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posted by XxLalasaysxX
Here are my liste of corny jokes. Now i'm just gonna let toi know now i got alot of these from the Youtube channel, vlogbrothers. So check them out too. Prepare to laugh.
(Make sure your not drinking anything ou eating anything toi might spit it ou something.)

#1 How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank coffee before it was cool.

#2 Why are celsius and farenheit friends?
Because they're fair-in-height. (I came up with that one :)

#3 Why was the balai, genêt à balais late to work?
It overswept!

#4 Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the baie they'd be bagels.

#5 What's Michelle Obama's favori vegetable?
Barackoli (broccoli)

#6 Why does the champignon have so many friends?
Because he's a fungi! (Fun guy)

#7 What do toi call a fake noodle?
An impasta! (Imposter)

#8 How often do i make chemistry jokes?
Periodically.

#9 What do toi call a pencil without lead?
Pointless!

#10 How do toi make an octopus giggle ten times?
toi give him ten-tickles (tenticles)

#11 How do toi make lady gaga cry?
Poker face!

#12 What did Beethoven become when he died?
A decomposer!

#13 What's a chicken's favori composer?
Bach!

#14 What did one eye say to the other eye?
"Between toi and me man, something smells." (Your nose)

#15 What did the stamp say to the envelope?
"Stick with me man, we'll go places."

#16 What did the hat say to the hatrack?
"Stay here, I'll go on a-head."

#17 Why can't toi hear a pteradactyl use the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent (the letter p in the name is silent)

#18 Why did the little boy eat his homework?
The teacher a dit it was a piece of cake.

#19 Why did the tomate blush?
It saw the salade dressing.

#20 What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
"Ruff!" (Rough)

#21 Why did the man send his phone to school?
He wanted a smartphone (i came up with that one too :)

#22 How do crazy people go through a forest?
They take the psycho path.

#23 How do toi know if it's raining chats and dogs?
toi step in a poodle (puddle)

#24 How do toi know if a clock is wise?
It goes clockwise (i thought of that)

#25 How do toi get Pikachu on a bus?
toi Pokémon (pok 'em on)

#26 Why can't toi dress with Pikachu in the room?
He'll Pikachu (peek at you)

#27 What do toi call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese (so old right?)

#28 How do get holy water?
toi boil the hell out of it!

#29 What starts with "E" ends with "E" but only has one letter in it?
An envelope, duh xD

#30 Why didn't the skeleton traverser, croix the road?
He didn't have the guts to.

#31 What did the ghost say to scare the bees?
"BOOOOBEEES!" XD (please don't yell that if your parents are home)

#32 What does an angry pepper do?
It gets jalepeño face! (All up in yo face)

#33 What do toi call an alligator in a vest?
An in- vest-igator investigator

#34 What's rose and fluffy?
rose fluff
#34.5 what's blue and fluffy? (Think about it)
rose fluff holding it's breath.

#35 What happens when toi drink 7 coca colas?
toi burp 7up

#36 Why can't your nose ever be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot.

#37 why does snoop dog carry an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle!

#38 Why was the police man in bed?
He was undercover.

#39 what did one light bulb say to another light bulb?
"Watts up?" (You know li,e the watts that are in a light bulb?)

#40 what did the poisson say when he hit a concrete wall?
"Dam!"
LAST ONE!

#41 Why can't toi trust lions?
They be lion to you! (Lying)

Alright so those are my corny jokes. Hope toi liked them. Make sure toi check out vlogbrothers they're really cool. Ciao! And rememeber...
 PewDiePie
PewDiePie
It’s just toi and me and there’s no one around
Feel like I’m hanging par a thread, it’s a long way down
I’ve been trying to breathe but I’m fighting for air
I’m at an all time low with no place to go
But you’re always there

When everything falls apart
And it seems like the world is crashing at my feet
You like me the best when I’m a mess
When I’m my own worst enemy

You make me feel beautiful
When I have nothing left to prove
And I can’t imagine how I’d make it through
There’s no me without you
No me without you, no, no

You hear what I say when I don’t say a word
You are my rising...
continue reading...
I don’t wanna feel like this
I don’t want to
I don’t want to
I don’t wanna freak toi out
But I
I think I might of a dit too much
Didn’t mean to
Didn’t mean to
Think I might of a dit it’s toi and I

