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posted by TheFan2000
5:45 AM- Wake up, whine to parents about a terrible headache
6:00 AM- Discover that temperature is 99 degrees, go back to sleep
6:45 AM- Wake up again suffering a severe bout of chills and feeling extremely groggy
7:00 AM- Eat breakfast, make final decision to stay accueil from school
7:30 AM- Suffer another episode of chills and go up to bedroom
7:35 AM- Take a morning nap before chills get worse
7:45 AM- Become extremely cold, get another headache, crank up the heated blanket to the highest it'll go
8:00 AM- Violently yank off heated blanket and turn down heat after waking up sweating
9:00 AM- Wake up feeling even groggier after dad leaves for work. Go downstairs and watch remainder of Good Morning America
9:05 AM- Mother makes an overly worried phone call. Assure her that everything is okay.
9:15 AM- Suffer another bout of chills and collapse on the canapé to catch the last of Good Morning America
10:00 AM- Realize that there's nothing mildly interesting on TV except soap operas. Perform periodic temperature check. One hundred and one degrees.
10:10 AM- Go down to practice the piano, but decide head throbs too much. Neighbor makes periodic phone call; assure her everything is fine.
11:00 AM- Check fanpop for anything new. Perform periodic temperature check. Still one hundred and one degrees.
11:30 AM- Heat up cold soupe for lunch, along with about five glasses of water. Go back to check Fanpop.
11:45 AM- Finish about half of the soupe before feeling seriously dizzy. Quickly put the soupe away and drink as much water as I can hold.
12:00 PM- Go back to computer to watch cat videos
12:15 PM- Get stranded on the weird side of YouTube; instead find something on Netflix to watch on TV
12:30 PM- Get bored of Netflix. Fall asleep on couch.
1:30 PM- Realize I slept through My periodic temperature check. Angry to find that it hasn't gone down at all.
1:45 PM-1:46 PM- Receive two consecutive phone calls: one from mom, one from neighbor
2:00 PM- Finally break down from the chills and headaches and grogginess. Huddle in a corner of the cuisine whimpering like a wounded animal.
2:05 PM- Periodic temperature check. No luck.
2:25 PM- Become drowsy from fever medicine. Take afternoon nap.
3:30 PM- Wake up feeling somewhat refreshed. Eat a Clementine and drink some milk. Realize with frustration I slept through another temperature check. Still no luck
3:40 PM- Mom comes accueil and fusses over my health, as well as making me drink water until I’m about to burst
3:45 PM- Check school website for homework. Complete all of it before getting another pounding migraine and severe chills
6:00 PM- Wake up with a queasy stomach and feeling grumpy. Take a quick douche to get blood flowing.
6:30 PM- Try once again to practice the piano. Make it through a few scales and a fragment of a sonata before a severe coughing fit.
7:00 PM- Appetite returns. Eat dîner with family. Perform periodic temperature check. One hundred degrees.
7:30 PM- Mom demands I take plus medicine. Watch TV with family for a while.
8:00 PM- Finish remainder of homework and manage to read a little bit
9:00 PM- Get another round of chills and go to lit in frustration

suivant MORNING (if still sick): Repeat process once again.
These are our rules! Please note ... these are
all numbered '1' ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put
it down. We need it up, toi need it down. toi don't hear us
complaining about toi leaving it down.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of
it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what toi want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints
do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable réponses to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you...
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The city of San Francisco is asking Kulbir Dhaliwal, who was attacked par a tiger at the San Francisco Zoo on Christmas jour 2007, to reimburse them over $75,000 for the city-funded medical care he received after the mauling.
Cold viruses can survive on objects like telephones and railings for up to three hours.
More suicides occur in the Grand Canyon than in any other national park.
There are plus bacteria in the ice machines at fast nourriture restaurants than in toilet bowl water.
Alcohol-related traffic fatalities are plus than twice as common on New Year's Eve as other midweek winter evenings.
Two...
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posted by Feathershine
1. When their watching TV get in their way and say "I'm in your way!! Im in your way!!"
2. Say "beep, beep beep..." until they snap
3. Call them on their cell phone when their out on a rendez-vous amoureux, date ou something, and in a weird voice say "Hello?! Can I send u a box of waffles" (LOL I don't know)
4. When their sleeping take a bottle of water and wake them up par dumping it on them and saying "Sorry! I came to bring it for u to drink, I didn't realize it slipped"
5. If toi have a dog ou cat (that DON'T sleep with your parents) dump him/her when there asleep
6. When toi spill any liquid blame it on the gods
7....
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1.find something old and breakable and go up to a apartment ou building ou highest floor in your house and open a window and estimate how long it will take that thing to hit the groung then throw it out the the window and cout how many seconds/minutes it takes to hit the ground really.
2.go to wal-mart,enough said
3.go outside and try to sell a old stuffed animal on a leash to people who look important to society,like hobos
4.go to your neighbors and tell them they need to stop the rucus and to shut up your trying to sleep even if its the middle of the jour and they arent making any noise
5.go to...
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posted by x-menobsessed26
Useful Hawaiian Phrases
On the Plane
My how your perfume fills the entire cabin!
'A'ala maoli keia wahi o kakou i kau wai 'ala kuikawa!


If I snore, I would like to apologize in advance
Ke nono au, e kala mua mai, i keia manawa ho'i.


I am filled with admiration for my in-flight meal
Kahaha ko'u na'au i ke 'ano o ka mea 'ai ma keia mokulele.


Only six dollars for a headset? Why thats only three dollars per ear!
Eono kala no ka ho'olohe lekio? 'O ia ho'i, 'ekolu wale no kala o kahi pepeiao!


