Harry Potter vs Twilight Club
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posted by HecateA
So lately I've been thinking of the Cullens and how damn rich they are. And then I stop and go, wait a minute, how is that possible?

So I am going to compare the Cullen expenses and the average normal-people expenses in this chart.

Expense Normal People The Cullens

-Food X X*
-Clothing X X*
-Shelter X X
-Gas X X
-Inssurance X
-Electricity X X
-Running water X ?*
-Heating/cooling X
-School supplies X X
-Blood X
-At accueil
Medical supplies
and medicine X X*
-Private island X*
and its maintenance X
-Cottage ou
campground, etc X
-Travel expenses X X*
-Cell phones X X
-Useless Twilight
merchandise X
-Lunch money X X
-Morning Starbucks
coffee X
-Cleaning supplies X X
-Gardening suppliesX X
-Building supplies
for renovation
ou lost-
cottage
rebuilding X X
-Dental care!
(had to put it) X
-Counter fit
identification
papers X

The ones with the little stars are the ones that I can hear Twihards arguing at me about threw my monitor.

nourriture - Didn't they, like, feed 3 loups garous in Breaking Dawn? (only one ate, but they had the nourriture for 3). Then they tried to get Bella to eat, then Renesmeee. They also keep nourriture as a hommage (makes so much sense since no humans ever come over). That gets bad and gets chucked (except in December, when all the carollers come along), so not only is it a huge waste, but it also means that they have to re-buy stuff regularly (but I suppose they keep it for a week ou so past experation since it gets closed, but wouldn't the house start to stink? Add extra Febreze to their liste of expenses)

Clothing - So not only do they need to dress 7 vamps, but Alice is a shop-o-holic and Rosalie was used to the best her whole life, so no thrift-store stuff. And then they stuffed a huge room with stuff for Bella and Edward. We can pretty surely double the clothes $ for the Cullens.

Insurance - Since they don't get sick and can't die and are so perfect they don't have car accidents, I don't suppose they have any. Not on their house either, because what could happen that one of them couldn't fix? Plus if there's a feu they all die anyways, so...

Running water - Do they have running water? I assume they do as another "prop" and since Bella spends so much time there (unless another Mary-Sue power is super-bladders).

Heating/cooling -I'll spare them this one since they don't technically need it.

Blood - Did Carlisle get it free? I don't know, but I'm not going to re-read BD for that. If toi know please tell in the comments!

At accueil medical supplies and medicine - I know some humans do need medical equipement in their homes, but for the average not that many. And the Cullens probably do keep advil ou something (note, does advil work on vampires? What do toi think?) as a hommage ou maybe they do need it (answer in comments, guys!). But either way, they probably spent a little plus then the average family on medical stuff.

Private island - They paid FOR the island, they pay to KEEP the island to themselves, they pay to KEEP the island and house clean, they pay for the stuff INSIDE the house... plus then owning a cottage, don,t toi think?

Travel expenses - I don't know if its just me, but the Cullens seem to take-off for Italy plus often then your average American family, eh? And if toi plan on goign on vacation, usually there's a lot of saving involved. Oh yeah, also, Edward running around the globe in despair looking for my good friend Vicky in New Moon.

EXCUSES TWIHARDS MAY COME UP WITH...

1) "They've been saving for a long time"

Okay, but they've also been spending for a long time. They wouldn't have saved enough to be as immensily rich as S Meyer describes them as.

2) "Carlisle's a doctor!"

Yes, yes he is. But without any of the kids having as much as a part-time job, and Esme not working, it still doesn't cover the monthly budget 20 times.

Ooh, other thing: maybe he's still paying off university. And wouldn't he technically have to re-do it? New advances get made and sometimes toi just need to get filled in on the new stuff. And I mean, his diploma would be from the 1800 ou 1900 way before he was even "born", wouldn't that cause issues every time he changes jobs? Ooops, forgot, counter-fit diploma, right. But that can't be cheap and being as good-hearted as he is, Carlisle'll want to pay the guy for doing it, right?


And I can't come up with any other. If toi have one, post in commentaires and I'll add it with me argument.


Conclusion: After doing the math, I don't see how the Cullens can be so immensily, damn rich. Thanks for reading!
Credit for the first 11 goes to mugglenet.com

11 Ways to Use Harry Potter to Annoy a Twilight Fan
Guaranteed to start a shouting match of fantastic proportions...


1. Steal their copy of Twilight and replace it with one of your Harry Potter livres in a Twilight dust jacket.

2. Tell them that Edward is a "hand-me-down" because the Twilight films got him after the Harry Potter films were finished with him.

