The Widow's Son in the Windshield[3.1]
Clark Edison: (interviewing to be Brennan's new assistant) Did I get it right?
Cam: Yes. Construction worker, foundation collapse.
Clark: But I'm not impressing her.
Cam: I'm still not completely certain what Dr. Brennan thinks of me.
Booth: So it's been what, three months since Zack shipped off to Iraq?
Brennan: Uh-huh.
Booth: How hard could it be to replace him?
Brennan: How did this skull get here?
Booth: Ask our eyewitness. (Runs off to get a teenage boy.) Let's go buddy. (Brings the boy over to Brennan.)
Boy: I am not high.
Brennan: Neither am I, why is he telling me that?
Boy: I was driving behind a dump truck, and that came flying off the back.
Brennan: Do toi think the rest of the skeleton is still in the truck? Boy: No.
Brennan: Why?
Boy: It didn't come flying out, if came flying off. It bounced. Booth: Oh, a bouncing skull.
Brennan: ou perhaps toi thought that because toi were under the influence of tetrahydrocannabinol.
Boy: What?
Booth: Weed.
Brennan: Why would anyone throw a skull off an overpass?
Private Investigator: So your husband signed his name to the marriage license with an X?
Angela: Yeah.
Private Investigator: So toi married a guy without knowing his name.
Angela: It was Fiji, okay. I was on vacation.
Private Investigator: Right. Well, I'm just gonna need any description that toi can provide of your husband...details, dates, photographs, who else was there...
Angela: Tall, I guess. Muscular. Black. That's all I've got. toi know what, I think his name had a B in it. Actually, it could have been a K. toi know what, I could make toi a sketch.
Angela: toi are not gonna hire that one either.
Brennan: I haven't made up my mind yet.
Angela: And when toi don't hire him, it just prolongs this lame excuse for toi not to go out into the field with Booth.
Brennan: Why would I do that?
Angela: Because, when Hodgins and I ran away from our wedding, we left toi and Booth standing at the altar. And that iconic image totally freaked toi out.
Brennan: No it didn't.
Angela: Sweetie, this is not one of those things where toi try to keep a secret and I furet out the truth. This is where I tell toi something that's true, so toi can catch up to your own reality.
Brennan: Ange, I have no idea what you're talking about.
Angela: (nods) Which actually proves my point. (Hugs Brennan) I really l’amour toi to bits and pieces, sweetie. I know, toi l’amour me back. We'll talk again, when toi catch up.
Caroline Julian: (to the squints) I find that toi maintain an impressively consistent level of annoyance at all times, why?
Cam: Obviously, we're looking for someone that really, really hates classical music...
Zack (looking up from the skull to find everyone staring at him): It's hard to concentrate when you're all staring at me...
Zack: Hey! Why are toi listening to my chest?
Booth: Because I thought toi were dead.
Zack: Why?
Booth: Why? You’re lying on a stainless steel table, tableau for dead people.
Zack: I got tired.
Booth: New rules okay? Sleeping is for couches and beds and stuff like that.
Hodgins: (to Zack) Man! toi look like crap!
Cam: Well, Iraq's not a vacation.
Brennan: Hodgins, the reason I'm not going out in the field with Booth is that I'm trying to find a replacement for Zack.
Hodgins: There is no replacement for Zack. I mean, he's good with bones, excellent at math, he's pretty brilliant at making contraptions, and when our experiments blew up it was easy to pin the blame on him. In my book all that makes Zack irreplaceable.
Brennan: Exactly, which is why I'm stuck in the lab, not some other reason.
Hodgins: The only thing toi can do is forgot about replacing Zack and find someone who can just help out around here.
football Mom in the Mini-Van[3.2]
Angela: (introducing herself to Agent Frost) Angela Montenegro. I do facial reconstructions (nods towards Hodgins) and him.
Sam: (to Booth) She must be really good in bed, otherwise I don't see why you'd keep her around.
Brennan: Yes, I am. But Booth would have no direct knowledge of that fact.
Brennan: As an anthropologist I accept change as the natural order of things but with him I didn't allow for transformation. I predicated his behavior based on a set of out motive preconceptions, it wasn't rational.
Booth: (drunk) Wow, I didn't get any of that.
Booth: Look Bones all I'm saying is Caroline went to a lot of trouble to get toi private visitation with your father and now toi don't want it.
Brennan: The Federal detention facility already has visiting areas. Booth: Yeah behind two inches of glass. Now you'll be able to give your old man, toi know, a hug.
Brennan: I didn't ask for special treatment.
