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 Magazine - Issue 09
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Sam Winchester: I came here to make toi an offer.
Crossroads Demon: You're going to make me an offer? That's adorable.
Sam Winchester: toi can let Dean out of his deal right now. He lives, I live... toi live, everyone goes accueil happy. ou toi stop breathing permantantly.


Crossroads Demon: All this tough talk, I have to tell toi it's not very convincing. I mean, come one Sam, do toi even want to break the deal?
Sam Winchester: What do toi think?
Crossroads Demon: I don't know. Aren't toi tired of cleaning up Dean's messes? Of dealing with that broken psychy of his? Aren't toi tired of being bossed...
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Dean Winchester: What are toi laughing at bitch, your still trapped.
Casey: So are you... bitch.


Sam Winchester: I might have found some omens in Ohio. Drought lightning, barometric pressure drop...
Dean Winchester: That's thrilling.
Sam Winchester: ...plus some guy blows his head off in a church, and another goes postal in a hobbey boutique before the cops take him out. Might be demonic omens.
Dean Winchester: ou it could just be a suicide and a psycho scrapbooker.


Casey: What can I get toi boys?
bDean Winchester: What's your specialty?
Casey: I make a mean hurricane.
Dean Winchester: [smirks] I guess...
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Dean Winchester: I'm Batman.
Sam Winchester: [sarcastically] Yeah, you're Batman.


Dean Winchester: [looks at Sam] What?
Sam Winchester: I Lost my shoe.


Dean Winchester: Is that a rabbit's foot?
Sam Winchester: I think it is.


Bobby Singer: [re: the rabbits foot] toi see, toi touch it, toi own it. toi own it, sure, toi get a run of good luck to beat the devil. But toi lose it, that luck turns. It turns so bad that you're dead inside a week.
Sam Winchester: Well, so I won't lose it, Bobby.
Bobby Singer: Everybody loses it!


Bobby Singer: Dean, great news. It wasn't easy, but I found a heavyweight cleansing...
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Bobby Singer: Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son.


Ruby: I'm the girl who just saved your ass.


Dean Winchester: Truth is, I'm tired, Sam. And, I don't know, it's like there's a light at the end of the tunnel.
Sam Winchester: It's Hellfire, Dean.
Dean Winchester: Yeah, well, whatever. You're alive, I feel good for the first time in a long time. I got a an to live, Sam. I'd like to make the most of it, so what do toi say we kill some evil sons of bitches and we raise a little Hell, huh?
Sam Winchester: You're unbelievable.
Dean Winchester: Very true.


Dean Winchester: What's in the box!
Silence.
Dean Winchester: Brad Pitt, Se7en, no?


Sam Winchester: How could toi make that deal?
Dean Winchester: Because I couldn't live with toi dead.


Bobby Singer: A cheeseburger for breakfast?
Dean Winchester: I ain't sweating the cholesterol.
Sam Winchester: toi saved my life over and over. Man toi sacrifice everything for me, don't toi think I'd do the same for you? You're my big brother, there's nothing I wouldn't do for you. And I don't care, I'm going to get toi out of this. I'm going to save your cul, ass for a change.


Dean Winchester: toi know when we were little, toi couldn't have been plus than five, toi started asking me questions. Like, how come we didn't have a mom? Why we always have to déplacer around? Where'd dad go? When he'd take off for days at a time. I remember I begged toi to quit asking, Sammy, toi don't want to know....
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Sam Winchester: toi wanna maybe open it up after your done patting yourself on the back.


Dean Winchester: Well my room mate doesn't say, how's yours?
Sam Winchester: He just keeps starring at me in a way that makes me really uneasy.
Dean Winchester: Sounds like you're making new friends.


Sam Winchester: toi heard in the yard?
Dean Winchester: Yeah.
Sam Winchester: Dean, doesn't it bother toi how well toi seem to fit in here?
Dean Winchester: No, not really.


As they walk into the prison.
Sam Winchester: This is, without a doubt, the dumbest, craziest thing we've ever done... And that's in a long, storied career of dumb and crazy.
Dean Winchester: Calm down. It's all part of the plan.


