After mentioning things toi should only do alone, Tom had another segment for his audience to enjoy.

Tom: toi know one thing I like to do when I'm alone? Rewatch some episodes of On The Block.
Crowd: *Cheering*
Tom: Not only do I enjoy comedy, but I also enjoy being an actor. It's the only job where toi can get away with murder.
Crowd: *Quietly laughing*
Tom: Unless you're Robert Deniro, and the main protagonist is Al Pacino.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Seeing those two together was a lot of fun, but what really surprised me was seeing Pacino as a cop. He's normally the criminal, but I still got a kick out of hearing him talk. There's a reason Bill Hader loves impersonating him.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: *Impersonating Al* Whaddaya shay I buy toi a cup of coffee?
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: I wish Al pulled me over, but toi don't wanna drink too much coffee. Otherwise you'll have enough energy to bounce up to the moon!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: And I don't understand what the fascination is with coffee. Equestrians are hooked on this stuff like the British are with tea.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Half of my Friends literally need this shit to survive! Do toi ever feel that way?
Crowd: Yeah!
Tom: And supposedly toi can't stay awake without it. Ever heard of an alarm clock?
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: It's a really fascinating device, set it up at the time toi want to wake up, and you're awake. No need to drink anything!
Crowd: *Laughing, and clapping*
Tom: Well. *Scratches the back of his head* I could be wrong there. Your mouth might feel dry, so it does help to drink water.
Crowd: Yeah.
Tom: In fact I'm gonna do that now. *Heads for a water bottle to his left, and takes a sip* If we had this in the cup, a fly would likely be bathing inside.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: That's another thing I don't like about this so called pandemic, outside dining. When it's warm, toi either have to deal with flies, ou too much wind blowing things off your table!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: I remember one time I was at Chimney Rock Inn in Ponyville, and the menu kept getting blown off my table. That's when they offer, the digital menu!
Crowd: *Cheering*
Tom: toi have to use the camera on your cell phone to scan a code, and download the menu. Unless you're out of memory. What do toi do then?
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: toi have a lot of things on your phone for a reason, toi can't supprimer any of them! *Looks down at his left hoof* Hmm, I can't supprimer this video, since I need to put it on facebook. I can't supprimer Facebook since I have to mettre en ligne some things on there.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Angry Birds is totally out of the question.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: toi need that to keep yourself from getting depressed, and killing everypony that lectures toi for not wearing a mask.
Crowd: Yeah!! *Clapping*
Tom: The only mask I like is the movie with Jim Carrey!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: I made an exception when I was visiting a Wal-Mart. I found a mask with the state of Neigh Jersey on it, which also features straps toi can control. Yet everyone I encounter wants to wear those crappy blue surgical masks.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: There's literally no end to seeing these ugly things! Can't we have some variety, and find somepony wearing a different type of mask?!
Crowd: *Cheering*
Tom: Anyway, I bought the mask because it a dit Neigh Jersey on it, since that's the state I live in, but I've always wanted to come to St. Foalis, so just before the montrer started, I bought another mask from another Wal-Mart.
Crowd: *Quietly laughing*
Tom: And this one has the gateway arch on it. It seemed appropriate since I'm currently performing for toi under the arch.
Crowd: *Clapping*

2 B Continued