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posted by Seanthehedgehog
The Classroom

Starring Snow Wonder as Ms. Schultz
Tom as Gary
Astrel Sky as Maria
Sunny as herself
Pleiades as Brianna
Double Scoop as James
Aina as Lauren

Canterlot High School, in the poney world, not that Equestria Girls crap.

Audience: *Laughing*
Ms. Schultz: Okay anypony, today we will be learning about-
James: How our school is going down the drain.
Audience: *Laughing*
Ms. Schultz: Why do toi think it's going down the drain?
James: I'm not sure if toi noticed, but this is a high school. I've seen students that are under the age of ten. Who the hell would run a school like that?!
Audience: *Laughing*
Ms. Schultz: I'll be doing the teaching, thank you.
James: I wish I could say I was welcome, but I'm not.
Gary: Ms. Schultz, toi look like somepony that works at a bodyshop with me.
Audience: *Laughing*
Ms. Schultz: Gary, for the last time, toi don't work at a bodyshop.
Gary: Yeah I do. toi were there with me, and so was this other poney that looked like Brianna.
Audience: *Laughing*
Brianna: I don't know anything about cars.
Ms. Schultz: Well we won't be learning about cars in this class, because this is everypony's favori subject, math.
Audience: *Laughing*
Gary: I hate math.
Ms. Schultz: Well, toi can calm down-
Gary: *Angry* DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN!
Audience: *Laughing*
Ms. Schultz: If toi shout like that again, toi will go to the principal's office.
Maria: What's that like?
Ms. Schultz: Try, and imagine hell, but the flames, and hot temperature is replaced with boring phone calls, and fond d’écran that's out of rendez-vous amoureux, date par forty years.
Audience: *Laughing*
Ms. Schultz: Now, grab your books, and do all the problems on page 91.
Gary: salut Ms. Schultz?
Ms. Schultz: You're not gonna shout again, are you?
Gary: No, but not only do toi look like a poney that I work with at a bodyshop, but toi also look like this poney that I was with in a dream.
Ms. Schultz: Tell me about it.
Gary: I was imagining myself as Harry Potter in his early 30's, and your replica was the wife.
Audience: *Laughing*
Ms. Schultz: Interesting. Now, please do the math problems.
Lauren: Ms. Schultz, I have a question.
Ms. Schultz: What is it?
Lauren: This math problem is really difficult, and I can't figure out the answer.
Ms. Schultz: What is it?
Lauren: 2 plus 2.
Audience: *Laughing, and cheering*
Ms. Schultz: The answer is 4.
Lauren: Thank you.

James, and Gary were exchanging looks at each other while doing their work. They had something planned to disrupt the class.

Gary: *Looking at Lauren* toi smell like shit.
Audience: *Clapping*
Lauren: *Surprised* I'm offended!
Gary: Please, be offended.
Audience: *Laughing*
Ms. Schultz: Gary, go to hell, I mean the principal's office.
Gary: What's the difference?
Audience: *Laughing*
Gary: Farewell everypony. It was an honor being with you. *Leaves classroom*
Audience: *Clapping*
Maria: *Impersonating the announcer* On the suivant part of this episode, we notice that Princess Celestia's life starts going downhill.
Ms. Schultz: Shut up Maria, and get back to work.
Audience: *Laughing*

2 B continued
added by TimberHumphrey
added by TimberHumphrey
video
my
magic
friendship
my little poney
My Little Poney
video
my
magic
friendship
my little poney
My Little Poney
posted by Seanthehedgehog


Song: link
 Blue lines fly along the screen, then the words appear
Blue lines fly along the screen, then the words appear

 Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!


St. Foalis Maressouri, 6 PM.

A crowd of thousands of ponies gathered at the Gateway Arch to experience a comedy montrer that was being filmed live in 4k. The comedian? Tom Foolery.