Baby, Severe Turbulance is my middle name
E ku'u kumu e, mai hopohopo, ua kapa 'ia ko'u inoa waena, 'o ia 'o Severe...
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posted by ciaraluvsjustin
1.Bring a pillow.Fall asleep[or pretend to]until the last 15 minutes.Wake up,say"Oh Geez,better get cracking"and do some gibberish work.Turn it in a few minutes early
2.Get a copy of the exam,run out screaming "Andre Andre I've got the secret documents!!"
3.If it is a math/science exam,answer in essay form.If it is a long answer/essay form answer in numbers ou symbols.Be creative.
4.Make paper airplanes out of the exam.Throw them at the instructors left nostril.
5.Talk the entire way through the exam.Read questions out loud,debate your réponses with yourself out loud.If asked to stop, yell out"I'M...
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"An old woman haunted me!"

One night my and par brothers and I were sleeping up stairs while my mom was downstairs reading. I was lying in lit and heard this light stomping sound. Then the stomping sound got a little heavier. Soon, it became so loud that my brothers and I all came out of our room because we were scared. My mom had heard it too and she thought it was one of us playing a joke, but it wasn't - we were all in bed! We had no idea what to make of it and were really freaked out. But then, things got creepier....

"We found her stuff in the attic, her name was Tamara!"

I went over to...
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posted by jblovesme4ever
[]miley cyrus the girl who many of whom look up to but why[
resons to hate her(feel free to add plus on comments)

1)[]her music]: she doesnt write it on her own and her newest song untamed wow the part where she says I GO THOUGHT BOYS LIKE MONEY:and the only good song she has is the climb: and that is not saying much!!!:patry in the usa wow that is the s&^%$#@ musique vidio i have seen it a while

2)money: the only reson she is here is bcus she wants money: she has to get payed to do chairty events:and she is always just talking about it to

3)she doesnt care about her fans: she may say she doese...
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posted by deathchick9
Over the many years of pikachu,if toi look closely Pikachu has been getting thinner and thinner.When it started he was this cute,fat little chunk of Pokemon,but now he's a skinny little freak.Which can only me one thing....Ash has forced him to become bulimic!
*Dramatizations*
____________________________________
Ash:Jeez,Pikachu your so fat!

Pikachu:Pika?

________________________

Ash:Loose some weight toi fat bastard!

Pikachu:Pika?!
_________________________________________

Ash:No stop eating!Your just gonna get fatter!

*Ash shoves his finger down pikachu's throat to make him vomit his nourriture up.Pikachu...
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posted by melcu
1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with Friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If toi have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours par hooking a caméscope to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. <

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

9. Start each meal par conspicuously licking...
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posted by ihavOTD
 I am Anti- Miley because of this:
I am Anti- Miley because of this:
OH MY GOSH! I was just watching stupid HM and near the end, Miley and Lily started talking about-guess who? ROBERT PATTINSON. That's sick. here is their convo:(at least what though I heard)

" It's just sad that toi can't find a bf..." Lily says.
" Yeah... Hey, I guess Hannah can rendez-vous amoureux, date Robert Pattinson!" Miley says
" Oh....Robert Pattinson is SO dreamy...."
Thats sickening Disney. I feel bad for Rob. He can't hide ANYWHERE...
Really, do toi realize how crazy and gross a lot of fans are???? Here is a gross article about some crazed fans:

Robert Pattinson Approached par “Gross”, “Bleeding”...
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added by SheWolf11
Source: I DO NOT OWN THIS IMAGE
Similar to "30 Things To Do During An Exam." chercher for it in this club, it's way funnier. Apologies if this liste is a little outdated.

50 Ways to Mess With People in a Computer Lab

1. Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream "Oh my God! They've found me!" and bolt.
2. Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.
3. When your computer is turned off, complain to the monitor on duty that toi can't get the damn thing to work. After he/she's turned it on, wait 5 minutes, turn it off again, & repeat...
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added by totoyo25
added by tdacrazy6
Source: Tumblr
posted by Bluekait
Example:

There's someone knockin' on my door

There in the shadows, looks like a hand

Come to the rescue now

Once there was a man who decided he knew everything

Life's been so good to me

I went to see what I could find

toi never lived in the streets though toi wish toi had

I'm so sorry, please forgive me

Living in the sixth dimension

Over time I've come to feel

------------------------------------------------------------------

If toi need help ou another example for a better understanding, let me know.
added by CokeTheUmbreon
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Langley, West Virginia.

Commander Kane: *Walks up to Ted* How are the new watches coming out?
Ted: I think you'll be pleased with the work me, and Mabel did. par the way, how's Johnny doing?
Commander Kane: We found a replacement who's willing to use his name to protect his identity.

Sundsvall Sweden. Johnny Lightning was driving south on the Sundsvallbron. A bridge that was part of the E4 highway. His car was a shiny silver Alfa Romeo.

Johnny: *Smiling as he looks at himself in the rear view mirror. He then sees a red Nissan close to him*

The red car overtook him, and a black man pointed a MP7 at...
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 Yes toi are.
Yes you are.
Good jour everyone.

I just wanted to quickly write this article after thinking about it last night because I couldn't help but to feel the need to say something to everyone who is struggling with life.


Life is tough? yeah it fucking is man!! but guess what if your thoughts are stuck negatively toi going nowhere in progress you'll only sink plus and plus into depression.


Even if toi feel toi couldn't!!!! get a grip and try a hundred times never give up.

It's impossible to go vers l'avant, vers l’avant without one strong step from you.

Somehow you'll manage, learn how to trick your brain into positive thinking it will...
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