Here are my liste of corny jokes. Now i'm just gonna let toi know now i got alot of these from the Youtube channel, vlogbrothers. So check them out too. Prepare to laugh.
(Make sure your not drinking anything ou eating anything toi might spit it ou something.)
#1 How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank coffee before it was cool.
#2 Why are celsius and farenheit friends?
Because they're fair-in-height. (I came up with that one :)
#3 Why was the balai, genêt à balais late to work?
It overswept!
#4 Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the baie they'd be bagels.
#5 What's Michelle Obama's favori vegetable?
Barackoli (broccoli)
#6 Why does the champignon have so many friends?
Because he's a fungi! (Fun guy)
#7 What do toi call a fake noodle?
An impasta! (Imposter)
#8 How often do i make chemistry jokes?
Periodically.
#9 What do toi call a pencil without lead?
Pointless!
#10 How do toi make an octopus giggle ten times?
toi give him ten-tickles (tenticles)
#11 How do toi make lady gaga cry?
Poker face!
#12 What did Beethoven become when he died?
A decomposer!
#13 What's a chicken's favori composer?
Bach!
#14 What did one eye say to the other eye?
"Between toi and me man, something smells." (Your nose)
#15 What did the stamp say to the envelope?
"Stick with me man, we'll go places."
#16 What did the hat say to the hatrack?
"Stay here, I'll go on a-head."
#17 Why can't toi hear a pteradactyl use the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent (the letter p in the name is silent)
#18 Why did the little boy eat his homework?
The teacher a dit it was a piece of cake.
#19 Why did the tomate blush?
It saw the salade dressing.
#20 What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
"Ruff!" (Rough)
#21 Why did the man send his phone to school?
He wanted a smartphone (i came up with that one too :)
#22 How do crazy people go through a forest?
They take the psycho path.
#23 How do toi know if it's raining chats and dogs?
toi step in a poodle (puddle)
#24 How do toi know if a clock is wise?
It goes clockwise (i thought of that)
#25 How do toi get Pikachu on a bus?
toi Pokémon (pok 'em on)
#26 Why can't toi dress with Pikachu in the room?
He'll Pikachu (peek at you)
#27 What do toi call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese (so old right?)
#28 How do get holy water?
toi boil the hell out of it!
#29 What starts with "E" ends with "E" but only has one letter in it?
An envelope, duh xD
#30 Why didn't the skeleton traverser, croix the road?
He didn't have the guts to.
#31 What did the ghost say to scare the bees?
"BOOOOBEEES!" XD (please don't yell that if your parents are home)
#32 What does an angry pepper do?
It gets jalepeño face! (All up in yo face)
#33 What do toi call an alligator in a vest?
An in- vest-igator investigator
#34 What's rose and fluffy?
rose fluff
#34.5 what's blue and fluffy? (Think about it)
rose fluff holding it's breath.
#35 What happens when toi drink 7 coca colas?
toi burp 7up
#36 Why can't your nose ever be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot.
#37 why does snoop dog carry an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle!
#38 Why was the police man in bed?
He was undercover.
#39 what did one light bulb say to another light bulb?
"Watts up?" (You know li,e the watts that are in a light bulb?)
#40 what did the poisson say when he hit a concrete wall?
"Dam!"
LAST ONE!
#41 Why can't toi trust lions?
They be lion to you! (Lying)
Alright so those are my corny jokes. Hope toi liked them. Make sure toi check out vlogbrothers they're really cool. Ciao! And rememeber...
(Make sure your not drinking anything ou eating anything toi might spit it ou something.)
#1 How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank coffee before it was cool.
#2 Why are celsius and farenheit friends?
Because they're fair-in-height. (I came up with that one :)
#3 Why was the balai, genêt à balais late to work?
It overswept!
#4 Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the baie they'd be bagels.
#5 What's Michelle Obama's favori vegetable?
Barackoli (broccoli)
#6 Why does the champignon have so many friends?
Because he's a fungi! (Fun guy)
#7 What do toi call a fake noodle?
An impasta! (Imposter)
#8 How often do i make chemistry jokes?
Periodically.
#9 What do toi call a pencil without lead?
Pointless!
#10 How do toi make an octopus giggle ten times?
toi give him ten-tickles (tenticles)
#11 How do toi make lady gaga cry?
Poker face!
