OK, please don't hate me for this. I don't hate ALL Gryffindors. I just think the House itself is over-rated.

All the Weasley's were in Gryffindor. As they are the nicest people in the whole book, and l’amour Harry, people l’amour them. Therefore they l’amour Gryffindor.

Gryffindors basicly owned Hogwarts when Harry's parents attened Hogwarts. James and Sirius mocked the living hell out of Snape, while their two allies looked on. All four of them just happen to be Gryffindor. Weird, hey?

Isn't it a bit unfair, while Harry and co. were at Hogwarts, the head and deputy head were both Gryffindors. And twice...

1. Hermione is a girl.
2. Fred and George are identical when they take Polyjuice Potion.
3. If Snape taught Defense Against The Dark Arts, the only thing you'd need to study is whatever is on Page 394.
4. It's best to eat pois, pea soupe before it eats you.
5. It's not all about wandwork.
6. Don't put your wand in your back pocket. Many wizards have blown off one ou both cheeks when they did it.
7. Wrestling a Fully Grown Mountain Troll will only get toi 5 points.
8.If you're alone with someone on the haut, retour au début of a high building...trust them.
9. Umbridge WILL have order
10. Looking for a way to force character...

THE "HARRY POTTER" SAGA is a magical tale full of adventure and magic. At least, it is for people who like to read books. For those of toi who prefer your entertainment seared into your retinas through moving images, there is finally a film version in theaters. Use this cheat-sheet reference if you're a casual moviegoer confused par the strange world of Quidditch, Muggles and British children.


Harry Potter: The hero of the eponymous book series. He's the green, one-eyed monster on the movie posters.

Ministry of Magic: Government agency in charge of enforcing the rules of magic and alliteration....

Writen par Sam the Vicious Zebra

1. I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor will I insist that their House couleurs indicate that they are "covered in bees".

2. No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do, I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.

3. "I've heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.

4. Putting up Doug Henning posters in Filch's office is not appropriate.

5. I will not go to class skyclad.

6. The Giant Squid is not an appropriate rendez-vous amoureux, date to the Yule Ball.

7. I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "I told toi I was...

Slytherins are evil.
Gryffindors are perfect.
Ravenclaws just study.
Hufflepuffs are useless.

I think we have all established that those are all completely untrue. This is called "stereotyping" and it is BAD. It tosses groups of people together and sticks a label on the lot of them, no matter that they're not all exactly the same.

This happens all the time, whether it be stereotyping par house, skin colour, gender, ou blood "purity".

Think of it this way...

Purebloods have discriminated against muggleborns for centuries. It's something that has never changed and probably never will. All purebloods,...