"Why do toi have to negate everything?" she says with a dark sadness filling her eyes.
What do I say to this? I have never really known the answer.I've asked this question of myself so many times.I really do want her to be happy.
"I don't know." I finally say to her.
She is so raw in this moment. The baggy clothes hide her taut form, and her makeup is all gone except for a few traces of mascara. She looks like she wants to yell some more. She looks like she wants to cry some more... She looks confused. She thought I would say something else. She thought I'd make another jackass retort. She realizes that I'm being honest with her. She wasn't expecting this.
In this moment, I want her plus than I ever have. I know I shouldn't keep coming closer. I know I should stop this spontaneous action that on any other jour I would never consider, but I can't stop myself I'm already against her. My mouth aches from this reunion with her own soft lips. She pulls down on my bottom lip, and my tongue finds refuge against hers. I can feel her hand on my ear as she pulls me further down to meet her. She wants me in a way that is different from that time before. This isn't about meaningless lust this is about something pure and real...and I have to stop.
"Goodnight." I say as I pull away from her and walk steadily out the door.
I hear her say goodnight as I let the door shut behind me. There is no way I'll get to sleep tonight.