In the cœur, coeur of Manhattan, near Central Park, is a strange apartment complex. It is made of brick, a century old, and placed between two shiny skyscrapers. The windows all have black bars, the twenty-three stories are all crooked and there is the newest addition of a Madagascar Baobab arbre on the roof. The entrance was an arched brick gate way, atop which was an iron sign.
“ Apartments Menagerie. Weird name, but I do like the aléatoire old clock. It’s a nice touch. ” The young woman a dit to herself. She waited several moments before entering, before taking a deep breath
“ Confidence, Marlene. It’s not like your life depends on this…much.”
The young woman adjusted the five suitcases in her hands, arms, and shoulders and entered.
She walked up to the help-desk and hesitated before ringing the bell. It was several minutes before anyone came.
A middle-aged woman a wrinkled uniform chemise shuffled in and slumped into the office chair, then briefly looked Marlene over. The girl was young, cute, and had a very welcoming smile. Alice didn’t like her already.
And what is with the blonde highlights? I guess I’d better play nice, she’s seems plus normal than others.
" Hello. I'm Alice. I'm the secretary. And head Janitor. And co-landlady. Can I help you?" She asked as she began typing on the old model computer, eyes fixed to the screen.
Marlene smiled widely and extended one gloved hand, releasing a suitcase with a thud.
" Hi, I'm Marlene DeOddeir and...well…" She said. She put her hand down in the awkward pause.
" I, um, saw the want ad for a life-guard online, and I happen to be certified! I'm also here for room and board...all of my info is here. " She pulled several crinkled papers out of her fabric bourse, sac à main and handed them to Alice.
Alice slowly took them with a sigh and thumbed through them. Marlene put her hands in her hoodie's pockets and waited.
" Seems legit. toi got the job. First come first served. You’ll get a discount on your rent from the pay." She said. " Glad toi came too. I’ve been getting complaints from some...other tenants."
Alice's tone concerned Marlene. " O-other tenants?"
Alice shrugged and continued typing. " Weird bunch. Dress in uniform, brothers ou something. Ex-FBI I think. There, you're all set up. Here's your key. Your room is O1-3 on level 23, haut, retour au début floor. Oh, and for pity’s sake, pay your rent on time, I get enough slacking off of my regular tenants. .”
Marlene took the key and thanked Alice, who responded with a grunt and continued typing.
She grabbed her suitcases and went towards the elevator...which was marked out of order.
" Well...nothing like some exercise then..." she murmured with a forced smile as she began the long trek up the stairs with her burdens.
...
" I hate stairs! " She a dit once she reached level 17. She dropped her suitcases and sat against the wall, breathing heavily. Suddenly she heard a fast thumping that wasn't her heart.
" Come on toi sissies, it's only our fifteenth time up and down this sucker!" A loud voice echoed up the stairs.
" Aye-Aye Skipper!" Three voices sounded off in unison.
The Thumping grew louder, until she saw a very well built man in a tank, camouflage pants, run up the haut, retour au début of the stairs, his dog tags jangling as he ran. He stopped as soon as he saw Marlene. He stared at her for a moment, and then at her suitcases, then backs at her.
Before she had a chance to speak, he called loudly down the stairs.
" Men, we have a Code 75 on Level 17. Commence Operation D.I.D!"
Immediately three similarly dressed men jumped the railway, snatched up the suitcases, and stood at attention.
" Burdens secured Skipper!" The smallest one a dit as he adjusted his load.
" Excellent. Kowalski, check the physical condition of the civilian D.I.D....and run a background check while toi are at it. Tell me who this damsel is. "
Marlene was already standing. " Um, Thanks but I don't think that..."
" Stand still, please, Madam." The tallest man a dit as he pulled out a smart-phone, which emitted a scan-light.
" Processing" He said. " Processing... still Processing. Gah, curse this wi-fi connection!"
He placed a hand on his hip and tapped his foot impatiently. Marlene noticed that despite that having run extensively he was hardly out of breath, his hair was nearly perfect and he hardly looked sweaty. The only one who looked as if he had really been exercising was Private, who was panting quietly and sweating bullets.
