aléatoire Club
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posted by IsabellaMCullen
I didn't make this, I just found it...


1.Stick your open palm under the stall mur and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"

2.Say, "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that."

3.Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.

4.Say, "Damn, this water's cold."

5.Drop a marble and say, "Oh shit! My glass eye!"

6.Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."

7.Grunt and strain real loud for 30 secondes and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a height of 6 feet. Sigh relaxingly.

8.Say, "Now how did that get there?"

9.Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."

10.Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!"

11.Say, "Interesting... plus floaters than sinkers."

12.Using a small squeeze tube, spread cacahuète, arachide beurre on a wad of toilet paper and drop the wad under the stall mur of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, could toi kick that back over here please?"

13.Say, "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me."

14.Fill a balloon with creamed corn. Rush into the stall with your hand over your mouth and let out a lengthy vomit impression while toi squeeze the balloon and splatter cream blé, maïs all about. Apologize profusely and blame it on the restaurant's coffee toi had for breakfast.

15.Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot."

16.Say, "Damn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?"

17.Play a well known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks.

18.Before toi unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your "Cross-Dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall.

19.Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall, adjust it so toi can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"

20.Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall mur and sing "Born Free".

21.Come out of the stall with wet hands.

22.Pour water in a constant stream on the floor and say, 'Darn, I almost made it!'

23.Wash toi hair and dry it in the hand dryer.

24.Wear paper towels wrapped around your head and pretend you're Erykah Badu.

25.Write on the mur of a women's bathroom 'Tom was here.' 'In the men's bathroom write 'Michael Jackson was here.'

26.Ask a person in the stall suivant to toi for a tampon.

27.Roll a roll of toilet paper all the way down the row of stalls.

28.For a woman, stand in front of the toilet. For men, sit down in the stall and pee.

29.Scream 'Ohh it burns!' as toi use the bathroom.

30.Lock the door from the inside, sound frustrated that toi can't get out, then crawl under the door, getting as dirty as possible and complain to the manager that the door is faulty.

31.Introduce yourself to the guy at the suivant urinal.

32.Turn the light off while stalls are occupied.

33.Stick your head over an occupied stall and ask for the time.

34.Tell people that they're on TV. Point to some aléatoire spot on the far mur and ask them to "smile for the camera".

35.Lie down across all the sinks and pretend to be passed out.

36.Use a stopwatch to time people going to the bathroom. Cheer them on to encourage good performance.

37.Hold your hand in front of a hand dryer while someone's using it.

38.Pour a bucket of water over an occupied stall.

39.Grab someone's cul, ass really hard while they're using a urinal, and see how far toi can get before they catch you.

40.Guard the paper towel dispenser in the name of the Earth Liberation Front.

41.Say to the guy at the suivant urinal: "This is the best part about being gay."

42.Say, "Huh, that's funny. I don't remember eating asparagus."

43.Turn off the faucet while someone's washing their hands. Repeat.

44.Pee on someone's leg and tell them it's raining.

45.Offer to blow-dry other people's hands with your mouth to save energy.

46.Point at someone's crotch while they're using a urinal and yell, "Ha ha, your fly is down!"

47.Put on a hand puppet montrer underneath the stall suivant to you.

48.Complain about the size of your penis.

49.While inside the bathroom, ask where the nearest bathroom is. After you've received a puzzled look ou response, reply, "I'm not looking for a toilet, toi moron, I'm looking for a bathroom. Haven't toi ever taken a bath? Apparently not. No wonder it smells like shit in here."

50.Demand to know where the glory holes are.

51.Walk up behind someone who's using a urinal and emballage, wrap his head in toilet paper.

52.Ask a friend to help toi stage a live audio performance of a violent mugging for your unwitting audience inside the stalls. Make sure the final line of dialogue is, "You come out of there and I'll blow your fucking head off."

53.Inside a stall, pretend to be talking to a young child, "That's right Johnny, remember what I told toi about unzipping your fly? Oh, now look what toi did!" Then slap your hands twice and make crying noises.

54.Hang a realistic dummy from a noose inside one of the stalls as a wacky surprise for the suivant visitor.

55.Knock on the stall suivant to toi and say, "Do toi have enough toilet paper in there? I got plenty if toi need some."

56.Put up a sign above the sink that says "Did toi remember to wipe?"

57.In a restaurant, put up a sign that says, "This is the legally required 'Employees must wash hands' sign which we disregard on a daily basis."

58.Put up a sign that says "Caution: please do not use toilets."

59.Fill the liquid soap containers with motor oil.

60.Have (mobile) phone sex while standing at a urinal.

61.Flash people standing just outside the bathroom door. Tell them that you've finally "found the loophole".