Guess I should leave this behind
Guess I should erase and rewind
But somehow I can’t seem to stay away
I don’t want to sound desperate but I am
And so say that you’ll come around
Guess I should erase and rewind, erase and rewind

I don’t want to stand in line
Like I used to
Like I used to
I don’t want to have to scream and shout
‘Cause I’m the kind of girl that sticks
Like a tattoo
Like a tattoo...
continue reading...
It’s in your eyes, feeling’s can’t be disguised
‘Cause the truth makes me want toi to tell me lies
My biggest fear is crying oceans of tears
I would rather toi not be so sincere

How cold could toi be
What would toi do if toi were me
I’m better off if it’s a mystery

‘Cause I don’t wanna know
If I kissed your lips for the last time
Please don’t say if it’s so
Tell my cœur, coeur it’s not goodbye
And do this one thing for me
Make up some stupid story tonight
It’s alright, keep the truth and tell me lies

Something’s not right, l’amour is nowhere in sight
I’m not ready to let go, it’s not...
continue reading...
toi told me
There’s no need
To talk it out
‘Cause it’s too late
To proceed
And slowly
I took your words
And walked away

No looking back
I won’t regret, no
I will find my way
I’m broken
But still I have to say

It’s alright, ok
I’m so much better without you
I won’t be sorry
Alright, ok
So don’t toi bother what I do
No matter what toi say
I won’t return
Our bridge has burned down
I’m stronger now
Alright, ok
I’m so much better without you
I won’t be sorry

You played me
Betrayed me
Your l’amour was nothing but a game
Portray a role
You took control, I
I couldn’t help but fall
So deep
But now I see things...
continue reading...
Up above the surface I was just a perfect child
But underneath it all I was crazing to be wild
Don’t toi judge par the cover it’s so far from what toi see
I’m losing all my patience waiting on toi to believe
I’m suffocating, I can’t breathe

Let me out this cage, I’m not gonna hold back
I’m a break these chains, I’m taking control now
Gonna give toi something to talk about
It’s another side of me
I’m jouer la comédie out

Set me free, I’m ready to montrer you
This is what I need, it’s time to get dirty
I’m a montrer what I’m talking about
It’s another side of me
I’m jouer la comédie out

Welcome to a new...
continue reading...
Suddenly I, am in front of the lights
Everything, I’m feeling
Scary and beautiful at the same time
And every day, I try just to breathe
I want to montrer the whole world
The truth inside of me
Suddenly people know my name
Suddenly everything has changed
Suddenly I feel so alive
In the blink of an eye
My dreams begin to rain
Suddenly time, it feels like the wind
It changes everywhere I go
I’m just trying to fit in
Now here I stand
And I’m still just that girl
I’m following my heart
In this amazing crazy world
Suddenly people know my name
Suddenly everything has changed
Suddenly I feel so alive
In the blink...
continue reading...
Zoom zoom in under my skin
Gotta slow down now to begin
Baby don’t rush toi can look but don’t touch
You think u know
When u see me in my videos
How the story goes
But that’s just the side that I expose
Look through the lens
You see my body, not who I am
So don’t pretend
And try to act like you’re my boyfriend
U wanna get somewhere
Then boy don’t touch me there
Just get up close and personal, personal
Zoom zoom in under my skin
Gotta slow down now to begin
Baby don’t rush toi can look but don’t touch
Zoom zoom
In to my head
Gotta know me to be my man
Boy prove you’re in love
You can look but don’t...
continue reading...
If ya got the time I’ll take it
If ya got the vibe we’ll make it
I’ll do that I’ll do that
If toi wanna dance let’s déplacer it
If toi wanna play let’s play it
I’ll do that I’ll do that
And I get on up
And I get on down
And I play the fool when I act the clown
You know that I’d do anything for you
If toi want the world toi got it
If toi want the girl toi got it
I’ll do that baby
I’ll do that
So much for you
If toi want it all toi got it
Can toi hear me call toi got it
I’ll do that baby
I’ll do that
So much for you
So much for you
So much for you
If ya got the game let’s win it
If ya got the...
continue reading...
posted by -Yusha-
Death came to a guy and said: "My friend today is your day."