After a few moments she cleared her throat.
" Um...You know I really appreciate the help but the background check isn't necessary, I'm Mar-..."
Skipper whipped around and came to eye-level with her, and uncomfortably close.
" Oh really? Just ask Mannfredi and Johnson. Oh, toi can't. They didn't run the background check on their D.I.D's. Rico tell the lady what happened."
The huge, leering figure grinned grimly and began to wildly jump around the floor and give out unholy screams and terrible noises from his mouth, ending with a disturbingly realistic death-rattle.
" Oh. Um. Okay. I wasn't planning on sleeping tonight anyway." Marlene managed to say in her shock.
Rico shrugged and muttered something that sounded like "tough crowd". Then he merely stared off into the distance, stroking the long scar on the right side of his face.
" A-hah! Skipper this is Marlene DeOdder. She hails originally from California, moved here after she was unfairly cut from her last line of work and offered clientele for her design work here. No dangerous affiliations for any major enemies of the state of Protectorate, and she has a perfect dental record.”
" Well, in that case, welcome to the Menagerie Apartments! Private, Kowalski, Rico, escort the D.I.D's baggage up to her room, I'll escort the D. I. D."
Private, Kowalski, and Rico saluted, grabbed the luggage and raced up the stairs.
" Last one up is a silly-billy ding-dong!" Private a dit as he began trotting up the stairs.
Rico gracefully tripped Private up a step and then blew a terrific framboise at him.
" Hey, w-wait up!" He a dit as he bounded up and ran after them.
" Those knuckleheads." Skipper a dit with a chuckle. Marlene gave a little laugh. Sure, they seemed eccentric but she could see herself being Friends with these guys.
" All right, time to escort you, Damsel in Distress." He a dit as he easily picked her up and slung her across his shoulder. " Just stay calm and I'll have toi accueil in no time with a low risk of injury!"
" Whoa, wait. what?" She protested. " Put me down...wait a minute...I'm the Damsel in Distress!? ARE toi EVEN LISTENING?"
He paid her no attention as he bounded up the stairs. She sighed and shook her head.
" I wonder if it was ever a good idea to leave California at all. "
______________________
Marlene had admit that Skipper was quite focused. Completely insane, but focused. No matter what she a dit he insisted he would carry her to the haut, retour au début floor himself, citing it was standard Damsel In Distress procedure. Once they reached the hallway of Level 23, he finally let her down.
" No need to thank us, ma’am, it's our job " He said, leading her par the arm to her room. " I have some operations to attend to, I'm sure the team will take care of you."
Marlene looked down the hallway and saw the shortest Member, Private, waving to her.
" Well, I guess thanks any-" She started to say, but Skipper had already left without a trace.
She stood perplexed a moment and slowly walked to her room to meet the “team”.
Kowalski was holding a small, strangely bulbous machine that reminded her of a water gun.
" With my new, experimental and highly combustible Anti-Lock lazer, I'll be able to easily hack into any traditional ou technologically enhanc—“
Marlene pulled the key from her pocket and opened the door. She smiled and shrugged apologetically, but she was sure that she wasn’t going to let anything highly combustible near her new Apartment before even get her suitcases in.
" Well, SURE do it the obvious way...no one appreciates the science..."said Kowalski.
He clutched his Anti-Lock-Lazer to his chest and walked away with a pout, throwing on Rico the luggage he was carrying.
Rico struggled under the weight of the luggage for a moment, then promptly dumped it on Private with a snicker and left with Kowalski.
" H-hey, Rico!" Private called out. " Why do I have to carry it?”
" Cuz Uar da noob guy!" Rico grunted back, along with a cackle.
Marlene rolled her eyes. " Here, let me take some of it..."
Private stiffened " Oh no, I've g-got it, really. " He said. His knees buckled as he walked in the door, and sweat began to dot his forehead.
" Oh dear!" He said. A suitcase fell straight on to his foot. Before he completely Lost all control, Marlene ran in and stabilized him.
