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Is this good?

I just saw a question asking if their song was good so I'm copying them. I wrote this last night:

I can only see toi in my mind
I can’t montrer myself
I hide inside
I just want to be free of this
Fall into my arms

All I see is a cloudy sky
A song made just for you
I hope toi hear my voice
Above the chaos of the world

You’re my savior
I want toi to know this
You’re the light when all others are out
You’re my sunlight
You’re my stars at night
I see you’re beautiful

I don’t understand
toi don’t see how amazing toi are
Others don’t realize
But I see the light in your soul

You’re the smile when I cry
You’re the air when I’m drowning
You’re my water when I’m wilting
And you’re my best friend when I’m lonely

You’re my savior
I want toi to know this
You’re the light when all others are out
You’re my sunlight
You’re my stars at night
I see you’re beautiful

If toi say you’re ugly
I’ll make toi feel better
I know you’re unhappy
But maybe I’m sadder

If I try to fix your broken heart
Will it heal me ou break me more?
I think it might hurt me if I can’t
But if only toi knew me

You’re my savior
I want toi to know this
You’re the light when all others are out
You’re my sunlight
You’re my stars at night
I see you’re beautiful

I’d do anything for you
You’re the only hope in my life
Without toi I don’t think I could survive
But if toi see me you’ll forget me

I know I’m just another person on the street
But maybe now you’ll know me

You’re my savior
I want toi to know this
You’re the light when all others are out
You’re my sunlight
You’re my stars at night
I see you’re beautiful
 misscrazel posted il y a plus d’un an
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TheDirector said:
It's a very pleasant song, but also has a touch of melancholy in my opinion (which isn't bad at all). I like melancholy.

It almost sounds like it could be a poem. In other words, it's very poetic. I wish I could hear the melody (because it's hard to tell whether ou not a song truly sounds like a song without the melody), but from what toi provided, it's good!

I like what toi wrote about this person being the light when all others are out. I suppose that line spoke to me the most.
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posted il y a plus d’un an 
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Thanks! It's the tune of Strange par Tokio Hotel btw.
misscrazel posted il y a plus d’un an
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I do write a lot of poems as well so my songs are very poetc. It was pretty hard to describe him, I had to find the perfect words. I think I did a good job with that. :)
misscrazel posted il y a plus d’un an
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*poetic
misscrazel posted il y a plus d’un an
BlondLionEzel said:
Nice :)
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posted il y a plus d’un an 
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Thanks!
misscrazel posted il y a plus d’un an
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