This is a poem I wrote today, 7 May 2008. Feedback/analysis is welcome.
********************
My eyes have been thirsting for you
These long lonely years
My ears have strained to hear your voice
The boy's enthusiasm for his lover
Has not sagged but rather swelled
With deprivation
Memory paints you
Perfect in wit, charm
Desire
Today I saw toi briefly, from afar
I had to avert my eyes
Lest I be consumed
My ears heard your distant laughter
Through all the other noise
In that crowded place
I know that memory lies
But still I shivered
With longing and remorse
Today I also heard of the other man
Now in your life
Somewhere inside, a door slammed shut
A portcullis came crashing down
Putting an end to the questions
Could there be a place for us in our lives?
Might we ever talk again of big things and small
(Not wrapped in each other's arms, but still)?
Would I ever again hear stories about your cats,
Equal parts condescension and affection?
Would toi want to talk? Could we be friends, or
Would toi want to claw out my eyes?
The door slammed shut, and all I could feel
Was a tremendous, crushing weight
Miraculously lifted from my shoulders
Free - free at last!
********************
My eyes have been thirsting for you
These long lonely years
My ears have strained to hear your voice
The boy's enthusiasm for his lover
Has not sagged but rather swelled
With deprivation
Memory paints you
Perfect in wit, charm
Desire
Today I saw toi briefly, from afar
I had to avert my eyes
Lest I be consumed
My ears heard your distant laughter
Through all the other noise
In that crowded place
I know that memory lies
But still I shivered
With longing and remorse
Today I also heard of the other man
Now in your life
Somewhere inside, a door slammed shut
A portcullis came crashing down
Putting an end to the questions
Could there be a place for us in our lives?
Might we ever talk again of big things and small
(Not wrapped in each other's arms, but still)?
Would I ever again hear stories about your cats,
Equal parts condescension and affection?
Would toi want to talk? Could we be friends, or
Would toi want to claw out my eyes?
The door slammed shut, and all I could feel
Was a tremendous, crushing weight
Miraculously lifted from my shoulders
Free - free at last!
I sit in the darkness as I stare up at the moon above me. I hear your voice and know I will be okay. Even if toi are dead and gone toi are always with me. When I cry toi are with me. When I laugh toi are with me. When I dream toi are with me. When I can't find toi I get scared. But moments later toi there to hold my hand. Only I can see you. Your body may not be here but your spirit is with me. It feels as if toi have never gone. Now I feel much better because I know now toi can never be taken away from me again. I may die someday but don't worry because toi are with me.
R.I.P - Grandma Rose
"I l’amour you"
R.I.P - Grandma Rose
"I l’amour you"
Your words may stay trapped
inside your own mind
but I can feel them
although they're confined.
I can read your face
as if it were a book
your mind is unpleasant,
as toi simmer and cook.
toi give into hatred
your temper boils over
and it's all done
in less than a blur.
Your words do sting
but it does not matter
for in the end
I will not shatter.
In the end
toi will be the victim
of yourself
in the verbatim.
toi are trapped,
toi are your own
enemy; your own life
toi have already blown.
It is sad, truly;
closing yourself off
with violence;
for now toi may scoff.
In the end,
karma is our keeper
she is the ultimatum
of the Grim Reaper.
inside your own mind
but I can feel them
although they're confined.
I can read your face
as if it were a book
your mind is unpleasant,
as toi simmer and cook.
toi give into hatred
your temper boils over
and it's all done
in less than a blur.
Your words do sting
but it does not matter
for in the end
I will not shatter.
In the end
toi will be the victim
of yourself
in the verbatim.
toi are trapped,
toi are your own
enemy; your own life
toi have already blown.
It is sad, truly;
closing yourself off
with violence;
for now toi may scoff.
In the end,
karma is our keeper
she is the ultimatum
of the Grim Reaper.
Phasing in
and phasing out
forgetting what
I originally sought.
couleurs blur
and meld together
I dance so close
beside the heather.
I'm on the edge
of oblivion
I can't trust
What I've been seeing.
The world whirs around
I can't see straight
can toi tell me
how I won this fate?
My thoughts
do vary from time to time
but they're always the same:
of my internal rhyme.
My life beats
to it's own accord
always repeating
it's crazy chord.
And so, to you
I'll depart my advice
perhaps to your life
it's good to add some spice.
-Starwarsfangirl
6/23/1
and phasing out
forgetting what
I originally sought.
couleurs blur
and meld together
I dance so close
beside the heather.
I'm on the edge
of oblivion
I can't trust
What I've been seeing.
The world whirs around
I can't see straight
can toi tell me
how I won this fate?
My thoughts
do vary from time to time
but they're always the same:
of my internal rhyme.
My life beats
to it's own accord
always repeating
it's crazy chord.
And so, to you
I'll depart my advice
perhaps to your life
it's good to add some spice.
-Starwarsfangirl
6/23/1
Every four years the two-headed monster rises from its pit, and we have a choice between this head ou that. Their party line separation is a phantasm haunting reason. It's a choice between this diseased hand ou that diseased hand. We are criminals who defy law. They are criminals who defy freedom. Endless heads of a bureaucratic hydra, and so the smiling wounds we draw across each neck. While they lounge in the decadence of their capitols and dream up new rules of social conduct, we shall sink a couteau in every Caesar, we shall aim our rifles and feu at every president, every senator, every statesman. Wake up. There won't be any change. In the sewer of capitalism, only the scum will rise.