" Just put them suivant to the canapé ” She a dit and took the larger suitcases from him.
" Thanks Marlene." He a dit with a sigh, keeping weight off his injured foot.
" That foot all right? I think I keep my easel in that case, and it's pretty heavy." She said. She picked up the fallen suitcase and propped it suivant to the canapé “ Had to get it metal fortified, I’ve dropped it a lot… Are toi sure toi are all right?”
She sat down on the canapé and patted the siège suivant to her.
Private smiled nervously and hobbled over to sit. " Well, it does sting a bit. Mind toi I've had much worse... YEOWCH! " His toe had hit the coffee table. He fell on to the canapé whimpering quietly.
" I guess it might hurt a little bit, then... oh dear." He a dit as he pulled off his combat boot to reveal a very red and swollen foot.
Marlene got out the first aid from one of her suitcases and began treating the injured foot.
" Thanks Marlene. It really is great to meet a new friend. Didn’t Kowalski’s scanner ...thing say toi were an artist?” Private said.
She smiled as she bandaged him. “ Well, yes, I guess I am. I just got my bachelors degree in it so I would hope so. I’m gong to be working at the Apartments here as a life-guard as well, until I get plus clientele, anyway…so what is it that toi do?”
Private began fidgeting his hands. “ We don’t do anything. Oh, and me, I don’t either. Well, Skipper told me not to tell ou I’ll be court-martialed.”
“ OH, I see, some of this hush-hush stuff.” She giggled at it’s absurdity. “ I understand, your “confidential” secrets are none of my business.”
“ toi bet they aren’t!” Skipper’s commanding voice resounded through the room. “ And toi left the door open, bad move. Private fall in. “
Private leaped to attention, right on to his foot. “ YEOWCH!” He hopped around and out of the apartment “ See toi late Marlene!” He stopped at the door
“ Hush and get going, you’re already late enough for –“ Skipper began to shout until Marlene interrupted.
“ Well, toi don’t toi think toi are being kind of hard on him, I mean, he is hurt. Maybe we should talk it out, I've got some coffee in one of these bags...”
Skipper turned a deep shade of red and the veins on the sides of his head throbbed. “ toi telling ME how to treat my own men, after I saw toi trying to coddle up to him and get out some secrets, ou maybe just undermine my entire operation? Me take orders from some Californian hippie—“
“ Get out!” Marlene snapped, “ Out! Right now! Out!”
She grabbed him par the shoulders and halfway pushed him out the door.Skipper was too amazed at her sudden change to resist. Her face was scarlet red and her knuckles white from intensity of the fists she was making.
“ NO ONE CALLS ME A HIPPIE! I’ve had enough of your insanity already! And no one calls me a hippie!” She then promptly slammed the door inches from Skipper’s nose.
Private stared at the scene in shock and dismay. Surely Skipper would be furious!
Skipper stared at the door, jaw half agape, before laughing.
“ Skipper? Y-you okay?” Private a dit and hobbled over to him.
Skipper smacked private on the back and laughed again. “ Ha-ha, finally, some decent neighbors in this madhouse! “
“ Y-you like her?” Private replied with a smile.
“ Sure! Anyone that hates being called a hippie that much, and can kick ME out of a room, has got some guts and sense. All aces in my book.” He nodded at Marlene’s door as if blessing its presence. He put his arm around Private’s shoulder. “ Plus, she bandaged up your foot for ya, so she’s a useful girl to!”
He helped Private hobble down the hallway to the stairs again, smiling and mumbling " What a woman" often as they went...
“ Apartments Menagerie. Weird name, but I do like the aléatoire old clock. It’s a nice touch. ” The young woman a dit to herself. She waited several moments before entering, before taking a deep breath
“ Confidence, Marlene. It’s not like your life depends on this…much.”
The young woman adjusted the five suitcases in her hands, arms, and shoulders and entered.
She walked up to the help-desk and hesitated before ringing the bell. It was several minutes before anyone came.