Booth: That's because toi don't have to because toi are special!
Sam: (to Booth) If she were a guy I'd deck her!
Brennan: Actually that distinction is no longer necessary but I wouldn't recommend it.
Cam: How close are we to identifying the victim?
Angela: Well this is the skull. (indicates how broken the skull is) I'm good but I'm not that good.
Brennan: Perhaps toi can use these, (sarcastically) there's a portion of tongue, hair and brain matter.
Angela: Okay if anyone needs me I'm gonna go throw up, then do some paper work.
The Death in the Saddle[3.3]
Brennan: Stop ou I'll kick toi in the testicles!
Booth: I Lost my appetite because toi made me think about all those people parading around pretending to be something they aren’t just so they could have crappy sex.
Brennan: How do toi know it’s crappy?
Booth: Gotta be, Bones. Come on, it’s gotta be.
Brennan: Why?
Booth: Why? I’ll tell toi why. Here we are, all of us, basically alone, separate creatures, just circling each other, all searching for that slightest hint of a real connection. Some look in the wrong places. Some — they just give up hope because, in their mind, they’re thinking, ‘Oh, there’s nobody out there for me,’ but all of us we keep trying over and over again. Why? Because every once in a while…every once in a while, two people meet and there’s that spark, and, yes, Bones, he’s handsome and she’s beautiful and maybe that’s all they see at first, but making love…making love…that’s when two people become one.
Brennan: It is scientifically impossible for two objects to occupy the same space.
Booth: Yeah, but what’s important is we try, and when we do it right, we get close.
Brennan: To what? Breaking the laws of physics?
Booth: Yeah, Bones — a miracle. Those people with their role-playing and their fetishes and their little sex games, it’s crappy sex, well, toi know, at least compared to the real thing.
Brennan: (staring at him, faintly smiling) You’re right.
The Secret in the Soil[3.4]
Brennan: toi want us to base our actions on your gut?!
Booth: toi have your shiny machines, I have my gut.
Angela: Is it always like this whenever toi two are together? Brennan: Yes!
Booth: (at the same time) No.
Angela: (grins) That's kinda hot.
Hodgins: (finding a rare insect) Hello my exotic princess!
Cam: What a charmingly inappropriate greeting Dr. Hodgins.
Zach: I think he was talking to the bug.
Cam: Well now I feel a bit...rejected.
Brennan: So we get to stay together?
Sweets: Yes...
Booth: I'm sensing a but.
Sweets: However...
Brennan: Same as a but.
Brennan: (about Dr. Sweets) Don't scare the boy Booth.
Booth: toi wouldn't even have coffee with me?
Brennan: Well, in your scenerio, we wouldn't even know each other. Because there are no murders
. Booth: Were, I a dit no plus murders.
Brennan: Then fine, we could have coffee. So that's clear, that I mean, we'd have coffee.
The Mummy in the Maze[3.5]
Brennan: (as Wonderwoman) Sorry, the bullet grazed my bracelet!
Brennan: Who's plus powerful, Cat Woman ou Wonder Woman?
Hodgins and Zach together: Wonder Woman.
Brennan: I concur, vehemently
Zach: I will be the back end of a cow.
Hodgins: So no costume.
Zach: Naomi from Palentology has agreed to be my front.
Hodgins: So many jokes so little time.
The Intern in the Incinerator[3.6]
Aldridge: Why am I talking to you?
Brennan: What time did toi leave the Jeffersonian that night?
Aldridge: Shortly after 11. Dr. Brennan, surely I merit someone higher up on the nourriture chain that an FBI consultant.
Brennan: Kyle, I know toi get everything toi want par flaunting your superior intellect. But that won't work with me.
Aldridge: Why is that?
Brennan: Because I'm smarter than toi are.
The Boy in the Time Capsule[3.7]
Booth: There was this girl, Karen Highsley, and we were under the bleachers one night, personally, with me.
Brennan: Got it, toi were having sex, in the dirt under the bleachers.
Booth: Excuse me, I'm a gentleman, I brought my sleeping bag.
Brennan: Did toi fail to perform sexually?
Booth: What?
Brennan: Cause that might actually count as a humiliation. (starts to walk away)
Booth: (runs after her) Will toi just wait? Will toi just allow me to tell my story?
Brennan: FIne.
Booth: Thank you, alright. So this girl, she had this game, where she would ask me a question-
Brennan: What kind of question?
Booth: It doesn't matter, okay. So if I got the question wrong, I'd have to take off a piece of my clothing. So of course I knew all the answers, but I pretended that I didn't.
