___________________________________________
Cadet sat in the shade of the arbre that was planted in the courtyard. She watched the other animals. She watched as some hugged and stayed in groups. As she looked around, no one was alone, no one but her. Each jour she did this, looking out as all the kids laughed and played.
The guys playing around with the girls and the girls getting revenge on the guys.
Each jour she wished that someone would at least come up and talk to her. Make small talk, something that at least lets her know that she was not forgotten.
Each jour she she became less social. Ever since that day, that night that her brother came accueil and the suivant jour he was gone. Her brother that always made her come out of her shell, and made her talk to people. She stared up at the sky.
The pain that she felt from her parents, the pain of her brother not here, and also the pain of not having any friends. A tear drop escaped her eyes. Why couldn't she be like the other kids and make Friends like that.
The cloche, bell rung. All the kids were saying bye to each other saying that they will see each other later. Cadet waited until they all walked past her. Some casting glancing at her and whispering to who ever walked with them.
Cadet looked down at her paws and got up and walked to her suivant class...
"Alone...."she thought to herself.
______________
Cadet stayed in her room with the lights off. She heard her parents fighting. Fighting was always going on it the den. It was either about money, ou late night outings. She thought that if she stayed in her room she wouldn't get caught up in the fight, and with the lights out they would think that she was asleep. She needed some one to confort her. Someone like her brother, but now he was gone and he left her to face this one her own.
"I promise, Cadet," He would say on a night like this. "I promise that when I déplacer out of this tanière, den I'll take toi with me..."
That made Cadet cry. The memory of that moment..."You promised." Cadet turned on a small lamp that showed light in the corner she was in. Looking at her paws she saw that the blood had stopped bleeding.
She was lucky that her dark grey fourrure hid the cuts she made on her wrist. Though the new fourrure that grew there was lighter.
"One jour toi can come and get me." She whispered. "But not this early..." Cadet picked up her couteau and placed it in a box.
This was her rutine. Listen to her parents yell at each other, bring out the couteau thinking to herself that today would be the jour that she wouldn't hear her parents anymore and go and be with her brother. But each jour came and went and she never got the courage to put the couteau to her throat and stay silent.
Her thoughts would always save her. "Tomorrow will be a better day," ou "You can make it" even an ocassional, "So what are toi such a coward that toi don't want to live anymore?!" Though that thought didn't come from her voice but her brother's. Like he was telling her that what he did was wrong, and giving her the strength to take that as a challenge.
Cadet closed her eyes. Thinking of that challenge. She will make her brother proud to not give up, to live and be great. She opened her eyes this time determined shown in them. She quickly picked up the box and climbed out of her window. The moon shown bright, with not a nuage in the sky. She went to the far end of the corner in the backyard, and placed the box down and opened the lid. Inside was the couteau and a container full of pills. The she started to dig. Tonight is the last night loosing blood, and feeling sorry for herself.
People had bigger problems then her. People that have no one to talk to. All over the world there was at least some one who takes their own life.
When the whole was big enough she placed the couteau in there then stopped as she reached for the pills. The image of her taking a paw full before she went to sleep one night. That night nothing happened and she didn't want to come back and dig them up just to see that they where sûr, sans danger and sound for another rough night. Cadet grabbed the container and opened it with her mouth and dumped the pills in the dirt. "the water that soaks into the ground will dissolve them, and they will be gone forever." She thought.
Turning around she kicked dirt over the things she now discusted. She looked up at the night sky, the stars twinkleing. "The challenge is now accepted."
She then made her way to the den, back to the window. "Today I made myself my own hero. Maybe one jour I can be someone elses.." Before she went in she looked at the moon. "Thank you, Mikey D. for the challenge"....
_________________________________________________
So this one has a bit of me in it. Though I never cut my wrist ou took pills, ou had a brother that took his life. But I did have parents that fought at night when I was little. So I know what it's like to hear all the yelling and being scared of all the glass crashing. Plus the part of Cadet felling that she was alone in the courtyard. I have actually experienced the feeling of lonelyness at the start of my 7th grade year. Though eventually I made friends. :)
Hope this one was ok. :P