A middle-aged woman a wrinkled uniform chemise shuffled in and slumped into the office chair, then briefly looked Marlene over. The girl was young, cute, and had a very welcoming smile. Alice didn’t like her already.
And what is with the blonde highlights? I guess I’d better play nice, she’s seems plus normal than others.
" Hello. I'm Alice. I'm the secretary. And head Janitor. And co-landlady. Can I help you?" She asked as she began typing on the old model computer, eyes fixed to the screen.
Marlene smiled widely and extended one gloved hand, releasing a suitcase with a thud.
" Hi, I'm Marlene DeOddeir and...well…" She said. She put her hand down in the awkward pause.
" I, um, saw the want ad for a life-guard online, and I happen to be certified! I'm also here for room and board...all of my info is here. " She pulled several crinkled papers out of her fabric bourse, sac à main and handed them to Alice.
Alice slowly took them with a sigh and thumbed through them. Marlene put her hands in her hoodie's pockets and waited.
" Seems legit. toi got the job. First come first served. You’ll get a discount on your rent from the pay." She said. " Glad toi came too. I’ve been getting complaints from some...other tenants."
Alice's tone concerned Marlene. " O-other tenants?"
Alice shrugged and continued typing. " Weird bunch. Dress in uniform, brothers ou something. Ex-FBI I think. There, you're all set up. Here's your key. Your room is O1-3 on level 23, haut, retour au début floor. Oh, and for pity’s sake, pay your rent on time, I get enough slacking off of my regular tenants. .”
Marlene took the key and thanked Alice, who responded with a grunt and continued typing.
She grabbed her suitcases and went towards the elevator...which was marked out of order.
" Well...nothing like some exercise then..." she murmured with a forced smile as she began the long trek up the stairs with her burdens.
...
" I hate stairs! " She a dit once she reached level 17. She dropped her suitcases and sat against the wall, breathing heavily. Suddenly she heard a fast thumping that wasn't her heart.
" Come on toi sissies, it's only our fifteenth time up and down this sucker!" A loud voice echoed up the stairs.
" Aye-Aye Skipper!" Three voices sounded off in unison.
The Thumping grew louder, until she saw a very well built man in a tank, camouflage pants, run up the haut, retour au début of the stairs, his dog tags jangling as he ran. He stopped as soon as he saw Marlene. He stared at her for a moment, and then at her suitcases, then backs at her.
Before she had a chance to speak, he called loudly down the stairs.
" Men, we have a Code 75 on Level 17. Commence Operation D.I.D!"
Immediately three similarly dressed men jumped the railway, snatched up the suitcases, and stood at attention.
" Burdens secured Skipper!" The smallest one a dit as he adjusted his load.
" Excellent. Kowalski, check the physical condition of the civilian D.I.D....and run a background check while toi are at it. Tell me who this damsel is. "
Marlene was already standing. " Um, Thanks but I don't think that..."
" Stand still, please, Madam." The tallest man a dit as he pulled out a smart-phone, which emitted a scan-light.
" Processing" He said. " Processing... still Processing. Gah, curse this wi-fi connection!"
He placed a hand on his hip and tapped his foot impatiently. Marlene noticed that despite that having run extensively he was hardly out of breath, his hair was nearly perfect and he hardly looked sweaty. The only one who looked as if he had really been exercising was Private, who was panting quietly and sweating bullets.
After a few moments she cleared her throat.
" Um...You know I really appreciate the help but the background check isn't necessary, I'm Mar-..."
Skipper whipped around and came to eye-level with her, and uncomfortably close.
" Oh really? Just ask Mannfredi and Johnson. Oh, toi can't. They didn't run the background check on their D.I.D's. Rico tell the lady what happened."
The huge, leering figure grinned grimly and began to wildly jump around the floor and give out unholy screams and terrible noises from his mouth, ending with a disturbingly realistic death-rattle.
" Oh. Um. Okay. I wasn't planning on sleeping tonight anyway." Marlene managed to say in her shock.
Rico shrugged and muttered something that sounded like "tough crowd". Then he merely stared off into the distance, stroking the long scar on the right side of his face.