Crowd: *Clapping, and chanting* Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom!
Tom: *Arrives at a temporary stage under the Gateway Arch*
Crowd: *Cheering, as they continue to clap*
Tom: Thank toi everypony.
Crowd: *Continuing to cheer and clap*
Tom: Thank toi very much....
continue reading...
toi see that weight on your wings?
So i know what you're feeling
Yeah, toi got bigger dreams
So keep on believing

Don't let your colors
bleed into grey
We got each other
and chances to take
Yeah, toi got bigger dreams
So keep on believing

I'll chase the sky with you
I'll chase the night with you
I'll chase the light with you
If toi wanna fly
I'll chase the sky

Whoa oh oh oh
Whoa oh oh oh
Whoa oh oh oh
If toi wanna fly
I'll chase the sky

Anything in your heart
Is plus than worth keeping (Mmm)
I'll shoot for the stars
If that's what toi needed

Just say the word
and baby, i'll run
I'll find a way
to go beyond the sun
I'll...
continue reading...
posted by TimberHumphrey
so here are a few theories i got for this show:

Theory #1: since Hasbro and DHX never even bothered to give Cozy Glow any semblance of a backstory, my theory is that she's actually a fully-grown adult poney stuck inside a filly's body. she was born with a condition that never let her physically age after filly-hood.

Theory #2: while we do know Sunset used to be Celestia's haut, retour au début student, i always thought there was something plus to it than just a teacher-student relationship. and since we never get to see if Sunset had parents at some point in time, my theory is that she's Celestia's adopted daughter. remember how worried Celestia was about Sunset at the end of the first EqG movie? yeah, something tells me they're plus than just teacher and ex-student.

Theory #3: at one point in time, King Sombra used to be a great and loved king, before he became corrupted par his desire for power that forced Celestia and Luna to banish him into the abyss.
posted by Seanthehedgehog
The final part of Tom Foolery's montrer is here.

Tom: Now, most of toi probably don't know this, but we all have several things in common. I'll give toi an example. We're all here together, in the greatest city in Maressouri.
Crowd: *Clapping*
Tom: I have some even funnier ones. When you're in your car, and toi stop at a red light. Do toi ever try to déplacer an extra inch ou two?
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: But when toi see other cars in front of you, you're in no rush to get as close to the other guy as possible. toi just coast to the red light.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Coast to the red light, then all of a sudden...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Tom was now making fun of the modern movie industry.

Tom: As much as I enjoy being an actor, when I'm not entertaining toi with jokes.
Crowd: *Quietly laughing*
Tom: I always want to make sure the movie I'm in is good. They're not all comedies, my most récent film, Suicide was actually quite dark. Yet for some reason, comedians feel like it's a great way to improve their career. Correct me if I'm wrong, but being in a dramatic R-rated film will not improve your comedy career.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: That's why no one knows who Jim Carrey is anymore.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: His récent role as Dr. Robotnik...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Tom continued insulting politicians, much to the delight of his audience.

Tom: Presidential candidates are always a good target for comedians to make fun of, but toi know what another populaire target is? Black Lives Matter.
Crowd: *Cheering*
Tom: Many black ponies are accusing millions of ponies of the Caucasian race, for something only one police officer did in the Midwest!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Who's the racist now toi assholes?!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: And do toi really think that every single Caucasian hates blacks?! When did we time travel back to the 18th Century?!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Even the...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
What's a comedy montrer without politics? Tom is going to make fun of the presidential election.

Tom: I don't know what's worse, this covid pandemic, ou the presidential election.
Crowd: Yeah!!!
Tom: I don't trust either Trump, ou Biden so I'm not going to vote. *Talks like a filly* But Tom, it's important for the economy!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Losing jobs, and spending money on taxes is not good for the economy!
Crowd: *Cheering*
Tom: I don't give a fuck what ponies tell me. I don't trust the president, I don't trust the princess, I don't trust anyone that works for the Equestrian government! Why?...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
After mentioning things toi should only do alone, Tom had another segment for his audience to enjoy.

Tom: toi know one thing I like to do when I'm alone? Rewatch some episodes of On The Block.
Crowd: *Cheering*
Tom: Not only do I enjoy comedy, but I also enjoy being an actor. It's the only job where toi can get away with murder.
Crowd: *Quietly laughing*
Tom: Unless you're Robert Deniro, and the main protagonist is Al Pacino.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Seeing those two together was a lot of fun, but what really surprised me was seeing Pacino as a cop. He's normally the criminal, but I still got a kick...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
 Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!


St. Foalis Maressouri, 6 PM.

A crowd of thousands of ponies gathered at the Gateway Arch to experience a comedy montrer that was being filmed live in 4k. The comedian? Tom Foolery.

