This is an EXTRA SAD chapter. Get ready with tissues and a lot of chocolate.
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"Learning how to say Goodbye"

Chapter 4: The Wedding. House POV


The wedding march begins to resound throughout the church. The guests get up and slowly turn to the wooden door. And when it opens, the smiles on their faces let my imagination run free to picture you.

I'm hidden in the most remote part of the church, hoping that toi will not see me, hoping not to make toi sad on your wedding day.

Today I'm not wearing my usual jeans and un-ironed shirt. I'm wearing a tuxedo, but you'll never know this. Even the guests won't see it, because I plan on leaving before toi can say the two words that will end everything.

While I see toi moving vers l'avant, vers l’avant with that wonderful dress I think what a lucky man Lucas is. Wilson is suivant to you, accompanying toi down the aisle. I laugh because he is plus nervous than you. toi look vers l'avant, vers l’avant impassively. Wilson looks rather uncertain, as if he can make toi think about going back. But toi give him a little nudge, and he returns his gaze to the altar where Lucas awaits you.

I do not know if you're making the right choice, but I hope you're happy with him. I hope toi can have your own family, the family that toi have wanted for your entire life.

And every single step toi take towards the altar makes the memories come to my mind, plus vivid than ever.

I am an idiot, I know. I've spent the last twenty years hiding from you, secretly following you, sabotaging toi whenever I could without being overly malicious. And for all these years we have done nothing but build a mur between us, between the past and the present and the future. We must admit to ourselves that we broke through the mur a couple of times. All the times that we have spent together, I think I will miss them all. Well, I'll miss you. I would never admit it to anyone, but I took the biggest step: I admitted to myself.

Now Wilson is s’embrasser your hand. He walks down from the altar and sits with the other guests. I can see his tears. I laugh to myself again - he's too emotional. I think he would have been better off if he'd been born as a woman. I haven't even told him that I am here. I have kept it a secret from everyone: I a dit that I would never come to the wedding and that I would leave after we Lost our chance. Oh god! I'm pathetic. Mayfield has made me become emotional! Well, maybe it's not that bad. I've learned so many things over the years that I had never been taught in all my years of study. I know how to l’amour someone, I realized my mistake, I deleted a part of my life and now I'm redoing part of it. And I'm losing you. This time it's forever.

toi are at the altar and the most amazing thing is to watch toi in that beautiful dress. Well, even without that dress you're beautiful. I impassively watch the priest and your future husband. toi don't look happy. I haven't even seen toi smile. Give me a sign; tell me that you're happy, that we are not making the greatest mistake of your life. I need toi to do something. I need toi to let me leave this place with the certainty that you're happy and toi do not need me anymore.

It's time for the rings. Rachel has just started walking, accompanied par your sister, bringing the rings. I can still see Wilson, comforting your mother. She weeps with joy for this moment in your life. But toi do not cry ou smile. Who knows what is going through your head.

Rachel finally reaches you. Julia takes the rings and puts them on the table, tableau suivant to you. He takes your hand and, while expressing his love, he slips the ring on your finger. Now you're taking his ring from the table. I get up and walk outside the church. I don't want to see the scene happening behind me. I want to go out and avoid this thing. I realize it's a bit masochistic on my part to be here. I open the door and go out, just in time not to hear toi speak your vows. I walk along the corridor to where Nolan is waiting for me.

I'm leaving again. toi don't need me anymore. Since I've known toi were getting married I'd wondered how I would live afterwards. I considered various options: returning to Mayfield, moving to another state, I also thought about suicide. I tried but I failed.

"Can we stop par the hospital for a minute?"
"Of course Greg."
"Thanks."

We climb into the car and go to the hospital. I walk past the automatic doors and into your office. I leave a letter for you, hoping that you'll read it and not throw it in the trash.

Lisa
All your nightmares are gone. Now begins your new life.

Unless this is not the life toi want.

House

P.S. Your dress was fabulous. You're beautiful.


Nolan approaches me.

"Are toi sure?"
"No ..."
"I can wait as long as toi need me to. Take all the time toi want ou need..."
"I'm ok. I have to leave."
"Why do toi want to go back to Mayfield?"
"It's the first place that came to my mind."
"Greg ..."
"No. I have to go back there."
"I'll ask my question again: are toi sure about this whole thing?"
"No."
"Ok. I'll wait for toi in the car."

I look at your desk, the one I brought here with your mother's help. At least you'll remember me. I look at the photos toi have framed. I take a picture of toi and Rachel. I hope toi don't mind.

I leave your office for the last time.

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suivant chapter will be up tomorrow morning (Italian time). Get ready for Cuddy's POV.

Lemme know what toi think. commentaires are always plus that appreciated!

xxx

-Sissi