" A-hah! Skipper this is Marlene DeOdder. She hails originally from California, moved here after she was unfairly cut from her last line of work and offered clientele for her design work here. No dangerous affiliations for any major enemies of the state of Protectorate, and she has a perfect dental record.”
" Well, in that case, welcome to the Menagerie Apartments! Private, Kowalski, Rico, escort the D.I.D's baggage up to her room, I'll escort the D. I. D."
Private, Kowalski, and Rico saluted, grabbed the luggage and raced up the stairs.
" Last one up is a silly-billy ding-dong!" Private a dit as he began trotting up the stairs.
Rico gracefully tripped Private up a step and then blew a terrific framboise at him.
" Hey, w-wait up!" He a dit as he bounded up and ran after them.
" Those knuckleheads." Skipper a dit with a chuckle. Marlene gave a little laugh. Sure, they seemed eccentric but she could see herself being Friends with these guys.
" All right, time to escort you, Damsel in Distress." He a dit as he easily picked her up and slung her across his shoulder. " Just stay calm and I'll have toi accueil in no time with a low risk of injury!"
" Whoa, wait. what?" She protested. " Put me down...wait a minute...I'm the Damsel in Distress!? ARE toi EVEN LISTENING?"
He paid her no attention as he bounded up the stairs. She sighed and shook her head.
" I wonder if it was ever a good idea to leave California at all. "
______________________
Marlene had admit that Skipper was quite focused. Completely insane, but focused. No matter what she a dit he insisted he would carry her to the haut, retour au début floor himself, citing it was standard Damsel In Distress procedure. Once they reached the hallway of Level 23, he finally let her down.
" No need to thank us, ma’am, it's our job " He said, leading her par the arm to her room. " I have some operations to attend to, I'm sure the team will take care of you."
Marlene looked down the hallway and saw the shortest Member, Private, waving to her.
" Well, I guess thanks any-" She started to say, but Skipper had already left without a trace.
She stood perplexed a moment and slowly walked to her room to meet the “team”.
Kowalski was holding a small, strangely bulbous machine that reminded her of a water gun.
" With my new, experimental and highly combustible Anti-Lock lazer, I'll be able to easily hack into any traditional ou technologically enhanc—“
Marlene pulled the key from her pocket and opened the door. She smiled and shrugged apologetically, but she was sure that she wasn’t going to let anything highly combustible near her new Apartment before even get her suitcases in.
" Well, SURE do it the obvious way...no one appreciates the science..."said Kowalski.
He clutched his Anti-Lock-Lazer to his chest and walked away with a pout, throwing on Rico the luggage he was carrying.
Rico struggled under the weight of the luggage for a moment, then promptly dumped it on Private with a snicker and left with Kowalski.
" H-hey, Rico!" Private called out. " Why do I have to carry it?”
" Cuz Uar da noob guy!" Rico grunted back, along with a cackle.
Marlene rolled her eyes. " Here, let me take some of it..."
Private stiffened " Oh no, I've g-got it, really. " He said. His knees buckled as he walked in the door, and sweat began to dot his forehead.
" Oh dear!" He said. A suitcase fell straight on to his foot. Before he completely Lost all control, Marlene ran in and stabilized him.
" Just put them suivant to the canapé ” She a dit and took the larger suitcases from him.
" Thanks Marlene." He a dit with a sigh, keeping weight off his injured foot.
" That foot all right? I think I keep my easel in that case, and it's pretty heavy." She said. She picked up the fallen suitcase and propped it suivant to the canapé “ Had to get it metal fortified, I’ve dropped it a lot… Are toi sure toi are all right?”
She sat down on the canapé and patted the siège suivant to her.
Private smiled nervously and hobbled over to sit. " Well, it does sting a bit. Mind toi I've had much worse... YEOWCH! " His toe had hit the coffee table. He fell on to the canapé whimpering quietly.
" I guess it might hurt a little bit, then... oh dear." He a dit as he pulled off his combat boot to reveal a very red and swollen foot.
