The two things everyone's been talking about lately are Christian Bale's onset freakout and those ubiquitous 25 aléatoire Things About Me lists. It got us wondering if maybe Christian Bale himself had made a list, so we hacked into his Facebook account. And then we made this fake list.
1) I ad-libbed all of Newsies. It wasn't even supposed to be a musical.
2) My philosophy: It's not who toi are underneath, but how good toi are at staying out of my fucking eye-line that defines you.
3) I Lost my virginity to Miranda Richardson on the set of Empire of the Sun. In costume. Her costume.
An insanely expensive restaurant on the Upper East Side. The decor is a mixture of chi-chi and rustic, with swagged silk curtains, handwritten menus and pale rose tablecloths decorated with arrangements of moss, twigs and hideous exotic flowers. The clientele is young, wealthy and confident, dressed in the height of late-eighties style: pouffy Lacroix dresses, slinky Alaïa, Armani power suits.
Christian Bale’s beauty cannot be put into words, but I will try.
That which does not kill Christian Bale only makes him hotter.
Before I expound, let me state for the record that I am a fiercely heterosexual man. I have engaged one woman to marry me and spend every morning on the subway attempting to engage several others in mutual eye contact. And it’s not because I am in any way nefarious. I am loyal; I just want women to acknowledge me in some small way because I find them mesmerizing. Achingly beautiful.