Brennan: So toi could take off your clothes.
Booth: Exactly. Now, my point is, I'm standing there, toi know, in my socks and my St. Christopher medal, she runs off. She runs off with the sleeping bag and all my clothes and I'm standing there starko.
Brennan: Well why would she do that?
Booth: Well, I suppose she heard I was under the bleachers with the week before.
Brennan: Okay, this is a story about sexual prowess, Booth, you're bragging!
Booth: (laughs) I had to run across the campus buck naked!
Brennan: You're laughing about it now! toi enjoyed displaying your penis, it showed alpha male mastery. (lowers her voice) Only one other person knew about Brainy Smurf; it was my mother.
Booth: Smurfette is a stupid, shallow smurf who only had her looks. Look...you're better than Smurfette, toi have your looks, and a whole lot more.
Brennan: toi did bring that for me. To charm me in case I didn't find your humiliation so impressive, but I did.
Booth: Aha, so, I did impress you.
Brennan: That's what impressive means, dummy.
The knight on the grid [3.8]
Booth: Hey, look, Bones, toi are gonna stay with a friend, check into a hotel, right?
Angela: She can stay with me.
Booth: Great.
Brennan: Thank you, no, why?
Cam: Mr. Kneecaps has your accueil address?
Brennan: I can't freak out everytime somebody googles me.
Booth: Cam, she goes nowhere alone.
Brennan: Cam, don't listen to him.
Booth: Cam, who are toi plus afraid of, me ou her?
Brennan: Booth-
Cam: Whoa! (holds up one hand to get them to stop) So this is what it's like to be a kindergarden teacher.
Santa in the slush[3.9]
Sweets: I don't understand, has there been some kind of crisis?
Brennan: Yes I have a crisis.
Booth: Bones it was just mistletoe.
Brennan: Not the kiss, that was nothing
Sweets: toi kissed?
Booth: Mistletoe.
Brennan: That's not the crisis.
Sweets: Was there tongue?
Booth: toi know what, get your own sex life.
Brennan: That has nothing to do with sex.
Booth: Nothing! It was...
Brennan: Completely sexless.
Sweets: I'm all ears.
Booth: Could toi just take your hat off there. (Sweets obeys)
Brennan: Booth, who is a very honest person, says that at this time of an deception is necessary for the happiness of little children.
Booth: I'm being misquoted
Sweets: Booth is absolutely right.
Booth: She got the jist.
Sweets: There is a fictional element to Christmas.
Brennan: toi mean the whole birth of a savior rigmarole?
Booth: It is not rigmarole!
Sweets: No Dr. Brennan it's the feeling of Christmas. What people call the Christmas spirit. It's a kind of dream ou hope we carry with us from childhood. But as adults...
Booth: Are toi including toi in that?
Sweets: As adults we're imbued par the pragmatic routines of daily life which make it difficult for us to regard anything with childlike wonder. But toi know it's alright for us to try. We put on silly hats, drape trees in sparkly lights and emballage, wrap gifts in garish paper and that's good for us. It's not only alright to allow children the transient experience of innocence and joy, it's our responsibility
Brennan: Okay.
Booth: Okay?
Brennan: I found that very helpful.
Booth: That's what I've been saying the last four days!
[Brennan is asking Caroline for a letter so her dad can have Christmas in a conjugal trailer]
Brennan: So will you?
Caroline: I will.
Brennan: toi will? Thank you!
Caroline: On one condition.
Brennan: Booth a dit you'd say that
.Caroline: Did he say I'd ask toi to Kiss him?
Brennan: (laughs) No. Are you?
Caroline: No cheeks, no noses, right on the lips.
Brennan: People Kiss people on the nose?
Caroline: I want toi to Kiss him under some mistletoe.
Brennan: Kiss Booth?
Caroline: That's right cherie.
Brennan: Why?
Caroline: Because it will amuse me.
Brennan: Why?
Caroline: Because you're all Dr. Brennan and Special Agent Seeley Booth and it's Christmas and I have a puckish side that will not be denied.
Brennan: Puckish?
Caroline: What's the matter, toi don't think I can be puckish?
Brennan: I never thought about it until now.
Caroline: toi want me to write that letter toi Kiss Booth on the lips for no less than one steamboat, two steamboat, five steamboats.
Brennan: That's blackmail!
Caroline: That's correct.
Brennan: That's unethical.
Caroline: That's the deal take it ou leave it.
The Man in the Mud [3.11]
Sheriff: (asking Booth)Is she serious?