Marlene got out the first aid from one of her suitcases and began treating the injured foot.
" Thanks Marlene. It really is great to meet a new friend. Didn’t Kowalski’s scanner ...thing say toi were an artist?” Private said.
She smiled as she bandaged him. “ Well, yes, I guess I am. I just got my bachelors degree in it so I would hope so. I’m gong to be working at the Apartments here as a life-guard as well, until I get plus clientele, anyway…so what is it that toi do?”
Private began fidgeting his hands. “ We don’t do anything. Oh, and me, I don’t either. Well, Skipper told me not to tell ou I’ll be court-martialed.”
“ OH, I see, some of this hush-hush stuff.” She giggled at it’s absurdity. “ I understand, your “confidential” secrets are none of my business.”
“ toi bet they aren’t!” Skipper’s commanding voice resounded through the room. “ And toi left the door open, bad move. Private fall in. “
Private leaped to attention, right on to his foot. “ YEOWCH!” He hopped around and out of the apartment “ See toi late Marlene!” He stopped at the door
“ Hush and get going, you’re already late enough for –“ Skipper began to shout until Marlene interrupted.
“ Well, toi don’t toi think toi are being kind of hard on him, I mean, he is hurt. Maybe we should talk it out, I've got some coffee in one of these bags...”
Skipper turned a deep shade of red and the veins on the sides of his head throbbed. “ toi telling ME how to treat my own men, after I saw toi trying to coddle up to him and get out some secrets, ou maybe just undermine my entire operation? Me take orders from some Californian hippie—“
“ Get out!” Marlene snapped, “ Out! Right now! Out!”
She grabbed him par the shoulders and halfway pushed him out the door.Skipper was too amazed at her sudden change to resist. Her face was scarlet red and her knuckles white from intensity of the fists she was making.
“ NO ONE CALLS ME A HIPPIE! I’ve had enough of your insanity already! And no one calls me a hippie!” She then promptly slammed the door inches from Skipper’s nose.
Private stared at the scene in shock and dismay. Surely Skipper would be furious!
Skipper stared at the door, jaw half agape, before laughing.
“ Skipper? Y-you okay?” Private a dit and hobbled over to him.
Skipper smacked private on the back and laughed again. “ Ha-ha, finally, some decent neighbors in this madhouse! “
“ Y-you like her?” Private replied with a smile.
“ Sure! Anyone that hates being called a hippie that much, and can kick ME out of a room, has got some guts and sense. All aces in my book.” He nodded at Marlene’s door as if blessing its presence. He put his arm around Private’s shoulder. “ Plus, she bandaged up your foot for ya, so she’s a useful girl to!”
He helped Private hobble down the hallway to the stairs again, smiling and mumbling " What a woman" often as they went...
Spying is rude:
There was a Zookeeper named Alice,
Who came out of the bath quite towel-less.
The penguins did learn,
As their stomachs churned,
To Avoid the Alice when Towel-less!
Ticking off the Pen-goo-ins*:
Bowhole says "penguins" quite strange
But not becasue he's dearnged
This word he won't doff
Just to tick his foes off
But we all know that villian won't change
Man on the other side of the Radio:
The Zookeeper man number two,
Did not know what to do!
The man was quite sad,
For his screentime was bad,
His face was not there-Boohoo!
*Kowalksi informs us that Blowhole missprounounces the word just to tick them off in one of the promos to Operation:Blowhole
There was a Zookeeper named Alice,
Who came out of the bath quite towel-less.
The penguins did learn,
As their stomachs churned,
To Avoid the Alice when Towel-less!
Ticking off the Pen-goo-ins*:
Bowhole says "penguins" quite strange
But not becasue he's dearnged
This word he won't doff
Just to tick his foes off
But we all know that villian won't change
Man on the other side of the Radio:
The Zookeeper man number two,
Did not know what to do!
The man was quite sad,
For his screentime was bad,
His face was not there-Boohoo!
*Kowalksi informs us that Blowhole missprounounces the word just to tick them off in one of the promos to Operation:Blowhole
