Contemplating his future...
It had been a long 2 weeks, he'd spent most of it at work, ignoring everything else that was going on his life. He hadn't been in touch with anyone other than work colleagues.
He buried himself in work. But eventually he ran out of things to do.
Waking up in the morning was the hardest part, because that's when he'd have to plan his day. Not only that, but every time he woke up he'd be reminded that everything that had happened wasn't a dream, it was real and he'd have to face it.
Maybe today was that day, the jour he'd have to face the music.
Unlucky for him it was his jour off today so he couldn't consume himself in work.
He couldn't keep hiding, it wasn't right. 5 precious years had been wasted. He couldn't stretch things out any longer.
He wondered if Blair knew that Serena had exposed her secret to him. He wondered how she would react to him finally accepting the truth. He was almost ready to embrace fatherhood, well he thought he was. Would Blair want him around? Would she want him involved in Bella's life? Would Bella want him as her father?
He remembered how she'd begged for his attention that night at Serena's house. She definitely liked him, and he liked her. She was perfect, so small, beautiful and well behaved. Blair had done a good job in raising her. He wondered if she'd be the same child if he had been around for the past five years. Maybe she was better off without him.
Blair was coping so well and Bella seemed so happy and well raised, maybe she didn't need a father, especially not one like Chuck. He'd failed in every relationship, what made him think he'd make a good father.
Maybe he should just stay away from Bella, she'd be better off without him, she didn't need him, he had nothing to offer her. He looked at his alarm clock. It was still early. He could keep ignoring his problems ou he could get out of lit and go into work, try to get his mind off Bella. Instead he decides to go soul searching. He needed to figure things out.
The name Bella would wonder his head almost all the time so there was no point trying to avoid the issue any more. It was time to make that difficult decision. Was he going to step up and take responsibility ou would he run away again?
He kept thinking about the paternity test results. It proved that he was the father. There was no question about that any more.
Then there was that night, the night he spoke to Blair about Bella's full name...Hope, Madison...of course, Madison square gardens, the NY Knicks game that Serena and Dan had organised a trip to, that's when he had made up with Blair, in the back of the limo.
Out of all places, Bella was conceived in the limo.
Their l’amour limo.
He needed to get out of the house...it was time to put things into perspective.
His first stop. A bar. He knew he hadn't gotten drunk in a long time, he'd promise himself 3 years ago, after rehab. No plus drinking. But desperate times called for desperate measures.
He took a step towards the bar counter and sat on a tabouret before ordering a drink. Just then the guy sitting suivant to Chuck turned towards him.
T: Chuck Bass! Nate's favourite friend!
C: (smiles) Tripp, Nathaniel's favourite Cousin! long time no see! (they shake hands)
T: What brings toi here? Drowning your sorrows ou just an innocent drink?
C: A bit of both. I've got some thinking to do. I thought the scotch would help. (lifts up his glass before taking a sip)
T: Interesting...so, i hear your a business man now, quiet a successful one?
C: Yeah, toi heard right...what about you?
T: Life's pretty great man, got the job, the money, the car, the wife and the kids!
C: (laughs) was that in order of importance?
T: (laughs) nah, well plus like reverse order...nothings better than the wife and kids...money cant buy toi love...and a man without l’amour is a lonely man without a life.
Chuck looks away, stung par how much Tripp's words made sense.
T: Did i touch a nerve there? (chuck doesn't respond) who is she? ou is there anyone?
C: There might be...someone.
T: Blair Waldorf right?
C: How did you...
T: She used to be with Nate, ive met her a few times, i asked Nate about her once a few years back, he mentioned that she was with you...so what happened?
C: Id be here all jour if i told you...we're not together right now.
T: So what do toi want from the scotch?
C: I don't know.....comfort? .....you're a married man with a kid, ou kids...is it worth it? I mean people get par with what they have, why do toi need something toi cant have?
T: Look, why don't we forget about the drink and go for a walk, maybe i can montrer toi the answer to your question?
C: How?
T: My wife and 2 children should be home, toi can come over for lunch and we can exchange business contacts while we're at it.
C: Sure.
* * * * * * * *
Tripp and Chuck arrive at Tripp's house. They go inside and are greeted par Alex and Adriana, Tripp's children, Emily, his wife also approaches them.