62.Pump soap for people, give out paper towels, and demand tips.

63.Wear a camera around your neck and offer to take people's photos for money.

64.When the bathroom is empty, get down on your hands and knees and hold your face over one of the urinals. Wait in that position until someone enters the bathroom. Act as if you're embarrassed to be caught.

65.Whisper, "Now spread your legs, honey. Oh yeah, that's it."

66.Drop a small, unclothed, plastic baby doll in a toilet, along with an ample supply of red nourriture coloring.

67.Identify people who have not washed their hands. Follow them out of the bathroom and publicly announce this fact.

68.Congratulate yourself aloud on a job well done.

69.Put Vaseline on the toilet seats

70.Provide 'strenuous' sound-effects.

71.Ask the person in the suivant stall if there's
anything swimming in THEIR bowl.....

72.Scream " Oh my GOD! What the hell is THAT?"

73.Pretend to fall in, complete with sound effects.

74.Knock on the doors of occupied stalls and ask if there is anyone in there. If so, ask if they are busy....

75.Kick in stall doors, camera in hand.

76.Fake an orgasm.

77.Collect a door charge.

78.Put cling-film (Glad Wrap) over the toilet bowl.

79.Replace rolls of toilet paper with rolls of sand paper.

80.Remove stall doors.

81.Place signs warning of 24 heure video surveillance.

82.Make stall doors lockable only from the OUTSIDE.

83.Put itching powder on the toilet seats.

84.Leave a fried egg floating in the bowl.

85.Replace soap in dispenser with custard.

86.Replace condoms in vending machine with tampons (or vice versa).

87.When you're in a bathroom stall take a Snickers Candy bar with toi and when someone is suivant to you, squish it in your hand and reach under the stall mur and say "You got any plus toilet paper over there, This side's completely out."

88.Roll Easter Eggs under the doors.

89.Start a sing-a-long.

90.Act schizophrenically.

91.Masquerade as a door-to-door salesman.

92.Ask loudly "When does the movie start?"

93.Run around naked yelling "Where's the fish?"

94.Ask whether anyone can see your pet sewer rat/river python

95.Offer refreshments.

96.Run in, yelling "Free Willy!"

97.Bring a bottle of fake blood ou ketchup with you, and while in the stall, in a loud, demonical voice, exclaim "Satan demands a sacrifice... A SACRIFICE!" Start making groaning sounds and let loose a blood curling scream. Then let the blood/ketchup flow on the floor for everyone to see.

98.Look over the edge to the person at the urinal suivant to you, giggle, and then return to your side, whistling the tune "It's a Small World After All."

99.Have a seizure. Bang against the walls of the stall really hard. Try to knock them down. If anyone later asks if toi are okay, just say that toi had some Mexican Jumping Fava Beans and they were reacting negatively with your stomach.

100.Walk in a man. Come out a woman. Complain that there are men in the bathroom.

101.Wet your head, and then sneak into a toilet stall. Flush the bowl and wait a minute. Walk out of the stall lurching, complaining about how dizzy toi are.
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ENRIQUE IGLESIAS


"Tonight (I'm Lovin' You)"
(feat. Ludacris & DJ Frank E)

I know toi want me
I made it obvious that I want toi too
So put it on me
Let's remove the l’espace between me and you
Now rock your body
Damn I like the way that toi move
So give it to me, oh oooohh...
Cause I already know what toi wanna do

Here's the situation
Been to every nation
Nobody's ever made me feel the way that toi do
You know my motivation
Given my reputation
Please excuse me I don't mean to be rude

But tonight I'm loving you
Oh toi know
That tonight I'm loving you
Oh toi know
That tonight I'm loving you
Oh toi know
That tonight...
continue reading...
posted by nymph_tonks
Stranger: hi


You: hi asl


Stranger: 20 m


Stranger: u?


You: 15 female


Stranger: nice to meet you!


You: GO GO POWER RANGERS!


Stranger: yeah!


Stranger: what are toi up to?


You: ther was this lady earlier who told me i shouldnt be on the internet at 15.


Stranger: lol


Stranger: and where should u be?


You: probably outside ithout any camelote, indésirable nourriture ou soda


Stranger: fair enough


You: i would survive.


Stranger: do u like talking to strangers?


You: online, through text.


Stranger: where r u from?


Stranger: I am from UK btw


You: im from the us.


Stranger: nice


You: im bored


Stranger: oh...and I am italian


Stranger: we could do something...
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1. Everytime your reach a new floor, scream "Glory hallelujah! We will reach the promised land!!!"