FBI Agent Victor Henricksen: toi think you're funny?
Dean Winchester: I think I'm adorable.
Dean: And the lunar cycles?
Sam: Uh-huh. mois after mois all the murders occur in the weeks leading up to the full moon.
Dean: Which is this week, right?
Sam: Hence the lawyer.
Dean: Awesome.
Sam: Dean, could toi be a bigger geek about this?
Dean: I'm sorry man, but what about a human par day, a freak animal killing machine par night don't toi understand? I mean, loups garous are badass. We haven't seen one since we were kids.
Sam: Okay, Sparky. And toi know what? After we kill it, we can go to Disneyland!


The Brothers are interviewing Madison about her boss.
Madison: toi get a few scotches in him and...
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Sam Winchester: Should've thought of it.
Dean Winchester: What?
Sam Winchester: It's an old country custom Dean. Planting a arbre as a grave marker.
Dean Winchester: You're like a walking encyclopedia of weirdness.
Wwalks off
Sam Winchester: [calls after him] Yeah, I know.


Dean Winchester: [after they come to see a creepy-looking house] toi know, just once I'd like to round the corner and see a nice house.


Molly McNamara: Oh, Thank God!
Dean Winchester: Ah, Call me Dean.


Dean Winchester: Hey, follow the creepy brick road.
Dean Winchester: toi have to give those purple nurples a shot... phew!


Curtis: They made me slow dance.


Sam Winchester: That's not food, Dean, that's Darwinism!


Sam Winchester: Dean, did toi touch my computer?
Dean Winchester: Uh, no.
Sam Winchester: Eh, well, then why is it La Reine des Neiges at "bustyasianbeauties.com"?
Dean smiles awkwardly and walks away
Sam Winchester: Just... don't touch my stuff anymore, okay?
Dean Winchester: [yelling] HEY! Why don't toi control your OCD?


Sam Winchester: How would toi feel if I screwed up your Impala?
Dean Winchester: Would be the last thing you'd do.
Dean Winchester: NO, no. This is a demon ou a spirit, toi know they find people a few fries short of a happy meal and they trick them into killing these randoms.


Dean Winchester: There's tons of stuff on licornes to, in fact I've heard they ride on silver moon beams and shoot rainbows out of their ass.
Sam Winchester: Wait, there's no such thing as unicorns?


Dean Winchester: [on the vibrating bed] Hey. Man, toi gotta try this, I mean there really is magic in the Magic Fingers.
Sam Winchester: Dean, you're enjoying that way too much, it's kind of making me uncomfortable.


Dean Winchester: Well, I...
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Sam Winchester: [Ava has told Sam about her visions] I don't believe this.
Ava: Oh, of course toi don't. toi think I'm a total nutjob!
Sam Winchester: Wait, no, no, no, I mean... toi must be one of us.
Ava: Sorry, one of... One of who?
Sam Winchester: One of the psychics, like me. Look, Ava, I have visions too, all right? So, so - so we're connected.
Ava: [Laughs] Okay, so, you're nuts. That's great.


Sam Winchester: Are toi okay?
Ava: Am I okay?
Sam Winchester: Yeah.
Ava: I just helped toi steal some dead guy's confidential psych files.
Beat
Ava: I'm awesome!


Dean Winchester: [Dean spots Sam through a...
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Sam Winchester: Dean, did toi pay attention to History class at all?
Dean Winchester: Yeah, shot hear round the world, how a bill becomes a law...
Sam Winchester: That's not school. That's School House Rock.
Dean Winchester: [shrugs] Whatever.


Dean Winchester: I'm just going to say this once, toi make a déplacer on him and you'll be dead before toi hit the ground. Do I make myself clear? Is that understood?


Sarge: My neighbor, Mr. Rogers...
Dean Winchester: You've got a neighbor named Mr. Rogers?
Sarge: Not anymore.


Duane Tanner: toi were gonna shoot me!
Dean Winchester: toi don't shut your pie hole, I...
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Sam Winchester: So?
Dean Winchester: The secretary's name is Carly, she's 23, she Kayaks and they're real.
Sam Winchester: toi didn't happen to ask her if she has seen any black chiens lately did you?
Dean Winchester: Every complaint called in this week about anything big, black, hairy ou doglike. There are 19 calls in all, and ah...
Pulls post-it off of paper
Dean Winchester: I dont know what this thing is.
Sam Winchester: [laughs] toi mean Carly's Myspace address?
Dean Winchester: Yeah, Myspace, what the hell is that?
Sam Winchester laughs
Dean Winchester: Seriously, is that like some sort of porn site?...
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Dean Winchester: Does she look familiar to you?
Sam Winchester: No.
Dean Winchester: Are toi hungry?
Sam Winchester: No, why?
Dean Winchester: For some reason, I could really go for some pois, pea soup.