T: And this is my beautiful wife (they kiss) and we l’amour each other plus each day...Em, this is Chuck Bass, heir of basse, bass Inc. Son of Bart Bass.
E: Nice to meet toi (they shake hands) your an old friend of Nate's right?
C: Yeah...and its nice to meet toi too.
Alex: Daddy your just in time for lunch!
T: Great! I hope there's enough for one more! Why don't we go into the dining room?
They have lunch and talk. Chuck notices how close and happy Tripp's family is, they all know so much about each other and all seem so happy.
Its clear that Alex adores his father, he looked 10 years old, Adriana was probably 8.
They both seemed so well looked after. Tripp was working full time, he was a successful businessman just like Chuck and yet he was still able to be a good family man.
And Emily seemed so happy with him, they were so much in love, they'd been together for over 10 years and were still so much in love. It was possible.
E: So Chuck, tell us about you.....how's the business going?
C: It's going great....i only moved back here to New York a few months ago. I had been with my Uncle Jack before the déplacer until father called and offered me a proposition to work here in the City, so things have been going pretty well.
E: Well that's good to hear...being successful isn't that easy...my Tripp can tell toi all about that!
T: Yeah, it's a tough journey for some...but for some of us it comes easily....you know having family in the right places...
C: Well i kind of had to work my way up...in my fathers eyes...he doubted me for a long time until my Uncle gave me the break i needed, after that everything seemed to fall into place.
E: So the business front is sounding good...how about your social life...any girlfriend? Wife?
C: Ummmm no...i dont really think about that.
T: Really...that's not what toi a dit at the bar....it kinda seemed like toi were thinking about it?
C: Well....things happen toi know...sometimes life throws things at toi and toi kinda have to try figuring things out.
E: So toi have been thinking about it? Settling down i mean? Is there....anyone?
C: No.
T: Blair Waldorf.
E: Blair? Wasn't that....a girlfriend of Nate's?
T: Was....a long long time ago...in high school i think....but Chuck has a history with her....so Chuck....where is Blair anyway?
C: (sighs) Here in New York...on the other side of town.
T: Oh, so toi guys all still live on the Upper East Side....what brought toi to the West today?
C: I dont know...my office is in Mid Town so i just decided to go the other way...You Upper West Siders aren't much different to us.
T: Back to your l’amour life....have toi seen her?
C: Who Blair? Yeah a few times.
T: And? Have toi spoken?
C: It's a long complicated story...we boke up for good 5 years ago...now that im back in town it's kinda....odd.
E: Well if toi still have feelings for her....maybe toi should have another go....is she with anyone?
C: No.
T: Well then....what's the problem!?
C: She has a kid...
T: Oh.
C: No but the kid is mine....she was pregnant when i left.
E: toi left her when she was pregnant?
C: Look i told toi it's complicated....she cheated on me and i thought the baby wasnt mine, i left, now im back, Serena showed me the paternity test result proving the kid is mine...so here i am now totally confused about what to do next.
T: Woah you're still Friends with Serena van Der Woodsen? How is she?
E: Tripp! Stop changing the subject.
C: par the way it's Serena Humphrey.
T: Wait she's married now?
C: To a guy from Brooklyn...yeah funny aint it?
E: Guys...come on....back to Chuck and Blair....so the kid...it's definitely your's?
C: Yeah.
E: And are toi going to.....you know....take responsibility.
C: What do toi mean....i dont know....im not exactly father material..
E: Well toi never know unless toi give it a go.
T: Yeah man...all toi have to do is be there...it aint that hard if toi and Blair are in it together.
C: Look she probably wouldn't want me around....im sure if she did she would have asked...or a dit something....she's had plenty of opportunities to say something but she hasn't.
E: Maybe she's just afraid that you'd say no...i mean toi did leave her....
C: I dont know....i dont know if being a father is my thing.
E: Look, it's too late for that, your this kids father toi cant just ignore that...you have no choice, toi have to be there for your child. I dont know what i'd do without Tripp, my life would be so hard, God knows what Blair must be going through....she must need you....even if not for her, she'll need toi for her daughter....
C: What if.....what if i told toi that....i was afraid.
E: Of what?
C: Of being rejected....of letting her down. Being a bad father....Blair not wanting me around. I dont want to get hurt again.
