This is a parody of Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. Well, toi probably already figured that out from the title. *sigh* Anyway, it’s told from Private’s perspective.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own POM ou Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. That was written par Judith Viorst. toi should read it. toi know, if toi like picture livres made for Kindergarteners.


I went to lit with poisson in my mouth, but now there’s poisson in my feathers and when I got out of my bunk, I missed the ladder and fell flat on my face. When I was washing up, my cacahuète, arachide beurre Winkie fell into the sink. And I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

At breakfast, Alice threw Skipper, Kowalski, and Rico trout, but I only got a few sardines. “We’re putting toi on a diet,” she said, “It isn’t healthy to be overweight.”

I think I’ll déplacer to Antarctica.

When we were spying on the zoo staff, Skipper took the haut, retour au début of the totem pole and Kowalski and Rico were right below him. I was on the bottom. I a dit I was being scrunched. I a dit I was being smushed. I a dit that if I didn’t get out from the bottom of the totem pole I was going to be killed. Skipper only told Rico to slap me. I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

During training, Skipper liked Kowalski’s roundhouse better than my silent battle cry. At hi-fiving practice, he a dit I hit too softly. In the obstacle course, he a dit I left out the rope. Who needs the rope?

I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

I could tell because Skipper a dit I wasn’t the best Special Operations expert he ever had. He a dit Manfredi and Johnson had been better, and I was only the third best. I hope toi sit on a tack, I think. I hope the suivant time we go out for snow cones, the ice falls off yours and lands in Antarctica.

I was really looking vers l'avant, vers l’avant to having a Winkie from my stash, but Kowalski confiscated my box. “You heard Alice,” he said, “You’re on a diet.” It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

That’s what it was because after training, Alice sent us to the doctor for a check up and the doctor needed to give only me a shot. “Bring him back suivant week and I can give it to him,” the doctor told Alice. suivant week, I thought, I’m going to Antarctica.

On the way back to our habitat, I tripped over a loose stone and hurt my foot and when Skipper wasn’t looking, Rico pushed me into a mud puddle. When I started to cry, he called me a crybaby. Then Skipper turned around and slapped me for being muddy and crying.

“I am having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day,” I said. No one even answered.

Then we went out for snow cones. Skipper chose cherry, Kowalski chose lemon, and Rico chose blueberry. I wanted the multi-flavor but the snow cone vendor ran out of flavors. They made me steal plain ice, but they can’t make me eat it.

When we went to go play with Alice’s computer, Skipper told me not to play with the copying machine, but I forgot. He also a dit to watch out for the livres on the table, tableau and I was careful except for my left flipper. He also a dit not to fool around with the phone, but I think I called Antarctica. Skipper a dit I wasn’t allowed to come to Alice’s office with the rest of the team anymore.

It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

There was tuna for dîner and I hate tuna.

There was wrestling on the telly and I hate wrestling.

The pool water was too hot, I smashed into the platform, my Lunacorn doll’s head fell off, and I had to sleep on the haut, retour au début bunk. I hate the haut, retour au début bunk.

When I went to bed, Rico took back the softest oreiller which he a dit I could keep. The zoo lamp par our habitat burnt out and I bit my tongue.

Kowalski wants to montrer Rico a new invention tomorrow, not me.

It has been a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

Skipper says some days are like that.



Even in Antarctica.