Brennan: As serious as a gas attack.
Booth: (sighs)Heart attack, Bones. As serious as a cœur, coeur attack
Player under pressure[3.11]
Brennan: I've changed my mind, she is not a smart girl. This is a terrible university.
Brennan: I thought toi a dit toi were just going to talk to him!
Booth: Yeah, well I saw his face and I got mad.
Brennan: Is she crying because she loved him, ou because she Lost a mansion?
Booth: (mouths) The mansion.
The Baby in the Bough[3.12]
Brennan: Elephants are not purple. This is wrong.
Booth: He looks a little fussy there why don't toi pick him up and give him a cuddle.
Brennan: Just because I have breasts doesn't mean I have magical powers over infants!
Sheriff: There's not even a scratch on the boy. It's a miracle.
Brennan: Well hardly. Car seats are specifically engineered to protect the child.
Booth: From what? Flying out of the back of the car and landing in a tree?
Brennan: Stronchium is an element found in most rocks.
Hodgins: Human beings absorb it through the consumpion of local vegetation and water. Over time the isotope collects in the Bones meaning --
Booth: toi could use it to figue out where someone's from. (Brennan and Hodgins both look at him, shocked) That is right people I am a constant suprise.
Booth: Looks like our little guy's gonna be just fine. (Bones looks at him)
Booth: The little guy.
Bones: Andy.
Booth: Andy's gonna be just fine
Brennan: (Pointing at Andy) salut look at that he flipped over!
The verdict in the story[3.13]
Sweets: Dr. Brennan everyone toi work with, including your therapist ...
Booth: Former therapist.
Sweets: ... is endevoring to imprison your father. That's wicked stressful.
Brennan: Booth is right. It doesn't bother me.
Sweets: No, Booth is wrong. Yes, it does.
Angela: All of us together and Brennan alone.
Zack: Not alone. (looking towards Brennan, Clark and Barron) She's with those African American people.
Booth: Bones was with me all day.
David Barron: She didn't have time to commit this murder?
Booth: No she did not.
David Barron: How did your son Parker get accueil from school that day?
Booth: ... 45 minutes we were apart, but we were on the phone.
David Barron: Plenty of time, wasn't it Agent Booth? Dr. Brennan could have burned the body hours later when toi were sûr, sans danger at home. (Booth says nothing)
'Judge Haddoes: The witness will answer the question.
Booth: (whispering) That's not heart, Bones.
Booth: Tell toi what, why don't we make a deal where we allow him to study us and in return he gives us psychological profiling on demand.
Sweets: Okay.
Brennan: No, toi like that sort of thing, but I don't see the point.
Booth: I just think that he doesn't want to admit that he likes us.
Brennan: Do toi liiike us?
Sweets: What?
Booth: And he wants to spend time with us.
Brennan: Is that true Sweets? toi like us?
Sweets: No.
Booth: He wants to spend time with us.
Booth and Brennan: (sing-song) He really likes us.
Sweets: Alright, toi know what, I'm sorry I made the offer, I take it back, forget it. (walks off)
Booth: Could Bones have killed Kirby? ... Temperance Brennan, I've worked with this woman, I've stood over death with her, I've faced death down with her. Sweets is brilliant - he is, but he's wrong. ... She could not have done this.
Wannabe in the Weeds[3.14]
Bones: The guitare string could definitely be the murder weapon.
Booth: Cause it cut the cheese?
Bones: Does Tommy share your affection?
Pam: Why do toi ask it like that? Because I don't look like a scarecrow? (to Booth) Like her?
Bones: Hey. Wha- what are toi coming after me for? (to Booth) Do- do I look like a scarecrow?
Brennan: Until I was thirteen I wanted to be the suivant Cyndi Lauper.
Booth: I'd say your kidding but I don't think toi know how to kid.
Brennan: The other girls and I referred to her as rad (laughs) My mother a dit I sang just as well. Booth: As well as Cyndi Lauper?
Brennan: Yes.
Sweets: Mothers do that. It's healthy.
Brennan: No it wasn't just flattery. My mother told me I sang "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" better than she did. (Booth Laughs)
Sweets: It was an expression of affection Dr. Brennan. Not an objective evaluation of your abilities.
Brennan: Well, I think you're wrong.
Booth: Okay then, go ahead, ceinture it out.
Brennan: No!
Sweets: Yeah, come on give us a few bars.
Booth: Come on ...
Brennan: I can't just burst into song. I have to have musique and an appropriate atmosphere of frivolity.