3. liste other "hand-me-downs" from the books, like the last names of Black and Clearwater...

4. State that toi think Edward would be hotter if he had a lightning scar on his forehead.

5. "Accidentally"...
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posted by teamsalvatore98
Hello, everyone. It's me, teamsalvatore. (Salvy)

So this club is Potter vs. Twilight, Rowling vs. Meyer, Wizards vs. Vampires. I, personally, my opinion, think that Twilight is better than Harry Potter. BUT I think that there are some redundant things in Twilight. And remember, these are ust my opinions:

-Bella's weakness; She's helpless, and turning girls everywhere into weak, spineless idiots. She's making girls everywhere think they need a guy like Edward to protect them.
-Edward's obvious self-hate; He's a non-cutting emo, for crying out loud! A wannabe! We get it, Eddy, toi don't like yourself....
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Okay. I know what toi are all thinking. Oh no not another Harry Potter vs. Twilight article but yes I am making one because I can. I just want my opinion to be heard. So first off let me liste the reasons why children, teens and adults can l’amour Harry Potter and the good messages that Harry Potter gets across. Harry Potter first of all teaches people about the very special bond between people called friendship. Harry, Hermione and Ron are a perfect example of friendship. They are all with Harry until the very end like they promised. They risk their lives for each other and even though they fight,...
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posted by TeamSiriusBlack
    Ok, well I’m getting pretty tired of people saying that Bella and Edward’s relationship is love. It’s not. It’s just lust. Let’s look at the clues:
-She sees him and thinks he’s gorgeous.
-He likes her smell.
-He’s a vampire.
    Now, before I start écriture about these points, I would like to compare the relationship to that of Snape and Lily. Yes, they have never gone out but they didn’t need to. Snape met Lily when they were little. He probably thought she was pretty and developed a crush on her which bloomed into love. When Snape found...
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posted by Sophia21
Realised the points have little to do with plot, thus changed the titre to errors.

My apologise to Twilight fans if I'm a little too harsh, but I have reread the livres like twice this mois and it was a little exasperating. Not to worry, I'm currently rereading Harry Potter, so a plothole liste on it will be added soon =)

Ok, let's get started:

1.A hundred years of...nothingness?
Explanation: I don't expect science fiction livres to be scientifically accurate. But if toi plan your main character to live 100 years studying in prep forever at the age of 17, make the whole book plausible. No, just saying...
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posted by woofbark
Okay, I'm going to give reasons why each book is better in this article. Then, comment, argue/contradict my points, and start a reasonable débats (not a fight) on the commentaire board, please!
PRO TWILIGHT
I'm not a big Twilight fan, but I can try to come up with some reasons:
1.Bella's emotions are described in depth, leaving no area unexplored. We know exactly how she feels at every second, whether she is gazing at Edward ou making noodles. (this could also be a drawback-you can't have a story be completely emotion and no story)
2.Love? Well, Edward and Bella are in a relationship where they...
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posted by FredWRules
-harry’s hormones went overdrive when he saw this spankin’ hot qurl from the ravenclaw quidditch team.

-being the teenage boy he is, he didn’t make a déplacer until it was the yule ball and it turns out that this d00d cedric asked her out.

-then this d00d died and cho was all “bawwww cedric” but somehow she managed to get over all that because of harry’s eternal glory the strategically placed mistletoe. so they kissed.

-then they dated on valentine’s jour in hogsmeade and cho wanted to be all “baww cedric” in front of harry. but harry, being the hormone-driven infatuated teenager he is, was all ears.

-then it ended when harry a dit he was meeting hermione, because apparently cho’s the only one allowed to talk about someone else in their relationship.
added by Gred_and_Forge
Source: Tumblr
added by TeamSiriusBlack
added by nati30
Source: Once again, another pic I found in the C.A.T. spot
I made a liste of combined and possible plot holes about Harry Potter. Some of them I came up with myself, and some of them I got from different places online. If toi can give explanation answering the questions ,do it please.
I purposely put in a few really really picky question because there are a lot of articles about Twilight like this, so I want to see how Harry Potter fans respond to the ridiculously picks questions. I'm not going to tell toi which ones they are, but they should be easy to pick out.