2. Interrogate people as if toi worked for the FBI.

3. Make wild turkey noises and when people tell toi to stop, say "You have no respect for animal rights, do you?"

4. Sing your favori song and when people get annoyed, sing louder.

5. Follow aléatoire people off and tell them what to buy every minute ou so. If toi get in trouble, say toi were helping the person make educated choices.

6. Press every button, and try and get off, then, speak into your collier and say, "Houston, we have a problem, floor#__...
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posted by invadercalliope
I hope toi enjoy.
◦Aizen-sama fears nothing. That's why we bow before him. For us, a man afraid of nothing shines like the moon before us.
Aisuringa (Bleach)

◦From this point on, all toi opinions will be rejected!.
Kurosaki Ichigo (Bleach)

◦Remember this well. There are two types of fights. As we have put our lives in battle, we must be able to distinguish between the two. The fight to protect life, and the fight to protect pride.
Ukitake Jushiro (Bleach)

◦Well can't toi see, the resolve to cut toi reflected in my sword?.
Urahara Kisuke (Bleach)

◦If i were the rain that bind together the...
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Some of toi girls will remember that on Wednesday i told toi that Miley's parents were getting a divorce.

According to the celeb news source HollywoodLife.com, Miley was so devastated par her parents Tish and Billy rayon, ray Cyrus‘ divorce that she got back together with Liam Hemsworth.

“Miley knew about the divorce awhile il y a and she’s been taking it really hard. Pretty much at the same time, she broke up with Liam, Hannah Montana was ending and then her parents’ marriage was falling apart,” Miley’s friend says.

“She got super stressed out and that’s really when she started jouer la comédie out...
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DO toi wanna know reasons why Alice Cullen is better then any werewolf out there ( espeshally Leah Clearwater)???? Well read on to see 10 reasons why.............



Oh ya if your a Leah Clearwater fan then toi might not wanna read this but if toi do and it affends toi then leave a commentaire and i can tell toi in person why your sooo stupid and ya i worned toi so..................

TEN REASONS WHY ALICE IS BETTER THEN LEAH!!!

1. Alice is acually nice unlike Leah who made Bella cry for no reason at all ( Breaking Dawn)

2. Leah doesn't care about other people she only cares about herself well Alice does...
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added by 3xZ
added by Rodz
Source: desktopnexus
added by Basant_pandit
Source: Basant pandit
added by Jet-Black
posted by TimberHumphrey
25 years and my life is still
Tryin' to get up that great big colline of hope
For a destination

I realized quickly when I knew I should
That the world was made up of this brotherhood of man
For whatever that means

And so I cry sometimes when I'm lying in bed
Just to get it all out what's in my head
And I, I am feeling a little peculiar

And so I wake in the morning and I step outside
And I take a deep breath and I get real high
And I scream from the haut, retour au début of my lungs
"What's going on?"

And I say, hey-ey-ey
Hey-ey-ey
I a dit "Hey, a-what's going on?"
And I say, hey-ey-ey
Hey-ey-ey
I a dit "Hey, a-what's going on?"

Ooh,...
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posted by TimberHumphrey
On a cobweb afternoon
In a room full of emptiness
By a freeway I confess
I was Lost in the pages
Of a book full of death
Reading how we'll die alone
And if we're good, we'll lay to rest
Anywhere we wanna go

In your house I long to be
Room par room patiently
I'll wait for toi there
Like a stone
I'll wait for toi there
Alone

On my deathbed I will pray
To the gods and the angels
Like a pagan to anyone
Who will take me to heaven
To a place I recall
I was there so long ago
The sky was bruised
The wine was bled
And there toi led me on

In your house I long to be
Room par room patiently
I'll wait for toi there
Like a stone
I'll...
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added by Bisexualnerd22
I am so sick and tired of people not trying to understand another person's plight. I am so tired of people not having solidarity when many groups have gone through horrific things. This world is divided par many factors. Sexism,racism,homophobia,transphobia,classism and I can continue to go on and on. But whenever someone tells someone else who has not experienced a dit issue. Sometimes the reaction is: "I don't believe you." "I haven't seen it so it doesn't happen" "All (insert any group that has received the short end of the stick on any occasion) are moronic and they don't realize what a great...
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Guys, I’m about to give a hot take for toi all…. I do not care for PaRappa the Rapper on Playstation 1. Now I am fully aware that is a crime against humanity, but I do like aspects of it. I l’amour the style of it for a PS1 game, I enjoy the character designs, and I think the musique is pretty funky. But a lot of my problems with the game are from the gameplay feeling pretty rough and unfair at times. There are many times where I am pretty sure I hit the button at the right time, and not only does it sound awkward coming out of PaRappa as delayed as it sounds, but the game still counts it as...
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