Booth: Diva, forensic genius, best-selling author, beter than Cyndi Lauper ...
Sweets: Mocking will not change my opinion. I have been mocked many, many times before. (Booth and Bones exchange a look)
Sweets: That came out wrong.
Zack: My regimen is easily completed in my apartment. Treadmill for 30 minutes, 100 sit-ups, push-ups and leg-lifts, and then 20 minutes of free weights. I'm deceptively strong.
Cam: I am deceived!
Bones: Hey! Break down the door!
Booth: It hurts my shoulder when I break down the door!
The pain in the Heart[3.15]
Angela: Look, I know how toi see things, and I respect that. But, I need to ask toi a favor. I have to go to the funeral. I'm not going to be able to get through this alone. I've been crying for like, days. I really need toi shoulder here. I need my best friend.
Brennan: That woman was aiming at me. I would have happily taken that bullet.
(Brennan hits man at funeral with fake arm)
Booth: Bones! Nice shot! ...What?
(Brennan angrily storms up and punches Booth too)
Brennan: I knew I shouldn't have gone to that funeral, it was a complete waste of time just like I said.
Booth: Wait a second, toi thought that my funeral was a waste of time?
Cam: I thought it was a lovely service Booth.
Booth: Thank you! toi know, I expected to see plus people though...
Hodgins: I always imagined a lot of ex-girlfriends crying.
Booth: Yeah, me too.
Angela: toi guys are pathetic.
Brennan: (to Booth) Just know, I won’t be attending your suivant funeral.
Booth: Bones, I'm telling you, toi were supposed to know that I wasn't really dead, I swear! That's why I thought toi weren't crying!
Zack: Is it a cake ou is it a pickle?
Hodgins: It’s Schroedinger’s Cat.
Zack: That makes sense to me. Cakes and pickles mean nothing to me.
(Brennan walks in on Booth in the tub)
Brennan: I need to talk to you!
Booth: Ok what the hell Bones, I'm in my house, in my bathroom, in my bathtub! How the hell did toi get in here anyway?
Brennan: Well that fake rock par your front door wouldn't fool anybody. Why are toi wearing a hat that dispenses beer?
Booth: Hot tub plus cold bière equals warm beer. Hat equals solution. But why are you-
Brennan: And that cigar? Very unhealthy.
Booth: Ok, what the hell do toi want now Bones, 'cause I'm not really feeling too relaxed.
Brennan: toi should have told me that toi weren't dead.
Booth: I already explained this to you. The bureau has to vet everyone when there is a security issue. I was just following protocol!
Brennan: Protocol?!
Booth: Yes!
Brennan: We've been partners for three years Booth, and you've broken protocol before! Sometimes putting my life in danger, which makes sense because toi clearly don't have any real concern for me.
Booth: (standing up) I took a bullet for you!
Brennan: Once! That only goes so far! (pause) Would toi like a towel?
Booth: Fine. What is it I should've done Bones? What did toi want me to do?
Brennan: Well toi could have called me. Did toi really think I needed to be vetted par your boss? I mean don't toi trust me?
Booth: Of course I do.
Brennan: Then why wasn't I told, it must have been something that toi said.
Booth: No, I don't know why toi weren't told.
Brennan: But toi a dit that I should be. Aren't toi curious why I wasn't?
Booth: Yes, do toi want me to find out why toi weren't told?
Brennan: If it's important to you.
Booth: Fine. I will. suivant time I die, I promise that I will tell you.
Brennan: I'll look vers l'avant, vers l’avant to that.
Booth: Me too. (opens comic book)
Brennan: What are toi reading?
Booth: A novel. (pause) It's a graphic novel.
Brennan: Just so toi know, I find your lack of Puritan modesty very refreshing.
Cam: A toothless cannibal just can’t cut it in today’s competitive serial killer climate.
Sweets: I think it’s interesting psychologically how Agent Booth’s constant efforts to persuade toi to enjoy fruit pie could be interpreted as a type of seduction.
Brennan: It’s Zack. He’s the killer, Booth. It’s Zack.
Brennan: (to Zack) All of your assumptions are built upon a first principle, Zack. To wit, the historical human experience as a whole is plus important than a single person's life.
Zack: Yes.
Brennan: Yet toi risked it all so toi wouldn't hurt Hodgins.
(Upon realizing that all of Zack's favori things were donné to him par his friends)
Brennan: I never gave him anything. (Booth finds and reads to her Zack's letter of acceptance to be Brennan's grad student, which was with his things)
Booth: I think toi gave him something pretty great.
