourself over the phone and got upset when toi hung up"
"You got my parents replica of the efile tower stood on haut, retour au début of it and screamed 'I AM KING KONG!!!!'"
toi put your phone on airplane mode and kept throwing it up into the air screaming "WHY WON'T toi FLY?!?!'"
"You put your new pomme IPhone in the blender because toi wanted a smoothie"
"You got in a fist fight with Amy about her being on Team Jacob and then showed us your copies of the twilight books"
"When I drove toi accueil toi yelled 'SWERVE SWERVE!!" when toi saw the arbre air freshner"
"You saw my sisters 1D poster and screamed 'THE BRITISH ARE COMING THE BRITISH ARE COMING!!!!!'"
"You picked up a ginger kid and yelled 'ELMO WHERE IS YOUR GOLDFISH?!?!'"
"Your cell phone vibrated and toi hid under a table, tableau screaming 'EARTHQUAKE!!!!!'"
"You glued a pop tart to my cat and threw it out of a window screaming 'NYAN CAT FLY!!!!'"
"You covered yourself in glitter and screamed 'I AM EDWARD CULLEN'!"
"You took my hat and muttered 'Not Slytherin'"
"You picked up a little Hispanic girl and yelled 'DORA I NEED YOUR MAP TO GET HOME!!' and the party was at your house"
"You jumped off the counter screaming 'I BELIEVE I CAN FLY!'"
"You stood on the edge of a cliff chant 'I'm on the edge of glory'"
"I wasn't that drunk"
"You saw a ginger girl eating blueberries and screamed 'No Foxface! Not the berries!'"
"You ran into Walmart and when toi heard someone talking on the intercom, toi fell to your knees and said, 'God has spoken!'"
"You grabbed my parakeet, threw it at my sisters piggy bank and yelled, 'ANGRY BIRDS!!!!!'"
"You told me to give toi a ride accueil and the part was at your house"
"You asked your girlfriend if she was single"
"You gave a midget a champignon and yelled 'GROW MARIO GROW!!!'"
"You were cutting open pineapples and yelling, " SPONGEBOB I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!!!!!'"
"You were screaming into my closet "WHERE IS NARNIA?!?'"
"You walked up to a semi- truck and whispered 'I know your secret..... Optimus Prime'"
"You were splashing around in the sink screaming "Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming'"
"You were in my pool screaming "WHERE IS NEMO?!?!'"
"You saw a midget, and tried to give him a sock. When he ran away toi screamed "DOBBY!! STOP! I AM YOUR SAVIOR!!' and ran after him"
"You picked up my hamster and a dit "I choose you! Go pikachu!'"
"You were trying to swim in mud and a dit 'IM IN WILLY WONKAS chocolat RIVER!!!'"
"You spent 2 hours trying to drown my goldfish"
"You kept shouting 'NEVER!!' at my sisters Justin Beiber posters"
"You asked my mom is she was a virgin"
"You pushed your girlfriend into my pool and shouted "BE FREE ARIEL!!!'"
"You tried to throw a écureuil in my pool and shouted "BIKINI BOTTOM NEEDS toi SANDY!!'"
"You kept asking my cat why he killed Mufasa"
"You ran into a brick mur screaming "HOGWARTS HERE I COME!!'"
"You grabbed a sponge from my cuisine and begged it to tell toi the krabby patty secret formula"
"It was raining and toi fell in a puddle and screamed "HELP IM DROWNING!!'"
"You held my cat in the air saying 'Simba!!'"
"You hugged an old man and a dit "Dumbledore! You're alive!'"
"When I drove toi accueil last night toi were in the back siège pretending to steer with a paper plate"
"At a point I convinced toi to bite your own nose and toi spent an heure rolling around on the floor screaming 'IT'S GETTING AWAY!!!'"
"You ran up to a arbre and a dit "LOOK HOW BIG THIS PIECE OF BROCOLI IS!!!'"
"You took out a cuisine couteau had Kelley throw fruit at toi and yelled 'I AM THE ULTIMATE fruit NINJA!!'"
"You took my cat put it in a oreiller and started chant 'IT'S A oreiller IT'S A PET ITS A oreiller PET!!!'"
"You preached at a Barbie poupées wedding"
"You congratulated a potato for getting a part in Toy Story"
"You were telling yo' mama jokes to orphans"
"You were arguing with yourself over the phone and got upset when toi hung up"
"You got my parents replica of the efile tower stood on haut, retour au début of it and screamed 'I AM KING KONG!!!!'"
toi put your phone on airplane mode and kept throwing it up into the air screaming "WHY WON'T toi FLY?!?!'"
"You put your new pomme IPhone in the blender because toi wanted a smoothie"
"You got in a fist fight with Amy about her being on Team Jacob and then showed us your copies of the twilight books"
"When I drove toi accueil toi yelled 'SWERVE SWERVE!!" when toi saw the arbre air freshner"
"You saw my sisters 1D poster and screamed 'THE BRITISH ARE COMING THE BRITISH ARE COMING!!!!!'"
"You picked up a ginger kid and yelled 'ELMO WHERE IS YOUR GOLDFISH?!?!'"
"Your cell phone vibrated and toi hid under a table, tableau screaming 'EARTHQUAKE!!!!!'"
"You glued a pop tart to my cat and threw it out of a window screaming 'NYAN CAT FLY!!!!'"
"You covered yourself in glitter and screamed 'I AM EDWARD CULLEN'!"
"You took my hat and muttered 'Not Slytherin'"
"You picked up a little Hispanic girl and yelled 'DORA I NEED YOUR MAP TO GET HOME!!' and the party was at your house"
"You jumped off the counter screaming 'I BELIEVE I CAN FLY!'"
"You stood on the edge of a cliff chant 'I'm on the edge of glory'"