WARNING This article might be quite offensive to twilight, so if you're a fan of twilight (especially if you're one of these crazy fangirls) please do not waste your time to read this and comment. I know there's no point of me telling toi this because you'll read and commentaire anyways, but at least I tried.
Dear characters of twilight,
Bella, please get a life. When peoples' l’amour leave them, they try to stay strong and keep fighting for what is worth it like Hermione did. They do not curl up in the fetal position and go numb for weeks like toi did.
Edward, toi think you're hot when toi sparkle? Well you're not. And your taste in women is reckless. Who falls in l’amour with someone who can barley put two words together? Plus, who the hell is so dumb to change from a really cool character (Cedric) to such a loser (Edward)?
Jacob, it was so so SO dumb of toi to fall in l’amour with someone who is five minutes old. And your choice of women is reckless as well because toi fell in l’amour with the same chick the other jerk, what's his name again? Oh yeah, Edward.
Carlisle, toi call yourself and your clan vampires? toi guys don't even come close to mosquitoes who drink only a drop of human blood. Yeah, that's so smart of toi not drinking human blood. If a vampire drinks he drinks human blood, THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE FREAKING KNOWN FOR!!
Esme, toi barley even talk in the whole series!! I thought the mom is suppose to be a big part of all this. I think toi should pay plus attention to Molly Weasley to know what a real mom is.
James, Please stop trying to talk posher than Queen Elizabeth. No one talks like that and it's not cool at all. And you're seriously comparing yourself to Voldemort? Seriously? Oh God if he heard this he would be so embarrassed.... oh wait... villains don't get embarrassed unlike somebody here.
Victoria, toi think you're so cool an badass huh? Well lets call Bellatrix and see how badass you'll be then! Yeah I'll bet she'll be having your cul, ass on feu in a matter of seconds!
Renesmee, toi do not believe how sorry I feel for you. First, toi have an incredibly dumb sparkling mom, a huge show-off sparkling dad, and a psycho werewolf boyfriend that is older than toi in like what? 18 years? Second, your dumb mom gave toi an even dumber name. Renesmee Carlie Cullen. What a shame.... I feel really sorry for toi kid.
Rosalie, you're just as much as a montrer off as Edward. toi think you're so pretty and all? Well toi know what I think? I think Lord Voldemort is prettier than you! And he's bald and doesn't have a nose! The only thing I ever liked toi for is that toi used to hate Bella. But yet again, toi USED to hate Bella, toi don't anymore so I don't like toi at all.
Jasper, Good Job imitating Harry on the messy hair, too bad it didn't work. And good for toi Harry never saw it, he would pass out. Though if toi ate Bella in New Moon he would actually like you, but toi didn't so HA!
Emmett, What can I say here? Your whole Teddy ours reputation is getting boring. So don't even try, no one will ever be as big, awesome and cuddly as Hagrid.
Alice, I think toi have to take lessons from Trelawney to learn how to see the future, at least she can predict exactly what would happen and not just possibilities. And stop trying to get populaire and cool par organizing parties and all, because that's realy getting stupid.
Aro, if you're an evil vampire, no if you're even a vampire I'm Ron's Quidditch hat!! Nuf said
Jane, if toi think you're cool you're wrong. I can call Fred and George and make toi guys compete. And don't even try to use your powers because they're not dumb not to put some spell that blocks that.
Regards, a Harry Potter fan
If toi have any plus additions, feel free to tell me in the commentaires and I'll add them to the letter.
Dear characters of twilight,
Bella, please get a life. When peoples' l’amour leave them, they try to stay strong and keep fighting for what is worth it like Hermione did. They do not curl up in the fetal position and go numb for weeks like toi did.
Edward, toi think you're hot when toi sparkle? Well you're not. And your taste in women is reckless. Who falls in l’amour with someone who can barley put two words together? Plus, who the hell is so dumb to change from a really cool character (Cedric) to such a loser (Edward)?
Jacob, it was so so SO dumb of toi to fall in l’amour with someone who is five minutes old. And your choice of women is reckless as well because toi fell in l’amour with the same chick the other jerk, what's his name again? Oh yeah, Edward.
Carlisle, toi call yourself and your clan vampires? toi guys don't even come close to mosquitoes who drink only a drop of human blood. Yeah, that's so smart of toi not drinking human blood. If a vampire drinks he drinks human blood, THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE FREAKING KNOWN FOR!!
Esme, toi barley even talk in the whole series!! I thought the mom is suppose to be a big part of all this. I think toi should pay plus attention to Molly Weasley to know what a real mom is.
James, Please stop trying to talk posher than Queen Elizabeth. No one talks like that and it's not cool at all. And you're seriously comparing yourself to Voldemort? Seriously? Oh God if he heard this he would be so embarrassed.... oh wait... villains don't get embarrassed unlike somebody here.
Victoria, toi think you're so cool an badass huh? Well lets call Bellatrix and see how badass you'll be then! Yeah I'll bet she'll be having your cul, ass on feu in a matter of seconds!
Renesmee, toi do not believe how sorry I feel for you. First, toi have an incredibly dumb sparkling mom, a huge show-off sparkling dad, and a psycho werewolf boyfriend that is older than toi in like what? 18 years? Second, your dumb mom gave toi an even dumber name. Renesmee Carlie Cullen. What a shame.... I feel really sorry for toi kid.
Rosalie, you're just as much as a montrer off as Edward. toi think you're so pretty and all? Well toi know what I think? I think Lord Voldemort is prettier than you! And he's bald and doesn't have a nose! The only thing I ever liked toi for is that toi used to hate Bella. But yet again, toi USED to hate Bella, toi don't anymore so I don't like toi at all.
Jasper, Good Job imitating Harry on the messy hair, too bad it didn't work. And good for toi Harry never saw it, he would pass out. Though if toi ate Bella in New Moon he would actually like you, but toi didn't so HA!
Emmett, What can I say here? Your whole Teddy ours reputation is getting boring. So don't even try, no one will ever be as big, awesome and cuddly as Hagrid.
Alice, I think toi have to take lessons from Trelawney to learn how to see the future, at least she can predict exactly what would happen and not just possibilities. And stop trying to get populaire and cool par organizing parties and all, because that's realy getting stupid.
Aro, if you're an evil vampire, no if you're even a vampire I'm Ron's Quidditch hat!! Nuf said
Jane, if toi think you're cool you're wrong. I can call Fred and George and make toi guys compete. And don't even try to use your powers because they're not dumb not to put some spell that blocks that.
Regards, a Harry Potter fan
If toi have any plus additions, feel free to tell me in the commentaires and I'll add them to the letter.
