Hey guys, so this is a poem that I wrote in the car during an 8-hour drive. I guess I was in Huddy withdrawal/anticipation from the new promo pics...anyways I just felt a sudden need to write! And this is my first contribution to the Huddy fandom, so I apologize if it sucks :P Please tell me what toi think of it, and enjoy!

***

They always say,
"It's complicated,"
when they don't want to believe
that it's simple.
If it's simple, why is it so hard?

I think to myself,
"We're complicated."
Are we?
I'm a perjurer,
but you're a felon.
I'm lonely,
but you've got no one.
One night, toi gave me everything I asked for
so can I ask for one plus thing?

Can toi look at me
and see into my heart?
Can toi not let yourself be fooled
when I say "I don't l’amour you"?
Can toi make it easier for me?
Because toi were too late.
I was there, and toi weren't,
so when he came,
I went with him instead.
When toi got there,
I was gone.
So toi owe me this.

Tell me why it was so hard
to lie to you.
Tell me why I held your hand,
when toi couldn't even feel it.
Tell me why I wasn't just there
to protect hospital property.

Because I have no idea.

I don't know why I feel like
all I can think about is you.

toi really are
the most screwed up person in the world
toi were broken
so many times
and no one fixed you.
I don't know if I can.
I think it might be too late for that.

But can toi fix yourself?
Can toi remember why,
when everyone knew this was going somewhere,
toi made sure that it didn't?
Why toi stood and stared through the window
instead of knocking on the door?
toi were scared.
Scared of what toi might have found
if it had opened.

I'm scared too.

That's why
I need toi to tell me
why I was lying when I yelled at toi in Trenton,
why when toi opened up your heart,
underneath the rubble,
I forgot everything I had known
that proved we would never work.
I need toi to tell me.
Because it's frightening,
jumping into the darkness
and not knowing if there's anything there
to break my fall.

Why can't toi just tell me?
You've always known all the answers.
Is it a sickness?
How long do I have?
Can toi fix me?
But of course,
my questions are rhetorical.
I know the answer
even if I don't want to admit it.

There is no answer.

The scariest part of it is
this truth:
l’amour is simple.
It's too simple
and I need it to be complicated.

I l’amour you.

That's not hard to understand.
There are no undertones, no double meaning.
But how can it be so simple,
when it's so hard?
I need reasons
because then I'll have a backup plan.
I'll understand
so I can prepare and I can make sure
that I won't get hurt.

But this is the price.
It's nonnegotiable.
I know, but I'm stalling.
Do I really want to pay?
Is what you're selling
worth it?

In the end, though, I know
that I won't be able to resist.
I want too much
to know what I will find
when I finally reach the end,
when I get to the bottom.
But to do that,
I have to put on a blindfold
and step over the edge.

I'm still not so sure,
but it's too late now.
There's no turning back.
My wings
haven't grown yet,
and I've let myself fall,
blind and uncertain.
So I guess we'll have to see if,
at the end,
there will be someone there to catch me.

***

Quick note: I realized after typing this up that it was loosely based on one of Cuddy's lines in the (amazing) final scene of the season 6 finale. She says "I just need to know if toi and I can work", and I guess that's what inspired this. Oh, and just to clarify, this poem is basically what Cuddy is silently saying to House.