(Spin-off of the Card table, tableau Dating skit par Richard Jeni)

I say when toi meet your other self toi don't want a dîner table, what toi want is a card table! A 1p and a 2p meet up at a card table, write all their emotional problems on little cards, and take turns slappin' em on the table, tableau and being honest. First time they're scheduled to meet, the first guy's got his card, he goes:

2p: "Hello it's nice to meet you, my name is Oliver, and I'm a baker!"

1p: "Hello, my name is Arthur, and I'm a WiZaRD!"

2p: "Uh, okay then... Well, my turn-"

1p: "I used to lock my brother in the closet when he was three!"

2p: "... My brother came out of the closet when he was four."

Both: *awkward staring*

2p: "Well I can't have an orgasm unless I'm on top."

1p: "I can't have an orgasm unless I'm on cRAck!"

2p: "... Alright, listen now... I have an imaginary friend that's a flying bunny."

1p: "YOU KNOW FLYING MINT BUNNY!?"

2p: "... I'm neurotic, I need to see other people."

1p: "I'm schizophrenic- I aM OtHer pEOpLE!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"

2p: "Okay...um, I'm just gonna... go now, see toi poppet!"

((Note: ...Don't. Don't even ask. I thought it was funny. ... That is all.))