1.    Why do the founders of Hogwarts have surnames? Family names weren’t...
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posted by BedIntruder
95 Reasons Why Twilight Sucks
Opinion par BedIntruder posté 4 hours il y a


1. Bella is a perfect character (“Mary Sue”), which Meyer hides par calling her clumsy.
2. Being clumsy is not a flaw if Edward always catches her.
3. She can’t do anything without Edward.
4. And when he leaves she attempts to commit suicide.
5. Meyer is living out her own fantasies par écriture about Bella, who is clearly herself.
6. The livres aren’t well written, just because every other word is a fancy adjective doesn’t make it good writing.
7. All the rules Meyer sets for being a vampire are broken par the end of the...
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added by youknowit101
Source: trollposts@tumblr
added by kenzichu
link


116. "BTW Twilight is the bestest film ever" I get really frusterated when soomebody compares the films instead off the movies. And whats worse is that toi arent giving any reasons. "Stop hating, pick-up Twilight, actually read it and toi will l’amour it and stop hating Twilight". Has it ever occurred to toi that twilight haters have read the whole series? Like me? "HP is all around boring and it is made for younger children". I dont understand how Harry Potter can be so boring. Maybe toi didnt keep up with the amount of action and romance and magic and the mystery. ou maybe toi didnt read...
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posted by lucius_malloy
So, once there was this girl - well, actually that girl still is - but anyway, this girl who we'll call Emma, for the purposes of now. (Well, actually, we'll call her that because it's her name. But toi get the point.)

Around two, two and a half years ago, when Emma was in sixth grade, one of her Friends - let's call her K, if she must have a name - was lire a book that looked rather interesting. It was black, with a shiny hard cover, and had an pomme on the front. It was called Houkutus, which translates to Temptation. Emma liked the name and thought it might prove an interesting read, but...
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posted by GemonkDruid
 Too true!
Too true!
I discovered these song spoofs in my écriture folder from my "Uber-Anti" stage, and I decided to share it with toi guys, for the sake of nostalgia and whatnot.

Dumb Isabella (spoof on Umbrella par Rihanna)-

You wanna be, a sparkly Meyer-pire like me
Maybe in your dreams, but never in reality
Until toi agree, to take my hand and marry me
And that's when you’ll want me there
to turn toi into a vampire
Because

[Chorus]
You’re a stupid Sue who wants us together
Told toi I'll be here forever
Said I'll always be your bitch
Took an oath I regret, toi crazy witch
Now it's raining plus than ever
But we’re...
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posted by LoveforSeverus
Well I've been écriture a little fanfic recently and I realized that when I write fanfic, I mostly let my character's handle the plot. Whatever happens to pop in my head at the time, and doesn't go completely against the global, ensemble story line, gets put in the fanfic.
But Smeyer says that she wrote Twilight par just "letting her characters handle the plot". There par making it seem a lot like how, not only I, but other people, write fan fiction.
I decided to look up some reasons of what makes a good fan fiction:
"1. Choose the anime/manga/book/video game/movie toi want your fan-fic to be about." Vampire's...
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posted by LilRavenclaw95
Okay, my friend and I go to a school that has a thing called 'Lit Circles'. There's a liste of books, and Twilight is on there, but not Harry Potter. My friend thought this was totally wrong, and wrote a super long persuasive essay to our English teacher about it. This was all hers, and I can't take credit for how awesome it is :)

Why Twilight Should Be Replaced par Harry Potter in Lit Circles

    Two livres sit on the shelf in front of you; on the cover of the first, toi see two pale hands holding a deep red apple. The seconde features a young boy on a broomstick, in midair as...
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posted by ryomaidol
My cousin says we, Harry Potter fans are insecure about this ranting. How should I respond to this?!


(I HAVE TAKEN THINGS FROM OTHER articles HERE, sorry if used without permission)


HERE IS THE ACTUAL CONVERSATION:

Kjerrimyr リョーマ Andres: says Twilight ang pasimuno ng mga JEJEMON (ANGRY) (Twilight started the Jejemon movement)
46 minutes il y a via Plurk · commentaire · Like · View commentaires on Plurk

** ******: weh? PROVE IT!!!
41 minutes il y a ·

Kjerrimyr リョーマ Andres: link wahahahah
33 minutes il y a ·

** ******: duh! nonsense!
23 minutes il y a ·

Kjerrimyr リョーマ Andres: haha Twilighters...
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