#12 What did Beethoven become when he died?
A decomposer!
#13 What's a chicken's favori composer?
Bach!
#14 What did one eye say to the other eye?
"Between toi and me man, something smells." (Your nose)
#15 What did the stamp say to the envelope?
"Stick with me man, we'll go places."
#16 What did the hat say to the hatrack?
"Stay here, I'll go on a-head."
#17 Why can't toi hear a pteradactyl use the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent (the letter p in the name is silent)
#18 Why did the little boy eat his homework?
The teacher a dit it was a piece of cake.
#19 Why did the tomate blush?
It saw the salade dressing.
#20 What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
"Ruff!" (Rough)
#21 Why did the man send his phone to school?
He wanted a smartphone (i came up with that one too :)
#22 How do crazy people go through a forest?
They take the psycho path.
#23 How do toi know if it's raining chats and dogs?
toi step in a poodle (puddle)
#24 How do toi know if a clock is wise?
It goes clockwise (i thought of that)
#25 How do toi get Pikachu on a bus?
toi Pokémon (pok 'em on)
#26 Why can't toi dress with Pikachu in the room?
He'll Pikachu (peek at you)
#27 What do toi call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese (so old right?)
#28 How do get holy water?
toi boil the hell out of it!
#29 What starts with "E" ends with "E" but only has one letter in it?
An envelope, duh xD
#30 Why didn't the skeleton traverser, croix the road?
He didn't have the guts to.
#31 What did the ghost say to scare the bees?
"BOOOOBEEES!" XD (please don't yell that if your parents are home)
#32 What does an angry pepper do?
It gets jalepeño face! (All up in yo face)
#33 What do toi call an alligator in a vest?
An in- vest-igator investigator
#34 What's rose and fluffy?
rose fluff
#34.5 what's blue and fluffy? (Think about it)
rose fluff holding it's breath.
#35 What happens when toi drink 7 coca colas?
toi burp 7up
#36 Why can't your nose ever be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot.
#37 why does snoop dog carry an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle!
#38 Why was the police man in bed?
He was undercover.
#39 what did one light bulb say to another light bulb?
"Watts up?" (You know li,e the watts that are in a light bulb?)
#40 what did the poisson say when he hit a concrete wall?
"Dam!"
LAST ONE!
#41 Why can't toi trust lions?
They be lion to you! (Lying)
Alright so those are my corny jokes. Hope toi liked them. Make sure toi check out vlogbrothers they're really cool. Ciao! And rememeber...
Death came to a guy and said: "My friend today is your day."
Guy:"But I'm not ready!"
Then death said,"well your name is the suivant on my list".
Guy:"Okay why don't toi take a siège and I will get toi something to eat before we go?".
Then death said,"all right"
The guy gave death some nourriture with sleeping pills in it, death finished eating and fell into a deep sleep.
The guy took the liste and removed his name from the haut, retour au début of the liste and put it at the bottom of the list.
When death woke up he a dit to the guy, "Because toi have been so nice to me, I will start from the BOTTOM of the liste ..."
Moral of the story: - Whatever is written in your destiny ... Will never change no matter how much toi try!!
Guy:"But I'm not ready!"
Then death said,"well your name is the suivant on my list".
Guy:"Okay why don't toi take a siège and I will get toi something to eat before we go?".
Then death said,"all right"
The guy gave death some nourriture with sleeping pills in it, death finished eating and fell into a deep sleep.
The guy took the liste and removed his name from the haut, retour au début of the liste and put it at the bottom of the list.
When death woke up he a dit to the guy, "Because toi have been so nice to me, I will start from the BOTTOM of the liste ..."
Moral of the story: - Whatever is written in your destiny ... Will never change no matter how much toi try!!
A stoner called the feu department and said, "Come quick my house is on fire!" The Fireman asked "How do we get there?" The stoner says "DUH, the big red truck!"
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I appreciate every single person here, and despite my being very moody at times, I will always care for those who feel the same towards me :D
I noticed that I've been very...unpleasant on fanpop towards some people, and I apologize for that. All I could say was that I was in the Darkest Time of my life, and it consumed me entirely. But now, that will change >:)
I am me again. I l’amour and respect those who have always been there for me, were kind to me, are my fans, and appreciate each and every one of toi for the rest of my life :)
I l’amour toi all! Have a beautiful, wonderful jour :D