The two things everyone's been talking about lately are Christian Bale's onset freakout and those ubiquitous 25 aléatoire Things About Me lists. It got us wondering if maybe Christian Bale himself had made a list, so we hacked into his Facebook account. And then we made this fake list.

1) I ad-libbed all of Newsies. It wasn't even supposed to be a musical.

2) My philosophy: It's not who toi are underneath, but how good toi are at staying out of my fucking eye-line that defines you.

3) I Lost my virginity to Miranda Richardson on the set of Empire of the Sun. In costume. Her costume.

4) If I've...

AMERICAN PSYCHO

by
Mary Harron and Guinevere Turner

Based on the novel par Bret Easton Ellis

Fourth Draft
November 1998


INT. PASTELS RESTAURANT- NIGHT

An insanely expensive restaurant on the Upper East Side.
The decor is a mixture of chi-chi and rustic, with swagged
silk curtains, handwritten menus and pale rose tablecloths
decorated with arrangements of moss, twigs and hideous
exotic flowers. The clientele is young, wealthy and
confident, dressed in the height of late-eighties style:
pouffy Lacroix dresses, slinky Alaïa, Armani power suits.

CLOSE-UP on a WAITER lire out the specials.

WAITER
With goat cheese...

(the spilled whiskey is) SMOKING, eating into the wood.

GORDON
Get a medic!
Loeb COLLAPSES.

INT. KITCHEN, WAYNE PENTHOUSE -- EVENING

Dent pulls Rachel into the kitchen, away from the crowd.

DENT
You cannot leave me on my own with
these people.



51.





RACHEL
The whole mob's after toi and you're
worried about these guys?

DENT
Compared to this, the mob doesn't
scare me. Although, I will say: them
gunning for toi makes toi see things
clearly.

RACHEL
Oh, yeah?

DENT
Yeah. It makes toi think about what
you couldn't stand losing. And who
you want to spend the rest of your
life with...
Rachel looks at Dent. Smiles.

RACHEL
The rest...

Christian Bale: Hot ou Not?
By Ted Berg

Christian Bale’s beauty cannot be put into words, but I will try.

That which does not kill Christian Bale only makes him hotter.

Before I expound, let me state for the record that I am a fiercely heterosexual man. I have engaged one woman to marry me and spend every morning on the subway attempting to engage several others in mutual eye contact. And it’s not because I am in any way nefarious. I am loyal; I just want women to acknowledge me in some small way because I find them mesmerizing. Achingly beautiful.

Just not quite as beautiful as Christian Bale....