Guy:"But I'm not ready!"
Then death said,"well your name is the suivant on my list".

Guy:"Okay why don't toi take a siège and I will get toi something to eat before we go?".

Then death said,"all right"
The guy gave death some nourriture with sleeping pills in it, death finished eating and fell into a deep sleep.

The guy took the liste and removed his name from the haut, retour au début of the liste and put it at the bottom of the list.

When death woke up he a dit to the guy, "Because toi have been so nice to me, I will start from the BOTTOM of the liste ..."

Moral of the story: - Whatever is written in your destiny ... Will never change no matter how much toi try!!
posted by invadercalliope
I wanna be the very best

Like no one ever was

To catch them is my real test

To train them is my cause

I will travel across the land

Searching far and wide

Teach Pokemon to understand

The power that's inside

Pokemon!

Gotta catch 'em all--

It's toi and me

I know it's my destiny

Pokemon!

Ooooh, you're my best friend

In a world we must defend

Pokemon!

Gotta catch 'em all--

Our hearts so true

Our courage will pull us through

You teach me and I'll teach you

Pokemon!

Gotta catch 'em all!

Gotta catch 'em all!

Yeeaa.

Every challenge along the way

With courage I can face



To claim my rightful place

Come with me the time is right...
continue reading...
posted by jessicamc26
A stoner called the feu department and said, "Come quick my house is on fire!" The Fireman asked "How do we get there?" The stoner says "DUH, the big red truck!"






HAHAHAHAHHA
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THIS IS FUNNY
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HAHAHAHAHAA
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THIS IS FUNNY

THIS IS FUNNYAHAHAHAHHA
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THIS IS FUNNY

THIS IS FUNNYAHAHAHAHAHA
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THIS IS FUNNY

THIS IS FUNNY
THIS IS FUNNY
HAHAHAHAHHA
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THIS IS FUNNY

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THIS IS FUNNY
posted by sapherequeen
 :)
:)
I just want to take the time to thank everyone here who has known me, been on my side, is a fan of me, cares about me, etc. :)

I appreciate every single person here, and despite my being very moody at times, I will always care for those who feel the same towards me :D

I noticed that I've been very...unpleasant on fanpop towards some people, and I apologize for that. All I could say was that I was in the Darkest Time of my life, and it consumed me entirely. But now, that will change >:)

I am me again. I l’amour and respect those who have always been there for me, were kind to me, are my fans, and appreciate each and every one of toi for the rest of my life :)

I l’amour toi all! Have a beautiful, wonderful jour :D
 -LOL!-
-LOL!-
posted by KatiiCullen94
dear Alice.
i don't know why i say alice anymore, i think now i write these emails to myself, to secure me that toi were real, that toi all were , that he was.
There is evidence that toi were here. and was my best friend. But sometimes i dont know wheither i was dreaming ou not, But i stop that thought to think again, if it was a dream and toi diddnt exist,then how did i know your name, ou did i make toi up, along with every one else. Maybe i'm going crazy, from without toi i dont know. But i want to find out. Do toi think a crazy person can be the one to digiosed themselves?? Lets hope for...
continue reading...
posted by twilight0girl
link

Nathan:
Dear Marni,
I am so sorry.
Can toi forgive me for this?

Rotti:
Not the debt doctor
With the hungry scalpel!
Here's my prognosis:
Will they live...?

Hench Girls:
Doubtful.

Luigi:
Your the rue physician
carving flesh sculptures!

Pavi:
Paint your cul, ass like rembrandt!
Ha! toi Like-a that?!

Rotti:
Better start praying when toi see him coming.

Luigi:
cause tonight its curtains!

Luigi, Pavi and Rotti:
Youre the night surgeon!

Chorus:
Remember who toi are.

Nathan:
I remember...

Genterns:
Remember what toi did to Marni.

Chorus:
Remember who toi are.

Nathan:
I remember...

Genterns:
Remember...
continue reading...
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Legal and Media analyst Lionel of Lionel Media joins Steve Malzberg (in for Scottie Nell Hughes) to discuss new claims of copyright, intellectual property and so-called hate speech in controlling communication on social media platforms
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