Det. Peter Sheridan: Talk directly to the camera. Start par stating your name for the record.
Dean Winchester: My name is Dean Winchester. I'm an Aquarius, I enjoy sunsets, long walks on the plage and frisky women. And I did not kill anyone. But I know who did. ou rather "what" did. Of course, it can't be for sure, because our investigation was interrupted. But our work in theory, is that were looking for...
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Dean Winchester: Sam, I think I know what we're dealing with here... It's the Stay Puff guimauve Man.


Dean Winchester: [to Ellen] toi weren't really joking about coming, were you?
Sam and Jo look at each other in the back seat
Dean Winchester: How about some music?
He turns on the radio
Radio: She's as cold as ice...
Ellen immediately turns it off
Dean Winchester: [Quietly to himself] This is going to be a long ride.


Dean Winchester: L.A. A young girl got kidnapped par an evil cult.
Sam Winchester: Yeah, and does this girl have a name?
Dean Winchester: Katie Holmes.
Sam Winchester: That's funny... and for you, so bitchy.
Sam Winchester: Dean! Andy's got the Impala!
Dean Winchester: I know! He just sort of asked me for it, and I, I let him take it!
Sam Winchester: toi what?
Dean Winchester: He full-on Obi-Wanned me!


Guard: I don't really know about this.
Andrew Gallagher: It's ok, just go over there and just have little nap. It's really ok. These aren't the droids toi are looking for...
Dean Winchester: Awesome.


Dean Winchester: Besides, if I ran off with you, I think your mother might kill me.
Jo Harvelle: You're afraid of my mother?
Dean Winchester: I think so.


Andrew Gallagher: I have an evil twin.


Dean Winchester: I call do-over.
Sam Winchester: What are you, 7?
Dean Winchester: Neil, it's your grief counselors. We've come to hug.


Dean Winchester: It takes two to... toi know... have hardcore sex.


Dean Winchester: I think she went out to rent Beaches.


Dean Winchester: What's dead should stay dead! Didn't toi see Pet Sematary?


Dean Winchester: [Giving another fake name] My name's Alan, Alan Stanwick.


Dean Winchester: Damn, that dead chick can run!


Sam is watching porn on the tv in the motel room when he heres Dean start to enter and quickly turns it off as he walk in. Dean stops, and gives Sam a funny look
Sam Winchester: What?
Dean Winchester: Awkward.


Dean...
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Sam Winchester: What kind of house doesn't have salt? Low sodium freaks!


Sam Winchester: I don't understand, Dean. We burned the damn thing!
Dean Winchester: Yeah, thank you, Captain Obvious.


Sam Winchester: Maybe toi can get her to write it all down on a cocktail napkin.
Dean Winchester: Not me.
Sam Winchester: No, no, no, no. Pickups are your thing, Dean.
Dean Winchester: It wasn't my butt she was checking out.


Ann: [re: the painting] I can't believe we actually bought this thing.
Mark: There's a reason charity auctions have an open bar.


Sam Winchester: Why are toi trying so hard to get me laid?
Dean...
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Sam Winchester: He will always know there are things out there in the dark. He'll never be the same, toi know? Sometimes I wish that...
Dean Winchester: What?
Sam Winchester: I wish I could have that kind of innocence.
Dean Winchester: If it means anything, sometimes I wish toi could, too.


Michael: toi a dit you're a big brother?
Dean Winchester: Yeah.
Michael: You'd take care of your little brother? You'd do anything for him?
Dean Winchester: [in a very heartfelt way] Yeah, I would.


Sam Winchester: You're getting wise in your old age, Dean.
Dean Winchester: Damn right.


Sam Winchester: An old person,...
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Dean Winchester: Ok. I got the bartender's phone number.
Sam Winchester: Dean, toi might want to stop thinking with your downstairs brain and start thinking with your upstairs brain.


Sam Winchester: I don't know Dean. There's something about this girl that I can't quite put my finger on.
Dean Winchester: No, but I bet you'd like to.


Sam Winchester: I think there's something strange going on here, Dean.
Dean Winchester: Yeah, tell me about it. She wasn't even that into me.


Dean Winchester: Why don't toi knock on her door and invite her to a poésie lire ou whatever it is toi do.


Dean Winchester:...
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