Crowd: *Clapping, and chanting* Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom!
Tom: *Arrives at a temporary stage under the Gateway Arch*
Crowd: *Cheering, as they continue to clap*
Tom: Thank toi everypony.
Crowd: *Continuing to cheer and clap*
Tom: Thank toi very much.
Crowd: *Continuing to cheer and clap*
Tom: And shut up.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom:...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog


Jerry: Sorry, but I got nothing.
Vito: I don't feel like dying. That's the reason we left the family in the first place.
Harlan: *Hears a car* What's that? *Looks out the window*
Vito: What is it?
Harlan: A cop.

The three stallions started to panic, but Vito had a plan.

Vito: I think I know what to do. Go upstairs and let me handle this.
Police Pony: *Rings the doorbell*
Vito: *Opens the door* How can I help toi officer?
Police Pony: We got a complaint a while ago. Apparently this morning, some ponies had a gunfight just in front of your house. toi know anything about this?
Vito: No. I was riding...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
What to expect in this episode.

Twilight Sparkle: *In a black convertible with two Royal Guards. A bullet hits the door of the convertible they're in*
Royal Guard: Princess, get down!

---

Captain Jefferson: Someone tried to assassinate the princess as she entered our town.

---

Twilight: Why would somepony want me dead?
Toby: That's what we're trying to find out.

---

Tim: *Gets punched three times par a blue unicorn. He gets punched one plus time, and his glasses break*

Intro
Song: link

Julia: *Driving her police car on the round freeway*
Tim: *Sitting suivant to her*

Gran Turismo

Starring Larry Wilcox as Tim...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
What to expect in this week's episode.

Tim: You're splitting us up?
Captain Jefferson: Just until Saturday. Someone's gotta teach the new guys what to do.

---

Pony: *Driving a sports car* Turn on the nitrous.
Pony 2: *Turns on the nitrous*
Pony: *Going faster*

---

Captain Jefferson: These two guys are wanted par the State Troopers, both in this state, and in Pennsylvania.
Tim: *Driving after the bad guys*
Captain Jefferson: We gotta be on our game.
Tim: *Hits another car, and goes on two wheels*

Song: link

Julia: *Driving her police car on the round freeway*
Tim: *Sitting suivant to her*

Gran Turismo

Starring...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
When Saten Twist returned to Los Angeles in the Super Chief, he saw Jake looking at him.

Jake: *Angry*
Saten: *Sweating* Why is he giving me that look? *Stops the train*
Jake: *Tapping his left front hoof on the ground, waiting for Saten Twist*
Saten: *Climbs down from the engine's cab* Why are toi angry at me?
Jake: toi owe me an apology for the way toi talked to me yesterday.
Saten: John-
Jake: IT'S JAKE!!!!
Saten: Why are toi getting angry at me all of a sudden?
Jake: Your lecture towards me made me lose my job, and now I can't find work anywhere else.
Saten: toi quit?
Jake: Yeah. I'm still waiting...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
 Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!


Song: link
 Celestia: *Runs from the left. She jumps up, her wings spreading wide, then her face gets into the triangle*
Celestia: *Runs from the left. She jumps up, her wings spreading wide, then her face gets into the triangle*


Albuquerque, New Mexicolt. July 19th, 1958

Saten Twist: *Walking towards the Super Chief*
Stallion 16: Here to take this train all the way to Los Angeles?
Saten Twist: *Nods, and climbs into the cab*
Conductor: All aboard!!
Saten Twist: *Blows the horn twice, and makes the train go forward*
 This is the train Saten Twist is driving, called the Super Chief. A luxury train for ponies.
This is the train Saten Twist is driving, called the Super Chief. A luxury train for ponies....
continue reading...
Oh shit, BT's not making fun of someone this time around? (well in an indirect way I might be but let's see where this goes)

Yeah, I don't care if anyone reads this, I just want to get this off of my chest, because I'm gonna try and be real with this site for once and it's 1 AM in the morning.

One thing I've noticed in the time that i've been a part of this club (since like, 2012 ou something, idk), is that this club has Lost its backbone. The récent year, now, I've been shitposting like mad, pissing in everyone's cornflakes. I have admittedly been the worst kind of person, for NO good reason....
continue reading...
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: facebook, EQD