E: Chuck....i dont know you....this is the first time we've met each other, but i can already tell that toi have a good heart, good intentions....act on them and everything will be ok....you should stop worrying, stop thinking that everything will go wrong....it wont....looking after a child is a beautiful thing. You're going to l’amour it. (she smiles at him and he smiles back)
They continue to talk until it's Chuck finally tells them he has to go home. He thanks them for lunch and they wish him good luck. Tripp walks Chuck out of the house.
T: salut every couple goes through hell to get heaven. Sometimes toi just have to choose forgiveness and l’amour over the mistakes people make. I know what your father is like, don't end up like him. He chose the fast life, but he'll always be lonely...do toi really want that Chuck? toi know, it is possible to be a business man and a family man...im sure Blair wont wait for toi forever...make the right choice, for your own sake...good luck man.
And with those words he walked back into his house leaving Chuck plus confused than ever. Was it worth it? Did he really want to end up like Bart?
He had never spoken to Bart about life before, never had his father donné him any advice...they always say parents know best... He wondered for a moment...maybe it would be worth it.
* * * * * * * *
It was a risk. Coming here for his particular reasons. Bart would never be expecting this. His son coming to him for advice...he would be surprised.
Chuck found his way into his fathers Study, he saw him, his head buried in a book, glass of whiskey in one hand.
Bt: Chuck...what brings toi here? Has Terry been in touch?
C: Ummm no...he's due in on Wednesday...he a dit he'd bring the brochure with him.
Bt: Great...sit down...pour yourself a drink.
C: No...im off that stuff.
Bt: (looks at him and laughs) don't kid yourself boy...take a glass go on.
Chuck reluctantly pours himself a glass, he hated the taste of whiskey but he could never disobey his father. Bart had a unique influence over Chuck. What Bart said, goes. Whatever the demand, Chuck would have to comply, he began to regret coming here, he knew that his decision about Bella would depend on Bart's advice...but it was to late to turn back now.
After a short silence Chuck finally spoke.
C: Whats it like having to be a father?
Bt: (looks at him blankly for a moment) what makes toi ask that?
C: I dont know, im just curious.
Bt: Curiosity can be a dangerous thing!
C: How?
Bt: Well toi may discover things toi wish remained buried!
C: (sighs) Dont i know it....so are toi not going to answer my question?
Bt: Well.........no offence to toi son.......but life's much easier without kids.
C: (looks disappointed) But don't toi get lonely...by yourself?
Bt: Im not alone...you're here. (sarcastic)
C: But if i didn't exist...wouldn't toi be lonely without a family?
Bt: No, toi dont have to have a family to be happy, this is the 21st century, traditions are a thing of the past...its a dog eat dog world, toi dont need anyone but yourself...correct me if im wrong, all the people you've ever cared about have hurt toi and let toi down?
C: I guess so...
Bt: Exactly, toi cant get attached to anyone son, toi only end up getting hurt...take it from me...focus on your job, have fun, meet new people, new women no strings attached, toi know what i mean...that's what people like toi and me need...an easy, fun life.
It fell silent again. Bart continued lire his book whilst Chuck pondered his fathers advice? "people like toi and me". Was he meant to be like his father?
The way Bart had treated him his whole life, as if he never cared. The reason why Chuck was so messed up was because of his childhood, the neglect. Is that the kind of father Chuck was destined to be? Bella didn't deserve that.
Maybe Chuck was just like Bart. Maybe his destiny was never meant to be shared with anyone.
He watched his father sitting there, reading. As if Chuck wasn't even there, he had never shown any interest in Chuck, never shown any love. It was Bart's fault that Chuck had never felt deserving of love. Not until Blair had fallen in l’amour with him. She was the only one who'd ever loved him. ou maybe she didn't, after all she'd cheated on him. Could he ever truly forgive her for that? Was it worth forgiving Blair just to have what Tripp had? A family. ou would he just end up like the man sitting in front of him?
He a dit goodbye to Bart before leaving, he knew what he needed to do, he had never been so clear about anything in his life before...this was it...he'd finally made his choice. Seeing his father was when it hit him, who would have thought that Bart would be the one to make Chuck realise the kind of life he wanted to live...
To be continued...
Next episode will be up on Monday! Thanks for reading! again, sorry for discrepancies ou mistakes, i kinda rushed posting this!
Decision time!
